I used to be an office-based working mom. Currently I am a work at home mom (wahm), which unfortunately, many people don’t take seriously as work. But I am a working mom and my kids are at a childcare facility while I am typing this on my home computer.

It is with trepidation that I present the results of a study here that will surely illicit strong reactions from other working moms out there, reactions that may probably range from outrage, defensiveness, to guilt.

Kids of Working Moms Are Less Healthy

It’s true, according to a study reported by MSNBC. British researchers looked at 12,500 children aged 9 months to 5 years and analyzed their dietary habits and physical activity. The results showed that kids of working moms, regardless of their race, maternal education, job level or whether they are working full time or part-time, are less healthy. For example, they are more likely to eat junk food and spend more time in front of the TV or the computer. In addition, they are more likely to be driven to school and snack on chips and sweetened drinks. The researchers put the blame on the time constraints of working moms.

Now, before we overreact and blast the researchers for their bias against working women, let’s take a deep breath and look at ourselves and our family whether there is any truth to their findings. And if your first thought would be “I don’t have time for this,” then they’re right.¨

I suggest that we take the results of the study as a constructive criticism and an opportunity to check out our current lifestyle. There is a lot that we can do and here are my suggestions:

What’s in the Fridge?

If there’s no or very little produce in your fridge or in your pantry, then you have to rethink your family’s dietary habits. There are fresh produce that keeps long and this includes tomatoes, cucumber, bananas capsicum, and apples. Incorporate these into your shopping list and weekly menus.

What’s in Your Child’s Lunchbox?

If there are only potato chips, cookies or peanut butter sandwiches in there, then there’s something missing. An apple or a banana would be a health addition. Apples are especially great – they keep, they are sturdy, and can fit in a pocket. Choose the sweet varieties such as gala, pink lady or golden delicious.

Junk Food

Another British study reported that people who consume too much sweets as children have a tendency towards aggression in adulthood. So why do some of us keep buying junk food for our family against our better judgement? Some suggest it may be guilt, that those treats are our way of saying sorry for not spending enough time with our kids. Some people think if they don’t get it at home, they’ll get it somewhere else. In a previous post, I’ve listed some tips on children’s nutrition.

Communicate With Your Child.

How did his/her day go? If it’s just all about TV shows or video games, then it’s time to look for alternatives. What about a sports club? Soccer and tennis camps during the holidays? Active family outings on the weekends? Don’t wait until your child becomes overweight. The earlier they start the better.

Childcare

It is not easy to find the perfect childcare provider but we should make the effort to monitor what kind of care is being provided. My twin boys started at a daycare at 12 months, preschool-daycare at 3 years. Now at 1st grade, they attend after school childcare provided by our town. In other words, I’ve had experience about checking out childcare facilities. I, for one, wouldn’t go for a daycare with a TV set. I talk to the caregivers about the daily activities and compare their version with my child’s version. It’s not that I don’t trust them. I simply want to know whether I am getting my money’s worth. Yes, I pay for childcare and I make sure that as the customer, my child gets what he/she needs in terms of healthy food and physical exercise. The same goes if you have a nanny or a babysitter coming in. I am not saying you have to install a nanny cam at home but if we need crosschecks at work, there should also be some at home.

Some of us may not have the means to pay for childcare. A family member such as grandma or aunt might have to pitch in to help with the child care. Check their dietary and exercise habits. Talk to them about nutrition and health. A healthy child needs a healthy caregiver.

Look Within

Your diet and physical activity level reflects that of your family. What you eat at breakfast and at suppertime, your children eat. You are their role model and they learn your good and bad habits. A workout or a run is a great way to wind down. But how do you include your children into your adult exercise routine? Do cycling or inline skating together. I am not keen on both so my kids do either why I jog along side. It helps me keep up my pace. Check out Mrs.H’s list of habits of a healthy family.

I know that as working moms, we are juggling too many things at the same time: motherhood, job, marriage. It is difficult to be a career woman and the perfect mom at the same time. But hey, it’s not about being perfect that counts. It’s about being happy and healthy.

Today I stopped by a friend’s house unannounced to drop off a flyer for a church function. Actually, I didn’t think she was going to be there so I didn’t think it was a rude move since I would just slip the flyer under her door and call her later. It turns out she was there, and before I could apologize for stopping by without an invite she blurted out, “Hi! My house is a mess!”

