Every addition or subtraction in a family results in great stress. Every addition or subtraction results in changes, big and small, for everyone.

When your first baby was born, chances are, your world was turned upside down. Your priorities changed. Your plans were rearranged and always, the biggest consideration for every family decision was how it would affect the baby.

Contemplating on having another child is much the same, only you will have more kids to consider and balance against your plans for the family. If before you were able to get by with minimal outside help (day care), now you might end up being totally dependent on one to keep sane.

Expenses will also escalate, a little or a lot, depending on your lifestyle and whether the next child will be of the same sex, or if he has special needs. Most probably too, the last vestiges of your romantic illusions about having a baby will be eradicated as you deal with jealousy and discipline while also grabbing every opportunity to love and teach your child how to live.

You may also have to examine your motivations for having another one, and prepare yourselves for the possibility of having another child of the same sex, or the opposite sex, or a child with special needs, or multiples. All these possibilities have to be considered and talked about, but not dwelled upon, if only to prepare each other for each other’s reactions when the next one arrives. At least, ambivalence or sadness will not be a surprise.

And as with the first baby, you have to prepare for the new one. Read up and ask about jealousy and sibling rivalry, and take notes on ways to keep it to a bare minimum. After all, the challenges will be multiplied.

The good thing, however, is that you die again from the old ways of being and doing. You develop new skills, become better at time management and being focused on goals.

You become more efficient in multi-tasking and there will be an extra pair of arms to wrap around your neck to tell you that you’re doing a great job.