New parents find out quickly just how fast time can pass with a baby. Once at home with a new arrival, it seems like the day and night blends into one, punctuated by dirty and wet diapers and (if you’re lucky) a nap or two.

While there’s no way to stop or turn back the clock, there are a few things you can do to savor the moment, no matter how sore, tired or sleep deprived you might feel.

• Take photos and/or video. It goes without saying that your cameras have been busy – probably even before baby arrived. Remember to take a picture and/or video as often as you can to document everything. You – as well as any family or friends you share it with – will be glad you did.

• Write it down. Keep a baby book to jot down your baby’s results from pediatrician appointments, keep track of vaccinations, and other details.

• Journal. When my daughter was born, I started a journal, chronicling every day with her. While it began as an everyday task, it soon became once or twice a week, and sometimes just a sentence or two noting something new she might have done that day. You can also keep an online journal right here at Babies Online. It’s fun to look back on it now and read about what she was doing in her infancy and babyhood – and to compare her notes with her little brother. Plus, someday when they are older, our kids will be given the books as their own keepsakes.

• Start a memory box. For each of our two children, I have a plastic bin where I stash any little keepsake items I want to hold onto, be it an outgrown outfit, invitations to their first parties, birthday cards, or other items. Each year I will start a new box for them, with the intention of putting together a scrapbook of their childhoods.

• Relax and try to savor the moment. Stop thinking about everything you need to do, haven’t done, or wish you had done and just enjoy the time you are having with your little one. It sounds trite, but he or she will never be this little again; enjoy it.

Finally, remember that those first few weeks will soon be past and things will get a little better. Baby (and you!) will sleep for longer stretches of time, your soreness will heal and you will begin to really appreciate your time with your new baby. And when you look back, you’ll be glad you took the time to document those crazy first few weeks – and beyond – with your little one.

Throughout my life I’ve gone through phases where I write poetry. Unlike other writing, which is a job, I find it relaxing, more like a game. My daughter just turned four months old, and I realized I still hadn’t written a poem for her.

I’m happy that the Babies Online site  owner has permitted me to share some of my poems, here, and I hope that other moms will relate to the themes. Maybe some Babies Online readers or fellow bloggers would like to share their own creative writing, too?

Milestones, Memories and “Mom-guilt”

I want to capture every memory
In poetry, pictures and prose
My every thought, your every step
Recorded for you to know.

The way your whole face smiles
When Daddy looks at you
And how you want to cuddle–
With us the whole night through.

But diapers and feedings and peek-a-boo
Leave little time for introspection
And as I hold you close I pray
I’m leading you in the right direction.

I wonder years from now
If you’ll look back and see
So many blank pages in your baby book
And wish I’d done it differently

When souvenirs of your youth are scarce
You’ll want to know the truth.
I should have taken time to write it down–
But I was too busy loving you.

]]> http://blogs.babiesonline.com/baby/milestones-memories-and-mom-guilt/feed/ 2 http://blogs.babiesonline.com/baby/grandparenting-from-a-distance/ http://blogs.babiesonline.com/baby/grandparenting-from-a-distance/#comments Wed, 11 Feb 2009 20:30:20 +0000 Dawn Allcot http://blogs.babiesonline.com/?p=9257

My daughter has only two living grandparents. She is also blessed to have two great-grandmothers, as well, and with the longevity on my husband’s side of the family, I’m pretty sure they will live long enough for her to remember them. I knew only one of my grandparents and none of my great-grandparents, so I’m happy my daughter has this opportunity.

However, both her Grammy and her Grandpa (both on my husband’s side) live out of state. This breaks her their hearts that they can’t get to see Ashley growing up, but we make the best of it.

Since Ashley was born, I’ve grown closer to my mother-in-law, and try to stay in touch with frequent phone calls. After all, she is the one person I know who loves to hear every single detail of Ashley’s day and the new things she does. Since I love talking about my baby, it’s a perfect match!

I try to take pictures at every milestone, including monthly birthdays. I upload them to the computer and e-mail my mother-in-law the albums. Photos are one way to keep in touch, but with today’s technology, there are many ways to help long distance grandparents (and other relatives) stay in touch with their growing grandchildren. Best of all, none of these ideas take a lot of time or cost a lot of money!

