Reflecting on what we are thankful for is a tradition for many of us on Thanksgiving, but this year, it may carry more meaning than usual. The number of people losing their jobs and struggling to pay their bills and feed their families, is so much greater than usual.

My mom just told me that her husband (of three years, so not exactly my “step-dad” but a great addition to the family!) won’t be able to retire when he was planning to because of his diminished retirement account. I?ve heard other similar stories.

I know a few other moms who have recently taken on full-time jobs outside the home for the first time in years, due to necessity. One, the mom of my oldest son?s friend, told me that her oldest son was “set” for college until recently, when they lost a lot of money due to the current financial mess.

My own husband is an Investment Officer, or Financial Advisor. I swear that the number of gray hairs on his head have doubled in the past month…He is particularly drained from having to be the sounding board for many of his worried clients. He needs to be reassuring to them, all the while dealing with the reality of just how tough things are with the current economy.

All of this is depressing, but true. I’m sure everyone has his/her own story to tell. I hope, though, that this Thanksgiving will give us all the chance to put our worries aside-at least for a day. To appreciate our children and what a joy it is to watch them grow and do amazing, new things just about every day. To appreciate a delicious meal and be thankful that we are able to have it, while more people than ever before will be turning to soup kitchens and counting on donations for theirs.

My family has to dig deeper into their pockets than usual to put together this year’s big feast, as do so many others. I will take the time to enjoy every bite (if my kids will let me) and the company of family and friends. I will miss my grandfather, as usual, and be thankful for the memories I have of him. I will be thankful for the chance to spend yet another Thanksgiving with my grandmother, now 86 years old.? I hope we can all take the time to reflect on what we do have during this time of hardship and find the faith to believe that it will get better.

Today is Thanksgiving in the United States, and for many people, this means traveling long distances to be with family and/or friends. It is possible to travel with children and to still remain sane enough to participate in holiday festivities; it just requires a little more effort.

When I became a parent, I quickly gave up driving through the night. Before kids, I could leave at midnight and drive through the night to avoid the traffic. After a few hours of sleep, I could expect to function reasonably well enough to participate in the festivities. After kids, I discovered that driving through the night just didn’t work for me anymore. When I was ready to go to bed in the morning after driving all night, the kids were ready to get up! Not only that, but a few hours of sleep didn’t give me the energy or the attitude I needed to run after lively children.

Now, if we need to make a long trip, we drive during the day and we allow plenty of time to get to the destination. I usually add 2-3 hours onto our driving time estimation. This allows us time for rest stops, eating, and bathroom breaks.

I’ve found that it’s helpful to view the drive as part of the adventure, not just something to get through. Towards that goal, we try to stop at several roadside attractions along the way just to do something different. The children really look forward to these stops! When I was nursing my son, it also allowed me time to feed him in the car while everyone was out.

It’s also helpful to pack fun activities for the children to do during the car ride. If your children are older, you might consider buying some small trinkets at the Dollar Store to reward them after so many miles (or hours) of good behavior. There are travel games that you can buy at the store too which can help. If your budget won’t allow that expenditure, you can play license plate bingo or “I Spy” during the journey for free!

Another good idea is to stop by the local library and check out the great selection of music and books on tape for children. My children love to listen to stories when we drive and it helps to keep them amused!

Remember-and remind yourself of this during the journey-getting there IS half the fun!

I am not American and I live outside the US. My only experience with the Thanksgiving celebration is limited to one Thanksgiving dinner of roast turkey with cranberry sauce. And I loved it – especially the sauce.

Cranberry, whose Latin name is Vaccinium macrocarpon is native to North America so we don’t often see the likes of it here in Europe. This post reviews some research results on the health benefits of cranberries.

• Cranberries are rich in polyphenols such as anthocyanins and proanthocyanidins, which have very strong anti-oxidant properties.
• Researchers at Rutgers University observed that cranberry extract enhances the effect of chemotherapy drugs on ovarian cancer cells while reducing their side effects. This suggests that cranberries have potential anti-cancer properties.
• A study reported in the American Academy of Family Physicians demonstrated that cranberries have anti-bacterial effects. It can be used in the treatment of urinary tract infections as well as against gastrointestinal tract bacteria that can cause stomach ulcers.
• Another study conducted by researchers of the Winona State University showed that low-calorie, unsweetened cranberry juice has a positive metabolic effect on people with type 2 diabetes.

