As a general rule, I don’t like to travel, so I haven’t been through an airport in several years. And while I have flown with an infant before, this was different. When I flew with my son, he was only three months old, and he slept the whole way in this cool little bassinet they had attached to the bulkhead in front of me, my husband was with me, and it was a direct flight. This time, I was with a 14-month old, by myself with a layover in Atlanta. Talk about trial by fire. I looked up all the rules and made several phone calls. But there were several things I learned just by doing it. So if you are facing a plane flight with an infant anytime soon, here are some tips I wish I had known:

1. You can use a stroller in the airport, and leave it at the gate.

I knew ahead of time that I could check a stroller at the gate free of charge. But I didn’t do it, thinking that I wouldn’t see it again until I reached my final destination–and where I really wanted it was in the airport when I switched planes. Turns out, you do get it during the layover. As you go through the gate, there are crew members who whisk away things like strollers and wheelchairs while you are in the hallway leading from the gate to the plane. And they were right there waiting for the people in the corridor when we deboarded the plane. A word of caution though: if you will be going through a big airport on a tight schedule, it would be less convenient to hassle with the stroller, since you have to find an elevator, etc.

2. You can bring a bottle/cup with more than 4 ounces.

Security measures restrict the amount of fluids you can bring on a plane, but infant stuff is different. You can bring food and bottles or cups for your baby through security. Larger airports have a separate screening line for families. You just take it out of your bag and “declare” it. On the way there, I was worried about what I would do for my daughter as far as eating on the plane. On the way home, it was much easier!

3. You can bring a carry-on plus a diaper bag.

But on an airplane, less is more! I read that I could bring a diaper bag in addition to my carry on. It sounded great in theory. So on my way out to Ohio, I loaded the diaper bag up. But then I had to lug around a carry-on, a diaper bag backpack, plus a baby through the airport. And I didn’t use much of anything I brought with me. On the way home, I pared down. I chucked everything but the bare essentials:

• my wallet

• phone

• change of clothes for her

• socks for me

• three diapers

• some toys

• and dinner

–all in the backpack. It was so much easier!

4. Reserve your seats as soon as you book your flight.

For the way out, I booked my seats right away. But I was back by the bathroom and I wasn’t pleased about the location, so I decided to wait on booking seats for the return flight. I hoped maybe the gate agents could help me get closer to the front. BAD plan. I discovered on the way out that having a little elbow room (even if you’re over the wing or by the bathroom) was much more important than being close to the front. It’s not like you’re going to enjoy the view or the movie, anyway. On the way back, I got stuck in the middle of a row of three people, with a squirming, restless, napless 14-month old on my lap, for three hours. I couldn’t even get to the things in my carry-on. The people next to me were gracious, but it was still miserable, and there was nowhere to go.

5. Short layovers are good.

If I were flying with my husband, I would consider two or three hours perfect–not too short to be nervous about missing a connection if the first leg were delayed, but not so long that you start to get on each others’ nerves. But alone with a baby, I found my one-hour layover on the return flight ideal. I had enough time to comfortably get where I needed to go (even in huge Atlanta), and got to the gate as they were allowing the first people to board–and people with a baby get priority boarding. I didn’t have to worry about how to keep my daughter off the filthy airport floor for two hours. It was great!

If you plan a air travel with a baby anytime soon, I hope these discoveries are helpful!

Now that our daughter has passed the two year mark, things have gotten much easier. Sure, she still tests us every chance she gets to see just how far she can stretch her limits, but that’s typical toddler behavior. She eats better and is more willing to try new things, and she absorbs language and other skills like a sponge.

One thing that hasn’t gotten easier, however, is traveling with her. She doesn’t like to sit still for very long, so leaving the house is a challenge. She’ll willingly get into the car seat when we leave the house, but getting her in and out multiple times (such as when we’re running errands) can be difficult.

Here are some of the ways we’ve found to keep her happy while we’re traveling.

• Keep snacks handy. There’s nothing worse than a cranky, hungry toddler. We travel with finger foods. Snacks that are portable and easy to eat in the car, such as baggies or snack cups half filled with Cheerios or other snacks.

• Keep them hydrated. A sippy cup of juice or milk helps to keep her hydrated and happy for car rides.

• Keep them entertained. We keep a few toys around that are only played with in the car, and rotate them. This way, she always has something somewhat “new” to play with while she’s in the car seat.

• Keep it short. If you can, try to limit the amount of time they’re in the car. For longer trips, take breaks every hour or two to stretch out. We like to park the car at a park or other large, grassy area so our daughter can wander and play safely for a little while before getting back in the car.

