It’s awful when our little ones get sick. Then, once we have cuddled them and soothed them and worried about them and stayed up with a coughing baby, and sent our husbands out to buy Motrin at 4 a.m., they get better, and we get sick with the same thing.

It’s winter, which means coughs, colds, the flu, and there’s some kind of stomach virus going around where I live right now. We seemed to have lucked out, until last week when my kids turned into poor little miserable snotty things. I kept praying that I wouldn’t get it too… but come Friday, both Daycare Baby and Toddler are gleeful bundles of energy again and I’m feeling like the Grateful Dead are playing a gig in my head. My legs are taking three seconds to respond to commands from my brain and if my teeth didn’t hurt, I’d hurl if I wanted to try to eat anything.

I have eight hours of daycare Baby, and everyone – Daycare Baby’s parents, my boyfriend, me – we all need to go to work, no break for anyone in these cash-strapped times, so there’s nothing to be done but to get on with it. At least I’m not going to make the kids sick, since they gave whatever it is to me.

The plan, if it can be called such a thing, is to lie on the floor and let the usual rules go. Safety rules, such as absolutely no whacking Daycare Baby with a saucepan, and no playing with the stove, stay. Things that make the house untidy meet feeble resistance from me, but I figure if they are happy and occupied I can rest and clean up when I feel better.

Toddler removes all the paper from the printer. Daycare Baby removes all the Tupperware from the kitchen cupboard. Toddler starts doing art. Daycare Baby empties a basket of clean laundry and rolls around in it and drools. Toddler experiments with which Tupperware containers he can stand in. He’s disappointed that I don’t have any Tupperware that Daycare Baby will fit into.

I’m glad I live in a little apartment in which if I lie in a strategic place I can see just about everywhere at once and keep an eye on both of them. I haul myself up and change diapers, and with that herculean task done, lie down again.

Toddler takes all the cushions on the couch and jumps around on them. Daycare baby finds the printer paper and starts shredding it. Toddler starts singing Hannah Montana song. “Singing” means that he knows one line from one Hannah Montana song, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. Daycare baby is delighted by the entertainment and there’s nothing that can make my head hurt any more so whatever.

It’s Daycare Baby’s nap time. I get her to sleep, and deploy the ultimate toddler distraction: TV. We have Cars on DVD. I cuddle up with Toddler in the heap of couch cushions, he watches and I snooze for an hour.

More tea for me, more Motrin, I feel slightly less subhuman, at least just enough to make lunch for the kids. Only a couple of hours to go.

I know most of Toddler’s books by heart, so we spend some time reading, which I can do with my eyes closed. The rest of the afternoon passes in somewhat of a blur, then Daycare Baby’s mom comes to pick her up, and then Toddler does some painting, mostly on himself, and then I feed him dinner, wipe him down, watch the rest of Cars, and mercifully it’s bedtime for both of us.

Saturday morning, I still feel like I’ve been whacked in the head with a saucepan but at least I can function with the aid of maximum dose of Motrin allowed and about a gallon of tea. By Saturday afternoon I’m just about fine again. Whatever it was made the kids feel sick for a couple of days, and hit me harder but was much shorter-lived.

So what should you do when you get sick? The best thing to do is to find someone to watch your kids while you sleep and get better, but often that’s not an option. I think that the next-best thing is to have things that are usually not allowed and let the kids play with those when you are sick. My toddler rarely watches TV so Cars was a big treat.

I think what I’ll do to prepare for next time, since sickness is inevitable, is organize a box of new and interesting toys, to be gotten down only in a sick mom emergency, as something to entertain the kids and keep them happy and I won’t need to do much except try not to hurl.  99c stores, the dollar section at Target, sale items, safe but usually forbidden household items, new art supplies, are all good and fairly inexpensive resources for things to put in the kit.

OK, now I need to go and do that basket of laundry again and wash the tupperware. I wish you and your babies a healthy winter, and a speedy recover to any of you who are sick!

There is a commercial on TV for our cable provider that irritates me to no end.  It starts with a toddler watching a favorite character on  a television show, then the toddler moves into the car and watches the same character on a screen in the car, then the toddler goes into the mall to meet this character and then flips out when he sees him in person.  He starts crying in fear, his mom comforts him, and the way she gets him to calm down is by wheeling him out of the mall in a stroller while he watches the character on a portable handheld screen.  At the end of the show, the spokesperson says something about how the digital age is coming.

