How many times have you found yourself repeating a request to your toddler over and over again, wondering to yourself if your toddler can even hear you? There were so many times when I would ask my toddler to do something and then wind up convinced that he must have a hearing problem because he would either do something different from what I asked or he would ignore my request altogether. It would usually go a little something like this:

Me: “Sweetie, will you please go into your room and grab your shoes so we can get going?”

(silence)

Me: “Sweetie, Mommy asked you to go into your room and grab your shoes. We have to get going.”

(silence)

Me: “Son! We have to go! Where are your shoes? Why aren’t you listening to Mommy?”

Sound familiar? This can be frustrating beyond belief, especially if you are in a hurry and also you happen to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your toddler’s hearing because you had it tested by a professional audiologist. Or, at least, that’s what I did. At any rate, I knew that he could hear me.

Am I Doing Something Wrong?

It wasn’t until I talked to a professional child psychologist that I found out that the problem wasn’t with my toddler, it was with me. My approach was wrong, so he truly couldn’t do what I was asking him to do. Apparently, toddlers process information differently than we do as adults. When I barraged him with a lengthy request, he literally could not process everything I asked him to do and therefore he just purged the whole thing.

The child psychologist taught me a thing or two about how to phrase a request to a toddler in order to make it possible for the child to listen and respond.

How to Talk to a Toddler

• Make it a command. Don’t ask your toddler if he wants to get his shoes on. Instead, tell him to get his shoes on.

• Keep it simple. Don’t give a lengthy explanation of why he needs to do what you ask him. Instead, keep the request simple so there is not too much information to process.

• Be polite. Don’t bark the command, but instead be respectful without pleading.

So instead of  “Sweetie, will you please go into your room and grab your shoes so we can get going?” it should be “Abram, please get your shoes on.” I now know to give him a few seconds to process the request and to react to my command. If he doesn’t respond, I give the same request and wait a few seconds again. If he still doesn’t respond, he’s met with a calm, “Abram, please get your shoes on or time out.”

Ever since I started using these tactics I have had more success getting my toddler to cooperate. I know it is contrary to what we’re taught as parents; I can’t be the only mom out there who has been narrating activities with a long winded monologue all day long because I was told to talk to my baby as much as possible. Sometimes, however, simplifying things can make a huge impact on how compliant your toddler will be.

I’m sure I’m not the first parent to battle an insistent, strong-willed, soon-to-be toddler over diaper and outfit changes. My husband walked into the bedroom the other night asking, “Why is she crying like that?”

I held up a finger covered in Boudreax’s Butt Paste, using my other hand to grab two flailing legs, and with my third hand… wait, there’s the problem. My daughter proceeded to spread diaper cream on her ankles, knees, and toes (everywhere except her butt basically), as I said, “I’m changing her.” My tone suggested this was explanation enough.

“So?” my husband asked, raising an eyebrow. “Does she do that every time you change her?”

I stopped, looking up from the tangle of arms and legs. “You mean she DOESN”T act this way for you?”

“No,” my husband answered. “Don’t you give her a shoe?”

“What?”

My husband grabbed a size 2 Old Navy Tennis shoe off the floor and said, “You just have to give her a shoe.” Our daughter took the shoe, smiled, placed it in her mouth, and I continued with the diapering. Easy as tying a shoelace.

But when the shoe trick gets, well, as boring as an old shoe, what else can the parent of a toddler do to make changing time go easier?

Keep all supplies well stocked. This is good advice regardless of your baby’s age — you don’t want to have to go running around the house looking for a diaper with baby on the changing table. But with a toddler, you only have one chance to change each diaper before you have a naked baby streaking through the house, so you better get it right!

Keep messy objects out of reach. As soon as your little bundle figures out how to open the cap on the diaper cream, get it out of there.  (Fortunately, I didn’t have to learn this one from experience!) Remove from reach anything you don’t want your toddler grabbing for; this frees up your hands for the important tasks — holding baby down, wiping, fastening diaper tabs.

Keep toys within reach. Whether it’s a shoe, a lovey or a favorite teething ring, giving your child a toy may keep them occupied during changing. In fact, the mobile that you can’t use in the crib anymore because your on-the-go baby uses it to pull up on works great above the changing table, where baby can watch her favorite, familiar characters go round-and-round. Just make sure it’s out of reach or it becomes just another thing baby can grab and use as a weapon, er, object to pull up on.

That strap on the changing table? It actually has a purpose. I have a confession. The first time I placed the changing table pad on the changing table, I thought the straps were designed to go under the pad, securing it to the table. Now I know better!

