Child Therapy or Parent Training: Whats the Difference?
Or is there one?
My son was only three years old when I sought out mental health counseling for him. You may be wondering why in the world a toddler might need therapy unless he’s horribly violent or presenting symptoms of Autism, but he had neither of these. Instead, he was just not adjusting well to his father’s year-long overseas military assignment and I did not know how to help him beyond what I was already trying.
I should point out that I’m pro-therapy. Right now I’m in graduate school studying clinical counseling so I may be quicker to jump to the conclusion that therapy can help almost anyone -including a toddler- but if you have ever considered putting your young child into therapy then let me reveal to you what you are probably in for.
Parent Training?
The biggest thing you will probably come to realize is that therapy for really young kids is more like training for the parent. In fact, at my son’s final session with his psychologist I was asked if I had any questions about anything and I said, “This was more about training me to deal with my son’s emotions rather than teaching my son about dealing with his emotions, wasn’t it?” The psychologist nodded and said that if it was billed to insurance companies as “Parent Training” then it probably wouldn’t get paid. It seems to me that some parents probably wouldn’t even enroll in anything called Parent Training because it might seem intimidating.
What to Expect During Child Therapy
- The psychologist takes my son into the Toy Room and lets him pick out some toys to bring back into her office for the session.
- My son plays with the toys while the psychologist asks me about how the last couple of weeks have gone and asks me if I have any special concerns to discuss.
- The psychologist then introduces some new concepts regarding interaction with my son. She then asks me to sit down on the ground with him and play while incorporating whatever new concept was introduced in addition to the ones from previous sessions. For example, one session she asked me to interrupt his play to give him direct commands to work on compliance with parental requests.
- If at any point he doesn’t follow the rules of the office (raising his hand to interrupt conversation, not throwing toys, and all the other rules set by the psychologist) he’s put into a time out by the psychologist.
The psychologist spent a lot more time talking to me and training me than she did with my son. I think this is an important thing to realize when it comes to therapy for very young children; at this age, it isn’t so much about changing the kid as it is about changing the way the parent deals with the kid. While this may seem intimidating to some parents, I found it to be incredibly empowering.
Therapy Did Help My Toddler
Or maybe I should say it helped me to help my toddler. We have four months until Daddy is back home, but even upon his return I will continue to use all the tips and tactics the child psychologist taught me. If you’re thinking about seeking out assistance from a therapist for behavioral issues your toddler is displaying, don’t worry that your child is too young to benefit from therapy. You may learn a few things too.
Dawn Allcot says...
I firmly believe that most of people’s problems with “other people” (whether it’s their children, boss, family or whomever) can be solved by changing the way we deal with and view those people.
Of course, it’s even more true with toddlers!
But the fact is, we can’t change other people, only our reaction to them.
Great article, Tamsen!
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