1. If you have your photos processed online, at a site such as Clark prints, you can upload photos and then have them shipped directly to the grandparent’s house. No trip to the post office? No hunting for envelopes and hoping you have the right postage? I can live with that. (Clark Color Labs will give you your first 30 prints for free! – click here for more information)
2. A blog. I just introduced Ashley’s Grammy to this blog as a great place—in addition to my frequent phone calls—to stay up-to-date on the developments in Ashley’s life. New moms can easily set up their own blog right here at Babies Online, where you can upload photos and stories for friends and relatives  to view.
3. Video. The possibilities to bring babies and grandparents closer are endless when you add video into the mix. You can take video and upload it to Youtube or your Babies Online Web page for people to view. Most digital cameras today have options to record a few minutes of video. Some events to capture in the first months of life include milestones such as baby’s first meal, rolling over, playing with a favorite toy, and even a few seconds of your little angel sleeping.
4. You can set up a Web cam and add another interactive element to phone calls. Since babies love looking at friendly faces, this is a great way for baby to get to know Grandma and Grandpa, maybe even before they meet in person!

Today’s society tends to scatter family members across the globe but fortunately, technology can bring us closer again.

Last year was my son’s first Christmas.  He got to see Santa several times during the Christmas season as part of our holiday traditions.  Santa appeared at my daughter’s school during a special breakfast; and he arrived at our house one night to ask the children what they wanted for the holiday.

When Santa came to our house, our son was just mesmerized! He just sat and stared.  At least he didn’t cry!  When our son saw Santa at the school breakfast, he was curious.  He pulled his beard down and grabbed a handful of whiskers!  Even Santa laughed at that one.

I assumed that this year my son would also enjoy his visit to Santa because he’d done so well last year.  My assumptions were wrong.  We took our son to see Santa and when he sat down on Santa’s lap, I saw his little chin start to quiver.  The ladies in the elf costumes tried to re-direct him and I smiled my best smile.  My son would look at me and smile and then turn to Santa and begin to cry.

The experienced elves were able to take a photo nevertheless and we were done.  I went up on the platform, picked up my son, and told him he did a wonderful job.  My son took one last look at Santa and began to cry.

In talking to other parents, I found out that “Santa phobias” are not that uncommon.  It seems that many children go through a stage where they are frightened by characters in costume.  This includes people in Santa costumes and people dressed up as amusement park characters.  I’ve found that the best way to handle “Santa phobia” is to make the visit short and sweet.  If my children were very scared, I just cut the visit short and left.  I’ve seen parents trying to cajole their child who was screaming in fear to sit for a photo.  In my mind, it’s not worth the emotional trauma to the child–there’s always next year!

Do you take your children to get their picture with Santa?  How do you handle the situation if your child is scared?

Let’s face it; we all want to expose our kids to interesting experiences so they can have some great memories.  We want to snap the perfect picture and show off what a fun time our kids have.  I think  that most new parents spend an awful lot of time looking for great places to take their kids in order to build up experiences for their babies and toddlers.  I know I was guilty of this – and still am to this day – just because I want my kids to see the world around them and to always see new things.

The problem is when parents get so frantic and determined about getting a great photo or exposing their kids to something interesting and different that they forget the reality of the situation.  I have a great example of this that I witnessed the other day.

Our city has one of the best zoos in the nation, so I take my kids there often.  It’s especially nice to walk through the jungle area during these cold winter months because we can shed our heavy coats and wander through a really good replica of various jungles throughout the globe.  One of the best things about the jungle at our zoo is the fact that some of the animals roam around relatively free; the zoo apparently knows how to keep certain animals back from the public using ponds and barriers, so it’s a really interactive experience that even the youngest kids can enjoy.

When we were there the other day we walked past a set of branches that had a monkey-type animal perched on top.  I’ve walked through this jungle about a million times with my kids so I knew right away that this wasn’t quite right.  Apparently the animal got past the barriers and found the walkway for visitors.  I immediately grabbed my kids and pulled them back, but a dad from the family behind us got all excited and shoved his young son up next to the animal.

