I used to be an office-based working mom. Currently I am a work at home mom (wahm), which unfortunately, many people don’t take seriously as work. But I am a working mom and my kids are at a childcare facility while I am typing this on my home computer.

It is with trepidation that I present the results of a study here that will surely illicit strong reactions from other working moms out there, reactions that may probably range from outrage, defensiveness, to guilt.

Kids of Working Moms Are Less Healthy

It’s true, according to a study reported by MSNBC. British researchers looked at 12,500 children aged 9 months to 5 years and analyzed their dietary habits and physical activity. The results showed that kids of working moms, regardless of their race, maternal education, job level or whether they are working full time or part-time, are less healthy. For example, they are more likely to eat junk food and spend more time in front of the TV or the computer. In addition, they are more likely to be driven to school and snack on chips and sweetened drinks. The researchers put the blame on the time constraints of working moms.

Now, before we overreact and blast the researchers for their bias against working women, let’s take a deep breath and look at ourselves and our family whether there is any truth to their findings. And if your first thought would be “I don’t have time for this,” then they’re right.¨

I suggest that we take the results of the study as a constructive criticism and an opportunity to check out our current lifestyle. There is a lot that we can do and here are my suggestions:

What’s in the Fridge?

If there’s no or very little produce in your fridge or in your pantry, then you have to rethink your family’s dietary habits. There are fresh produce that keeps long and this includes tomatoes, cucumber, bananas capsicum, and apples. Incorporate these into your shopping list and weekly menus.

What’s in Your Child’s Lunchbox?

If there are only potato chips, cookies or peanut butter sandwiches in there, then there’s something missing. An apple or a banana would be a health addition. Apples are especially great – they keep, they are sturdy, and can fit in a pocket. Choose the sweet varieties such as gala, pink lady or golden delicious.

Junk Food

Another British study reported that people who consume too much sweets as children have a tendency towards aggression in adulthood. So why do some of us keep buying junk food for our family against our better judgement? Some suggest it may be guilt, that those treats are our way of saying sorry for not spending enough time with our kids. Some people think if they don’t get it at home, they’ll get it somewhere else. In a previous post, I’ve listed some tips on children’s nutrition.

Communicate With Your Child.

How did his/her day go? If it’s just all about TV shows or video games, then it’s time to look for alternatives. What about a sports club? Soccer and tennis camps during the holidays? Active family outings on the weekends? Don’t wait until your child becomes overweight. The earlier they start the better.

Childcare

It is not easy to find the perfect childcare provider but we should make the effort to monitor what kind of care is being provided. My twin boys started at a daycare at 12 months, preschool-daycare at 3 years. Now at 1st grade, they attend after school childcare provided by our town. In other words, I’ve had experience about checking out childcare facilities. I, for one, wouldn’t go for a daycare with a TV set. I talk to the caregivers about the daily activities and compare their version with my child’s version. It’s not that I don’t trust them. I simply want to know whether I am getting my money’s worth. Yes, I pay for childcare and I make sure that as the customer, my child gets what he/she needs in terms of healthy food and physical exercise. The same goes if you have a nanny or a babysitter coming in. I am not saying you have to install a nanny cam at home but if we need crosschecks at work, there should also be some at home.

Some of us may not have the means to pay for childcare. A family member such as grandma or aunt might have to pitch in to help with the child care. Check their dietary and exercise habits. Talk to them about nutrition and health. A healthy child needs a healthy caregiver.

Look Within

Your diet and physical activity level reflects that of your family. What you eat at breakfast and at suppertime, your children eat. You are their role model and they learn your good and bad habits. A workout or a run is a great way to wind down. But how do you include your children into your adult exercise routine? Do cycling or inline skating together. I am not keen on both so my kids do either why I jog along side. It helps me keep up my pace. Check out Mrs.H’s list of habits of a healthy family.

I know that as working moms, we are juggling too many things at the same time: motherhood, job, marriage. It is difficult to be a career woman and the perfect mom at the same time. But hey, it’s not about being perfect that counts. It’s about being happy and healthy.

