Groundbreaking medical research completed by a team at the Institute of Cancer Research, a college of the University of London, working in conjunction with researchers in Japan, discovered that certain cancer cells can cross the placenta of an afflicted mother-to-be into her unborn baby.

Such a link had been suspected previously, with about 17 cases of leukemia and melanoma supposedly passed on from mother to fetus, but genetic “fingerprinting” has established a definite link.

In the most recent case, a Japanese mother died from complications of leukemia one month after giving birth. Eleven months later, her supposedly healthy baby daughter was diagnosed with lymphoma, which is now in remission.

The researchers discovered that cancer cells of both mother and baby carried the identical mutated cancer gene, but the infant had not inherited the gene – instead, it passed through the placenta during the mother’s pregnancy.

Cause for concern?

The fetus’ immune system did not recognize the cancer cells as foreign bodies and so did not destroy them. However, in an article posted on the Guardian website, a UK-based newspaper, Professor Mel Greaves stresses, “The chances of any pregnant woman with cancer passing it on to her child are remote.” Greaves led the research study that uncovered this important link.

Rather than giving pregnant women yet another thing to worry about (the Japanese mother who prompted the study did not know she had leukemia until after she gave birth), the study provides hope for future cancer research and insight into possible cures.

In the same article, Dr David Grant, scientific director at Leukaemia Research, said: “The important message from this … is that leukemia cells can be destroyed by the immune system. Harnessing the power of the immune system to cure and protect patients from leukemia is one of our priority areas of research.”

This story truly is one about finding a glimmer of good out of sad news.

More Facts About Cancer and Pregnancy

According to research, about 1 in every 1,000 pregnant women is diagnosed with cancer, but pregnancy does not cause any form of cancer. Sometimes standard pre-natal testing, such as ultrasounds or PAP smears, may uncover cancers that had gone previously undetected.

On the other hand, symptoms of certain cancers may be similar to symptoms of pregnancy, which can actually delay detection of the cancer.

Breast cancer, occurring in one in every 3,000 pregnant women, is the most common form of cancer during pregnancy.

Treatment of cancer during pregnancy may include:

• Surgery

• Chemotherapy

• Radiation therapy

The latter two treatments are prescribed conservatively, only after careful consideration to their effects on the fetus. Chemotherapy is often safe in the second and third trimesters, with drugs that do not pass through the placenta.

It Can Be Done

Cancer during pregnancy certainly creates additional challenges for the mother-to-be, but with proper supervision, a complication-free pregnancy with a healthy baby can result. Do the results of this study prove differently?

Certainly, mothers with cancer may wish to consider this additional information but in general, I don’t think a cancer survivor determined to reproduce should let this stop her. What do you think?

Here Are Some Helpful links:

WebMD

Cancer.net

Guardian.co.uk

What is it like to spend nine-plus months carrying someone else’s baby? How can you not get attached to the baby growing inside you? How can you talk yourself through morning sickness, swollen ankles and back pain when you don’t get the ultimate payoff of holding your own precious baby when all is said and done?

I was very fortunate to speak to Alison Adams, an amazing woman who speaks very openly and honestly about her experiences as a surrogate.

1. What made you decide to be a surrogate?

Helping others has always been a deep seeded interest of mine. When I was in my later teen years, I became aware of egg donation.  When I met my boyfriend (now husband), I told him of my desires pretty early on. He thought the idea of it was great, being I waited until after we were done having our own children (I agreed).

2. How do you choose the family?

With my first surrogacy, I met the couple I chose through an agency. With my second surrogacy, I met the couple through Facebook, of all places!

3. What is it like to carry someone else’s baby?

I do the same things – watch what I eat, take my prenatal vitamins, go to my appointments as necessary, rub my belly, talk to the baby, etc. But of course, there’s no preparing for a baby, so that was a bit odd the first time around. It just seemed so strange to be so very pregnant, and not be setting up a nursery or installing a car seat. But how I felt towards my surrogate son was very different – I loved him and cared for him, yes. But I did not love him as I love my own children.

4. Who handles the financial obligation associated with the surrogate pregnancy?

In most all surrogacy journeys, the IPs (intended parents) cover the finances. This could/should include attorneys (for both the surrogate and parents!), insurance copays, etc.

