Or is there one?

My son was only three years old when I sought out mental health counseling for him. You may be wondering why in the world a toddler might need therapy unless he’s horribly violent or presenting symptoms of Autism, but he had neither of these. Instead, he was just not adjusting well to his father’s year-long overseas military assignment and I did not know how to help him beyond what I was already trying.

I should point out that I’m pro-therapy. Right now I’m in graduate school studying clinical counseling so I may be quicker to jump to the conclusion that therapy can help almost anyone -including a toddler- but if you have ever considered putting your young child into therapy then let me reveal to you what you are probably in for.

Parent Training?

The biggest thing you will probably come to realize is that therapy for really young kids is more like training for the parent. In fact, at my son’s final session with his psychologist I was asked if I had any questions about anything and I said, “This was more about training me to deal with my son’s emotions rather than teaching my son about dealing with his emotions, wasn’t it?” The psychologist nodded and said that if it was billed to insurance companies as “Parent Training” then it probably wouldn’t get paid. It seems to me that some parents probably wouldn’t even enroll in anything called Parent Training because it might seem intimidating.

What to Expect During Child Therapy

• The psychologist takes my son into the Toy Room and lets him pick out some toys to bring back into her office for the session.

• My son plays with the toys while the psychologist asks me about how the last couple of weeks have gone and asks me if I have any special concerns to discuss.

• The psychologist then introduces some new concepts regarding interaction with my son. She then asks me to sit down on the ground with him and play while incorporating whatever new concept was introduced in addition to the ones from previous sessions. For example, one session she asked me to interrupt his play to give him direct commands to work on compliance with parental requests.

• If at any point he doesn’t follow the rules of the office (raising his hand to interrupt conversation, not throwing toys, and all the other rules set by the psychologist) he’s put into a time out by the psychologist.

The psychologist spent a lot more time talking to me and training me than she did with my son. I think this is an important thing to realize when it comes to therapy for very young children; at this age, it isn’t so much about changing the kid as it is about changing the way the parent deals with the kid. While this may seem intimidating to some parents, I found it to be incredibly empowering.

Therapy Did Help My Toddler

Or maybe I should say it helped me to help my toddler. We have four months until Daddy is back home, but even upon his return I will continue to use all the tips and tactics the child psychologist taught me. If you’re thinking about seeking out assistance from a therapist for behavioral issues your toddler is displaying, don’t worry that your child is too young to benefit from therapy. You may learn a few things too.

Around 12% of babies born in the United States are born prematurely, or before 37 weeks of gestation.

Being born early can have some serious consequences for these babies who can face many medical and mental problems. New research suggests that there may be a link between maternal depression and premature births. The reasons for such a link are not really clear at this time however.

Depression during pregnancy tends to be a taboo topic I think because it seems as if everyone expects for you to be happy when you are pregnant. Because of this, many women are reluctant to admit that they are struggling when they are pregnant. In addition, I know of women who have been on depression medicine before they were pregnant and suddenly stop their meds when they find out they are pregnant because they worry about the effects of medication on their unborn child.

I don’t think that this research means that you need to panic if you struggle with depression and you are pregnant. What I think this says is that moms need to take care of themselves during pregnancy. If you are depressed, ask for help, and don’t struggle in silence. If you have been on medication prior to conceiving, talk with your doctor before stopping your medications. There are medications that can be taken during pregnancy with little risk to your child.

When women are pregnant, they must put up with all sorts of discomforts that are just part of the pregnancy package. Pregnancy induced discomforts will fade when the baby is born, but depression isn’t one of those things. Don’t endure your depression; get help for your sake and the sake of your child.

A new bill in the Virginia General Assembly may help parents with autistic children. House Bill 83 would require insurance providers to cover costs associated with treating autism. The cap for treatments has been set at $36,000 per year.

According to the Autism Society, the cost for medically treating an autistic child could cost a family $5 million over the course of a child’s lifetime. Each year, parents pay thousands for therapy and other medical necessities which may not be covered by insurance. However, insurance companies have pointed out that if they are required to cover such costs, it will probably mean raising insurance premiums.

As a parent of two autistic children, I am following this whole situation to see what actually comes of it all. I understand that other states, like Pennsylvania and South Carolina, have passed similar legislation aimed at providing financial relief for parents of autistic children. I wonder if this legislation has impacted families in these states in a positive or negative way. I also wonder about other parents who have children with other serious health conditions which have been financially devastating to them and shouldn’t they also be legally entitled to some sort of financial relief if such relief is given to parents of autistic children?