Although experts recommend always strapping your baby down, it doesn’t become mandatory, from a practical standpoint, until your child begins rolling. Using the restraint signals to a squirming toddler that it’s time to be still, just like in the car seat. My husband (who is, apparently, the diaper-changing pro) strapped down our daughter for changing time the other day, and it actually made the process much easier.

When all else fails…  Use the Amazing Standing Diaper Change. I read this post by Brit several months ago and never forgot it. While my husband’s the diaper changing pro, I almost have this move mastered. Let baby stand up, occupied and playing with whatever toy they like, while you quickly remove old diaper (yes, even if it’s dirty), wipe baby, and put on new diaper. Experienced mom Brit makes it sound so easy but, really, it truly is easier than getting an uncooperative toddler to lie down for a diaper change.

My daughter started preschool a few weeks ago.  Yes Moms and Dads, the years do fly by that quickly.  The first day, my 2 year-old didn’t even bat an eyelash as we left her playing with the myriad of toys that her teacher laid out.   We breathed a sigh of relief but her teacher cautioned us that kids her age usually start being tearful on the second day, once she’s learned that she will be left there by her parents.  And it was true.  M. spent her next few classes crying “on and off” according to her teachers. We took this to mean she cried all day (well, 1/2 day, as shes’ only there for 3 hours). Here is what we would do differently and what are we doing now.

Easing the Transition to Preschool

• Visit the classroom before your child begins. This allows your child to meet other children, and feel familiar with the surroundings without the stress of leaving them.  Make several visits.  Point out their teacher and have them learn their teacher’s names.  Introduce them to at least one other child they look to be compatible with. This can greatly reduce the separation anxiety many children feel on the first day of school. I only made one pre-visit  and I wished I had made more.  Of course, make sure that the visits are okay with the teacher first.

• Make school an upbeat topic. Don’t add to your child’s stress by falling apart thinking how much you’ll miss her and join her in her tears.  Point out all the things she’ll be learning.  I keep telling my daughter that school will help her grow smarter.  I also point out all the friends she’ll make.  For now, she tells me that “I don’t want to play with the kids!”…but I’ve  been assured that her attitude will change.

• Say good-bye and tell him you’ll be back. Don’t sneak away as this can really traumatize your child.  When you promise you’ll be back and you do come back, he will gradually learn that it’s okay to be left there, and okay to have fun, because Mommy and Daddy will return.

• Don’t sneak back in. You’ll then have to start all over again with the tears, the good-byes, etc.  Let them finish the day and only come back if the school asks you to return.

• Let them have their comfort object at school. This particularly stressful time is not the time to try to wean them from their security items – a paci, a patch of their blankie, or a favorite doll.  Unless the school has a  policy of no bringing toys from home, let her have something comfortable to hold on to at school.  My daughter keeps her Boo doll from Monsters, Inc.

Most important of all, stay the course.

It’s hard to send your child off when they’re not so willing to go to school, but remember all the reasons you sent them there in the first place.  Ideally, you’re sending them to a school with a good reputation, and you’ve done your homework in that regard.  Now it’s time to recall why preschool is good for them.  For my daughter, she is an only child, with no cousins nearby, and I wanted to make sure she is well-socialized.  We already went to gym class and dance class together, but I felt she needed more exposure to other children.  The extra hours in the two 1/2 days she goes also affords me time to work out, and pursue other non-toddler related interests.  Hopefully, in a few weeks, I can report a child who’s eager to go to school.

The swine flu has claimed its first fatal victim in the US - a 23-month old baby in Texas. The current official CDC count of confirmed cases in the US is 91 in 10 states.

The earliest confirmed case of swine flu in Mexico, referred by doctors a patient “zero”, is a 5-year old boy in a Mexican pig farm. He survived the virus. The World Health Organization has declared a level 4 pandemic status, meaning that the risk of human-to-human transmission is high. Several schools in New York and Texas have been closed. In addition, the CDC states that two groups of people highly susceptible are children and pregnant women and the agency has issued “new interim guidance for clinicians on how to care for children and pregnant women who may be infected with this virus.”

Which is why the first thing I did this morning was go to the pharmacy and buy a box of surgical masks (100 pcs per box) and a bottle of disinfectant. But I tell you, I was embarrassed and felt foolish while doing this. I haven’t even informed my husband about what I did. I told the pharmacist that we are going to Spain on holidays “soon” so I’d better be prepared. This is actually a white lie because the trip isn’t till early June. But why do I feel this need to justify my actions?