5. Are you financially compensated for being a surrogate?

Most first time surrogates in the US receive around 20k for a first time surrogacy. Some surrogates receive a higher compensation for a second time journey, and some, like myself, opt to receive the same compensation that they received the first time. If you figure it out, it calculates out to under $3 per hour. But as is true for most surrogates, compensation isn’t close to one of the top reasons we choose to do this. It is a nice bonus, though.

6. Do you keep in contact with the family after the baby is born?

Yes, this is actually a requirement of mine. I ask that the family opt to keep up with me and keep me updated on them (not just the baby).

7. How important is the emotional support of your family while you are a surrogate?

Very important. My husband is my rock. He not only has to submit himself to STD testing and sign the contract, he is there with me as I go through the cycling, the pregnancy and the postpartum time. It is not easy on him, but he chooses to support me and hold me up through the hard times. I think I fell in love with him even more after the birth of my surrogate son, just knowing how awesome he was during the pregnancy – a pregnancy that wasn’t even for us, if that makes sense.

Read more about Alison’s surrogacy journeys in her blog.

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has warned early on that pregnant women and young children may be especially susceptible to the H1N1 swine flu. This has been proven by the latest reports and moralities due to this flu epidemic.

The first confirmed death due to swine flu in Europe happened in Scotland last weekend and involved a 38-year old mother who just gave birth two weeks ago. The mother had some “underlying conditions” aside from the flu and delivered her baby prematurely. The baby was not infected with the H1N1 flu but also died shortly after, probably because it was very premature – eleven weeks early. The first case of swine flu fatality involving a pregnant woman was reported in Texas in May.

In the meantime:

• Argentina also reported its first H1N1 flu fatality – a 3-month old baby.

• Hong Kong closed all its kindergartens and primary schools due to increasing numbers of infected pupils.

• A Swiss daycare was also shutdown temporarily this week due to a positive H1N1 infection. It seems that the virus is getting closure to home.

Why pregnant women are at risk

According to MSNBC, the New Zealand Herald, and other sources:

1. Pregnancy weakens the immune system. The immune system is naturally suppressed during pregnancy to accommodate a foreign body – the baby – in the womb. The likelihood of flu leading to pneumonia during pregnancy is high.
2. A flu infection increases the risk for premature delivery which itself also can lead to other complications.
3. Pregnant women suffering from asthma and other underlying conditions have even higher risk for complications.
4. Young people (this includes children and women of reproductive age!) are more vulnerable to the H1N1 flu compared to older people because the H1N1 virus seems to be susceptible to flu antibodies that were probably produced during previous seasonal flu infections. In other words, older people have had more flu exposure and have had therefore built up more immune defenses against the current flu.

What the health authorities recommend

Pregnant women are therefore advised to especially take care and see their doctors immediately as soon as the flu symptoms start. Health authorities believe that the danger the virus poses to the fetus is much more than what anti-viral drugs do. The National Health Services (NHS) of the UK recommends the use of the inhalable antiviral drug Relenza, which can treat flu symptoms without reaching fetus.

The swine flu (now referred to as the Mexican flu or Novel H1N1 flu) has now spread to 41 states in the US with 642 confirmed cases (as of May 6) and 23 countries worldwide. The US Centers for Disease Prevention and Control (CDC) has provided recommendations for the general public but also to specific sectors for the population. Here are some info and recommendations for parents and parents-to-be:

• For moms who are breastfeeding
  According to the CDC, breast milk is one of the best defense against the flu for your baby. Do not stop breastfeeding even if you or your baby are ill. Continue to breastfeed even if you are being treated for the flu.
• For women who are pregnant
  The CDC does not know what the effect of this novel flu will be on pregnant women and their unborn babies. Pregnant women are thought to be very susceptible and are advised to take extra care. The CDC also cannot give much information about the effects of the antiviral agents on the pregnancy. Pregnant women who present with flu symptoms should contact their doctors immediately.
• For pregnant women who work in education, child care, and health care
  Pregnant women who work in schools, daycares, and hospital are especially vulnerable. Like all pregnant women, they should take extra precautionary measures in their workplace. Pregnant healthcare workers should consider temporary transfer to lower risk assignments.
• For parents with daycare- and school-aged children
  Parents should closely monitor their kids for early symptoms. They should also discuss the issue with their child care providers/teachers. Children who present with flu symptoms should stay at home and parents should inform the school/daycare immediately.
• For child care providers
  The CDC has also issued recommendations for child care providers, both center-based and home based. It has provided Child Care and Preschool Pandemic Influenza Planning Checklist for caregivers.
• For parents who want to talk to their children about the flu
  The CDC is encouraging parents to talk to their children openly about the flu. This is the best opportunity to focus on health and hygiene.

