Before I became pregnant with my first baby at 29 it was a common occurrence for people to mistake me as being younger than I actually was.  It was the same way every time the subject of age came up when chatting with someone who didn’t know me very well.  I would tell them how old I was and they would get a quizzical look on their face and then make the declaration that I looked younger than I actually was.  I loved it.

Then came my babies.

I thought that my sleep deprivation was causing the dark circles under my eyes and the new wrinkles on my face were the result of my constant scowl from cleaning up poop and spit-up and once I no longer had to do those things the wrinkles would go away.  After all, I was still pretty young, so why should I look like I wasn’t?

Then the grays started to pop up.  My hair is straight, bordering on wavy, but suddenly these grays started popping up right in the middle of my head and they were curly. All of this happened as I was desperately trying to accept the fact that I would never get another full night’s sleep and I would never be able to wear a two-piece bathing suit because of my newly acquired stretch marks all across my tummy.

Now when I talk to people about my age there is never the reply of “Oh, you look so much younger than you are.” In fact, if I don’t look spot-on for my age, I might look a little older now.  I know that I’m going to age, but I swear that having these kids has aged me faster than I would have aged otherwise.  Or, as a university professor once warned us all in a health psychology class, “When a woman has a baby, she pays for it.”  She wasn’t talking about paying with money, trust me.

I would never trade my babies to get my young looks back of course, but I will be the first to admit that my little blessings were a huge factor in my newly aged look.

I’ll never forget the moment when I was absolutely sure that I just couldn’t keep going as a mom.  My two year old was having a fitful sleep and kept waking me up with her yelps from the nightmares she was having.  My newborn was sleeping in the bed with me because it was the only way we could get him to sleep.  My husband was asleep downstairs because he couldn’t handle getting woken up several times an hour, so I was left to deal with it all on my own.

My son woke up crying, so I woke up and discovered that his diaper had leaked all over us, so both him and I were covered with pee.  The bed was soaked but I didn’t have the gumption to get up and get new sheets because I was exhausted.  It then hit me that I was completely willing to sleep in a puddle of pee because I didn’t have the energy to go get new sheets, so I started crying right along with my son.  I held him and cried, and figured that if there was a breaking point for moms then it probably looked a little something like this: a sobbing mom sitting in a puddle of pee with a crying newborn.

Ah, memories.

If you’re a new parent then you can expect to have moments like this.  You might not wind up in the exact same situation – I really hope you don’t, by the way – but it could be any number of things.  I had one friend who absolutely lost it on her father-in-law when he ate the last banana in the house that was supposed to be for her baby’s breakfast.  I had another friend who called me sobbing in a panic because she just couldn’t stand looking at the walls in her house anymore, yet couldn’t fathom gathering her twin boys into the car to leave.  A few years later, all of us are competent moms who only break down sobbing once in a great while, and usually because our kids do something so moving that we cry from good emotions.

The point is that you can get through the really tough times with your baby.  Yes, there will be times when you are so exhausted and so emotional that you feel like you simply can’t do anything other than stay in bed and cry, but try to keep it all in perspective.  You’re tired, you’re hormonal, and chances are you’re a little overwhelmed by the thought of being responsible for another life.  It’s no wonder we all crack once in a while.

You can do it.  Trust me.

Being a parent is an exhausting job, there’s no doubt about it. However, you don’t have to feel exhausted all the time. Here are some things I’ve discovered that really sap my energy and make it more difficult to keep up with my energetic family.

Not Eating
I’ve found that I really need to watch what I eat if I expect to have enough energy to run after my 5 kids. I admit that mornings are a crazy time in our house. Sometime around mid-morning I feel my energy level crash and realize that I forgot to eat!

Over-Doing the Caffeine
It’s tempting to grab a cup of coffee when I need a quick energy burst. However, over-doing the caffeine consumption can actually make you more tired when the fix wears off. Plus, too much caffeine can make you irritable, irritate your stomach, or cause heart palpitations. It’s best to watch your caffeine consumption if you hope to keep your energy levels up.

Not Sleeping
Have you ever been so tired or stressed that you can’t sleep? Or worse yet, remember how you have finally gotten your baby to sleep through the night but you are still waking up for that 2am feeding and having trouble getting back to sleep?

It can be difficult to find the energy you need during the day when you aren’t getting a good sleep during the night. I’ve heard that sleep experts recommend that adults develop a sleep routine in order to promote better sleep habits. I guess if sleep routines work for children, they should work for adults. It sounds reasonable anyway.