I guess I’ve always prided myself as being a rational person who is not prone to panic based on news headlines. However, as a mother, rationality sometimes flies out of the window when I hear little babies get sick and die of epidemics.

I am not sure whether the masks and the disinfectant can protect my family from swine flu but it is the best I can do. What I also do is regularly keep up with official updates. And to be fair, I also have read what the other side – the conspiracy theorists – has to say (and what they have to say is shocking). Even with my scientific training, it is not easy to know the truth from the lies in this case. However, what I pay attention to are the figures and the numbers and what I am convinced of is that children are highly vulnerable. I guess for now I will let my maternal instincts rule over my rational self. So don’t be surprised if you hear that I am stockpiling food in our cellar.

So how are you reacting to the swine flu epidemic news? What are you doing to prepare and protect your family?

We live in a large city near the beach in the southern US.  Crime isn’t rampant, but it does happen.  I have to admit that as my pregnancy progresses, I worry a little bit about my personal safety, especially since my husband is away with business a lot.

I am very aware of the fact that I move a little bit slower than usual, and that I waddle.  My large midsection screams to the world that I am with child. I feel very vulnerable I have to admit.

Today, I was coming out of Walmart and a lady approached me and told me she didn’t want to hurt me.  I immediately put my toddler in the van, got in and shut the door.  She came to the window and told me she was a recovering drug addict and wanted a ride to the clinic where she could get some methadone.  It was just a few blocks away she said.

On the chance that her story was really for real, and also so she knew I could call for help,  I got out my cell phone.  I told her that I’d call someone to take her or I’d pay for her to get a cab.  She said no, she wanted me to give her a ride.  With that, I drove off, leaving her standing there.  I also called the manager at the Walmart too.  Better safe than sorry.

I don’t really like to fixate on the negative, but today’s experience jolted me a little bit.  Do you worry about personal safety more when you are pregnant, or when you are out with your infant? What steps do you take to make sure that you and your family are safe during outings?

I’ll never forget the moment when I was absolutely sure that I just couldn’t keep going as a mom.  My two year old was having a fitful sleep and kept waking me up with her yelps from the nightmares she was having.  My newborn was sleeping in the bed with me because it was the only way we could get him to sleep.  My husband was asleep downstairs because he couldn’t handle getting woken up several times an hour, so I was left to deal with it all on my own.

My son woke up crying, so I woke up and discovered that his diaper had leaked all over us, so both him and I were covered with pee.  The bed was soaked but I didn’t have the gumption to get up and get new sheets because I was exhausted.  It then hit me that I was completely willing to sleep in a puddle of pee because I didn’t have the energy to go get new sheets, so I started crying right along with my son.  I held him and cried, and figured that if there was a breaking point for moms then it probably looked a little something like this: a sobbing mom sitting in a puddle of pee with a crying newborn.

Ah, memories.

If you’re a new parent then you can expect to have moments like this.  You might not wind up in the exact same situation – I really hope you don’t, by the way – but it could be any number of things.  I had one friend who absolutely lost it on her father-in-law when he ate the last banana in the house that was supposed to be for her baby’s breakfast.  I had another friend who called me sobbing in a panic because she just couldn’t stand looking at the walls in her house anymore, yet couldn’t fathom gathering her twin boys into the car to leave.  A few years later, all of us are competent moms who only break down sobbing once in a great while, and usually because our kids do something so moving that we cry from good emotions.

The point is that you can get through the really tough times with your baby.  Yes, there will be times when you are so exhausted and so emotional that you feel like you simply can’t do anything other than stay in bed and cry, but try to keep it all in perspective.  You’re tired, you’re hormonal, and chances are you’re a little overwhelmed by the thought of being responsible for another life.  It’s no wonder we all crack once in a while.

You can do it.  Trust me.

Many people often ask creative writers where we get our ideas. This poem was inspired by a variety of posts I read here at Babies Online, especially those that discussed bedtime routines and setting a schedule.

Then, my niece had an assignment in her college writing class to write a particular form of poem, a villanelle. I thought it would be fun to try!

In this form, the first and last line of the first stanza repeat. I gave it a twist, changing the second refrain in order to represent the rapidly passing time with a baby! Enjoy!

Breakfast, naptime, playtime, bath

Then off to bed with a lullaby

These newborn days go by so fast.

Our day is planned, a common path

Treasure each moment in my mind

Breakfast, naptime, playtime, bath

I try to make each second last

As gurgles and goos turn into “bye-bye”

These infant days go by so fast.