Click on the links for the full CDC recommendations!

Pregnant in prison

A 20-year old British woman is sitting in a Laos prison waiting for her trial. If convicted of drug smuggling, she will be sentenced to die by firing squad, according to BCC. However, the story doesn’t end there. Four months after imprisonment in August last year, she became pregnant. How this happened is not clear but British authorities were quoted as saying “Nothing that happens in that prison is voluntary.” Whether she is guilty or not is not for me to comment on. What I find so sad is the circumstances under which she has to carry her baby – in prison where she probably doesn’t have any access to prenatal care and the nutrition she needed. The trial is schedule this month and if convicted, it isn’t clear whether she will be executed before or after the baby is born.

Fined for losing her baby

This 27-year old Lebanese woman was nine months pregnant when she had a vehicular accident in Dubai that resulted in a spontaneous abortion and death of the baby. Sad for the mom, sad for the parents. Sadder still was the fact that a Dubai court decided to fine her more than US$ 5000 dollars for causing the accident that led to the loss of her baby – a verdict of “unintentional homicide”.

The fine is supposedly “blood money” to be paid to the unborn baby’s next of kin. (I really wonder who the “next of kin” is?) According to BBC, the pregnant woman braked suddenly on the highway to avoid hitting the car in front of her but her car got hit from behind instead. The court decided that she failed to keep a safe distance from the car ahead of her. Besides, pregnant women should supposedly avoid driving during the 3^rd trimester to protect the unborn child.

This reminds us that different countries have different laws that may have consequences on pregnancy, miscarriage, and motherhood.  Something that we should take into consideration if we live outside our home country. It reminds us that the rights of women and mothers are not always respected and that not all women in this world are as lucky are we are.

Today, I went for my 6th month check up at the baby doctor.  The visit is pretty much similar to the last one: they weight you, check your urine for protein and sugar, listen to the baby’s heartbeat, measure your growth, and listen to you complain!

At each visit, your doctor should ask you if you have symptoms like bleeding, spotting, swelling, contractions or pain.  The list is usually longer, but those are the major players they seem to be looking at because these symptoms can denote that something serious is going on.  Today, the doctor asked if I am eating well, and if I’m able to sleep.

I’ve never had a doctor ask me about my eating, and so I asked why they were asking.  Apparently, I haven’t gained any weight since my last visit!  That’s a first for me.  They claim that my growth is still good, and so they aren’t concerned.

Up until this point, I have to admit I was feeling pretty good with this pregnancy.  I am now starting to feel uncomfortable.  I’m having contractions quite a bit–mostly because it’s been so hot and humid in our area and I guess I am not drinking enough fluids.  The doctor told me to cut out anything with caffeine because this can make dehydration worse.  I shall miss my tea!  The doctor also claims that “practice contractions” are stronger in women who have had multiple pregnancies.  Since this is my 8th pregnancy, I guess I qualify.

My next appointment is on June 1st.   August is quickly approaching and soon we’ll get to meet our baby.  Part of me is still in disbelief that I am actually having a baby!  I guess I’ll begin to accept that we are having a baby when that first REAL contraction hits.  Maybe…..

My husband retired from the military after 22 years recently. I was thrilled for many reasons, but mostly because I thought he’d be home! No more lengthy separations due to work responsibilities. I never thought he’d land a civilian job which required him to travel extensively!

I am almost 24 weeks pregnant at this point and I feel myself slowing down. I suppose it’s because of a variety of things–my advanced maternal age, and the fact that I am a mother to 5 other children. It seems that my energy runs out faster than the daylight does. There are days when I really wish I could go sleep for a little bit and ask my husband to handle the parenting duties for a while, but I can’t. If you are in a similar situation, here are some things I’ve found that are helpful.

Pace Yourself
If I know that I have to be somewhere during the evening hours with the older children, this means that I have to somehow minimize morning activities and meetings. Otherwise, I just won’t be able to do it all.

Learn To Say No
This past weekend, I had to drive 1600 miles so my older children could see their father as per our court order. I couldn’t say no to that, but on Monday, when I was brutally tired, I had to re-schedule several meetings and other commitments. I had to say no.