I don’t know about the turkey but cranberry sauce seems to be actually some kind of a health food. So hopefully this week, while enjoying your Thanksgiving feast, you’ll remember to eat more red sauce and less of red meat. Happy Thanksgiving!

The day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday, is one of the busiest shopping days of the year. This year, with the credit crisis, the shops might be a little quieter. Or maybe not, as retailers slash prices even more than usual to attempt to get the customers in their stores and spending money.

Black Friday is also national “Buy Nothing Day“, a day organized by activism and anti-consumerism group Adbusters to raise awareness of over-consumption and to encourage shoppers to be more thoughtful about what they actually buy. Do they really need that? Is it replacing something that could be repaired? Would it be cheaper to buy it second-hand?

Are you planning to go shopping on Black Friday? Toys, and electronics are often the most heavily discounted. Expectant parents need a digital camera for baby photos – and how could even the harshest anti-consumerist argue with that?

Babies are the easiest people to buy for. Stores filled with racks and racks of the most adorable baby clothes, nursery decor, toys that promise to teach baby to count and spell and speak Spanish and learn her animals, most baby stores make it super-easy to start a baby registry, and most baby websites have a checklist of things you need to buy for your baby. And then there’s the pressure to be a yummy mummy and have the latest stroller, most fashionable baby carrier, and designer baby clothes, just like the celebrity moms.

I’m preparing to move house, and I’m looking through my son’s baby stuff. I’m marveling at how little I used some of the items we bought or received. Some of his clothes have tags still on, or are pristine and barely worn. There’s so many toys he didn’t care for.

My finances have been trashed this year – I became a single mom – so initiated by necessity, I’ve had to work out what I really, truly need to buy. So now I haven’t bought a toy for my son for months. Yes, you read that right. He’s been very happy playing with random non-toy objects and it’s so neat to watch him invent new uses for things, and it’s using my grey matter thinking up ways to reuse objects like empty food pots (train garage, frog castle, bath toy) and other things that hitherto would have gone in the trash. We were playing at being bats in a cave underneath the duvet this afternoon, then I rolled him up in it like a burrito which he thought was hilarious. Adding in getting all our books from the library, the total cost of toys = $0.

I’ve bought him winter clothes, including a couple of things from a local consignment store, and new mittens for me, and that’s about it. Looking through the barely-used baby clothes reminded me how fast they grow and to just buy what he needed, not lots of cute outfits because they were cute.

And I did get a new digital camera. Well, kinda new – it was $50 second-hand from Craigslist. Craigslist is also a great source of baby bargains. When my son was a baby I got an exersaucer for $5 and a brand new swing for $20, and a great big bagful of baby Gap clothes for $15. And in keeping with the ethics of Buy Nothing Day, buying second-hand is very green, it doesn’t use any of the planet’s resources, and it saves the items from the landfill.

Black Friday is a great day to get a discount on something you really need, and many internet stores are already discounting prices and have special offers in preparation for a Thanksgiving shopping marathon. I found my son’s new winter coat 40% off and free shipping at Amazon, much cheaper than at my local mall.

But after hearing about Buy Nothing Day, I’m also resolving to be more thoughtful about what I buy, and to consider what we actually need before I buy anything.

Are you going shopping on Black Friday? What are you looking for? Or are you going to be having a “Buy Nothing Day”?

Last Thanksgiving wasn’t this complicated. This year, there’s me, my son, my boyfriend, his three kids, his ex-wife, her boyfriend, his ex and his kids, boyfriend’s dad, his girlfriend, boyfriend’s mom, her boyfriend, then there’s my ex-husband. (That sentence simplified: many divorced couples, new relationships, many kids from broken homes, not everyone is on civil terms yet) Can you imagine this is going to be awkward? Although I miss my family, I’m kinda glad they live on another continent right now! Currently, there is no plan as to which kids are going to be at who’s house, with which one of their parents, and who is going to be cooking?