If the “digital age” means my young kids are constantly plugged into electronics and getting freaked out about the real world around them then I really would rather not be a part of the digital age, thank you very much.

I know a lot of parents are up in arms about the amount of television their kids watch, but with video games and other electronic devises being marketed to babies nowadays I wonder if people realize that video games are in the same boat as television.  Both promote inactivity (with the exception of certain video games that are designed to get kids moving) and free play that utilizes imagination.

At a recent play date my preschool daughter stumbled upon her friend’s game system and had so much fun with it that she stopped socializing with everyone and retreated to a corner to play the games until I made her go play with her friends.  My son – who is not yet at an age when he should be playing video games – was right there next to her, staring wide-eyed at the screen and not interacting with anyone.

Don’t get me wrong; I see the potential benefits of having my kids glued to the screen whenever they wanted to, whether they’re watching TV or playing video games.  I would probably get a lot more done during the day and there would probably be a lot less bickering too.  I also imagine that both my kids could learn a lot if they watched the right shows and played educational games.  What about the downside? I think the cons outweigh the pros.  I want my kids to be active and I want them to know how to entertain themselves.  I want them to use their imagination and I want to interact with them instead of relying on games or shows to keep them engaged.

This doesn’t mean my kids don’t watch any TV at all, and we do have a Leapster.  On the other hand, I closely monitor how much they watch/play and make sure that I’m engaging them in other interesting things too.  I just don’t want my kids to turn into little digitally-reliant children who would rather play a video game than notice the world around them.

I try to limit the amount of television my kids watch, although they do indeed watch some almost every day. In a perfect world we wouldn’t watch any television, but since my world is far from perfect there are times when the kids win in their quest to get the TV turned on.

Although my kids get to watch some commercial-free TV at home, I draw the line at getting a TV screen installed into the car. I see far too many families driving around our city with the kids glued to the TV that’s going on in the back of the minivan. The parent who is driving isn’t engaging the kids in talking, the kids aren’t glancing outside of the car or looking through books, and all in all I’m sure it’s a quiet ride…but a potentially mind-numbing one.

My kids were allowed to watch TV in the car for one trip, and that was an eight hour drive. They didn’t watch the TV for the entire time and I was actually pretty happy on the return trip when the portable DVD player stopped working and we were all forced to talk about the things we saw outside. I have nothing against watching movies on long rides, but really…do we need to turn the TV on for the ride home from the grocery store? How are parents finding out about their kids’ days if they flip on the TV the second they pick them up from school or daycare?

Don’t families talk in the car anymore?

I try to take advantage of somewhat long drives by playing different types of music and having the kids compare them. Even when my kids were very young babies I tried to talk to them about the things that were out the car window and enjoy music while in the car. I don’t want my kids plugged in all the time. I want them to be able to enjoy their surroundings and use their imaginations.

Last week, France banned television shows aimed at the under threes. US channels like BabyFirstTV and Baby TV air in France. Legislators, concerned about possible developmental delays in babies who watch too much TV, called the BabyFirstTV and Baby TV channels a “danger”, and these channels will be going off-air in France.

French cable broadcasters that show foreign channels with baby programming will have to broadcast a warning message that reads: ?Watching television can slow the development of children under three, even when it involves channels aimed specifically at them.?

According to the French legislators, ?Television viewing hurts the development of children under three years old and poses a certain number of risks, encouraging passivity, slow language acquisition, over-excitedness, troubles with sleep and concentration as well as dependence on screens.?

I can see their point, especially reading this from Baby TV’s website,

“Baby TV was conceived following a sleepless night spent rewinding a baby video at the demand of an unrelenting toddler. Our creators imagined a service which offered easy access to programming specifically designed for babies around the clock.”

Are you disturbed by this too? What reason could there be to stay up all night with a toddler who wanted to watch a video? Why wasn’t the kid in bed? Even if this toddler was sick, watching a video surely isn’t the answer? Wouldn’t it be more soothing to read a book, or listen to music instead? And when my toddler demands something, it doesn’t mean he gets it.

The American Association of Pediatricians concurs with the French: they recommend NO television for children under two, and limited viewing hours for pre-schoolers.

BabyFirstTV clearly disagrees. The subscription-based channel says that “BabyFirstTV is an interactive tool for parents to engage their infants and toddlers ranging from 6 months to 3 years.”

I don’t like being told what to do, or what not to do, and that responsible parents should be able to make their own decisions about how much television their children can and can’t watch. I think it’s somewhat draconian to say NO TV EVER as it’s occasional use has been very helpful in my house. My son doesn’t watch much TV at all, but when I got sick recently, being able to lie on the couch and doze while my son watched an hour of Barney was a blessing.