Ask For Help
If you need help, ask! Of course, you may not have a support network to go to when you need help. I am thinking about my experiences as a military wife where you’ve just moved into a new community and your husband goes away. You may not know anyone to ask for help!

Expect The Children To Help
Even younger children are able to handle some tasks. The older children can handle other tasks. Even so, it may be necessary to lower your standards or to let some things go.

When I become discouraged as of late, I remind myself that pregnancy lasts for only 40 weeks. Until then, I keep doing the best I can do.

I have heard from lots of women that they have trouble sleeping during their pregnancy.  Usually, the “condition” gets worse as the pregnancy progresses.

Between my racing thoughts, my enlarging belly, and my need to use the bathroom at frequent intervals, night time is not such a restful time.  It seems that when I lay down, the child I am carrying becomes VERY active and this makes it hard to relax.  When the baby calms down, and I do get to sleep, I am wakened by my toddler’s cries!

People joke that having a baby is nature’s way of telling you that you are getting too much sleep.  That may be true, but I don’t agree with nature’s definition of  “too much”.

I’ve heard a bunch of remedies to the sleep issue.  Some folks advocate drinking hot tea or hot milk before bed.  Others swear that a warm bath helps.  I remember being very large at the end of my pregnancy with my son and having trouble getting in and out of the tub.  The stress of those memories, and the fact that my husband is away quite a bit on business keep me from trying that remedy!  A warm shower will have to do I guess.

I have found that I get very tired(and crabby) in the early evening.  I’ve also discovered that if I can just lay down and relax for about 20 minutes at that time, it really helps.  This means that I put my son in the playpen with a few toys and let him watch one of his favorite videos.  If I doze off, I know he’ll be safe.

When you are working and have children, it’s hard to find time to rest during pregnancy.  If you aren’t sleeping so well at night, that can make life very difficult. If you are dealing with this issue, I’d encourage you to listen to your body and catch some “rest breaks” when you can.  It will really help!

My great-grandmother was a lay midwife and delivered many babies. She said she could “tell” if a baby was a boy or a girl and claimed that her methods were incredibly accurate. Since I’ve had an ultrasound which made it very clear that our child is a boy, I thought I’d evaluate some of the tales I’ve heard to see how true they are.

Chinese Gender Chart
I found that there are actually several variations circulating. Most of the variations accurately predicted that our child was a boy.

Morning Sickness Method
Supposedly, you have more intense morning sickness if you are carrying a girl. My morning sickness is not as intense as it was with my girls, but yet, it is there and is more intense than it was with my first son. I don’t know what this means actually, except that I have morning sickness which still affects me 5 months into my pregnancy.

Heartbeat Method
According to this tale, if a child has a slow heartbeat, it’s a boy. If it has a fast heartbeat, it is a girl. The cut off is supposedly around 140. This child has a heartbeat of 150 consistently, so this myth didn’t accurately predict the gender of our child this pregnancy.

Out In Front Or All Around?
According to this myth, you can tell the gender of your child based upon how you are “carrying” the child. If you gain weight all over, your child is a girl. If your weight gain is all “out in front”, it’s a boy. For me, this has been true.

For this pregnancy, half of the myths of listed accurately predicted the gender of our child; half did not. This tells me that I had a 50/50 chance of guessing the gender of our child correctly! While the myths may not be of any real help in enlightening you as to your child’s gender, they are a fun way to pass time while waiting for your bundle of joy to show up.

Today was my 5 month “baby doctor” appointment.  I was wondering what the doctor’s office would say about my recent appointment with the high risk clinic and the “soft marker” they found for  Down’s Syndrome.

During an ultrasound at the clinic about 3 weeks ago, the technician told me that my child had an echogenic bowel.  Supposedly, this is considered a marker for Down’s Syndrome.  Since I am already of advanced maternal age, my risk factor for the syndrome is pretty high–about 10%.

I talked with the doctor today about the internet searches I’d done to research the condition.  I also talked with her about the abruptness of the doctor who’d come to discuss the ultrasound results with me.   Not only was the doctor abrupt, but he advised that I terminate the pregnancy as I have a 10% risk of having a child with Down’s Syndrome supposedly.  I was shocked, and I told her so.