Others warned it would pass in a flash

And daily routines make the minutes fly…

Breakfast, naptime, playtime, bath

Then bedtime stories and your cute little laugh

Someday I’ll miss the cuddles and cries

These toddler days go by so fast

Then one day, no lullabies,

No more stories, nor cuddles and cries…

No breakfast, naptime, playtime, bath–

Childhood goes by so fast.

A high chair is one of only a handful of big ticket items you will buy for your baby. Before investing $100 or more into this purchase, you’ll want to do some research. And yes, you can get a high chair for under $100, but I’ve discovered that in this product category, the adage “you get what you pay for” holds very true.

I began researching high chairs with some personal biases in place. Many months ago, I researched and wrote an article about ergonomics in the home for www.theWAHMmagazine.com and I learned of the Stokke Tripp Trapp high chair. I was immediately hooked.

The high chair has several appealing features:

• sturdy solid wood construction (and available in a variety of colors/finishes)
• adjustable footrests
• removable tray for easy cleaning
• modular seat so it grows with the child, even converting to an adult chair

Most significantly, the Tripp Trapp is the first chair that permits you to pull your child—even an infant–up to the family table for dinner.

The solid beechwood construction is built to last and, with 11 available colors, you can purchase a high chair to match your kitchen or dining room table. The cushion is sold separately, so if you change your décor, you can buy another cushion. I love the fact that the high chair doesn’t look like yet another piece of baby gear, but an actual piece of furniture in the home.

And it becomes just that, years down the line, when you can convert it to a regular chair.

The Tripp Trapp allows you to adjust both the height of the seat and footrests and the depth, so your child can fit comfortably at any age and size. Designed ergonomically, the chair has a double curved back rest which takes pressure off your child’s developing spine.

Additionally, the adjustable footrests keep your baby’s feet planted solidly, not dangling in mid-air. Since children are able to shift their weight from foot to foot, they fidget less. (Aren’t you more comfortable and secure with your feet solidly on the floor or a footrest?)

For infants, a separate baby set is available, and a five-point safety harness keeps your baby safe and secure. Not many (if any) other high chairs offer the five-point harness, which exceeds ASTM safety standards for a high chair. The baby set / safety guard is available in colors to match your chair.

Many moms (myself included) might balk at the price tag of the Tripp Trapp. But when you consider that you’re getting a high chair that can change with your décor, last for the life of your child, and convert to an adult chair that holds up to 250 pounds comfortably, the price begins to make sense.

Even more important, however, than the style, durability and adaptability of this chair are the psychological benefits of a high chair / booster that brings your child directly to the family table during dinner. For co-sleeping parents, the concept is a no-brainer. Our children share the family bed; by all means they should join the family dinner table.

Studies show that the family dinner table is the optimal place for children to learn socialization skills, manners and good nutrition. Your child can be part of dinner in a conventional high chair, but they might feel separate from the rest of the family—the “grown-ups.” I’ve always believed in integrating children, whenever possible, to the adult dinner table. Let children be a part of dinner activities as soon as they are able to sit with support, and the learning and socialization can begin sooner!

Best of all, Stokke, manufacturers of the Tripp Trapp chair, have joined forces with Babies Online to offer a FREE Anabel Karmel feeding gift with each purchase made before March 31, 2009.

Mrs. H’s post “Reasons not to shout” was an eye opener for me. Not only because the reasons she gave are so valid but also because it gives me an inkling of what it is like to be a mother of a singleton toddler.

I’ve been told that I shout too often. I remember an incident at preschool pick up time when I was trying my best to get my boys to dress so we could catch our train. In the end, I had to be strong and firm and one mom told me “There’s no need to shout, you know.” Instead of being affronted by her comment, it actually made me do some soul-searching.

Was I really shouting? I don’t know. I thought I was just being firm but maybe for some people I was being loud. Do I shout too much? Maybe. Why do I shout?

I guess it started soon after my twin boys started crawling. I had to teach them to pay attention when I shout “stop!” I remember chasing one who was crawling upstairs while the other one was crawling downstairs. I remember shouting “I’m here” or “I’m coming” lots of times to reassure one wailing boy I’m around while I attended to his brother.