I got to thinking about how I would react if someone were to stop by my house unannounced and I really think that the first words out of my mouth would be along the same lines. I long ago came to grips with the fact that if I’m going to work from home while raising my two kids there is an excellent chance that the majority of the time my house is not going to be guest-ready. Don’t get me wrong…I clean up if I know that someone is going to come over, but on a day to day basis there are toys on the floor, dishes in the sink, and I swear the unfolded clothes on the couch are silently mocking me.

Why should I feel guilty about this? My first priority is to make sure that the kids are okay, my second priority is to make sure that my deadlines are met, and my third priority is to make sure the house is in good order. I’d say that if I make it all the way down that tier and have everything set then it’s a really, really good day.

Today’s experience with my friend helped me to realize that I’m not the only mom with a messy house. You may laugh that I actually needed that revelation, but sometimes I think we forget how difficult a job it is to keep kids content and relatively injury-free. If our houses are a little messy but our kids are thriving, then I think that’s a pretty good trade-off, isn’t it?

A friend of mine called me the other day and told me to brace myself because she had big news. “I bought a minivan,” she admitted, and then braced herself for my reaction.

Truthfully, I don’t think that buying a minivan makes a mom any less cool and I can certainly see the merit in buying one if you have a few kids and have a lot of stuff to tote around. On the other hand, I know many moms who vehemently deny that they will every get a minivan or that they have ever gazed longingly at a minivan while trying to stuff a stroller, twelve bags of groceries, and a couple of screaming kids into their sedan.

Will I ever get a minivan? No. I’m not planning on having any more children, though, so if you had asked me the same question before my husband and I made the decision to stop breeding then I may have answered with a, “well, maybe.”

I’ve known a few moms who went into the process of buying a minivan kicking and screaming, not wanting to give in to the whole Suburban Soccer Mom role. Every single one of them eventually admitted that they absolutely love their minivans and can’t picture ever going back to a smaller car.

I can’t imagine paying for the gas to fill up a minivan’s tank, but that’s another story entirely.

The moral of the story is this: Buying a minivan doesn’t make you any less cool, but keeping a smaller car doesn’t make you any less capable as a mom. If you don’t believe me then ask me about the eight hour car drive I just took with my two kids in our Mitsubishi Eclipse. Really.

Before I go into my tirade let me make sure I get something across to all my readers. I have nothing against the mommies who decide to supplement their family’s income by starting up a home-based business. I figure if you have a passion for Pampered Chef or Mary Kay, by all means you should earn some money from something you enjoy. It’s a flexible part-time job and it allows you to socialize, from what I’ve been told.

Having said that, let me now say this: Please stop inviting me to your home parties.

Give me a catalog and if I like what I see then I’ll order something from you. Please don’t make me get a babysitter just to sit through two hours of cheesy games and merchandise demonstrations. I would much rather go to get coffee with you and chat pleasantly while flipping through a catalog.

I can tell you exactly when I decided that I was finished with home parties. I went to a Pampered Chef party where the two hostesses had a competition to see who could get apples peeled the fastest for a dessert we would all enjoy a little later in the party. One hostess stopped her peeling, blew her nose, and then without washing her hands she went back to the peeling competition. Not only was I totally grossed out, but I decided that I was done with the whole home party thing. I already loathed the whole format, but after this my resolve was strong.

If you’re a new stay-at-home mommy then there will probably come a time when you will yearn to get your hands and something that’s all your own and can potentially earn you money. That’s why so many SAHMs wind up getting involved in home-based business; the initial investment is pretty low and you can work your own hours. It’s also why so many of us other SAHMs and WAHMs get roped into going to the parties.

Am I the only mommy who feels this way?

I have something to tell you that you might not know. I hope I don’t get in trouble from all the other SAHMs and WAHMs that I socialize with for letting you in on this, but I’m going to tell you a secret:

Once in a while, we’re awfully jealous of you.

Okay, maybe I’m not speaking for everyone here, but I figured that you probably had enough of reading articles that talk about how great it is to stay at home with babies and watch them flourish and all that jazz. Yes, it’s great. On the other hand, I’ll be the first to admit that I can’t imagine how wonderful it must be to get an hour lunch break every day that you can do whatever you want, whether that’s grabbing a bite to eat with other adults, catch up on some work, or even take a nice stroll outside alone. Don’t even get me started about how great it must be to have a little bit of time alone in the car every day when you get to pick what you listen to and you don’t have to drive while wiping boogers off someone’s nose.

