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Toddler Goes International… Getting Ready For A Trip Overseas

toddlergoesoverseas1.jpgNext week, we are going on a trip to England to visit family. Without a small child, this is a fairly simple matter. With a small child, it’s more complicated, requiring more stamina, more resources, more patience and somewhat more blog entries than you can imagine. Here’s the first – here goes!

While we are away, Binny, our nervous-of-the-vet dog, is being boarded. Yesterday, we took her to a new vet for to get her shots up to date for the kennel. Sounds fairly simple? Not with a toddler!

Brit : [holding toddler’s coat, boots and mittens] We are going to take Binny to the vet today.

Toddler : [stony silence]

Brit : Let’s put your coat on.

Toddler : Nooooooo!

Brit : We have to take Binny to the vet. [keep talking while dressing Toddler] The vet is Binny’s doctor. Do you remember when you went to the doctor? She listened to your tummy, and looked in your ears, and in your mouth [keep talking, nearly done], and she said how well you looked and gave you a sucker?

Toddler : [hears the word ‘sucker’] Yeah!

Brit : So we are taking Binny to see her doctor.

Toddler : [still thinking about suckers] Yeah!

Dog : [seeing leash] Yeah! Walk!

Out to the car with dog and toddler. Bundle dog in the car, toddler in carseat, go.

Dog : No! Get me out of here!

Arrive at vet’s office, only 15 minutes late. Apologize and are shown to exam room, repeat with cupboards and draws full of pokey, poisonous, generally hazardous, and fascinating to toddler veterinary supplies.

Dog : Get me out of here!toddlergoesoverseas2.jpg

Toddler : cupboards! draws! cupboards!

Brit : Don’t open the cupboards. Or the draws.

Toddler : [totally ignoring me] cupboards! cupboards! open open open! bang!

Brit : Look at Binny. She’s scared. Can you pet her and tell her it’s ok?

Toddler : [still ignoring me] cupboards cupboards cupcubbycubbycubby!

Brit : NO!

Dog : Get me out of here!

Vet arrives. Vet appears to be the type who prefers animals to children, especially ones trying to rifle through her cupboards, and looks nervously at Toddler. Vet asks medical questions about dog.

Toddler : [thinks] A light switch! I can reach that…

Vet : Does she have a microchip?

Toddler : [click!] Dark!

Dog : Were did everyone go?

Find light switch. Vet is glaring at me.

Dog : Get me out of here!

Brit : [thinks] Get me out of here!

Dog receives shot, we leave exam room. Toddler spots display of dog and cat toys in the waiting room.

Toddler : [at ear-hurting pitch] Mice! MiiMiiMiiMiiiiiiiiiiii!!

Brit : Please don’t touch those.

Toddler : Ball! [throws ball. boing, boing, boing all the way across the waiting room.]

Brit : [retrives ball. gets giggles] please behave [try to stop giggling, we are being glared at].

Dog : Get me out of here!

Toddler is enamored by a squeaky plush carrot. I pay, prise carrot from toddler’s iron grasp, ignore wails, and we are free to go. Out the door and back on the street.

Dog : Must poop.

Toddler : Must poop.

Bundle dog back in car, clean up after dog, quick diaper change in the trunk (mercifully we have a SUV with a nice big trunk) and back home we go.

I’d like a large glass of white wine at this point, but I settle for coffee and feel grateful to have survived with my dignity and sanity somewhat intact.

So right, the dog is all set to stay at the kennel. So all we have to do now, is pack, and get to the airport in time. Let’s see how that goes!

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