I remember shouting “wait!” when one boy ran off while I was picking up his brother who just tripped. And I remember shouting “No!” in a similar situation that Mrs. H described with her daughter Mina. Only then I had two boys several meters apart putting sand, and dirt, and what ever else into their mouths simultaneously. I remember shouting from the kitchen “Turn off the tap!” when I heard water running and giggles in the bathroom. Even as they grew older, I had to yell “Stop!” and “Hold it right there!” countless times: two boys pushing each other in a busy street crossing, one boys pushing his brother under in a swimming pool, countless fist fights. I have to shout many times “please listen!” to two twin boys so absorbed with each other, they would forget the rest of the world. Or yelling “Sit down!” from under covers in the wee hours of the morning as I heard the toilet seat being lifted.

Do I shout too often? Maybe I do. Is it really necessary to shout? Sometimes, I guess.

A friend of mine said not to worry about it. She does it, too, now that she has a little baby in addition to her two-year old. She said she used to be so patient and calm, giving her full understanding and attention to her son JJ. “But I don’t have that luxury anymore,” my friend told me. “I have to shout now to make him stop and come to me when I’m breastfeeding or pushing the baby’s pram.” I guess having two or more makes a difference. Looking back now, the other mom at the preschool has only 1 child.

Mrs. H is right though that unnecessary shouting can have some negative effects to children. I guess we do have to shout when necessary but we shouldn’t make a habit of it. As long as it’s not an emergency situation, I always ask myself nowadays, is it really necessary to shout? Am I being too loud? I guess a mom does what she can and what she has to do, depending on the situation.

So tell me, do you also have to shout/yell at your kids sometimes?

I remember before I had children, I thought it was strange when I saw mothers who had their children in harnesses out in public.  The idea is that it is easier to keep track of an active child if they are in a baby harness.

When I became a mother, I still thought it was odd.  Then, my toddler got lost one day while we were in Disney World.  I decided to take a bathroom break and asked my parents and my ex to watch the children.  When I returned, only three of our four children were waiting for me!  It turned out that my youngest had slipped away and followed me into the bathroom.  We discovered her a few minutes later, but I swear I sprouted several grey hairs in those minutes.   The next day, I bought a baby harness.

I thought of this today as we were touring Jamestown with my dear friend, her family, and their Belgium exchange student.  Somehow, signals got crossed and everyone thought that the other person was watching the toddler. Then, panic ensued when we discovered he was missing.  We ran around the exhibits for a few minutes, calling for him in English, French, and German.  He yelled back in English and we were able to find him.

The entire event lasted again, only a few minutes.  This time, I’ve got too many grey hairs to tell if I’ve sprouted any new ones.  As I hugged my son, my youngest, who herself had gotten lost in Disney almost a decade ago, remarked loudly–”SOMEBODY needs to get a baby harness!”

Have you used a baby harness to keep your active toddler close to you in public? Would you ever use such a product?

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) says that it plans to study the effects of BPA in depth in the future.  Currently, the FDA says that BPA’s are safe.  According to experts, the FDA bases this on the results of two studies done by other groups.  These studies, which were funded by chemical industries, claim that BPA’s are safe.

The National Toxicology Program has determined from it’s research that BPA’s, even in small amounts, can cause changes in brain development and behavior in infants and small children.  BPA’s are most easily ingested when chemicals from plastic containers seep into food and drink.

I became concerned about this when I saw an article that the bottles that I’d used for my son had a high concentration of BPA’s.  I began to try to find products without the chemical and was shocked at the lack of choices I found.  Many companies that made infant bottles weren’t even forthcoming with information it seemed.

Several months have passed and while strolling down the baby aisle last week, I noticed several products that actually announced that their product was BPA free.  I bought several BPA free products that day for my son.

Call me cynical, but I don’t buy the FDA’s position that this chemical is safe.  I’m grateful that I now have choices for safer products to purchase for my son.

Do you seek out products that advertise that they are BPA free? Do you agree with the FDA that this chemical is safe?

We’ve all been there: the baby decides to pitch a fit in the store. Today, I had something new happen during my son’s tempter tantrum. A fellow shopper cursed at me and made derogatory remarks about my son!

In the past, if my children decided to have a temper tantrum in the store, I’d tell them to stop, but I mostly ignored the tantrum. After a while, they got over whatever “it” was. I noticed that when they were toddlers like my son, the tantrums happened with some frequency and then they grew out of that stage. The tantrums never lasted for a while and so I never thought much about it. Today, I’m wondering if I should re-think my strategy or just try to forget the whole incident.

I’ve found that it’s helpful to minimize “triggers” which can cause temper tantrums. For example, I don’t take my son shopping near nap and meal times. I also avoid the candy and toy aisles as much as possible. I shop with a list and know what I want to get. I shop before the stores get crowded, or after the afternoon rush. I also tend to shop at super stores because I can buy different types of products in one place. This way I don’t have to make a trip to the hardware store, the post office, and the grocery store. These things help, but tantrums do happen.