The doctor I saw today explained to me that many things can cause a “marker” to show up during an ultrasound.  She also explained to me that the whole ultrasound thing is still an inexact science.  As we discussed things further, she admitted to me that she’d had a similar experience at the same clinic.  Her child had a marker show up during an ultrasound and they also advised her to terminate the pregnancy.  Her child is now 3 months old and is fine.

I am curious to find out–have any other women out there ever had a specialist  who advised terminating a pregnancy due to an ultrasound finding?

My friend told me a story about when she was pregnant and her milk suddenly showed up unexpectedly. She was out to lunch with her husband and mother-in-law when she suddenly realized everyone was staring at her chest.  She looked down and was horrified to see that her breasts were leaking milk right through her shirt and everyone at the table was watching, wide-eyed.  Without warning, her mother-in-law burst into tears of happiness, announcing to the whole restaurant that her soon-to-be-born grandchild would indeed have milk to drink.  My friend was a little horrified, but at the same time was glad to know that she wasn’t going to have any problems with her milk.

My milk didn’t show up until after my baby was born, but I did have some warning signs that it was on its way. My breasts getting bigger was the first sign, but I think it was when I was around seven months pregnant that I started feeling soreness in my breasts that I had never felt before. It wasn’t necessarily painful, but it felt like something was going on. Changes were happening, and I was happy at the prospect of the milk getting ready to make its appearance.

When I was closer to my due date I noticed what looked like dried colostrum on my nipples. There wasn’t a lot of it and it wasn’t bothersome, but I was really happy when I noticed it. I think I was afraid that my milk might not ever show up and I wouldn’t be able to nurse my baby, but seeing this let me know that it was on its way.

I never did have a moment when any milk dripped out before I had my baby. Believe me, though, when I say that it didn’t take long after labor until suddenly my breasts were huge and I had more than enough milk available. If I hadn’t been looking for the signs beforehand then I may not have noticed all the changes my breasts were going through. For this reason, I urge you to not panic if you don’t notice any huge changes to your breasts indicative of milk on the way.

After all, if you’re anything like me you’ll have plenty of opportunities after the baby is born to have your milk leak while at a restaurant with in-laws.

I miss my pregnant belly.  You may wonder why in the world I would miss having a huge stomach that didn’t allow me to tie my own shoes, but there was just something amazing about having a big pregnant belly.  When the point came when I couldn’t suck in my belly anymore there was a real liberation with that.  After all, most women suck in our bellies constantly, but once you reach a certain point in pregnancy there’s no chance that you can suck anything in.  Instead, you just relax and let your belly be huge.  I can’t do that now, although thankfully my belly is nowhere near as huge as it was when I was pregnant.

I also liked how people urged me to eat more.  “You must be hungry! You have to eat to keep up your energy, carrying that heavy load around!” Nobody says that to me anymore, and frankly if anyone did I would surely take it as an insult.

I really miss feeling the baby move inside of me.  I’ll admit that there were many times when I was trying to sleep and my baby kicked me that I wasn’t so thrilled about it, but I don’t think there are many things that can compare to feeling a baby inside me with hiccups.  I distinctly remember hugging my belly and having my friends do the same while we all sang out, “Hug the baby!” What an awesome connection with a baby that isn’t even born yet.

I do miss making people take a second glance.  Once when my husband and I were in the waiting room at the doctor’s office – and I was about thirty-eight weeks pregnant – I jumped up and did a hula dance just because I knew it would be a ridiculous sight for everyone in the room.  A woman doing the hula in a waiting room is a little weird, but a really pregnant woman doing the hula in a waiting room is downright hilarious.

Most of all, I miss the powerful feeling that I was solely responsible for carrying around a life inside me.  It’s such a powerful feeling.  Nursing my baby was a similar feeling, but nothing really matches how I felt watching my belly go from it’s normal size to pretty darn huge because I knew I was capable of growing a baby inside me.

Endometriosis can increase the risk of premature delivery in the women who have undergone assisted reproduction procedures. This is based on results of a study conducted by Australian researchers which looked at more than 6000 births.

Endometriosis is a chronic condition where the endometrium (lining of the uterus) is found outside the uterus itself and extends into the ovaries, fallopian tubes, or the pelvis lining.  The cause of this disorder is not clear and it often goes undiagnosed during normal gynaecological check up. It is estimated to occur in about 1 out of every 10 females of childbearing age. Up to 44% of women with endometriosis do not show any symptoms. A friend of mine had 3 miscarriages before she was diagnosed with endometriosis.

