I’ve been hoping that I can continue to breastfeed my 9-month old daughter until she is one year old—when I don’t have to buy formula anymore. (My son weaned himself somewhere between 9 and 10 months.) At that age, most pediatricians will say babies can go to cow’s milk. I know some people will nurse through the second year for various reasons. I don’t think I could do it. I’m not sure what my cut-off would be, but I told my husband that if one of them bit me with teeth, I was done. One thing I am sure of, eight years old is too old for me.

But not for Veronica Robinson! She believes that children should be able to decide for themselves when to wean, whether it’s 9 months, or 9 years, or even…19. She nursed her first daughter, Bethany, until she was 5. Her nearly-8 year old, Eliza, isn’t ready to quit. When she asked them when someone should stop breastfeeding, the girls replied, “Never!” Because, according to one of them, it’s better than a mango or a melon.

In the video clip above,  Veronica said, “They won’t breastfeed forever, it’s just that simple. They will not breastfeed when they go to college or get married.” Well, I should hope not. But when will they quit? Veronica says she’s giving them a small gift of comfort. But I’m not convinced. The girls have named her breasts, and draw pictures of them, like they were pets.

The family is from England, but I wonder if this might not be questioned by CYFD in the United States. I also wonder if this is really a gift for the girls, or does Mom have her identity wrapped up in these children?

How long is too long to breastfeed? Is extremely extended nursing a form of child abuse? How did you decide when to wean your own babies?

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how hard it was contemplating weaning my nearly one year old daughter from nursing. Before the birth of my daughter, I planned to nurse for six months only. I was worried about the shape of my breasts, if it would sag with extended weaning, shallow stuff really. I never knew I would find nursing so fulfilling. Only moms can understand what I mean I think.

Anyway, a lot of you wrote kind words telling me to keep it up, and saying that at this age, a baby really isn’t ready to wean yet. This was echoed by my lactation consultant, and by other moms I talked to. I felt relieved, and made the decision to let my daughter self-wean from then on.

Until this past week’s resurfacing doubts. Mina has started to refuse to nurse by turning her head away, crawling away, and worse, biting down. The ouch is from the bite and the emotional rejection I’m feeling. Still, I continued to offer her the option of nursing during the daytime, even with the rejection. I figured, one of these days, she’ll take it.

Just a few minutes ago, I offered her an evening nip right before bed time. Lying next to me, with her blankie wrapped in her arm, she looks at my breast, looks up at me and very simply said, “No“.

I don’t think she can get any clearer than that.

Sigh.

I have read a lot of facts about breastfeeding. I went to a class to prepare for breastfeeding although I don’t think I really needed to. The class helped I’m sure, but Mina latched on without any problems and was a champion suckler from the beginning.

I have always planned to wean at the 1 year mark, but as I got closer to the date, I got even less firm on the date I would wean. I never thought I would enjoy nursing her so much but I have. The feeling of closeness, bonding, of giving her something that no other caregiver in her universe could, of giving her nourishment designed and formulated just for her – I thoroughly enjoy it all.

As she nears her 1 year though, I’m having doubts as to whether we’ll make it even to that momentous date. I know all the experts say that babies this age will act disinterested in nursing because they’re becoming more and more fascinated with the outside world. We’re still breastfeeding 5 times a day, but during the day I feel like I’m forcing her to nurse as she pushes me away after about literally 3 minutes. My breasts have gone down in size, matching the decreasing demand for supply, and right now, I have plugged ducts to deal with.

The physical discomfort is nothing to the emotional one though. I can’t help but feel, I hate to say this, but rejected somehow. I know it’s silly but that’s how I feel. How could I have thought in the beginning that I would be overjoyed the minute she was weaned? Just her decreasing interesting in breastfeeding, and the mere thought of weaning, is making me feel sad.

I’m going to have to consult a nursing consultant soon. I’m not sure if I should continue longer. I’m not sure if I should just expect her to nurse at night when she’s only half-awake and just let the days go. I’m not sure of anything right now. The only thing I’m sure of is I didn’t know my heart would break at the thought of weaning.

Breastfeeding? Supplementing? Weaning?

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Every mom experiences this to some degree. Whether weaning from breast or formula to cow’s milk, babies and toddlers are notoriously awkward about drinking enough milk.

