Mothering Twins: Mom Will Never be #1
?There?s my twin. And then there is mom. And nothing can change that.?
This is something I learned rather early in my life role as mother of identical twins ? that I am not the most important person in my sons` life. It was hard to accept at first but here?s what I told myself to help me swallow the bitter pill:
? They?ve been through a lot together and no amount of mother-child bonding can compete with that. Heck! They shared my womb from day 1 (or round that time). They even shared the same placenta. They had almost nine months head start when it comes to building a relationship.
? They have (almost) the same genes, for goodness sake. I share only 50% genetic similarity with each of them. They have (almost) 100% identical DNA. That?s something no one can beat and no can change.
? They are of the same age. It?s just natural that they share the same interests and laugh together at jokes that they only see. Some twins even have their own language (not mine, though).
? I should take this as a blessing in disguise. They will play together, go to kindergarten and school together. They will take care of each other.
That was 4.5 years ago. I?ve come to terms with my secondary role in my sons` lives. We do have some kind of mother-sons bonding. Not necessarily as intensive as twin bonding but suffice it to say that my boys love their mom, too.
And ? yes – they do take care of each other. (Caveat: Not always. They also quarrel and fight).