• Keep them shaded. Use sunscreen, even when the sun isn’t out, to prevent sunburn. In addition, use a window shade or other screen on the window to keep the sunshine from being so bright and hot. We tuck a receiving blanket up into the window crack to form a curtain that blocks out most of the harsh sunlight.

• Expect the unexpected (and try to plan for it). The last time we traveled, our toddler caught a cold, which drastically changed our plans. While you can’t plan for everything, sick kids are a common reality. Be sure to pack the children’s medicines and any loveys or other items he or she finds comforting.

While a first-time labor and delivery usually lasts around many hours, sometimes, babies just decide that they are coming out. Now.

Babies are occasionally born on airplanes, on the subway, on the front lawn, and more often than you would think in a car on the way to hospital.

A mom in Cambridge, in the UK, delivered her baby in her local post office this week. She went in to top up her cell phone, and delivered a healthy baby girl before paramedics could arrive. The little girl weighed 5lbs 15oz. How do we know? Because the post master weighed her on the mail scale.

And then another new arrival made her debut on New York’s Fifth Avenue. The mom was being driven to hospital, and dang that midtown traffic, didn’t make it in time. She was expecting twin babies, and the first was born in the car outside Central Park. Paramedics made it to the scene in time to assist with the birth, and get the mother to the hospital where the second baby was delivered. The twin were born seven weeks prematurely and are expected to stay in hospital for a couple of weeks, common for preemies. One of the paramedics described the birth as “fun”. I can’t help but wonder if the mom felt the same way?

A lot of moms worry about going into labor and delivering their baby right there on the floor in the laundry detergent section at Target or in Jiffy Lube. But actually, births like these are very rare and being rare is what makes them newsworthy. The average first time labor lasts for hours, 8 to 24 hours is a normal range, with 16 hours being the average time from first contraction, to holding your baby. So almost all moms have plenty of time to get to the hospital or birthing center once labor starts.

Traveling with small children can be a challenge. Not only do you have to pack your own luggage, but also every item you think your child might possibly need while you’re away – and you’ll still inevitably forget something.

After traveling with each of our babies when they were infants, my husband and I came up with a system that helped us not only to not forget anything, but to make the entire experience a little less stressful.

• Make a list (and check it often!). I like to make a master list on the computer of all the baby essentials I will need for the road; I can then print out a copy each time I need it, and cross each item out with a pen when it is packed. The list should include diaper bag essentials, plus any extras you might need for a longer trip, such as additional bottles or toys.

• Plan ahead with bigger items. If traveling by plane, check with the airline on their baggage requirements; for example, can you check the car seat or stroller at the gate instead of when you check in, so that you can use it in the airport terminal?

• Check with your destination before packing large items. If you will be visiting family, do you need to pack the pack and play, or do they have a spare crib or travel crib that you can use? Is a stroller available? Having the items at your destination can save much needed space in your luggage.

• Will you be breast feeding during the trip? You might also want to pack a pump in case baby sleeps through a feeding or if his or her schedule is off. Bring an extra couple of sterilized bottles as well.

• When it doubt, pack it anyway. Sure, those extra outfits will take up more room, but if baby has a diaper blowout or if the weather is different from what is predicted, you’ll be glad to have the extra clothes for him or her.

• Stay organized. It is difficult to stay organized while traveling – especially with kids – but by keeping track of where things are, you can avoid extra stress and frustration.

Traveling with an infant can be difficult, but by planning ahead, you can make the trip a little easier on everyone.

]]> http://blogs.babiesonline.com/baby/traveling-with-an-infant/feed/ 1 http://blogs.babiesonline.com/pregnancy/parenting-solo-while-pregnant/ http://blogs.babiesonline.com/pregnancy/parenting-solo-while-pregnant/#comments Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:47:07 +0000 VaMomma http://blogs.babiesonline.com/?p=11047

My husband retired from the military after 22 years recently. I was thrilled for many reasons, but mostly because I thought he’d be home! No more lengthy separations due to work responsibilities. I never thought he’d land a civilian job which required him to travel extensively!

I am almost 24 weeks pregnant at this point and I feel myself slowing down. I suppose it’s because of a variety of things–my advanced maternal age, and the fact that I am a mother to 5 other children. It seems that my energy runs out faster than the daylight does. There are days when I really wish I could go sleep for a little bit and ask my husband to handle the parenting duties for a while, but I can’t. If you are in a similar situation, here are some things I’ve found that are helpful.

Pace Yourself
If I know that I have to be somewhere during the evening hours with the older children, this means that I have to somehow minimize morning activities and meetings. Otherwise, I just won’t be able to do it all.

Learn To Say No
This past weekend, I had to drive 1600 miles so my older children could see their father as per our court order. I couldn’t say no to that, but on Monday, when I was brutally tired, I had to re-schedule several meetings and other commitments. I had to say no.