Although the condition has always been suspected to cause pregnancy complications, this is the first large scale study to show a clear link between endometriosis and premature births.

Ovarian endometriosis can be detected by laparoscopy or ultrasound but many cases are only detected during prenatal check ups. The findings can have the following consequences:

• Women should be screened for endometriosis before undergoing assisted reproduction procedures.
• Corrective surgery of endometriosis should be considered for women who are considering reproductive procedures.
• Women with endometriosis should be closely monitored during pregnancy to reduce risks of premature delivery.

Last summer, the buzz was all about Thomas Beatie, “the pregnant man,” and his daughter Susan. Well, Beaties, step aside, now there’s something even better. A Spanish transsexual man claims he is 6-weeks pregnant with twins.

25-year old Ruben Noe Coronado Jimenez and his partner, 43-year old Esperanza Ruiz, happily announced the news to the world this week in the popular magazine Pronto. They plan to marry before the babies are born in September, and raise the children–both boys–together in Barcelona, Spain.

In every sense of the word, Coronado is still a woman. Once known as Estefania, Coronado had been undergoing the physical transformation of becoming a man. Photos of Coronado show a balding, bearded man. But Spanish law, as of last year, allows citizens to change their gender status without actually having sex change surgery (if the person is undergoing other kinds of gender-reassignment treatment, like hormones). The proud “mama” says she only retained her legal female status in order to undergo fertility treatment. Coronado took hormone treatment that would restart her periods, and then did in vitro fertilization. She plans to begin the administrative process that will legally transform her into a man this month. So, when she gives birth via cesarean section, she will actually be “he.”

Even though the pregnant soon-to-be-man announced the pregnancy via tabloid press, Coronado insists, “to protect my children I’m not going to sell my story now or in the future.” But she talked to the press in order that the world can start to see transsexual pregnancies as “normal.” But belly bumps are a different thing entirely. And since someone else will do it if she doesn’t, she may just sell a snapshot or two of “his” pregnant belly when the time comes. Can’t wait to see that one.

The obvious question in this case is, “Why didn’t Ruiz–the partner that intends to remain female–undergo the fertility treatment and carry the babies?”. And, as in the case with Thomas Beatie, there is a simple answer: the other partner couldn’t. Ruiz actually has two children from a previous relationship. But the aging mom was told by her doctor that she could not become pregnant again. So Coronado decided she would do it, even though she plans to become a man. And even though Spanish law doesn’t require it, Coronado does intend to complete the surgical sex job she interrupted. In a strange simile, Coronado compared her quasi-transgender status to having three hands. “You take advantage of them while you have them and you get rid of one of them when they get in the way.” Of course. When your uterus gets in the way, you just get rid of it.

So, are you buying it? Is transsexual pregnancy normal? And will Coronado be able to protect his children from the media?

In case you haven’t heard, pregnancy actually lasts for four trimesters. The so-called fourth is the recovery period after pregnancy, when you are returning to pre-pregnancy conditions and you’re getting used to life with a newborn. It can be challenging; while you’re trying to adjust to the new life you’ve created, your body is seemingly going haywire, with all sorts of new aches and pains in places that you hadn’t given much thought to in the past. And let’s not discuss the bleeding.

Most importantly, you’re trying to adjust to your new identity as a mother. While some women have “maternal instincts” seemingly from birth, others of us aren’t so lucky. I didn’t truly feel like a mom until several days after my daughter was born. Instead, I had some trouble adjusting to motherhood and the around-the-clock care that an infant requires.

The adjustment can be difficult, but there are things you can do to make it easier:

• Lower your expectations. Don’t expect things to go as planned; many times, they will not. By lowering (or even, in some cases, eliminating) expectations you’ll have a more realistic view of things.
• Rest. Don’t let yourself get too run down. Take a few minutes for yourself when you can, and relax, take a shower, call a friend – anything you need to recharge.
• Ask for help. Don’t try to be Super Parent – let others help you when possible, whether it’s help with the baby or for you. Getting someone else to do the laundry or give the baby a bottle can free up a few minutes for you to do something else.

Remember, the fourth trimester can be rough – not only are your hormones readjusting, but you’re also adjusting to life with a new baby. But with a little help you can make the time period easier.

I miss sleeping on my stomach.

