I’m a firm believer that stay at home parents need to make sure that they have something going on beyond their kids.  I don’t mean that everyone needs to work or that there is anything wrong with making your kids your main priority, but instead I’m saying that if there was ever a time to do something for yourself then now is the time…especially since you undoubtedly spend a bunch of time making sure that everyone else in your family is taken care of and you sometimes probably forget to take care of yourself.

For me it’s writing.  For one friend of mine it’s graduate school (one class at a time).  Another friend of mine spends a little bit of every day pursuing her passion for photography and another stay at home mom I know is wild about scrapbooking so she sets a little bit of time aside every day to work on her latest project.

I have another friend who is a stay at home mom but is absolutely bonkers over BUNKO.  She hosts parties once a month and spends a little bit of her day planning the next party because she enjoys it so much.

The thing that we all have in common is that even though our main priority is caring for our children, we all still have something that is just ours. It’s not like any of us can devote a great deal of time to our passions and hobbies, but the fact that we do still pursue the things we love help us to remember that beyond being moms and dads we’re also individuals. When I sit down to write, I’m still The Mom but I’m also an adult who is doing something she loves, and it feels great.

You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking some time for yourself to indulge in a hobby or career pursuit because you’ll probably be a better mom or dad when you get little breaks.  Besides, breaks are always a little better when they allow you to do something you want to do, right?

If you don’t know what your passion is then now is the time to figure it out.  You never know when your fun hobby might turn into something profitable, like with my writing or with my friend’s photography, but there’s nothing wrong – or self indulgent – about pursuing your passion while staying at home with children even if your hobby has no potential to be a career.

I am in continual wonder of the subculture I entered when I decided to stay home with my babies instead of heading back to work. Stay at home moms are a hearty breed of women, but it can be an awfully lonely occupation. Sometimes there are days when I don’t get to talk to another adult until my husband walks in the door, and then I assault the poor man with conversation.

I was watching a dad at a play area with his kids and I started to wonder if it’s even lonelier being a stay at home dad. At least with stay at home moms we can spot each other by the dazed looks on our faces and the kids circling around us. We can always strike up conversations with other SAHMs because we know that there will always be some common denominator to discuss: kids.

With dads, though, I wonder how much the gender issue comes into play. Are SAHDs afraid to approach women to chat because they are afraid the women will think it’s an attempt at flirting? Obviously, a SAHD probably can’t suggest a playdate at his house like a SAHM can to another woman…at least not without raising a couple of eyebrows.

My days are always more fun when I can get together with other SAHMs and let out kids play themselves into exhaustion. I wonder if SAHDs have the same resources as we do? They are definitely the minority, so it’s probably harder to find other men to hang out with who are in the same position.

Stay at home dads, I applaud you. I think it’s awesome that your kids have the benefit of having a parent at home, and I think it’s great that you can tackle a role traditionally held by women.

Rock on, SAHDs.