Ask For Help
If you need help, ask! Of course, you may not have a support network to go to when you need help. I am thinking about my experiences as a military wife where you’ve just moved into a new community and your husband goes away. You may not know anyone to ask for help!

Expect The Children To Help
Even younger children are able to handle some tasks. The older children can handle other tasks. Even so, it may be necessary to lower your standards or to let some things go.

When I become discouraged as of late, I remind myself that pregnancy lasts for only 40 weeks. Until then, I keep doing the best I can do.

Last year, on New Year’s Eve, my family resolved to never travel at Christmas again. That lasted almost a year.

OK. Maybe I should be more specific. We drove 1700 miles one-way. Halfway there, we encountered icy roads and had to cancel a hotel reservation. Annoyed, we dealt with our online reservation system (who can withdraw funds immediately but take two weeks to refund them), and found a new place. Then, on the way back, the same thing happened again. But it was New Year’s Eve and we swore off holiday travel, knowing that flying would have been just as big a problem since the airports were canceling all their flights.

It was an easy resolution to keep since the holidays roll around only once a year. We almost made it all year without breaking the vow. But then Christmas came again. We justified the break by the fact that we were traveling west instead of east, and only 500 miles one way. And instead of being pregnant, we were dragging along an almost-nine month old baby.

That was the first mistake. A couple weeks prior, I tried to “train” her to sleep in other places by using a pack & play. Well, it was a nice sentiment, but she wasn’t buying it. So, for three nights, she barely slept at all, and I’m not exaggerating. Naps were a *little* better. I intended to catch up on a little shut-eye, but with family around that I don’t see often, I really just wanted to be with people. That was, after all, the reason we broke our old resolution. (And it didn’t help my ego that my husband’s cousin has a baby that is only 6 months old who sleeps 12 hours straight through every night! I know it’s an individual thing, but it still made me jealous.)

And then on the way home, we were going to caravan home with my in-laws who live in town with us. But my husband felt compelled to do some last-minute car maintenance, so they took off an hour ahead of us. Lucky for us, since they got turned around on the highway, 150 miles out of town… It wasn’t ice this time, but a rockslide caused by melted snow from the previous week’s winter storm. And in the mountains, there aren’t alternate routes. So they came back while we scoped out the options in town. The short story is that FOUR hours into the trip, we finally were able to leave town! And we still faced another 8 hours with a baby in the car.

All that to say, I REALLY mean it this time when I resolve never to travel again at Christmas. For that matter, maybe I’ll never travel again with a baby.

As a former military wife, I learned to deal with the fact that my husband was away from home quite frequently. After he retired, I somewhat expected him to get a local job and for him to be home more often. He was hired by a contractor and travels frequently out of state with his civilian job.

Our son is still young, but I wanted to make sure that he knew that his father was still “here” with us even if he wasn’t at home. At my son’s age, talking on the telephone really isn’t practical. Of course, when “Dee Dee” calls home, I make sure to hold the phone up to our son so he can hear his father’s voice. You should see his smile!

I decided to use some of the things that we learned during our family readiness sessions to help our son through the times when his dad is away with work.

1. Have your spouse or partner tape a bedtime story which you can play for your child at night time.
2. Keep a picture of the traveling parent in a central location or give your baby a wallet to play with that has laminated pictures tucked in the billfold.
3. Count down the days until the grand homecoming.
4. Talk about your spouse or partner during the day as you care for your child. For example, while dressing your child, you may mention that his father’s favorite color is blue. This way, you offer your child a way to connect to the parent who is not present.
5. Celebrate homecoming day! When your partner returns home, make it a special occasion for everyone. Remember to include your child in the festivities.

Do you have a partner that travels frequently? Please share any tips or ideas that you use to help your child deal with the situation.

Many of us live miles away from our extended families. My mother and siblings live thousands of miles away in another continent. This is the price we have to pay for being expats.

So it is with a heavy heart that I embarked on this journey across the world today – to a mother who is seriously ill but leaving my family – 2 young children and a husband – behind.

In a way, travelling is easy. I had only 1 small piece of check-in luggage, and I only have my laptop bag and hand bag to hand-carry. No backpacks with spare clothes, activity books, or snacks. I didn’t have to worry about little boys having to go to the toilet, getting enough to drink and to eat. A little girl threw up on the first leg of the long flight. I gave the harried mom a sympathetic look. It could have been me.

I could enjoy the on-board entertainment without interruption. I could watch whatever film I wanted without worrying about age-appropriateness. I could work on my computer, as what I am doing now, sitting in an isolated corner of the Doha International Airport. I have electric power and free Internet access. What more could I ask? Or I could go duty-free shopping.

Except that I am worried about my children I left behind in Switzerland and the ailing mother waiting for me.