So I think the French legislation, while well intentioned, is ultimately going to be ineffective for keeping babies from television. Surely French parents are just going to sit their babies and toddlers in front of programs aimed at the over threes? Including programs with violence and themes that might be disturbing to very young children?

Here’s some tips for managing and limiting kid’s TV time.

What do you think? Was France right to ban baby television channels? Do you think America should ban baby TV shows too?

Seeing as though the Summer Olympics comes around every four years, I believe it is important to watch them actively each time. Admittedly, I haven’t watched as much as I have in the past, but this is due to the fact that I have a child now and don’t want to sit glued to the television all day long, which is topic for another post in itself!

This is my daughter’s first exposure to the Olympics and I am very excited to share the experience with her. I remember being so excited to watch the Olympics as a child. I always felt so inspired by the commitment of the athletes. The Olympians truly are role models to children and adults alike. We can learn so much from their dedication, commitment, focus, strength and personal goals.

I am enjoying watching my daughter during her exposure to the Olympics. Her little mind is learning so many new concepts like the different countries and flags, exposure to sports and competition and winning medals.

What I am finding most interesting is how she is soaking in all of the information. This afternoon, we were outside playing and she wanted to enter a “skipping competition”. I was to be the judge and hand out the “prizes” when SHE won–every.single.time! Then she did mention the word participation, but she still expected a prize. Clearly, we still have a far way to go when explaining games, sports, sportsmanship and playing for more reasons than to win! Time and more exposure will certainly help her in this area of understanding.

It is fun watching the Olympics with a three year old, but it can be frustrating at times as well.

My daughter hasn’t grasped the concept that when other people are in the room, she should be careful where she stands to see the television. She usually chooses her spot right in front of the television every time she stops to take a look. Her constant questions also make it is difficult to enjoy or focus on the events as an adult. I have learned that my personal enjoyment from the Olympics comes at night after she goes to bed and any daytime viewing that we may do together is purely for her, her enjoyment and her “education”. Since the Olympics started, I don’t think there has been a night where I have made it to bed at my usual bedtime.

Please don’t get me wrong, I do love watching the Olympics with my daughter. I am very happy that she is interested in watching them me.

Are your children interested in watching the Olympics?

Times have been tough lately. What have you done to economize? I’ve been biking more and driving less, shopping for only seasonal produce, and I had my cable TV disconnected and replaced by a Netflix subscription (update: don’t miss television at all!)

Some women are considering more interesting options to help with their finances. Fertility clinics are reporting increasing numbers of women offering their services as egg donors or surrogate mothers. Donating eggs can pay around $4,000 and being a surrogate mom around $20,000 or more.

Donating an egg requires a couple of weeks of hormone treatments and several doctors visits. Some women have no side effects, but the majority of women suffer from some degree of nausea, cramps, or mood swings. Around 6% develop ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, where thirty or more eggs start to develop at once, and fluid leaks out of blood vessels, collects in the abdomen, causing nausea, bloating and very occasionally kidney failure or even death.

There’s no real data on the long-term effects of the hormones used in egg donation, which makes experts worry over women donating eggs for money.

Donating an egg or being a surrogate is a wonderful giving act. But women considering donating an egg should also consider their own health before the financial gain.

At the grocery store, I am confronted by front page pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears and her new baby while waiting to checkout. I might not even be inclined to notice too much except for the fact that my teenage daughter points the magazine out. The headline proclaims how being a mom is the best thing in the world.

I agree that being a mom is a great thing. I love children, which is why I have 5 of them. I?m thrilled for Jamie Lynn that she is happy being a mom. I?m not sure I?m happy about the message this article is sending to my teenage daughters though.

My daughters never expressed an interest in Jamie Lynn?s TV show on Nickelodeon until after the pregnancy news broke. It seemed all of their friends were speaking about it and they were curious to see what all the drama was about. A teenage star who was pregnant! They asked to watch the show and I have to say that I said no because their motives concerned me.

I had my first child when I was 22. Unlike Jamie Lynn, I worried about how I was going to pay the electric bill and buy diapers. I bought most of my nursery items at the second hand store, or people gave me what they were done using. My daughter wore a lot of hand me downs. I learned a lot about priorities and parenthood during my child?s early years?as do most parents.