I’ve lost track of how much money our family has spent out of pocket dealing with the multiple issues that have challenged my children. I have to admit that I’ve not even seriously looked into some courses of therapy simply because I knew that we could never afford them. Because of this fact, I’ve spent a lot of time researching and trying to implement some of the successful therapy strategies into our daily lives. I’ve seen a lot of progress in my children over the years, but it’s been exhausting for me!

If passed, this legislation could change our lives radically. I’d like to believe that it would change our lives would for the better, but I am cautious. Would there be a number of bureaucratic ‘hurdles’ to deal with or would it be relatively painless to reap the benefits of this new legislation? I also wonder if there couldn’t be another way to help parents of special needs children cover some of their out of pocket medical expenses. There are a lot of issues and concerns to think about and the answers don’t seem to be very easy; at least from my perspective.

Does your state have a plan which covers autistic medical treatments? Do you support such legislation?

I knew something was not quite right with my second child from the time she was very, very small. One of the things that was striking about her was the way she would not interact with things or people in her environment. In fact, it seemed as if she was in a world of her own most of the time when she wasn’t screaming at the top of her lungs or throwing temper tantrums about nothing in particular.

I remember taking her to our pediatrician when she was about 9 months old and asking him about my concerns. At that time, 12 years ago, kids were not routinely evaluated for autism until they were toddlers. Parents were told that a formal diagnosis could not be given until the child was 3! The best he could do was to encourage me to keep on doing what I was doing. How frustrating!

Things have changed drastically in the ensuing decade. Parents are more educated and health care professionals are more proactive in assessing disorders and assisting parents in getting the intervention that their children need. If you have concerns about your baby’s social development, you can check out this website devoted to educating parents about the signs and symptoms of autism as well as other developmental delays and disabilities.

My daughter was eventually diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 and we began to get her the intervention she needed. Now, after many years of therapy and support, she is making wonderful progress!

If you have concerns about your child, make an appointment to discuss those concerns with your child’s doctor as soon as possible. You and your child will be glad you did.

I think that all parents have instinctively been given an internal warning system that alerts them when something is off with their child. What happens when your radar system alerts you that something major is not right?

When my oldest child was a baby, I had concerns. I just brushed them off (and so did my doctor) as “first time mom worries”. But, as she got older, and began to hit her milestones significantly later than her peers, my concerns increased. Due to numerous insurance changes, my daughter had seen a number of professionals who had snippets of the story, but not the whole story like I did. When she turned 3, I sat down to evaluate the facts objectively with a friend who had children of her own. It was after that meeting that I decided to begin looking for help for my daughter. Perhaps you are at that point now? Where do you begin and what do you do?

Easter Seals is a great place to start. They have offices in numerous states and locations. But suppose that there isn’t an office in your state? Check your city’s Social Services Department for resources. They may be listed under Mental Health or Mental Retardation or Early Intervention. The staff should be able to help you further.

Once you’ve made contact, you would begin by stating the reasons you are concerned about your child’s development. You may even want to write out a list of milestones and when your child reached that milestone.

An “intake evaluation” will be scheduled. You might meet with a caseworker or social worker to go over your child’s background. For example: was your baby premature, were there health problems during the pregnancy etc. Once the intake interview has been done, your child will be set up for evaluations by a multi-disciplinary team. Some examples of professionals on the team would be: social workers, speech pathologists, occupational therapists and physical therapists. According to law, agencies have 45 days from the time that the evaluation was requested until they do the evaluation unless they meet guidelines for extensions. Once the evaluations are done, the professionals will advise you of the percent delay that your child has and also make other recommendations as far as specialists for your child. An example of this might be seeing an optometrist for a full vision evaluation.

If your child is over 25% delayed in a certain area, the agency will come up with a plan to address those deficits.

Many of the agencies I dealt with also were helpful in dealing with financial concerns such affording therapy and products that your child might need to progress whether it be government assistance or other grants which will be of help.

Depending on the state you live in, your child may be eligible for government medical insurance (medical assistance) if they are disabled or have certain handicaps as either a primary or secondary insurance option. For children who have serious disabilities, you may want to consider SSI (like Social Security, but for disabled children) to assist with out of pocket expenses. Families are eligible for SSI if their children have specified disabilities and if their income and assets are not above a certain level.

It may also be helpful to find support from other parents who have been there. You can find support via the internet, or also through groups in your community. For example, our community has an autistic support group. I belong to a telephone support group for parents with children who have Retinitis Pigmentosa.

As a mom with two handicapped children herself, I know how hard it can be to find the resources you need for your child to succeed and grow. If you are reading this and you need help with the process, please post and I’ll do my best to help you!