Throughout pregnancy I laid on my left side as the American Pregnancy Association and most doctors recommend. This prevents compressing the inferior vena cava, which runs along the right side of your body. It also avoids putting pressure on the uterus, which happens if a pregnant woman sleeps on her back. Finally, sleeping on your left side increases the flow of blood and nutrients to the placenta.

I realized how much I miss sleeping on my back the other day when a pregnant friend of mine asked about a comfortable sleeping position for the late stages of pregnancy. Since I’ve been breastfeeding, I avoid lying on my stomach because I’ve been told it can slow milk production. It would be uncomfortable to lie on my stomach, anyway, as my breasts fill up with milk about three hours into the night. So it’s been more than a year than I’ve slept on my stomach–formerly my favorite sleep position!

But back to my friend’s question: what are the most comfortable sleeping positions in the second half of pregnancy when your belly seems to get in the way no matter how you turn?

The answer lies (no pun intended) in pillows — and lots of them.

If your partner doesn’t mind and there’s room in your bed, you may want to place a pillow behind you to keep you from rolling onto your back in your sleep. As your pregnancy progresses and you get larger, the pressure on your uterus from lying on your back may wake you. And it’s not that easy to roll back onto your side.

I found it comfortable to lie with my legs bent and a small pillow between my knees, too.

Finally, the third—and some people may say the most important – pillow should go under your abdomen in front of you to support your belly. Personally, I also liked clutching a pillow to my chest. It made me more comfortable and helped alleviate the tenderness in my breasts.

If you have a full-size body pillow you can use it to support most of your body to keep you comfortable. Since pregnant women tend to be warm all the time you’ll want to opt for one with a cool linen cover.

If you are also suffering from heartburn, the American Pregnancy Association recommends sleeping propped up with pillows. I know pregnant women who slept sitting up in an easy chair because it was the only way they could get comfortable. Hopefully the pillows will help you and you won’t have to go to such extreme measures.

Pregnancy goes by so very quickly. Before long you won’t need pillows to help you find unusual but comfortable sleep positions. Instead, you’ll spend half the night be contorting to fit yourself and your spouse around a co-sleeping toddler who is taking up more room than anyone could imagine for a three-foot tall human being.

My husband and I are having fun “guessing” the gender of our child that is due in August.  We’ve checked the Chinese Birth Chart, and we’ve pondered our child’s heart rate. We’ve looked at the way I’m “carrying”–which is all out in the front.  Does that mean it’s a boy?

I’ve also looked at my diet and my cravings to see if I could ascertain our child’s gender that way.  I’ve considered a few other “old wives’ tales” that my great grandmother told me about in an effort to discover the gender of our child.  My great grandmother was a lay midwife and had 6 of her own children, so she should have known a thing or two about babies!  I think anyway….

Yet, I am still uncertain as to the gender of our child.  I know–all that effort for what? I suppose it makes the pregnancy go faster?

Last night, my aunt asked me how active our child is in utero.  At this stage, I mostly feel flutters, so I can’t quite gauge it’s activity.  My aunt claims that her male children were more active in utero than her female children.  I suppose this held true for my pregnancies too; my son was more active than my daughters.

Have you noticed a difference in the activity level during your pregnancy between your male and female children? Do you think you can use this to determine gender?

I turned 35 last month, and I had my first baby in October, so I slipped just under the “AMA” (Advanced Maternal Age) or the oh-so-flattering “Elderly Prima Gravis” (pregnant for the first time after age 35) classification. But when you think about it, all the factors that automatically put older women into the “moderate risk pregnancy” category don’t occur overnight at age 35, but are gradual changes to the body. I’m fortunate that I avoided, by just four months, a lot of arguing with doctors over recommended tests and a lot of additional monitoring.

In spite of the slightly increased risk of complications that come with having a baby over the age of 35, there are a host of benefits that come with it after the child is born.

For me, I could not have imagined having a daughter one minute before it happened. What are some of the things we have working to our advantage when we’re a bit older and (presumably) wiser?