While it’s always bad when families break up, some of the worse times can be during the holiday season. It hurts to remember past, happy Thanksgivings that will never happen again. Or it reminds everyone of dreadful holidays filled with fighting. The holiday season is presented to us as filled with magic and wonder, and cute children’s movies with loving parents and happy homes, and children are asked what they want, what they wish for, and as well as a Nintendo Wii and skinny jeans they really wish their mom and dad could both be with them.

When I was a kid, I remember being shuttled between two or three different houses on Christmas day (and most other holidays) so all the relations, grannies, aunties etc.. could be visited because everyone insisted they had to see people on Christmas Day (or else.)

My son is just a toddler so I’m glad he’s too young to have memories of horrendous Thanksgiving days. This is my first Thanksgiving as a single mom and I know that this year is going to be difficult, and probably for a few more years to come.

I found this page of tips for single moms at Thanksgiving, and most of the advice can apply equally to dads too. It reminded me that although it’s going to be hard over the holidays, the reason for this holiday is giving thanks. And I’m so, so thankful that I have people that I love and care about, we can afford to make dinner, we have a cute, warm little apartment, and most importantly, that I have a wonderful healthy son who I love more than anything. I can’t even begin to express how thankful I am for him.

We’ll get through Thanksgiving day. At least it will be interesting, and maybe there will even be some fun moments.

Wishing everyone a happy, safe, and fun Thanksgiving!

With Thanksgiving on the horizon?I’m reminded of the Thanksgiving not too long ago that went really, really wrong.? I wasn’t the hostess so it wasn’t like I was the one who felt the bulk of frustration for everything that happened, but since the hostess was a friend of mine I could feel her frustration.

My friend always puts on a perfect event.? She reminds me a lot of Martha Stewart in the sense that everything has to be perfect whenever she has people over.? Our daughters were both about to turn three, and since we don’t have any family nearby she invited us over for Thanksgiving to join some other members of her family.? It was a sweet gesture and we eagerly accepted the invitation.

When we arrived I noticed tension in the air immediately.? It became obvious that her mother was driving her a little crazy.? Every so often her mother would march up to my friend and tell her about something she was doing wrong.? “Darling,” she would say, breathless and condescending, “don’t you think we should start seating the guests?” To this my friend would snap back, “Mo-ther, this is MY party and MY guests and I will do things as I choose!”? Then she would take a deep breath and pleasantly announce that it was time to find our seats.

You have to understand that I grew up with very laid-back parents.? I was also brought up as a strict vegetarian, so you can imagine what our Thanksgivings were like.? Picture pizza and soda and lounging on a sofa.

I wasn’t sure how to react to the tension, so I ignored it.? Then my friend’s mom brought me into it.? “Tamsen, how old is your daughter? She must be older than my granddaughter.”

“No,” I replied.? “Your granddaughter is actually a couple of months older than my daughter.”

To this she gasped and then dramatically declared, “My goodness! Your daughter speaks so much more eloquently than my granddaughter! I just can’t get over the difference!” She then turned to my friend and said, “Darling, doesn’t she speak really well?”

Through gritted teeth my friend replied,? “Yes, Mo-ther, she speaks well.”? You might think this would be enough to make my friend’s head explode, but?her mother wouldn’t drop?it.? All through the meal, whenever my daughter would say something, my friend’s mother would make a face as though she?had just?encountered something fabulous.

My husband and I were incredibly uncomfortable.? We started to make motions to each other that it was time to leave, when all of a sudden my friend’s daughter threw up all over the place.??Not only did my friend shriek and lunge for a carpet cleaner she had in an adjoining room, but I swear her mother stood there with a look on her face that indicated that she was incredibly disappointed that her granddaughter would?dare to throw up on such an important holiday.

We left soon thereafter.? My friend never called me again.

I tried to call her a few times but she was very cold. I later found out through the grapevine that her daughter had delays in speech and was seeing a speech?therapist, so I can only imagine how tough it was to deal with her mom lamenting about my daughter’s verbal ability.

This year we’re going to a different friend’s house, and my kids will be the only kids present.? Unless my?friend wants to compare her dogs to our kids I don’t think we’ll get another experience with fierce?rivalry.