When I grew up, I was plagued with a boy name. My name is Alexandra, but my friends have always called me Alex. I hated it. I was so ugly, my mom made me keep short hair, and my name just didn’t help. When I finally did outgrow the boy look, I still had trouble with my name. Once in middle school, a substitute teacher wrote me up for trying to sit in the “wrong” seat in class. (By the way, ‘Alex’ and it’s variants is a very popular girl’s name lately.)

But on the the other hand, I had four friends named Amy and three named Jennifer. What I always wanted for myself was a normal name–something that didn’t make me feel like a weirdo for having a boy’s name, but not such a popular name that I had to use my last initial all the time.

Needless to say, I wanted to be careful while choosing names for my children. When I was pregnant with my son in 1996, I lived in Korea. I was 23, married a year and a half, and none of my friends were having babies. So when my husband and I started talking about names, we really didn’t have any outside influences. I told him I had always liked the name Jacob for a boy. It flowed nicely together with our middle name choice, and so Jacob was our boy name. I had never personally known a soul named Jacob, but I thought it sounded nice. Classic, but not too old fashioned. We weren’t as sold on a girl’s name. We had two (Anja or Grace) and said if it was a girl, we’d just have to look at her and decide what fit. My best friend’s name was Tanja, but I certainly didn’t know an Anja or a Grace.

We had a boy. His name is Jacob. And like I said, I had never known anyone else with that name.

We returned to the States when he was just a few months old. Imagine my surprise when the first person I met with a baby the same age told me her son’s name was Jacob! (He had the same middle name, too!) We soon moved to a small town with a large Amish population. Many of their boys were named Jacob, but they always choose Biblical names, so I didn’t think about it. But then we moved again, and my son started Kindergarten. There were three Jacobs just in his class…

Turns out, Jacob was the 5th most popular boy name of the 1990s, and has been the #1 most popular name in the US since 1999 (according to the Social Security Administration). How could I have been so unlucky?

Then 11 years later, I became pregnant again. When our ultrasound revealed that the baby was a girl, we revisited the names. We had generally become enamored of Grace in the intervening 11 years. We told my mother-in-law. “Oh,” she exclaimed, “I don’t like names with one syllable. I’ll call her Gracie.”

Hmm. Nope. Couldn’t do Gracie. Besides, I know how to use the internet now and saw that Grace was fairly popular (it was not even on the radar back when I first thought of it in 1996). So the name conversation started again.

At church soon after that, a friend of mine who was due two weeks before me found out she was also having a girl. “Have you picked a name?” I asked. “Yes! Anya.” Different spelling; same name. I felt deflated. How could this happen? We went with a hybrid name. AnnaGrace. I still haven’t met anyone with that name, though I know a MaryRuth, JoLynn and a few other combos. A lady in the waiting room of my pediatrician’s office told me that combined names are very popular right now. Sigh.

There are sociologic implications behind how I could have picked the same names as millions of other women without having consulted them. The same childhood media influences, etc. But the bottom line is this: most of us want our babies to have names that do double duty. They fit in while standing out.

The easiest way to know if a name is “too” popular for you is to consult the internet. The Social Security Administration has compiled a handy list for every decade and recent individual years. There are several articles right here on BabiesOnline, too! But a word of caution: recent research supports the idea that boys with very unpopular names tend to have social problems. In that light, maybe Jacob isn’t so bad.

What about you? Do you like your name? How did you choose your baby’s name? And do you mind if it’s too popular?

I would love to have another child, and even another daughter. I already had a name for her until I saw a listing of popular baby names around the world. I guess I won’t be naming my daughter Sophie. I prefer unique names, and if I named a future daughter Sophie, she’d be sharing the name with many babies around the world. It is currently ranked #4 in England, # 2 in Germany and New Zealand, and the Sophie derivative Sophia was #5 in last year’s U.S. baby girl names .

There’s been numerous psychological studies that link names and people’s perceptions of them. For instance, what do you immediately think of when you hear someone is named Loser or Winner? Positive or negative thoughts? What about names like Temperance, or Charisma, or Cookie?

Do you know of anyone who has named their child something that the child as an adult legally changed? I do. And how about giving children extra long names that are dropped along the name for sheer impracticality? I would be an example of that last one.

Names definitely mean a lot, and parents are known to battle it out until well after the baby has arrived. It’s important to take in many considerations when naming the baby. The considerations could be uniqueness, future trauma the child may experience for being saddled with a ridiculous names (like Desiree Excaltacion — that would be my aunt, who demurred to be called Day instead). Other considerations include naming after older family members but making it sound more modern, or preferring traditional sounding names like Michael for a boy and Emily for a girl.