The reality is that while being a mom is great, it is hard work. Mothering means putting aside your selfish ways and putting the needs of another human being before yours. It means sacrificing. These are tough concepts for adults, let alone a teenager. I wonder if the magazine article addressed the difficult issues of parenting, or did it just gloss over this?

What do you think? Did this magazine cover story and article glamorize teen pregnancy? Does this concern you?

A couple of months ago, a friend gave my son a couple of Barney books.

Her: These are for your son. Enjoy!

(Translation: I was too embarrassed to give them to the thrift store, i feel eco-evil tossing them in the trash, and I sure don’t want them in my house. Here, you have them. Bwahahahahhaha!)

Me: Thank you!

(Translation: Thanky… Oh geez, Barney?!? How could you do this to me?)

Of course, my toddler totally fell in love with Barney and his hideous singing friends and it’s part of the reason I recently had my TV disconnected. The primary reason was serious lack of cash and no time to ever watch anything, but no Barney is a major advantage of no cable.

Kid’s television is almost universally annoying to adults. Barney, Caillou, Elmo and Thomas the Train comprise my personal hit-list of squeaky, whiney voices and inanely cheerful characters who all make me want to rip the cable out of the TV. Oh, wait, I kinda already did that.

Anyway, there’s must be some parents in the army who feel the same way I do about Barney. The US military’s most overused torture song is Barney’s I Love You song. Playing loud music on repeat with no respite, is, apparently, an officially sanctioned technique to make prisoners talk.

Imagine hearing that over and over again at full volume for a couple of days and I’m not surprised prisoners begin to loose their minds and get willing to talk. Just typing the last sentences got that obnoxious song stuck in my mind. (By the way – the cure for a song stuck in your head, is listening to another song, preferable loudly, to obliterate/replace it. I don’t want you to suffer.)

So, if you don’t want to go for the final solution and unhook your TV, I invite you to use the comment space below to vent, scream and shout at your child’s favorite television character. Please let it all out. Phew.

The American Academy of Pediatrics says that children under two should not watch any TV. Thanks for the extra mom guilt, AAP.

This recommendation was clearly not written by a single mom who needed to cook dinner, and considered it the lesser of two evils to plop her toddler in front of Bob the Builder so he would stay put and not get under her feet and have boiling water tipped on his head.

I don’t know if there’s an AAP recommendation against dropping boiling water on your kid, and whether it was considered when they drafted the TV recommendation, but they should have.

I’m not in favor of unrestricted TV watching, or having it burbling in the background all the time. Just about the only time my son watches television is ten minutes every other day when I’m cooking, or when I had a horrendous cold and ear infection and couldn’t move without the room spinning.

I just think it’s a bit draconian to say no TV ever. Sitting until their eyes go square and their brain starts dribbling out of their ear = bad. A couple of minutes of child-friendly TV = not bad.

Especially if you watch it with them, and talk about the show, ask them questions, and talk about what the message of the show was – most kids programs have one, like sharing or helping. If your kid starts picking up stuff he dropped because someone in Clifford the Big Red Dog did, that’s great, and it doesn’t matter where he got the idea.

I think my job as a parent is to set an example of healthy TV watching – turn it on for a particular show, watch that show, turn it off, go do something else. And I hope that will stick with him, and he won’t be a couch potato when he grows up.

I had lunch with a group of ladies the other day. We were a multicultural bunch, coming from different countries and cultures from the US, UK, Canada, Germany, and Asia. We had several things in common though we all spoke English, we were all expats in Switzerland, and we were all moms of kids ranging in age one-and-half and five years old.

Somehow the discussion turned towards TV and I was surprised to hear how diverse our opinions and practices are in terms of TV times. To make a long story short, some moms think 1 to 2 hours of TV time per day for preschoolers are OK while 1 mom advocates total abstinence. I am sort of in the middle of the road, my 5-year old twins spend on the average, 20 minutes a day in front of the TV.

We all have our reasons to justify our TV policies at home. Mine is pure and simple: I’d rather that my kids move than sit quietly the whole day.

A review in the New York Times cited several studies showing the not-so-beneficial effect of the presence of TV in the bedroom of children of all ages, as follows:

• Kids with TVs in their own bedrooms have an average viewing time of 21 to 30 hours a week.
• Kids who have TVs in their bedrooms normally have lower scores on school tests and are more likely to have sleeping problems.
• 70 % of the children with bedroom TV consistently performed poorly in maths, reading and language-arts tests.
• Preschoolers with bedroom TVs are more likely to be overweight, most especially the boys.
• Kindergarten kids with bedroom TVs tend to have more sleep problems and less “emotionally reactive”.
• Middle-school students (12 to 14 years old) with bedroom TVs are twice as likely to start smoking.