Talk about feeling torn. I feel like I am suspended in time, midway from everywhere, trapped in my itinerary, going from one time zone to another – and still another one coming up. The only connections I have to the rest of the world – and my family – are my cell phone and the Internet. Every little kid I see reminds me of what I’ve left behind. Every old woman I see reminds of the parent who needs me. I am both a daughter and a mother. Can I fulfil the duties required of both roles?

Life is full of tough choices and it is our bound duty to make them for the sake of our families.

Excuse me, my connecting flight is boarding.

Something that preys on many pregnant moms’ minds… what if I go into labor somewhere remote? Or in a traffic jam? Or on an airplane?

Going into labor on a plane is unusual, mostly because airlines restrict when pregnant women can fly.

Airlines generally don’t let women fly in their third trimester without a doctors letter, and don’t allow pregnant women to fly in their last month or two. And before the last month, airline check-in staff can refuse to let you board the plane for medical reasons, so if you are visibly pregnant and flying, it’s best to check to have a letter from your doctor just in case you encounter an over-zealous check-in agent.

Several premature babies have been born on airplanes, including little Pawan Deep Kaur, born six weeks early on a flight from Hong Kong to Adelaide, last week. Luckily for mom, who was traveling by herself to meet her husband in Australia, there was not just one, but three doctors on board to assist with the birth. Pawan Deep means “ocean air”.

Last year, a British mom gave birth at just 25 weeks in the skies over Germany on a plane bound for Greece. Baby Alfie weighed just over 1 lb and after an emergency landing in London, and several months in the NICU, he’s doing well.

Which leads to an interesting question. A baby born in German airspace, to British parents on a flight to Greece – what nationality does he have?

Actually, there’s a UN ruling that babies born on international flights, and on ships sailing in international waters, the baby receives the nationality of the country in which the airplane was registered in. So Alfie is a British citizen. But if he was born on a Greek plane, he’d have dual British/Greek citizenship.

There was excitement for Pawan Deep Kaur in Australia after his birth – have you heard the rumor that babies born on airplanes receive free travel for the rest of their lives? Turns out that’s just a rumor. You can imagine that some people might be booking flights near their due dates just in case they can score junior a lifetime of free tickets….

A Snopes.com article has two actual incidences of babies born on airplanes being given free rides, and a little more down to earth – a baby born on a BART subway train in San Francisco also reviced a lifetime pass for free rides on BART trains.

Just released from the American Academy of Pediatrics: travel tips for little kids. All I can say is: THANK YOU!!!!!!!

I suppose if my family bopped in and out of airports every other month, I might figure out some of these on my own. But we don’t travel very much so I’m not a seasoned pro. That makes the trips we DO take so much more meaningful, and in some ways, it raises the stakes. When we take one trip every other year we want it to be good.

The following ideas were compiled by the AAP from their own literature as well as the Transportation Security Administration, Federal Aviation Administration and the Centers for Disease Control.

A few of my favorites are summarized below. Happy Trails to You!

Driving

- Of course, follow all car seat laws. Better yet, follow all of the suggestions (which are more stringent). That means:

• facing year until one year AND 20 pounds.
• in a belt-positioning booster until 4′9′ in height.
• in the back seat until age 13.
• Plan to stop every two hours (This one is difficult for me. I get so impatient?)
• Bring lots of toys and CDs and snacks for the trip.

Flying

• It takes longer to go through security with children. Leave early, and make sure the kids know someone will be handling their things.
• Let older kids know that it’s not a funny joke to say, ‘My dad has a bomb in his bag.’
• Buy your child under 2 his own ticket and strap him into his carseat. You’ll both be happier.
• For once, you can let the kids blow bubbles through the straw-it helps pop their ears.

Going overseas

• Make sure everyone’s vaccines are up-to-date.
• Start adjusting for jet lag a few days before you leave.

Anyone who has spent any time in the car with a toddler knows what a challenge it can be. Time it wrong and you can be faced with any number of melt downs – from the needs-a-nap tantrum to the hungry-and-yet-refuses-food fit. Fortunately, there are some ways that you can prevent – or at least cope – with these difficult times and make a car ride more enjoyable for everyone.

Following are five ways to keep a toddler entertained and happy during a trip in the car.

Time it right. If you’re planning a long trip, try to time it around (or during) nap time or times when you know your child is more active. We discovered that, with our daughter, if we leave before the crack of dawn in the morning for a five-hour trip, she will usually only wake up once or twice during the drive, and will wake up happier once we reach our destination.

Bring food. Be sure to bring snacks and juice or water along for your little one, including a bottle or other car-friendly fare. Don’t forget to bring a bottle or two of water – both for your toddler and for you.