For those who’ve picked a name but don’t know whether it’s a right one, follow this one simple tip I read somewhere. Open the door to the backyard, yell the name in question 10 times. If by the end of it all, you still like the name, then it’s a keeper. But you’ll probably be yelling it a lot more than 10 times in the future!

One word–androgyny.

That’s right, the new trend in baby names according to those in the know is names that can work for either male or female babies. There used to be a time where you could pretty much guess the sex of a child when you heard a name. Perhaps I am dating myself?

When I was born, parents were naming their children Michael, John, Michelle or Jennifer. They wanted something conservative and sensible for the most part.

I notice that my friends who are having children today all want something unique and different. It strikes me funny that those who are looking for unique end up inevitably naming their child the same thing as many other parents named their children. The unique name is now–popular.

I think of when I named my daughter Emily 13 years ago. No one at that time was naming their child Emily. In fact, she was named in honor of her great-great-great grandmother Emily who came to America to start a new life. Emily is now the most popular name for girls and has been for several years.

Nine years ago I named my youngest child Grace. Many people asked me why I would chose to name a young child such an “old lady” name. I chose it for many reasons, but mostly because I liked it. Today, when I go to the park, I hear a number of parents calling out the name as they search for their wandering offspring.

Currently, there seems to be a bunch of Logans, Morgans, Madisons and Hunters. All of these names can be for both boys and girls. I think of how my friend from high school and I both considered naming our children the same name when we became pregnant in 2007. Her child was a girl; mine was a boy.

Oddly enough, I didn’t have a problem naming our son Kendall. My father’s name is Kenneth and it seemed to be a modern take on his name. I viewed it as a positive thing. My husband, upon finding out that our chosen name could also be given to a girl, nixed the name from his list. He wanted a masculine name for our son as he felt this was very important. He also wanted a unique name for our first born son. After naming four female children, I was ok with this.

What did we finally end up naming our son? Marshall. It was unique, but also masculine declared my husband.

How do you feel about this baby naming trend? Does it bother you to name a girl baby a name that can be considered masculine? Would it trouble you to find out that your son’s name can also be a name for a girl?

When my mom named my brother Joshua back in 1972 she swore it was considered an odd boy name. Nobody else had this name, and she was proud to bestow upon my brother a unique name that would not be common whatsoever. We all know how this turned out because if you walk through any mall or play area you’ll hear “Joshua, get over here!” or “Joshua, come to Mommy!” several times. Joshua is a common name nowadays, much to my mom’s chagrin.

When I named my babies I wanted to give them unique names too, but I didn’t want to go so far as to give them names that people would never be able to pronounce. I have a relatively unique name (Tamsen) and have always enjoyed the uncommon nature of my name. I also didn’t want my kids to have several friends with her same name. I want them to enjoy the fun that comes with a unique name.

My daughter is named Monet (pronounced Mo-nay, just like the famous Impressionist painter) and my son is named Abram (pronounced Ay-brum). There aren’t any other kids with their same names in any of the playgroups we attend. I did have to correct the attendant at the gym daycare who kept calling my daughter “Mo-nett” and plenty of people seem to think my son’s name is “Abraham,” but other than that I take great delight in telling people my children’s names.

If you plan on naming your baby something unique just know that you can’t get upset if people mispronounce their names. I just politely correct the pronunciation, but I understand that I can’t expect people to automatically know how to correctly pronounce a name they may have never seen before. I’m not snooty about it, and you shouldn’t be either.

Baby names are often the most debated decision among expectant parents. The will of family members and the media comes into play for many parents, who often start name lists before the sex of the baby is even known. Of course, the names chosen are often shaped by the century the parents are living it- and even the decade.

In 1907, the most popular girls? names were Mary, Helen and Margaret, followed by Anna and Ruth. The most popular boys? names that year were John, William, James, George and Charles. One hundred years later, the list looks a lot different. In a survey of the top 20 boys? and girls? names of 2007 only one of these names, William, appeared at all.

Names heard on television, particularly on soaps, have been shown to be a strong influence on the baby names chosen in any particular year. The name Madison was virtually unknown until the movie Splash came out, featuring a mermaid named Madison. Since then, Madison has been steadily climbing the charts and is now the third most popular name of BabiesOnline babies this year.? Next year?s names are impossible to predict, as they vary substantially from year to year.

New television and movie characters, as well as negative associations formed during the year, will no doubt shape the new year?s crop of names. Negative associations with names are often just as powerful as positive ones. People who associate a bad behavior with someone with a specific name have a hard time considering that name for their innocent new baby. So, at the end of 2008, we may have babies named after the new president, whoever he or she may be, new soap characters and perhaps babies named after heroes we have yet to hear from.

This list represents the most popular baby names that Babies Online members named their children in 2007. What did you name your baby?