The mechanisms behind the impact of TV on children’s health and school performance are not well-understood. However, distraction during homework time and disturbed sleep are direct effects of TV that result in poorer performance at school. More disturbing, however, is the fact that the presence of a TV in a child’s bedroom can suggest less than optimal parental involvement with the child. The NYT article estimates that half of the children in the US have their own TV sets in their bedrooms.

One of the ladies in our luncheon group declared she deserves some rest, even if only for an hour, and TV at the midday in the kid’s room gives her a well-needed break from her toddler and preschooler. I can see her point. Indeed, motherhood can be pretty challenging and we moms need a break to recharge. But this does not justify using the TV as a babysitter. It will tend to become habit-forming for mom as well as for the kids.

So how do I keep my kids busy with resorting to TV? They draw, they read, they play, they cut pieces of paper and literally turn the house upside down. And when do I get my break? I don’t. I simply put them to bed early, clean up, and have my well-deserved rest at night.

How about you? What are your house rules regarding TV?

Related posts:

Kill your TV?.maybe

TV is the Enemy

You have probably heard by now that your old television set isn’t going to work anymore after February 19, 2009. All television transmissions will be broadcast in Hi-Def, which will render your old bunny-ears-antennas useless. T.V’s will then require a Hi-Def decoder box in order to bring you your favorite programs, unless you are a cable or satellite subscriber. Fortunately, the government is providing us with a coupon that will make the transition a little less painful, for your wallet anyway.

There are some things, however, that you should take into consideration when upgrading your old television to the new standard…

CNN presenter Nancy Grace returns to our screens tonight after the birth of her twins. 47-year-old Nancy delivered Lucy Elizabeth and John David on November 4th, 2007.

CNN released a video of mom and babies today.

Nancy looks incredibly chic and well after a fraught pregnancy, delivery and post-partum period. She suffered many complications during the pregnancy, and was forced to deliver two months early because of a buildup of fluid in her lungs. She was hospitalized again after delivery with life-threatening blood clots in her lungs.

Her babies were tiny, John weighed 5 pounds, 1 ounce, and especially Lucy, who weighed 2 pounds, 15 ounces. Both spent time in the neonatal intensive care unit before coming home. They’ve both gained over two pounds each since, and Nancy says they are both doing well.

Nancy returns to work only two months after delivery. But with everything her and her babies have been through, is it too soon for her?

I’m wishing Nancy and her family the best. She certainly seems to be thrilled with motherhood, and hoping she has an easy transition to working motherhood.

When you have a toddler, sometimes you need a break. One of the easiest ways is to turn on the television, but there?s so much junk on that you need to be choosy.

PBS has a new show, called Super Why! which is a homerun for my 2.5-year-old daughter. Each episode starts with a problem in the ?real world,? where the main characters encounter someone who needs help. The problem is always a life skill that a preschooler might encounter. For instance, one storyline was about a girl who kept knocking down a little boy?s block towers.

The Super Readers then use popular fairy tale stories to investigate a solution to the problem. In the storyline above, the answer was to make friends with the girl, something a preschool-aged child might have to do in real life. Along the way the TV viewer helps point out Super Letters that will eventually spell out the answer.

My daughter already loves letters and words, but this show really piques her interest. I can hear her trying to answer the questions, sounding out letters with the Super Readers (who use phonics when discussing words and letters), and having a lot of fun with the show. I love how the show encourages her to interact. The characters ask the viewer, Super You, what letters are on the screen, or what word might help change a situation.

Super Why! also teaches the reading of sentences using context. A word is ?zapped? out of a sentence in each episode, and the viewer is asked which word might work in its place. Even better, they help the viewer figure out each word using phonetics or certain letters in the word. For example, ?I think the word ?good? begins with the letter ?g?.?

Besides teaching the alphabet with a cute new alphabet tune, the show teaches life skills. Toddlers and preschoolers learn valuable lessons like sharing, making friends, communicating with their peers, and more. The show is aimed at 3 to 5 year old children. So for now, my 2.5 year old loves to mimic the songs, dances, and letter sounds she hears.

I highly recommend it as a great way to pass the time while you?re at home with your little one. I even tape it each day, because my daughter often asks me if she can watch it again. This is one show I have no problem letting her view over and over again.