Be silly. Don’t be afraid to get goofy. Sing along to the music with your kids, or even make up silly lyrics to go along with a favorite song (such as re-writing the words to a favorite lullaby or nursery rhyme). If you’re in the passenger seat, turn around and make silly faces at your child.

Bring along a surprise. Be sure to tuck away a special toy in the car that your toddler either hasn’t seen in a while or that is new to him or her – he or she will be much more likely to play with it and be amused longer if it’s something that’s not old and tiresome.

Roll with it. No matter what happens, be flexible. If your child needs to stop yet again for a potty break or a diaper change, go with it. Both your toddler and you will be happier that way, and the trip will be much more pleasant.

Anyone who has traveled by air since 9-11, knows about the increased security measures before entering the boarding area for flight travel.

Going through the security lanes can be difficult, even for the seasoned traveler, traveling alone. From needing to place all toiletries and cosmetics in sizes no greater than 3 ounces. in carry-ons in quart-sized zip-lock bags (the 3-1-1 rule), to having to remove your shoes, to needing to “declare” any snacks and beverages (including expressed breast milk) for babies and children, and needing to remove electronics such as laptops and camcorders from the bags is a hassle. Add to that needing the stroller and carseat when traveling with children, and there’s a whole new dimension to a potentially unpleasant travel experience. Families become a nuisance to business travelers, and those same families, often feel the sting of stares as you inevitably hold up the line with collapsing the stroller and dealing with all of the gear.

Finally getting it right!

In an effort to streamline the process of flight travel, the TSA announced that it is creating different lanes for the different travel skill-levels and needs of passengers. In March, the TSA started the Diamond Self-Select program, where passengers who are familiar with security check-in protocol (such as removing outer garments like coats, removing shoes and belts, placing toiletries and electronics in the bins, and removing change and metal items from pockets), to have a veritable fast lane. Designed after expertise trails at ski slopes, the Diamond Self Select (sometimes called Back-Diamond Select) programs premiered at Salt Lake City International and Denver International Airports. The Self-Select program includes:

“Expert, for the business traveler who flies several times a month; Casual, for passengers that travel less frequently, but are familiar with the security process; and Family/Special Assistance, for passengers traveling with small children or strollers, elderly passengers and passengers who may need special assistance.”

According to MSN’s the Middle Seat, in an article originally published in the Wall Street Journal:

“Putting families and people with special needs like wheelchairs into separate lanes allows them to relax a bit without road warriors pushing them to move faster. As a result, they set off fewer ‘nuisance alarms’ because they prepare better and get metal, shoes and liquids properly into X-ray bins. The family lanes move slower than lanes moved before the change, on average, but many families seem to like the pace.”

Since March, when the program was initiated at Salt Lake City International and Denver International Airports, other airports around the country have added the program including Chicago’s Midway, Boston’s Logan Airport, Orlando, Florida and Spokane, Washington. Most recent additions include Pittsburgh International Airport, Dallas Love Field, and there are rumors of the program starting later in June at Detroit Metro Airport. Maybe your city will be next. Security changes such as the Diamond Self-Select program, may get some family travelers to return to the skies this summer.

Just when you think life is going to get easier because the kids are out of their nappies, comes the next challenge – finding a bathroom every time the little one needs to go – which is about every 10 meters or every 5 minutes. And there’s no use telling him/her to wait. At this age, bladder control is not yet fully developed.

In my case, it was two little almost 3-year old twin boys asking to go all the time. There were times when I was really tempted to put their nappies back on – except that they refused point blank. “We’re big boys now, Mommy. You said so.”

This problem, of course, can put a damper on travelling plans even if only to the supermarket. But don’t worry, this phase is transitory and will be over before you know it. Here are some survival tips:

Have a bathroom directory in your head. Like having a built-in GPS, a mom or dad should know exactly where the closest bathroom is, and how fast one can go from point to point, with or without a push chair.

Make kids go even if they don’t have/want to. As soon as you see a bathroom in sight, you shout “let’s do it!” despite the little one’s protest. I suppose psyschologists will have a lot of things to say about forcing kids to go. I had the problem of having 2 boys who never seemed to want to go at the same time. And one is always complaining about being dragged to the bathroom without wanting to go – only to ask to go 5 minutes later. I say, be opportunistic and make use what is within your reach. It’s a matter of survival.

Be flexible – and be creative. What happens when there is no bathroom in sight? Sometimes we have to resort to drastic measures that may not necessarily be hygienic. I say, the bushes should do in times of emergency. Or anything, just to keep the kids from wetting themselves and making a mess. My sister-in-law’s girl needed to go urgently and there were 10 ladies lined up in front of them. Nobody offered to let the little girl go first so her mom placed her over the bathroom sink. Of course, she cleaned up the place afterwards. Once in an airport, I was pushing a cart laden with luggage plus 2 boys and there was just no way we could find a bathroom in time. The rubbish bin had to do that time.