Don’t get me wrong…working from home is the best choice for me. Even though I would get a lot more work done every day if I was holed away in an office somewhere other than home, this is my choice and I’m happy to do it.

Having said that, I can still fantasize about speaking to other adults throughout the day and once in a while having a boss that says, “Good job!” instead of the usual, “This is so unfair!” that I get from my oldest child.

I know what you do is hard. I’m not glamorizing it. I just thought you should know that every so often, you’re the envy of many SAHMs and WAHMs.

Today I decided to do my writing while sitting outside a local coffee shop at one of their patio tables. It was a nice change of pace, and it’s a treat I only usually get to enjoy while the kids are at preschool like they are today. The weather is beautiful, I have a coffee by my side, and I’m feeling like I could tackle any deadline.

I noticed something while I was sitting there writing. From the vantage point I had I was able to see every car that went through the coffee shop’s drive-thru. It wasn’t long before I noticed that every single car that went through while I was sitting there was some kind of family car: lots of SUVs and minivans. I then started paying attention to who was doing the driving, and it was then that I realized every single driver who came through was a woman, and all of them had car seats in the cars. Some of the moms had kiddos in the car with them, and some of them didn’t.

The other thing that all of them had in common was that they looked absolutely exhausted. Judging by the time of day – around 9:30 AM – these were all women who had finished up the hectic morning duties of getting kids fed and ready and had either dropped off their kids at school or were getting ready for whatever activities they had planned out for the day. Their stop at the coffee shop was a calculated attempt at getting a little energy from a caffeinated drink and maybe placating the kids with a juice or cookie.

It dawned on me that I am one of those women! When the kids are I set off for the zoo or library or whatever we go do, it usually starts with a stop at a coffee shop to fuel up mom. Am I running on caffeine instead of relying on the natural energy my body should be granting me from the food I eat and the sleep I get?

I think this topic needs some examination. All us stay-at-home and work-at-home parents need to take a look at how we get through the day, and what we’re teaching our kids about habits. Yes, I’m worn out, but I wonder if I need to lay off relying on a chemical to give me a little pep so my kids don’t think that’s the natural thing to do. What do you think?

Ever wonder how much a good mom is worth? Of course, the answer from husbands and children across the world should be ‘priceless,‘ but Salary.com has released some solid stats.

By valuating the time moms spend doing typical ‘mom’ jobs, from housekeeper to CEO, the Web site determined that a typical stay-at-home mom’s salary should be $116,805. A working mom’s ‘at-home‘ salary, not counting what she earns at her day job, would earn her $68,405.

Before working moms get all in-arms and claim they work every bit as hard (or harder) than stay-at-home moms do, be aware that the salary is based on hours spent performing specific job duties. Stay-at-home moms spend more time being moms (almost twice as much), because they are home more.

According to the Salary.com report, a stay-at-home mom works 94.4 hours, resulting in tons of overtime! Working moms spend 54.6 hours on ‘motherly duties’, in addition to an average of 40 hours a week at their job.

Some working moms aren’t happy with the assessment. A blogger at the Time Magazine Web site just can‘t see how working moms could net less pay than stay-at-home moms. Her assertion is that working moms (and dads) perform the same duties as stay-at-home moms, albeit in less time (more efficiently.)

There’s one growing group, however, left out of Salary.com‘s study entirely: work-at-home moms. WAHMs often multi-task child-rearing, housework, household management, plus similar duties that working moms perform outside the home – all in the same place, often at the same time. How much exactly is that worth?

You can get your own customized report, based on your number of children, the time you spend doing various household and motherly tasks, and even average salaries in your region, through the Mom Salary Wizard at Salary.com. Then you can print out a paycheck for yourself or that special someone.

I‘d advise caution, however. If the IRS finds out about this, they may just try to determine mom’s “salary” as ‘taxable income.‘

I am in continual wonder of the subculture I entered when I decided to stay home with my babies instead of heading back to work. Stay at home moms are a hearty breed of women, but it can be an awfully lonely occupation. Sometimes there are days when I don’t get to talk to another adult until my husband walks in the door, and then I assault the poor man with conversation.

I was watching a dad at a play area with his kids and I started to wonder if it’s even lonelier being a stay at home dad. At least with stay at home moms we can spot each other by the dazed looks on our faces and the kids circling around us. We can always strike up conversations with other SAHMs because we know that there will always be some common denominator to discuss: kids.