I’m a firm believer that stay at home parents need to make sure that they have something going on beyond their kids.  I don’t mean that everyone needs to work or that there is anything wrong with making your kids your main priority, but instead I’m saying that if there was ever a time to do something for yourself then now is the time…especially since you undoubtedly spend a bunch of time making sure that everyone else in your family is taken care of and you sometimes probably forget to take care of yourself.

For me it’s writing.  For one friend of mine it’s graduate school (one class at a time).  Another friend of mine spends a little bit of every day pursuing her passion for photography and another stay at home mom I know is wild about scrapbooking so she sets a little bit of time aside every day to work on her latest project.

I have another friend who is a stay at home mom but is absolutely bonkers over BUNKO.  She hosts parties once a month and spends a little bit of her day planning the next party because she enjoys it so much.

The thing that we all have in common is that even though our main priority is caring for our children, we all still have something that is just ours. It’s not like any of us can devote a great deal of time to our passions and hobbies, but the fact that we do still pursue the things we love help us to remember that beyond being moms and dads we’re also individuals. When I sit down to write, I’m still The Mom but I’m also an adult who is doing something she loves, and it feels great.

You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking some time for yourself to indulge in a hobby or career pursuit because you’ll probably be a better mom or dad when you get little breaks.  Besides, breaks are always a little better when they allow you to do something you want to do, right?

If you don’t know what your passion is then now is the time to figure it out.  You never know when your fun hobby might turn into something profitable, like with my writing or with my friend’s photography, but there’s nothing wrong – or self indulgent – about pursuing your passion while staying at home with children even if your hobby has no potential to be a career.

Today I stopped by a friend’s house unannounced to drop off a flyer for a church function. Actually, I didn’t think she was going to be there so I didn’t think it was a rude move since I would just slip the flyer under her door and call her later. It turns out she was there, and before I could apologize for stopping by without an invite she blurted out, “Hi! My house is a mess!”

I got to thinking about how I would react if someone were to stop by my house unannounced and I really think that the first words out of my mouth would be along the same lines. I long ago came to grips with the fact that if I’m going to work from home while raising my two kids there is an excellent chance that the majority of the time my house is not going to be guest-ready. Don’t get me wrong…I clean up if I know that someone is going to come over, but on a day to day basis there are toys on the floor, dishes in the sink, and I swear the unfolded clothes on the couch are silently mocking me.

Why should I feel guilty about this? My first priority is to make sure that the kids are okay, my second priority is to make sure that my deadlines are met, and my third priority is to make sure the house is in good order. I’d say that if I make it all the way down that tier and have everything set then it’s a really, really good day.

Today’s experience with my friend helped me to realize that I’m not the only mom with a messy house. You may laugh that I actually needed that revelation, but sometimes I think we forget how difficult a job it is to keep kids content and relatively injury-free. If our houses are a little messy but our kids are thriving, then I think that’s a pretty good trade-off, isn’t it?

I am in continual wonder of the subculture I entered when I decided to stay home with my babies instead of heading back to work. Stay at home moms are a hearty breed of women, but it can be an awfully lonely occupation. Sometimes there are days when I don’t get to talk to another adult until my husband walks in the door, and then I assault the poor man with conversation.

I was watching a dad at a play area with his kids and I started to wonder if it’s even lonelier being a stay at home dad. At least with stay at home moms we can spot each other by the dazed looks on our faces and the kids circling around us. We can always strike up conversations with other SAHMs because we know that there will always be some common denominator to discuss: kids.

With dads, though, I wonder how much the gender issue comes into play. Are SAHDs afraid to approach women to chat because they are afraid the women will think it’s an attempt at flirting? Obviously, a SAHD probably can’t suggest a playdate at his house like a SAHM can to another woman…at least not without raising a couple of eyebrows.

My days are always more fun when I can get together with other SAHMs and let out kids play themselves into exhaustion. I wonder if SAHDs have the same resources as we do? They are definitely the minority, so it’s probably harder to find other men to hang out with who are in the same position.

Stay at home dads, I applaud you. I think it’s awesome that your kids have the benefit of having a parent at home, and I think it’s great that you can tackle a role traditionally held by women.

Rock on, SAHDs.