I’m curious to find out what blog readers think: should you stop shopping when your child has a tantrum and take the child out to the car to avoid irritating fellow shoppers? How do you respond to a parent whose child is throwing a tantrum? Do you ignore the situation? Try to help? Is it ever ok to yell at a parent and make derogatory comments about the screaming child?

We decorated our Christmas tree last night.  As I write this, I’m sitting next to the tree admiring the ornaments.

All of them are on the top of the tree so my son can’t grab them and hurt himself or the ornaments.  The tree is wired to the wall so that he, the cats, or the dog can’t topple it over.  At the top of the tree sits a fake chicken.  Yes, a chicken because the children saw the decoration in the store and begged us to put it on top of the tree instead of the angel.  This is the fourth year that we’ve had a chicken instead of an angel on the tree top.   I suppose we’ve started a tradition.

The ornaments themselves are mostly resin.  They can’t be broken and they don’t show chew marks if the puppy should happen to get a hold of them either.

I thought that we’d done a pretty good job of child proofing the tree, but I was wrong.  My toddler figured out that if he stood on top of the puppy who was asleep next to the tree, that he could climb up the branches to get to the ornaments.  Isn’t he clever?

This evening, after supper, we decided to put the tree in the playpen as an additional safety feature.  That way, the tree has a safety perimeter and even if my son stands on the puppy, he can’t grab the ornaments off the tree.

I was talking to a friend of mine just a few minutes ago and I sheepishly admitted to her that we needed to take extraordinary measures to keep my son and the tree safe.  She laughed and admitted to me that she’d done the same thing almost 20 years ago when her son was small.

Her admission comforted me slightly.  Apparently I am not the first person to have a kid friendly Christmas tree.  I’m sure I won’t be the last either.

This post might freak out some people who know me… I have one son but this week I’ve got a new baby. OK, she’s not actually mine, I’m doing daycare for a 8-month-old baby.

I’m hoping that this is going to have lots of the advantages of having a real little sister. I’ve got a baby to play with (she’s so cute!) and she’s light as a feather to carry around (two year olds are heavy) and my son can learn all about caring for another person, and make friends with another child in an environment he’s comfortable in.   And, I didn’t need to get pregnant, I don’t have to pay into her college savings, and I get to give her back to her real mom and dad at the end of the day.

There’s been lots of classic baby-toddler behavior. Baby taking toddler’s toys, toddler getting cross, toddler wanting whatever baby has (cheerios and stage 2 applesauce all around for lunch), toddler insisting that mommy loves him and not the baby, toddler refusing to be quiet when baby needs to nap.  I have new-found respect for moms of more than one baby.

And there’s the cute stuff too. She’s fascinated by him. One of his favorite things to do is to burrow under the comforter then pop out, and she thinks it’s a fantastic peekaboo game. He fetches diapers for her, and when she cries, he says she needs a bottle. And he even gave her a hug today. Then they both managed to nap at almost the same time, so there was 30 minutes of peace while baby and toddler were both asleep. Bliss!

We’ve had just one week together so far, so everyone is still getting used to the situation, but I’m really hoping that it works out for everyone. Please keep your finger’s crossed for us!

Earlier today, our cat threw up and soon after, the baby rode across the kitchen and into the throw-up, in his walker. Yuck.

When you’ve got kids, you’ve got messes. At times, my husband goes with the flow and accepts this fact pretty well. Occasionally, though, he’ll get into his uptight, neat-freak mode and be very bothered by it. During these times, he dwells on things like fingerprints on the walls and cabinets.

I like a clean house, too but I refuse to drive myself crazy about it. I tell my husband to relax when he gets irritable about fingerprints, spills and other messy situations. The good part about his neat-freak mode is that he notices dirt and helps with the cleaning. I just can’t get to a lot of the housework, now that we have a baby again.

Chasing after a baby on the go, reminds me of when our older boys were babies and all the things they got into and messes they made. I walked into the kitchen when our oldest son was a toddler and found him sliding around the tile floor on a bunch of smashed raw eggs. He had opened the refrigerator and dumped one dozen eggs from their carton.

On another occasion, our middle son, then age 2, decided to get artistic on our brand new cream-colored carpet. He drew different colored lines from one side of the room to the other. Who knew that crayons showed up so well on carpet? Then, not long after that he decided to pee from the open stairway on the second floor onto the first floor.