I’m trying to work on this subject in my own life because the holiday season is fast approaching. While I love all of the wonderful things that go along with celebrating this special time of year, I realize that it takes energy to be able to do all the things I will need to do. That means that I need to work on creating good habits now (like exercising, eating right, reducing my caffeine and getting sleep) that will enable me to find the energy I need to take me through the holidays and beyond!

New parents, if there is one thing I can tell you that I wish I would have known when I had a newborn in my arms it is this: People want to help you. Anyone who has ever had a baby knows how incredibly confusing, exhausting, and stressful it can be. Nobody expects you to be a perfect parent the second your baby is born. If you’re anything like me you’ll spend a lot of time fumbling around, trying to figure out how to take care of a new baby without losing your mind.

The thing I didn’t realize is that most new parents – particularly new moms who are staying home from work for the first time and experiencing a HUGE life change while also dealing with hormones from labor and delivery – is that the vast majority of new parents struggle quite a bit. Everyone gets tired during this confusing time, but it’s important to realize that everyone gets overwhelmed at some point too when dealing with a new baby. I have some friends who didn’t get nearly as overwhelmed as I did, but all of them admit that at some point they could have really used some help but didn’t ask anyone.

Why are we afraid to ask for help? I think we want to seem like we’re good parents, and for one reason or another many of us think that translates into not needing help from anyone. I also had a problem with trusting anyone with my baby because I was convinced that nobody could care for her like I could. If you don’t believe me, then ask my husband about the horrible sobbing fit I had when the nurses took my baby for two hours so I could get some sleep. True story.

Don’t think that anyone will assume you’re an inept parent if you ask for help. I wish I would have taken more people up on their offers of help back when my first baby was born. When people asked what they could do to help, I should have said “please bring dinner over one night” or “please come watch the baby so I can get a long shower.” Instead I said the same thing that was my knee-jerk reaction: “Thanks for the offer but we don’t need any help right now.” I didn’t want anyone to think that I needed help. I wanted to be Supermom.

It’s no shock that I wasn’t Supermom. I was tired and overwhelmed.

When your baby is born you should be prepared to field plenty of offers of help from people. Practice saying this over and over again, “Yes, please!”

I’m writing this at 11:15 at night, big cup of coffee at my side, fully aware that in less than six or seven hours I’ll be crawling out of bed and starting another full day of writing, cleaning, and chasing my two kiddos around. I know I should be asleep, but hey…a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do.

This isn’t uncommon for me unfortunately, so I was quite interested when I came across an article posted by the Nursing Online Education Database: 50 Ways to Boost Your Energy Without Caffeine. My first reaction to the the title was this: “Yeah, right.” Upon reading it, though, it became apparent that they had some good points. I am trying to give up caffeine, so maybe I should try some of their suggestions. Here were some of my favorites:

1. Get more sleep. Well, yeah.
2. Exercise.
3. Get massages.
4. Get sunlight during the day.
5. Avoid people who drain you.
6. Watch your attitude.
7. Try to keep a sleep schedule.

A lot of the other tips were good suggestions for overall health, but I guess that there is a direct correlation between health, contentedness, and energy levels. Nobody knows that better than an exhausted, over-worked mom.

Perhaps tomorrow night I’ll get to bed at a decent hour.

I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter — how the tiredness hit me so suddenly in my first trimester. It was as if someone stuck a straw in my belly button and sucked out every ounce of energy in my body, leaving one tired vessel behind.

Over the next few weeks, I managed to find a few quick and easy solutions to the extreme tiredness I was feeling. When I was not able to fit a nap into an already over-scheduled day, or I had already taken one, I found that taking a quick stroll around the block helped to clear and refresh my head. Going outside and enjoying a change of scenery helped to energize me for the rest of the day.

Sipping a cold glass of water also helped me to feel less fatigued. Mild dehydration is actually a quite common (and often overlooked) cause of fatigue. Dehydration can reduce blood volume and reduce blood flow to your organs, which ends up slowing down your brain, and thus, slowing you down. Be sure to drink about 8 glasses of water per day, and don’t wait until you feel thirsty – by then you are already becoming dehydrated. Try squeezing some lemon or lime juice in your water for some extra flavoring or to make it more palatable.

I also made sure to eat healthy as often as I could. I found that when I ate a protein rich lunch I had more energy to get me through the afternoon. Also, protein containing snacks combined with carbs, such as cheese or peanut butter and crackers, or a handful of nuts helped to keep me energized as well.

Pregnancy can certainly bring on a feeling of fatigue like you’ve never known, but I learned that there are a few easy things I could do throughout the day to stave off the groggy feeling and get through my day. What are some of your tips for pregnancy fatigue?