Help Me Learn How To Discipline
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As the mother of a strong-willed three-year old I sometimes find it hard to instill discipline and set boundaries. Time-out which isn’t really a Jamaican phenomenon doesn’t work for more than a few minutes. He’s so inventive, all he does during this time is create stories to entertain himself.
The ‘naughty corner’ doesn’t work any more, especially now that he’s being home schooled and no longer goes to the nursery. I feel that being home schooled is a factor here because there are no other children around that he wants to play with instead.
I’ve taken up having discussions with the little man about the consequences of being disobedient and the rewards that come with being obedient. He understands, and promises to be good next time around, but of course he often returns to not listening or obeying in short order. The funny thing about all of this is that he doesn’t disobey rules like no playing in the street or going through the gate alone – so I know he understands.
This constant battle of wills can be wearing at times – although I do enjoy when he explains his behavior with good reasoning and logic, I know it is important to set boundaries. Spanking is not illegal in Jamaica and kids still get punished that way, but I don’t like it and plan on avoiding going down that route.
I’ve been reading and trying to implement some of ideas that the experts recommend about disciplining the strong-willed toddler, but I must confess that some of the suggestions are just not cutting it in my book. Real life experiences and suggestions from real-live parents is what I prefer.
It is also important to me that while disciplining my little man I don’t kill his spirits and sense of self. I believe that self-confidence and other admirable attributes are developed early on and I want to nurture those.
So what do you do to get your toddler to obey you and follow the rules you set? Share your techniques, successes and failure with this mom who’s desperate for help.
MrsH says...
Wow,you’re in that stage I’m dreading already. I would probably research and research and research on this. Buy books or read discipline articles on-line.
Depending on the age of your child, you are supposed to put them in a corner that is devoid of any stimulation or fun. And it is supposed to last in minutes correlating to their age. But it sounds like it is not a punishment at all for your son.
You could try rewards instead of punishment. Like a chart. Everytime he does something good, you can add stars. Once he gets 5 stars, he gets a special treat…10 stars, an even bigger treat..something like that.
If he doesn’t respond to punishment maybe the rewards system would be better. There are many ways to implement it. Good luck!
mari says...
i also use the rewards technique in disciplining my kids. i have two boys, 1 year apart, and whenever they start getting rough, my world is in total chaos. what i do is to talk to them like they’re adults. i make it clear to them what the consequences of their actions would be. there are times they don’t take me seriously and just laugh at me. then i start over again.
Delisyus says...
Experts say consistency is very crucial in discipline… and trying to make the conflicts opportunities for the child to practice self-discipline, to instill in him a sense that he is responsible for the consequences, good and bad
I also read Brazelton’s Touchpoints and loved what he said about kids testing parents incessantly… that they will test us again and again and again and again… and constantly validate what we mean by NO
is it a NO all the time, a NO for everyone or just me, a NO in the mornings alone, is still a NO at GRandma’s etc 
unfortunately, that’s how they learn of their boundaries…