First his son recoiled, then the dad pulled him back in front of the animal.  Then the animal swiped at his son, the son jumped away, and the dad actually pushed his son back so he could get a photo.  At this point we were scurrying away to make sure my kids didn’t get some bizarre primate injury that would be really hard to explain to the emergency room staff, but I was still amazed that this dad was so concerned about getting a picture of his son with the animal that he completely disregarded the obvious threat the animal posed.

I’m assuming the kid came out of it all okay because it seems to me a kid injured by a wayward zoo animal would make the news.

I think that sometimes parents get so excited at the prospect of getting a perfect picture or having the perfect experience that they might totally miss the bigger picture.  I would hope that I would never put my kids in harm’s way in an attempt to get a fantastic photo, but I can see how people can easily get carried away.

As a former military wife, I learned to deal with the fact that my husband was away from home quite frequently. After he retired, I somewhat expected him to get a local job and for him to be home more often. He was hired by a contractor and travels frequently out of state with his civilian job.

Our son is still young, but I wanted to make sure that he knew that his father was still “here” with us even if he wasn’t at home. At my son’s age, talking on the telephone really isn’t practical. Of course, when “Dee Dee” calls home, I make sure to hold the phone up to our son so he can hear his father’s voice. You should see his smile!

I decided to use some of the things that we learned during our family readiness sessions to help our son through the times when his dad is away with work.

1. Have your spouse or partner tape a bedtime story which you can play for your child at night time.
2. Keep a picture of the traveling parent in a central location or give your baby a wallet to play with that has laminated pictures tucked in the billfold.
3. Count down the days until the grand homecoming.
4. Talk about your spouse or partner during the day as you care for your child. For example, while dressing your child, you may mention that his father’s favorite color is blue. This way, you offer your child a way to connect to the parent who is not present.
5. Celebrate homecoming day! When your partner returns home, make it a special occasion for everyone. Remember to include your child in the festivities.

Do you have a partner that travels frequently? Please share any tips or ideas that you use to help your child deal with the situation.

My daughter was born with a full head of black hair. I was a bald baby and my husband was born with hair covering his entire body, so I think we got a happy medium with our daughter. To this day I can picture the adorable swirl her hair did on the back of her head, and I can’t see a newborn baby’s hair swirl without thinking back on my daughter when she was a newborn.

Although plenty of parents have told me that their baby’s hair fell out after birth, my daughter retained all her hair and promptly got to work growing more. Most people who met my daughter commented on her impressive head of hair, and I probably could have started putting barretts in her hair right away if I wasn’t terrified that she would have plucked them out and choked on them. So I let her hair go wild, and it spiked up on the top of her head as though she was electrified.

Basically, she looked like a really cute Fraggle. It was awesome.

There was only one day during the newborn stage when I really tried to tame her hair into something a little more girly. My husband was about to graduate from college, so I had made an appointment to get a portrait done of our daughter holding the tassel from his graduation cap. I was really sneaky about it; he had no idea I intended the photo to be his graduation gift.

Wouldn’t you know it…after I had spent the morning wetting down her hair and getting it “just so,” my husband arrives home from work because he forgot something. He walks right up to her and – of course – tousles her hair in an affectionate gesture. So much for the perfect hairdo for the portrait.

The portrait will live in infamy: There’s my daughter, cute as can be, grasping a tassel and proudly displaying her Fraggle hair. It’s one of my favorite pictures.

Sneakers of different colors, shapes and sizes. These pictures are sending you this message: “Walk, run, and jump with us!”

As the oldest and most well-known heart advocacy group, the American Heart Association is actively endorsing the FIT Kids Act. As part of its campaign, AHA organized the Sneakers For FIT Kids Photo Petition, which you can find as an album in Flickr.

The FIT (Fitness Integrated with Teaching) Kids Act addresses the epidemic of childhood obesity in the US. The Act was introduced in Congress in July 2007 and in the Senate on October 2007. If passed and enacted, this act will improve on the No Child Left Behind (NCLB) Act “to require that all schools, districts and states include the quantity and quality of PE in the report cards currently sent to parents. It would also ensure that children get the support they need to be active and make healthy food choices.”

By sending in your sneaker photos, you are giving your support for the FIT Kids Act. So take out your cameras and your sneakers. But don’t just stop there. Let’s all get moving towards FITNESS.