Teach the kids the road signs. The big letter “P” sign on the motorway means parking. For my boys, it means “pee” literally. They were trained to ask themselves when they see this sign “do I need to go?”

Have some spare clothes all the time. And a plastic bag for anything that gets wet. Even with their newly found independence – “I need to go but I can wait” – accidents still happeneded to my 4-year olds.

But then it’s over before you know it. My boys are now 5 and feel old enough to go to the bathroom without Mommy. “I know where it is and I can go alone.”

And then they’d be scornful about little ones still in nappies and laugh their heads off about their Mommy’s bathroom tales. And then you’d be asking yourself “what was all that stress for anyway?”

Summer vacation season – Memorial Day to Labor Day – is officially here. Yippee!!! Taking your baby on vacation is a whole new experience for baby and parents. It’s a lot of fun for baby, seeing all the new sites, and it’s fun – and often a little stressful – for mom and dad. Hotels can be dangerous places for babies, so here’s a few tips for staying in a hotel safely with your baby.

Cribs. Most hotels can supply a crib. The crib may not be what you expect. In a recent study of cribs in hotels, a shocking 80% of hotel cribs did not meet current safety standards. More had been recalled, but the hotel was still using them. You might also be offered a filthy mattress and ill-fitting sheets to go on it. I got the chance to stay a night in a four-star hotel with my son, and was offered a crib that looked like it came from a Romanian orphanage.

Call the hotel in advance, and inquire about the state of their cribs. If they can’t give you peace of mind that your baby will be sleeping in something safe, bring your own.

A pack-n-play or portable crib might be a pain to tote along, but it’s better to know your baby will be sleeping in something safe. Or, have baby sleep in bed with you, if you are comfortable doing that.

Room Safety. If your baby is on the move, check out the hotel room for dangers. Some parents bring outlet covers with them. Watch for TVs on the edge of shelves, and furniture that might topple over.

Balcony Safety. Babies can fall through the rails on most hotel balconies. I won’t stay in a balcony room with my son, but I’m paranoid. Whatever you do, never leave a child unattended on a balcony. And the same goes for a room with open windows.

The first vacation with your baby is something you’ll always remember. Keep safety in the back of your mind, and you should have a wonderful vacation.

Within two years of graduating from college, I got married, and had my first child. Three more children followed quickly after and by the time I was 30, I had 4 children. I don’t for a minute regret having my children,(as opposed to the regret I have about marrying my ex), but the reality is that I didn’t have a whole lot of time to do a lot of living before I began parenting. I divorced in my mid-30’s and began all over again with my wonderful dear husband. Being a single, working, homeschooling mom to 4 kids during the interim between divorce and remarriage, I spent way too much energy and money just surviving. I didn’t even think of creating ‘fun to do lists.’

My grandmother encourages me often to look beyond my life now and to think of things I want for myself and for my husband after we emerge from the parenting portion of our lives. Sometimes, when the sleepless nights after our baby’s birth seemed to stretch on for eternity, we talked about our list. You know, the ‘things we need to do after we’re done raising kids but before we die- list.

That’s right, my husband and I are creating our very own 1000 things we need to do before we die list. I’ll share our top 10 with you:

1. Drive across the USA on a motorcycle
2. See the Great Wall of China
3. Swim in the clear, blue ocean off the coast of Australia and visit New Zealand, where my grandfather was stationed during WWII!
4. Visit Yorkshire, England, where my family is from
5. Look for Godzilla in Japan
6. Explore Jerusalem
7. See the wonders in Rome and Greece
8. Go 4-wheeling in the Alaskan countryside during summer
9. Visit Sicily, where DH’s family is from
10. Meet my pen pal in Gomel, Belarus(near Chernobyl)

Writing a “bucket list” is a new trend, inspired by the movie of the same name. In theory, you’re supposed to list a number of things you want to do before you die (ie, kick the bucket.) Here at Babies Online, a number of bloggers are writing “bucket lists” of things women should do before they get pregnant. Bucket lists can be personal and in some cases even private, but seeing as I’m 17 weeks pregnant at the moment, it would be silly to harp on things I wish I did before I got pregnant. Instead, I’ve opted to share my ‘modified bucket list’ of things I’m happy I did before I got pregnant.

• Visited more than half the states in the U.S.
• Traveled to two different continents.
• Fit into size 0 jeans (it was a long time ago!)
• Played Paintball
• Played Paintball in a tank
• Shot a rifle
• Tried scuba diving (not for me, I’ll stick to shooting things)
• Ran a Ropes Course and rode a zip line
• Bicycled 60 miles in one trip
• Got a tattoo
• Lived alone

Enjoyed five years of marriage with my husband, kid-free!