With dads, though, I wonder how much the gender issue comes into play. Are SAHDs afraid to approach women to chat because they are afraid the women will think it’s an attempt at flirting? Obviously, a SAHD probably can’t suggest a playdate at his house like a SAHM can to another woman…at least not without raising a couple of eyebrows.

My days are always more fun when I can get together with other SAHMs and let out kids play themselves into exhaustion. I wonder if SAHDs have the same resources as we do? They are definitely the minority, so it’s probably harder to find other men to hang out with who are in the same position.

Stay at home dads, I applaud you. I think it’s awesome that your kids have the benefit of having a parent at home, and I think it’s great that you can tackle a role traditionally held by women.

Rock on, SAHDs.

Do you ever feel frustrated with society’s attitude towards moms and babies?

The world seems to be pushing babies to be mini adults. (Why can’t we let babies be babies?) and moms are expected to be 14 different things at once.

I am very happy it’s 2008 and not 1958 where the only “correct” type of mother has 3.8 kids, cleans the house, cooks a three-course dinner for her husband every night, and does it all in lipstick, immaculate hair and high heels.

It is great that we’ve progressed from only one type of mom. Modern mothers can be working moms, stay at home moms, work at home moms, then there’s stay at home dads, and everything in between.

Working moms are (deservedly) praised for managing work and home and motherhood – and much respect to you if that’s what you do.

But now it’s the stay-at-home moms (SAHMs) who are getting the flak. I’ve been asked a couple of times lately why I didn’t want to have a job. Or what interests do I have apart from my son? Like being a stay-at-home mom is somehow second-rate to moms who go to work, or jetset around the world like Madonna.

Clearly being a stay-at-home mom is a job, and much more work than many jobs that require you to get dressed and go to an office every day. It’s also the best and only job I want to have. And it’s the most interesting thing I do. Watching my son grow up, and learn new things is fascinating, rewarding, and fills me with joy every second of every day. (Let me correct that. He’s in the deliberatly-throwing-milk-on-the-carpet stage at the moment. So everything apart from that.)

There’s nothing second-rate about being a stay-at-home mom. Moms of all types – working, work at home, stay-at-home, whatever you do – are all equally loving, wonderful mothers doing the very best for their children.

Stay-at-home moms deserve just as much praise as any other type of mom, and if you’ve decided to devote this time of your life to your children and your family, you’ve made a great decision. Children are only small for such a short time, and I don’t want to waste this precious time working (even though money is tight) or doing things for me at the expense of spending time with my son (although I did give him to Daddy and spent an hour in the bath reading a book last Saturday).

I’ve found the right balance for me and my family. I hope that you have too, and perhaps if you are reading this and have been feeling pressured to do more than be a stay at home mom, take a deep breath, and think about it – what makes you happiest in all the world? Being with your children? Then ignore the pressure, and
carrying on giving your whole heart to being a stay-at-home mom.

Just an update for those wondering whether my previously announced plan of moving across states into my parents home and becoming a SAHM came into fruition. The short answer is, yes, I have. The long answer is: what the heck have I gotten myself into, I’m so overwhelmed, everything is different, and is my Mom going to drive me crazy during this week or the next?

Breathe in. Breathe out.

This is an encouragement to those who wish to make a change in their family’s lives, who wish to shift everything so they can stay with their babies or children at home. It can be done. This is also a caution to those who face shifting their lives in major ways so they can do the same. It is HARD. From drastically reducing your income when you’re used to two, to down-shifting your lifestyle so you’re faced with living in cramped circumstances, there are major and minor changes that will stop you daily in your tracks and make you shake your head, or cringe, or both.

But you know what (yes, there is a you know what)? Today I got to feed my baby all her meals, and my mom was there with me for all of them, letting me see her as I’ve never seen her before: In the role of a doting grandmother. I got to see Mina’s smile all day. I got to see her shun her doting grandmother in preference to me. I got to see her cradled in her great-grandmother’s arms. I got to nurse her, no formula supplements, and best of all no pumping necessary (what bliss). No messy bottles to clean for me tonight. I will be with her, I will mold her, I will teach her, and attention for her caregiver will not be split between 10 kids (yes, her daycare had 10 kids per 2 caregivers when we left). These are enough you know whats to combat the unknown facing me.

Please wish our little family luck as we embark on this new journey!

Before I started working from home I was a full-fledged stay-at-home mom with nothing more on my plate than caring for my babies and the house (as if that wasn’t enough, right?). I was the first to admit to anyone who would listen that staying home with babies was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Believe me…I went through military basic training, and that was a cake walk compared to some days I have with these kids.