These times made me want to scream but soon afterward I was able to laugh. I’ve got to give the kids credit for being creative. I couldn’t make up anything funnier than some of the crazy things they do. Yes, life is messy but life without kids would be something I dread much more: it would be lonely and boring.

Does your partner help with the housework? What memorable messes have your little ones made?

My husband and I had hired a builder several years ago to enlarge our house when he and I got married. Since I had 4 kids from a previous marriage, we needed at least another bathroom and 2 more bedrooms to accommodate everyone.

Sadly, the builder went bankrupt somewhere near the end of the project leaving us in a difficult situation. Almost four years later, we are still finishing and fixing the house as time and money allow. In the beginning, it wasn’t too difficult. My 4 children are old enough to know to stay away from nails and not to eat spackle. They don’t have a desire to pick up a hammer and see what they can smash either. We didn’t have to worry about baby-proofing our building projects.

Then we had our son and life changed slightly. When it was time to do very dusty projects, we’d take him to our neighbors for a few hours until we could clean things up. Otherwise, it was simple to put him in his playpen with a few toys and do whatever needed to be done. It was slightly challenging to baby-proof our work projects and supplies, but we managed.

For a while, our project stalled due to lack of time and finances. This weekend, we decided to tackle a few building projects when the children were out with family members. It was then that we realized that remodeling with a toddler is not an easy thing to do!

Our son can now crawl out of the playpen and he’s curious. While my back was turned, he played in the paint. After a bath, he discovered a dust pile. After another bath, he discovered it was fun to play with the wall spackle. After another bath, I put him to bed and we worked furiously to finish what we needed to do.

We’ve realized we need a new strategy: we’ll need to do repairs during nap time, or hire our neighbors to watch our son at their house while we work on the house for any extended length of time. Let’s hope that this strategy works!

My children love to dress up on Halloween. I think it’s a wonderful thing, but given that there are 5 of them, I need to be as creative and frugal as possible when creating costumes.

Last year was our son’s first Halloween. I admit, I went to the “big party” store in town and looked at all of the professionally done costumes and I thought–I want our son to have one of these! After all, it was his first Halloween… The price tag of the costume I picked was around $50. $50 for an infant’s costume! I decided at that moment that I needed to check out other options.

Ebay is a good place to find costumes for your children. The costumes are gently used and the prices are more affordable. I did end up buying my son’s Halloween costume there last year. My son went as Robin, and the dog went as Batman. It was too cute!

This year, we are creating a costume for my son. The dog will go as his horse, and he will be a knight. I got a pair of black pants and a black shirt for him. The Dollar Store has helmets and shields and we can make a sword from cardboard and tin foil. I have “borrowed” a pair of my husband’s socks and I am going to paint them silver with fabric paint I have in my craft box.

You may have guessed that I am not a seamstress! I might be frugal, and I am creative, but I just don’t sew very well. The truth is that there are plenty of costumes that you can create without sewing at all, or with a minimal amount of sewing.

For many costumes, you can begin with a simple sweatshirt with a hood and sweatpants. By painting black spots on a white outfit, and adding a felt tail and some felt ears, you have made a dalmatian. Use a green outfit and add some warts and felt eyes on the top of the hood and you have a frog. A black cat costume can be made from a black outfit. I am sure that you can think of other costumes to create using this basic formula.

The best part is that you can “re-use” your costume after Halloween is over because most children can always use and extra sweat shirt or pair or sweat pants! Now that’s a smart way to celebrate the season!

It’s been more than a year since I’ve had my baby and I’ve shed the baby pounds, largely due to nursing. Yet, I’m resigned to the fact that unless I embark on a major diet change and workout routine, I just won’t have the same body ever again. I’ve got striations on my stomach, around my hips, and the dreaded muffin top, and I’m doubtful as to whether even weight loss and toning would get rid of the stretchy skin.

I still vividly remember the emotional wreck I was in the weeks after my daughter’s birth. Months later, I still wasn’t quite my usual self. I remember the plague of doubts, the crying fits, the sleepless nights. I can remember it all, and I can’t believe that that same person is me as I type this. Was I that woman, whose confidence that she would be a good mom crumpled as she carried her infant in the wee hours of the night, while her C-section scar healed? Was I that same woman who felt alone and insecure? That woman spent endless hours reading baby books, baby articles online to clue herself in on how to raise a happy, successful, healthy child.