Did I love everything on my list? No. I especially hated living alone, which I did for less than a year. I also discovered, after two weeks of lessons, that scuba diving isn’t for me. Bicycling, however, is, and we are already shopping for a child carrier to put on hubby?s bike as soon as the baby is old enough. (I can barely keep up with him as it is, so we already decided he would carry the baby on the bike).
There are a few things on the list, however, that I feel are suitable for everyone. Take some time to be by yourself, even if you hate it. Take some time?whether it?s a few months or years?just for you and hubby, too. If you?re going for a honeymoon baby, be certain that you?ve had enough time living *like a married couple while you were dating and engaged. How much time is enough? That?s up to you.

My husband and I waited for five years, but that’s probably a bit long for some people (and too short for others). One day late last summer, we decided we’d satiated our desire for unique adventures as a couple and were finally ready to have kids.

Notice that I didn’t say “settle down and have kids.” One of our goals is to instill our love of adventure and the unusual in our children, as well. We respect that they may not enjoy everything we enjoy–and may even pick unusual hobbies of their own–but we hope to teach them that it’s okay to try everything once. (Well, as long as you follow all the safety rules associated with whatever you’re doing!)

Sometimes travel is unavoidable during pregnancy – you have an out of town meeting you must attend or a family obligation that you just can’t get out of. I did a lot of traveling during my pregnancy, including a trip overseas. I found that while there were safety issues to consider, traveling during pregnancy was generally safe for both me and my baby. However, there are some considerations to keep in mind to stay safe and comfortable during your travels.First, talk to your doctor. Make sure that he or she approves your travels in the first place – especially if your pregnancy has been high risk or if you will be traveling toward the end of your third trimester. He or she might have a good reason to keep you home. Also, obtain a copy of your medical records, and if you are traveling during the third trimester – a doctor’s note that approves your travel. There are some airlines that won’t allow pregnant women past 34 weeks to fly; if you are traveling by air, make sure to check with your airline or travel agent well ahead of your travels to make sure that you can go.

Second, consider the timing of your trip. The first and second trimester are generally the easiest and most comfortable times for pregnant women. Your belly isn’t as big as it is in the third trimester and any morning sickness you might have experienced has probably eased up. If you have a say in the matter, try to arrange your trip to take place toward the end of your first trimester or anytime during your second trimester.

While you are away, dress comfortably (but still appropriately). Wear flats instead of heels, and forget anything too binding or constricting, especially around your middle. Don’t hesitate to buy maternity clothes early in your pregnancy, especially before you truly ‘look’ pregnant ? you’ll feel pregnant, and maternity clothes can be much more comfortable than non-maternity wear.

Be sure to drink plenty of fluids. One of the most important things you can do is to stay hydrated; dehydration can bring on preterm labor and make you feel even more tired than you might already be feeling. Always have a bottle of water or juice on hand, and drink up.

While you’re staying hydrated, you might also find that you need to use the bathroom more often. Get up, walk around and use the bathroom whenever the need hits.

Traveling during pregnancy can sometimes be difficult, but with these considerations in mind, you can have a safe and a healthy trip. Bon voyage!

Toddler looks supremely worried to see two exuberant people with manic grins bearing down on him. It’s OK, I tell him, this is your Grandma and Granddad. They haven’t seen you for six months.

We’ve just got off the train to see my in-laws. They have come to the train station to meet us, and Toddler clearly doesn’t recognize them. Six months is a long time when you are not even two yet. Hugs and kisses are exchanged. Toddler has the expression of one who thinks all adults are seriously and worryingly weird, and clings onto my neck. I might be considered weird, but better the devil you know.

When we get to the Grandparent’s house, Toddler starts to look happier. They’ve laid on everything a toddler could possibly want, such as an almost completely un-childproofed house and lots of candy. They’ve also got him some lovely toys, but Toddler starts eyeing the fragile tchotchkies displayed at his eye level. Please don’t touch those, I say. So Toddler heads for the stairs. Stay down here and say hello to Grandma and Granddad, I say. Toddler has seen the candy. Toddler will do anything for candy, including sit on the laps of the weird, so everyone starts to get reacquainted.

The Grandparents have planned lots of excursions for Toddler. Toddler is jet lagged and really would prefer to chill out, which to a toddler means using Grandma’s porcelain shepherdesses as truck drivers, eating candy, and jumping in the muddy puddles in the backyard and eating candy. But muddy puddles do not provide good grandchild bragging stories to tell Grandparents friends, and the lifeblood of the Grandparent is to tell other grandparents how wonderful their grandchild is and how much fun they had when the grandchild visited them. If their grandparent friends took their grandchild to the zoo and the park and the mall, then they have to take theirs to the zoo and the park and the mall and the aquarium and buy them a hat shaped like a fish.