Now that I have an income and am considered gainfully employed, I have the unique opportunity to fit into both spectrums of moms: The Working Mother and the Stay-at-Home Mother. I’ve heard interesting comments from both sides, but the consensus seems to be this: SAHMs are mystified that some moms can leave their kids in daycare or with a nanny all day, and working moms often wonder what in the world it is that SAHMs do all day. I actually had a friend of mine who is a working mother ask me in a truly perplexed voice, “What do stay-at-home moms do all day?” She honestly didn’t know.

So here are the answers as I can best reply, based on my experience and the experience of other moms I have talked to:

“How can moms leave their babies at daycare all day?” Some moms just have to, and some moms don’t have a problem with it because they get a kick out of their careers and they know their babies are in a stimulating environment. A lot of moms have a terrible time with dropping their babies off initially, but for many moms this just becomes a routine.

“What do SAHMs do all day?” Cook, clean, change poopy diapers, play with the baby, go grocery shopping, change more poopy diapers, run errands for the working spouse, and anything else that needs to be done. The next day, repeat it all over again.

The moral of the story is that neither working moms or SAHMs have it all figure out. Regardless of what route you choose – whether it’s staying at home or going back to work – make sure it’s the right decision for you.

I have found that having two kids has required that I have twice as much attention for them. The love expanded with no problems with my daughter’s birth, but the attention has been harder to multiply.

It was easy when my daughter was still breastfeeding and I could read to my son so he didn’t feel left out and keep him occupied while I was feeding his sister. I also found out fairly quickly how many things you can do one-handed while breastfeeding, like pour milk or juice into a sippy cup, make Spaghettios, or find a lost toy. You become pretty resourceful when you’re breastfeeding an infant and you also have a two-year-old whining and tugging on your sleeve asking for chocolate milk. But, as my newborn daughter gets older it has become even harder to have enough attention for both of them at the same time.

For example, it is inevitable that my son needs a snack or drink as soon as I sit down to give my daughter a bottle. Unfortunately, I can’t bottle-feed one-handed, so I’m stuck – unable to do both things for my kids at once. So, since my daughter can’t quite understand “Hold on one second,” my son has to learn a little patience. And, in case you were wondering, this is not an easy concept for a two-year-old to learn.

Although I stress about this and wonder whether my children are significantly affected by my inability to duplicate myself and satisfy both child’s needs at once, I think in the end they will be okay. After all, they are learning (at their young ages) that you have to wait for things you want sometimes and that things you want don’t come to you immediately.

In the meantime, I’ll still wish there were two of me at times, but I’ll multitask to the best of my ability. I’ll also be relishing those very rare occasions when both children are napping and I can focus my attention on what I want to do – you know, like laundry, dishes, vacuuming….

Hi Moms, Dads and all of those TTC and soon-to-be parents! I am a 25-year-old married SAHM (stay at home mom) of two, ages 2 1/2 and 7 months. I am also a chef, laundromat, cleaning service, and financial planner. (You should see my paycheck – I get paid way too much!)

This is my first entry in a series I’m starting about the life and times of a SAHM. Now, as you can imagine, my days aren’t full of heart pounding excitement, nor are they similar to a high-powered CEO who makes company decisions all day, but they sure are interesting and BUSY. So, I decided to write about them. I will share the frustrations, joys, chaos, and the ins and outs of everyday life that come with being a mom. I’m sure you will find things similar to your own life here, after all, we are all parents.

And now, to share a little bit about myself.

I decided to have children young because I knew I wanted to stay home with them before working out of the home. My husband and I were lucky enough to get pregnant with a son right after we were married. Two years later we had our daughter and now here we are – together 9 years, married 3 1/2 with two kids and two dogs. There’s lots of chaos at times, the house is by no means spotless, and laundry piles up seemingly endlessly, but that’s life!

In the past two and a half years I have found that I thoroughly enjoy staying home with my kids. I love seeing them grow, learn, and discover new things each day. I also realize how fortunate we are for me to be able to stay home – I know that many parents don’t even have the option.

So, here I am four years after graduating college, home with my two little ones. Not many (actually none) of my friends from college went the same route I did in choosing to become a young mom and a SAHM too, but I love it. I have found that I’m learning and growing as a person just as much as my kids are.