• Increased financial status – As a general rule, men and women in their 30s and 40s are earning more than their fresh-out-of-college 20-something counterparts. The odds are better that you own a house, have a reliable car, and maybe even have some savings tucked away for an emergency. Of course, there’s the old adage: “If everyone waited until they could afford it to have kids, there would be no babies!” And this is true. But waiting can definitely alleviate some of the financial stress that comes with children.
• More patience – I’ll admit I was selfish, impatient and even a bit flighty in my twenties. Now I am more settled into my life. I’ve done many of the things I’ve always wanted to do, seen some of the world, wasted many days and nights, and figured out exactly who I am and what I believe in. Maybe it’s this personal growth that has given me more patience. I don’t think I could have handled the frustration and ineptitude (mine) of being a new mom, the lengthy crying sessions (hers), or the sleepless nights (hers and mine!) when I was younger.
• We can appreciate it more – The odds of a successful conception and pregnancy decrease as you get older. Maybe this is why older parents seem even more grateful for our children. This thought struck me as I was reading my own baby book. My mom had me when she was 40. In the back of my baby book, she had placed a lengthy note, a beautifully-written update of my life that simply wouldn’t fit into the pre-determined spots in the baby book. One line stands out in my mind: “Sometimes I can’t believe she’s mine!”

This is exactly how I feel about Ashley (wow, I wish my mom was here so I could tell her that.) I look at this little girl and realize I couldn’t possibly love her more if I tried.

Some younger moms might say I would have done better than I think I would have raising a child when I was in my 20s, and that could be true. Certainly, I might have loved her just as much as I do now.

But I want to let all the new moms who are over 35 (or even close to the borderline!) know that not only is your child is a very special gift to you, you have done the right thing by bringing your baby into this world at this time – not a moment sooner, not a moment later! So wear that AMA badge with pride, and know that it means that you waited until you were ready!

As I was pondering all things pregnant this morning while gazing at my rapidly growing waistline, I wondered what my food cravings mean.  Do cravings tell you something, or is there no real reason for them other than to annoy your husband when you demand that he get you fried chicken take out at 11pm?

When I was pregnant with my older children, I craved carbohydrates.  All of my older children happen to be girls too.  I wonder if it was all the ice cream, pretzels, and cookies I ate during those pregnancies? Doesn’t that nursery rhyme say that little girls are made of  sugar and spice?

When I was pregnant with my son, I craved vegetables and meat.  With the child I am carrying now, I crave spinach souffle and sardines!  I don’t get it either, but it makes my husband laugh.  He tells me that he can’t wait until this child gets old enough to hear Popeye jokes.

My most embarrassing craving moment happened with my first child.  I had a craving for a sundae with whipped cream.  We lived in a very rural area and I stopped at both of the ice cream shops in town asking for a sundae with whipped cream.  Both of the shops had run out of whipped cream!  I actually refused to take the sundaes because of that and instead drove to the grocery store about a half and hour away to get ice cream and whipped cream.  By that time, I decided to just buy the whipped cream to eat.

I was eating a bowlful of whipped cream in my car when a neighbor spotted me!  She promptly gave me a long lecture on nutrition and scolded me for being so irresponsible.  I  patiently listened, waited until she left, and then resumed eating.  I felt so guilty afterwards though!

What food did you crave when you were pregnant?

When I was expecting my first child, I worked in a nursing home.  I really didn’t have to worry about my work clothes because it was pretty basic stuff and not too much room for individuality.

I really never showed until I was around 6 months pregnant.  At that time, I began to search for maternity clothes but our budget was so strained, I simply couldn’t afford to buy too many clothes.  A friend of mine decided to pass along the clothes she had sitting in her attic.  I was thrilled for the clothes!

When my pregnancy ended, my friend told me to just keep the clothes.  I was thrilled and stored them in the attic until my next pregnancy.  The one thing I didn’t consider though was the reality of  the timing of my pregnancies and how that would affect my wardrobe.

For example, I conceived my son a few summers ago.  I didn’t wear maternity clothes until fall, and then I could fit into small or medium outfits.  By the time he was born in spring, I had progressed to large maternity outfits mostly because I had a lot of excess fluid I was carrying.  This year, I began my pregnancy in early December and our child will be born in August.  I have NO summer maternity clothes because I was didn’t need them with my last pregnancy!

Sadly, at my “advanced maternal age”, I am the only one of my friends still bearing babies.  Sharing maternity clothes is not an option.  Oh well…looks like I just may have to go out and buy some NEW maternity clothes.  Part of me feels guilty splurging to buy new clothes when I know this is my last pregnancy.  What a waste of money!  Another part of me tells myself that I am worth that splurge.

What do you think? Did you buy new maternity clothes for yourself during your pregnancy? Did you wear second hand clothes?