Grandparents exist to spoil their grandchildren. My in-laws have hardly seen our son since he was born so I can’t blame them at all for wanting to spoil him, and make the few days they have as perfect as they can. A few days of candy after every meal isn’t going to do him any harm, I tell myself, and hope fervently he’ll forget and not demand it at home. Toddlers love being out and about and Toddler had a lot of fun on all the outings, even if there was a little overtired grumpiness, and even though he would rather stomp in the zoo’s muddy puddles than pose for photos looking at the zebra.

We had an exhausting few days, but Toddler was very happy and so were the Grandparents, and Toddler decided Grandma and Granddad weren’t weirdos, and was very fond of them by the time we left, so all’s well.

Did he forget and not demand candy at home? Not a chance. Toddler’s memory may not be six months yet but it’s long enough to remember chocolate for breakfast a few days ago. At least Toddler decided to throw the fish hat in a particularly muddy puddle, so we could toss it in good consciousness.

Say what?

Conceptionmoons (conception honeymoons) are big these days. Couples are encouraged to take trips to relax and time these with the woman’s fertile period. This is a great idea for those who are already trying to conceive but don’t want to commit to the whole fertility workup just yet… or those who have been undergoing fertility treatments for so long and want a break from the needles.

It can just be a weekend in the country or a beach getaway to enjoy some sun and a lot of fresh air. It can be the perfect time to return to bird watching or stargazing. It can even be the perfect time to try new things, like bungee jumping or white-water rafting. It may sound weird but adrenaline rush actually makes people more libidinal, maybe because they get to scream and sweat the stress off their bodies. At least, making love would not seem like the chore it has been for the many months that you’ve been trying.

And I’m sure you’ll agree, we all need a break from work anyway!

Maybe you’d want to take it a step further. If you’re willing to try anything, why not time these conceptionmoons with fertility festivals? The Hounen Matsuri Festival in Japan happens every March. Squeeze in a trip to the wonderful Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium and learn about dolphins there or get made-up like a geisha and have wonderful pictures taken.

Or maybe it’s really wonderful beaches and surfing that appeal to you. The Obando Festival in the Philippines happens every May 17-19. Maybe you can spend several days first in Palawan or Davao (or even popular Boracay) to destress before attending the festival and dancing in the street with the many believers who have been blessed with, or are asking for, a child. These things are not going to hurt (well, maybe your pocket) but will be enriching experiences to bond you closer with your partner and lead you both to reflect on why you really want to have kids.

Laugh, swim, frolic the stress away. Let the sun do you good. And in the event that you don’t get pregnant during your vacation, at least you are now refreshed for more of the workups and you got a much needed break away from it all.

Seriously, there’s no better reason to travel… especially since traveling may take a backseat for awhile when you do get pregnant or when there’s already a baby.

My husband and I are British, and we live in the Midwestern US with our toddler. All our families, including the in-laws, are back home in Britain, 3000 miles away. Is that a good thing, or a bad thing? I’m not sure.

I have friends who’s entire family, and all the in-laws, live in a 50-mile radius. So convenient if you need a baby sitter, but perhaps too convenient for the in-laws to pop by whenever they please. So is having family close a good thing, or a bad thing? I’m not so sure about that either.

Currently, visiting family involves a long-haul flight with a small, grumpy passenger who enjoyed the first 15 seconds of the flight but now wants to do something else. Whizz around all the grannies, grandads, great-grannies, aunties etc who all have to see toddler since he’s the only baby in the whole family, and do long-haul flight back home. It’s a bit stressful.

And them visiting? My family visits for a week or two, every few months, that’s perfect. But my in-laws come once a year, and stay for a . I like my in-laws, they are very nice people, but after a while, with a month of in-laws yawning before me, I start wishing cockroaches would invade my house so they would just go home. But the bonus of that is, 11 straight months of no in-laws whatsoever, and no chance of them popping by for a coffee and staying all afternoon and making acerbic comments about the play-dough squished onto the couch or the toddler’s goldfish-only or banana-only or whatever it is this week diet.

I think I really wish my family was closer. I’d deal with my in-laws because I miss my mom, and my family, and it would make my husband happier, and we’d have people if there was an emergency, and our son would see more of his grandparents, who all adore him, and that’s what makes me most sad about living so far away.

I’m not sad this week, because in a few days off to Britain to see our families. One week of intense grandma and grandad and toddler fun, and mom and dad can sleep late, and toddler will be stuffed full of chocolate and be pushed on the swings far longer than mom’s stamina ever could, and be allowed to jump on the bed, and do all the stuff he can’t do at home. Yay!