Pediatricians usually recommend around 16oz of cow’s milk a day for a one-year-old. My one-year-old was totally typical of weaning babies and thought he should drink one sip, then nurse 14 times a day. I despaired of ever getting him to drink enough milk to wean him without worrying that he would get enough nutrients. Other moms of one-year-olds have the same struggle weaning from formula.

Here’s some tips and tricks to encourage your baby to drink more milk.

• Mix pumped breastmilk or formula with the cow’s milk to get them used to the taste gradually.
• Try different cups – different styles of sippy cups, spouts, straws, valves or no valves, or even cups with no lids – most babies can drink from a cup with a little help. Let your baby pick out a cup. Yes, your son will probably want Dora The Explorer. Better Dora than no milk!
• Pretend it’s your milk. Pour a cup. Drink. Baby will want some. No, this is mine. Are you sure you want some? Well, ok, I guess you can have some.
• Flavor the milk. Babies often like vanilla, from a tiny drop of vanilla flavoring. Chocolate is another fave, a tip-of-a-teaspoon of Nesquik makes milk very chocolaty for a baby so you don’t need to worry too much about the sugar.
• Color the milk. My son used to insist blue milk tasted better than white milk. Whatever, dude, as long as you are drinking it, it’s all good. Use a tiny amount of food dye, or health food stores sell vegetable-based food dyes.
• Have something dry to eat, like crackers, or toast. Then offer milk. Thirsty babies usually drink.
• Milk on cereal counts, as does milk in sauces. Mac and cheese, and many pasta sauces have milk in them.
• Cheese counts too. And yogurt, and yogurt or milk in smoothies.
• Some babies like soy milk, especially the flavored kinds. Pediatricians don’t usually recommend soy milk unless baby is lactose-intolerant but a cup of soy milk does have protein, calcium and vitamins. Mixing soy and cow’s milk together tastes like soy milk, and has the goodness of cow’s milk.
• Temperature. Try cold, room temperature, warm. A friend’s baby only drank milk with ice chips. (Be careful with ice cubes, they could be a choking hazard.)
• Froth it up. A $2 cappuccino milk frother + warm milk = milk froth baby can eat with a spoon. Big hit with babies learning to use a spoon.

Mix it up. If one trick stops working, try another, and another, and another.

If you are worried baby will want to drink blue milk (or chocolate milk or whatever) forever, gradually reduce the amount of food coloring (or Nesquik ect.) until she’s drinking plain milk. And most importantly, don’t pressure your baby or insist they drink their milk. If anything, it will make them less likely to want to drink it, and give them a negative association with the new milk.

And good luck, Mama! It will seem like the battle of the century but one day your baby will be drinking milk like a champ. Promise!

What tips and tricks have you used? Share your secrets!

I weaned my son when he was thirteen months old. I would have kept nursing him beyond that, but he had the pesky habit of biting me while nursing, and since I couldn’t break him of the habit no matter what method I tried (and believe me when I say I tried everything) I went ahead and called it quits.

To tell you the truth, I was pretty excited to get my breasts back. I nursed my daughter until she was fifteen months old (and I was five months pregnant) and then nursed my son exclusively until his eventual weaning. According to my calculations, I haven’t nursed a baby in a year and a half. My breasts have shrunk back down to nearly the size they were before I started up with the whole pregnancy thing, but they’re still a little bigger…I don’t mind that.

So here is the funny thing: I still lactate. It’s not gushing out as it once was, but sometimes if I think about nursing or look at a picture of one of my kids when they were newborn, suddenly I’m leaking through my bra. I can still squeeze out milk from my breasts just like I could back when I was nourishing a baby. Isn’t that a little weird? I thought I would be all dried up by now, and I don’t mean that metaphorically.

It almost seems a waste to still have this ability, but with no baby to feed. I checked to see if one of the local hospitals accepts milk donations because I read about a program where women can donate breastmilk for preemies, but the nearest hospital to me with this sort of program is in another state. Every so often I’ll check to see if I’m still lactating and sure enough, I am. I just wonder when the time will come when my breasts decide to hang up their milk production hats.

Breastfeeding? Supplementing? Weaning?
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