Before I started working from home I was a full-fledged stay-at-home mom with nothing more on my plate than caring for my babies and the house (as if that wasn’t enough, right?). I was the first to admit to anyone who would listen that staying home with babies was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Believe me…I went through military basic training, and that was a cake walk compared to some days I have with these kids.

Now that I have an income and am considered gainfully employed, I have the unique opportunity to fit into both spectrums of moms: The Working Mother and the Stay-at-Home Mother. I’ve heard interesting comments from both sides, but the consensus seems to be this: SAHMs are mystified that some moms can leave their kids in daycare or with a nanny all day, and working moms often wonder what in the world it is that SAHMs do all day. I actually had a friend of mine who is a working mother ask me in a truly perplexed voice, “What do stay-at-home moms do all day?” She honestly didn’t know.

So here are the answers as I can best reply, based on my experience and the experience of other moms I have talked to:

“How can moms leave their babies at daycare all day?” Some moms just have to, and some moms don’t have a problem with it because they get a kick out of their careers and they know their babies are in a stimulating environment. A lot of moms have a terrible time with dropping their babies off initially, but for many moms this just becomes a routine.

“What do SAHMs do all day?” Cook, clean, change poopy diapers, play with the baby, go grocery shopping, change more poopy diapers, run errands for the working spouse, and anything else that needs to be done. The next day, repeat it all over again.

The moral of the story is that neither working moms or SAHMs have it all figure out. Regardless of what route you choose – whether it’s staying at home or going back to work – make sure it’s the right decision for you.

I have found that having two kids has required that I have twice as much attention for them. The love expanded with no problems with my daughter’s birth, but the attention has been harder to multiply.

It was easy when my daughter was still breastfeeding and I could read to my son so he didn’t feel left out and keep him occupied while I was feeding his sister. I also found out fairly quickly how many things you can do one-handed while breastfeeding, like pour milk or juice into a sippy cup, make Spaghettios, or find a lost toy. You become pretty resourceful when you’re breastfeeding an infant and you also have a two-year-old whining and tugging on your sleeve asking for chocolate milk. But, as my newborn daughter gets older it has become even harder to have enough attention for both of them at the same time.

For example, it is inevitable that my son needs a snack or drink as soon as I sit down to give my daughter a bottle. Unfortunately, I can’t bottle-feed one-handed, so I’m stuck – unable to do both things for my kids at once. So, since my daughter can’t quite understand “Hold on one second,” my son has to learn a little patience. And, in case you were wondering, this is not an easy concept for a two-year-old to learn.

Although I stress about this and wonder whether my children are significantly affected by my inability to duplicate myself and satisfy both child’s needs at once, I think in the end they will be okay. After all, they are learning (at their young ages) that you have to wait for things you want sometimes and that things you want don’t come to you immediately.

In the meantime, I’ll still wish there were two of me at times, but I’ll multitask to the best of my ability. I’ll also be relishing those very rare occasions when both children are napping and I can focus my attention on what I want to do – you know, like laundry, dishes, vacuuming….

Every morning, I kiss my kids and my husband and say “I’ve got to go to work, see you at 12!” Then I stumble down the hallway in my pajamas to my office where I bang away at the keyboard for several hours.

I’m blessed. I’m a freelance writer and I get to work from home. I thought it would be less stressful, but not really. If I worked outside the home I would be far less tempted to stop what I’m doing and run to give someone zerberts on their tummy. If I worked outside the home I’d be able to concentrate on work and not focus on how much I hate Barney – who is singing non-stop downstairs.

But, I remind myself, if I wasn’t here I couldn’t take a lunch break and get my daughter ready for afternoon preschool, ensuring she doesn’t look a hot mess like she would if her dad had dressed her and combed her hair. He’s a wonderful father and husband, but he can’t braid worth a darn.

I wouldn’t be able to rearrange my schedule so the girls could go to playgroups with my moms group. I couldn’t volunteer at Liv’s school during the day and there would certainly be no stolen moments of mid-morning patty cake with Bri. If I wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be able to hear them playing, laughing and living throughout the day. That’s way better than listening to muzak float from the elevator into your office!