Now that I am a SAHM (soon to be a student SAHM), my husband has been relegated as the sole breadwinner of the family. He received a generous offer from the office here in our new city for a transfer. They offered to pay for moving expenses, and other perks that helped ease the pain of moving to a much more expensive state. He was forewarned however that the position was a demanding one, and that he would need to pull plenty of overtime.

As a result, he’s gone by dawn’s early light and home well after 6:30 pm most days. Now that I’m home, I can see just how skimped father and daughter are on time with each other. And when I worked, I kinda had a similar schedule. Needless to say, I’m very glad that I am home with her everyday now, and that she spends not only quality time with me but quantity time as well.

What about Dad though? Or Mom in other families’ case? Or if both parents are working? Because contrary to what others say, quantity of time spent with your child matters as well, not just quality. If you spend one solid “quality” week with your child in a year, no matter how special it is, it doesn’t translate to a fulfilling parent-child relationship.

In our case, Dad makes weekends completely reserved for family bonding time. Completely. Mina is 9 mos. old and apart from the occasional one week when we were apart due to the move, a special trip for him to see his family overseas, etc., he spends all weekends with Mina. Does he need to unwind, or socialize and bond with friends? I think so, and he does, on a weekday, maybe once every two weeks at most. Some may think this is not enough, but when you have a family and a busy schedule, there should be nothing more important that being there for your family when you can. And on the weekends, for most working parents, you can. I am actually saying that you may have to, yes, sacrifice for your child and family. If you want to socialize, socialize with other parents or friends who love having your kids around. I’m lucky though that I have a husband who actually thinks it’s fun to be with us.

How can you bond during the week? You can start by attaching a morning routine to each day. Breakfast is a great way to bond with your little ones. You can have a fun and healthy meal, talk about your plans for the day. Don’t bury your nose in the morning paper, but engage your child in chitchat, jokes. Wake up early enough or so that breakfast isn’t rushed or nonexistent.

For dinner, insist that the family eat together. It’s been shown that the family who eat together are often much closer, and children in these families have lower levels of delinquency and better eating habits. Keep the TV turned off during dinner. There won’t be much engaging conversation going on if all your eyes are tuned to the TV. Remember, this is your chance for quality time. You can have one day a week where all rules are done away with and you can all have meals in front of the TV, desserts to your heart’s content, etc.

And top it all off with a bedtime routine. A nice lingering or playful bath, a bedtime story, a prayer with your kids if that is keeping with your faith. All of these help create lasting impressions and good memories for your children.

The key to making all the time you spend with your kids quality time is doing away with distractions, making them a part of any time-consuming tasks so they still feel connected with you (let them help you cook, wash dishes in tandem with you, etc), keeping work at work, and listening to what they have to say.

How about you, how do you make time for your family, and how do you make that time count?