So, hello again to all of you here on the babiesonline.com blog! Be sure to come back and read more of A Day in the Life of a SAHM! This life gets more interesting with each passing day!

Let me know what you think about the series – reply in the comments section below!

Children go through clothes so quickly, especially in their first two years of life. You have no sooner bought them a few new pieces when you find the pants are too short and the shirts are too tight. So how do you dress your children during this time without draining your bank account?

I have found that you can get great deals on new or slightly used kids and baby clothes at consignment stores, thrift shops, and on Ebay. I can usually find excellent deals on brand name clothes like Gymboree, Children’s Place, GAP, and Old Navy. I also shop clearance racks online and in store in the off-season for summer clothes in the winter and vice versa. The key to this, however, is to make sure you know they will fit your child in that future season, otherwise you’ve essentially wasted that money, clearance price paid or not.

Buying clothes, even name brand, at the low prices found on Ebay or at consignment or thrift shops means I don’t get too upset if they become stained after being worn for a while. After all, I didn’t pay an arm and a leg for them! An added bonus I found is that if the clothes make it through your child and are still in decent shape you have the option of reselling them, so you get an even bigger return on your money!

This means of shopping has been great for our family as a way to save a little money and still purchase name brand clothes for our children. As a stay at home mom I feel that finding ways to save money is part of my “job” – it’s one of the ways I contribute since my pay comes in hugs, kisses, and smiles from my children.

….(or a SAHD)?

I used to be one of those women who, pre-pregnancy, would scoff at the idea of staying home with a baby. I told myself, I’d go crazy with the boredom and lack of mental stimulation. Now, as a relatively new mom of a precocious four-month old, I’m ready to eat my words along with a glass of humility.

As one of the many two-income households across America, I work and earn half of my family’s income. I expected our daughter to go to daycare, and for me to keep working; not a thought popped into my head that we would need to prepare ourselves to become a one-income family. What for? I wasn’t going to be staying home.

The first day I dropped her off at daycare pretty much demolished that former resolve. I cried for three hours, called my husband lamenting that I couldn’t stay home with her, called my mom, called my friends for moral support. I called the daycare multiple times during the day and then picked her up early.

Everyone told me it would get better, but it became clearer to me each week that my heart was set in caring for my baby full-time. Two items further clarified this realization. The first was the little section in my What to Expect the First Year book which kindly informs readers that the first three years of a child’s development is crucial. The second was the result of daycare studies I had been reading online, discussing negative effects of daycare .

I set my plans in motion so that I could begin to care for my daughter at home. For those of you with the same intent, the following may be helpful:

1. Draw up a budget and calculate how much money you would still need to earn or cut back for monthly expenses, once you quit your full-time job. This may require keeping track of every purchase for a month to give you a true picture of your expenses. Count that morning lattes, count the video rentals on the weekend, count everything. Once you know what you spend, you know what you can cut back on. Be prepared to cut back on a lot, and remember for whom you’re sacrificing them.
2. Look at eliminating big monthly expenses to free up some cash: Trade in your big SUV for a second-hand sedan. Sell your car entirely so you only have one car payment instead of two (remember to factor in the money you’ll save in gas). Pay off your credit card balance before quitting if its feasible. Switch to basic cable instead of the premium subscription. Negotiate with your cell phone provider for a lower monthly rate for less minutes if you find that you don’t use up all your minutes. Cancel your gym membership and see if there is a recreation center in your community you can join for a much cheaper rate.
3. Okay, you’ve now eliminated everything you can, but you find that you still need extra cash. Ask yourself: can you work part-time or at night? Can you work from home? Maybe taking care of one or two of your friends or neighbors’ children? Can your partner vie for a promotion or ask for a raise so you don’t need to worry about working? There are endless possibilities.
4. The extreme solution: sell your home and get an apartment. Yes, we considered this. I am ready to sacrifice everything to be able to stay home with my little girl. Even more extreme than that: sell your home and live with your parents. In Asian families, this isn’t even considered extreme and is done all the time.

So what is our family doing? We’re making the most extreme move of them all. We’re crossing state borders to move in with my family in San Diego, California. My husband and I are swallowing our prides and bunking with my parents for all the good reasons: so I can stay home with baby Mina for at least a year or two, so I can go back to school, so that Mina would be near her grandparents.

For someone who’ve been earning reasonably well all these years, I am looking at a lot of sacrifice. During the challenging times ahead, I just need to keep my eye on the prize; that of having a direct hand in molding my daughter to be the best she could be.