As the months passed, I found myself relying less and less on experts on print, as well as on my mother, and relying more on what works for our family. Baby sites that used to be daily visits for me, became pit stops for articles I myself was writing, instead of as reference on what I should do with my own baby. The endless obsession with baby gear including strollers, car seats, stylish diaper bags, baby carrier, has ebbed to an all-time low post-pregnancy. With good reason: my daughter has become more mobile and less demanding in terms of diapers and outfit changes.

As my daughter has grown, so too has my confidence been regained. I see her smiles, her growth, her bubbly personality, as proof that, thankfully, we as her parents are doing a good job. As her personality has emerged faster than you can say “diva”, so too are we putting aside many things around the house that made her a true “baby”. The tiny diapers, the baby food, the baby tub, even the diaper bag.

We’re slowly entering an age where we communicate more, where independence is creeping in slowly but surely. I would love to freeze time so she can remain the baby we adore, but toddlerhood is just around the very close corner. At 13 months, she’s beginning to learn the power of the word “no”, and starting to insist on picking her own shoes! In short, It’s been a year of growth for her and her parents. She sheds her babyness, while I shed my past insecurities. She embraces independence as I embrace the challenge of parenting a toddler, with less strict adherence to what experts recommend, and more of a trust on my own instincts. We’ll navigate the year ahead with glee, my daughter, my husband and I. By the end of the year, as surely as she will learn so much from the world around her, so too will we learn from watching her take in the world.

My first child was one month old when Halloween arrived. I remember dressing her up like a pumpkin and keeping her with me when I handed out candy to the neighbors’ children.

My son is the youngest child of 5 and we dress him up so he can enjoy the festivities with his sisters who canvas the neighborhood for goodies. While we are out, a neighbor hands out the candy to children who come to visit our house.

Whether your baby is accompanying you and your older children around the neighborhood on Halloween night, or whether she is staying home with you while you hand out candy to the neighbor children, you should start planning her costume now. It does seem a little bit early to be planning for end of October festivities, but I’ve found that Halloween costumes go quickly. For the best selection, it’s important to shop early.

If you are looking for frugal costume ideas, you can do a search online for ideas that are easy and inexpensive to do. If you can sew, or know someone who does sew, it is fun to look through the costume patterns at the local fabric store.

I have bought several costumes for my children online through different auction sites. If you are thinking about this option, now is the perfect time to start bidding on costumes. Remember that you must allow time for the costume to be shipped once you win the auction. Also, it might take a few tries to win an auction!

I have also found gently used costumes for sale at some of the local thrift shops. Again, it is best to shop early for the best selection.

While you are deciding on this year’s costume, remember to plan ahead for next year. Costumes are incredibly inexpensive after Halloween! It would be wise to purchase next year’s costume at that time. If you decide to purchase a costume for next year during the clearance sales, remember to buy a size or two bigger than your child wore this past year.

My “little pumpkin” is now 15 years old. Believe it or not, I saved her first Halloween costume and it became a tradition for each child to dress up in that costume for their first Halloween. I have to admit though, when, I pulled the costume out for my son’s first Halloween last year, it looked worn.

We decided to start a new first year Halloween tradition. In keeping with this new tradition, my son dressed up as Batman and the dog went as Robin.

Good bye pumpkin, hello super hero and super sidekick!

It seems every time we go shopping to a store with carts, we inevitably see a child hanging off the front or the back of a cart, improperly restrained, or simply jumping around inside the cart.

While I know how difficult it can be to shop alone with a child ? or multiple children ? the child?s safety should always be in the forefront. I cringe when I see kids bouncing around the inside of a cart, but wonder: would they be any safer running around the store? What?s the best option when you have no choice but to shop with a child?

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) reports that in 2005, more than 24,000 children were treated in U.S. hospital emergency rooms for shopping cart related injuries. Most injuries occurred when a child fell from a shopping cart, the cart tipped over, the child became entrapped in the cart or the child fell while riding on the outside of the cart. Injuries to the head and neck accounted for 74 percent of related injuries among children younger than 15. Of the 4 percent of children treated in an emergency room for a shopping cart injury, more than 93 percent were under age 5.

As such, the AAP recommends that alternatives be considered to even placing a child in shopping carts. These include bringing another adult along to help keep an eye on the kids, using a stroller or carrier for younger children instead of placing them in the cart, ask older children to stay nearby and praise them when they comply, and simply leaving young children at home with older kids or with a caregiver while the shopping is done.

While these might not be ideal solutions to the problem of shopping cart safety, they can be used as a jumping off point to make parents think more about how safe their children are while they are in or around a shopping cart. After all, isn?t their safety the most important thing?