A school board in Neenah, Wisconsin has forbidden birthday sweets on the school premises. If you can come up with a sweetless party and sugar-free party favors, then you are allowed to celebrate your child’s birthday at school. Otherwise, go elsewhere. This is the school board’s latest measure against childhood obesity as reported at LiveScience.

Has it really come to this? What are we going to ban next? Trick or Treating? Christmas parties? Easter egg hunts?

I firmly believe in moderation when it comes to sweets, as I’ve written in my posts again and again. I also believe there are valid restrictions at school that should be followed. In one of my sons’ preschool classes, the teachers specifically requested this year that party goodies be free from nuts and chocolates out of consideration for kids with allergies to these foodstuffs. That’s reasonable. And my son was the first one to remind of these. “No chocolates or nuts, mommy. I don’t want my friends to be ill.”

I also try to go for healthy food and party favors without taking the fun out of the party. I serve only juice and water instead of soda, for example. I go for banana or carrot cakes, dark chocolates, and whole grain cookies. A few gum drops and gummi bears here and there for color can’t hurt.

I agree that there is reason for concern considering the current estimate of 16% incidence of children obesity in the US. However, studies have shown that food intake is only one of the many factors involved in this problem. Physical activity, genetics, and environmental factors are also involved.

Recent studies have shown that exercise especially plays an important role in controlling children’s weight. There are many schools out there which have launched anti-obesity programs through healthy food and exercise and some have shown some degree of success. In Switzerland, health insurance companies will soon be paying for special fitness exercises for overweight children conducted by certified fitness instructors and centers.

But is such a radical move as banning birthday sweets really necessary? What do you think?

A few weeks ago I was invited to a party by a friend of mine. She sent out invitations via e-mail and at first I was pretty apprehensive because it said something along the lines of “Come to my HouseParty!” which to me screamed of a home party where you have to sit through cheesy presentations and then tick off the hostess if you don’t buy something. Upon further investigation I found out that nothing is sold at the party, but you get to go home with a ton of free samples.

Apparently the hottest marketing scheme lately is to send people free stuff to host a party so folks can get their hands on products and think positively about the brand. The party I attended was awesome; we watched the season premier of Lipstick Jungle before it was on television while munching on flavored popcorn and then left with gift bags stuffed with microwave popcorn, makeup, coupons, and other goodies. Nothing was sold at the party and it was a lot of fun.

So of course I hopped onto HouseParty.com and signed up to host a party too. Soon I received an e-mail saying I was approved for a party and the next thing I knew there was a box at my door filled with pasta, coupons, timers, hacky sacks, and other fun stuff. I had a bunch of friends over for a party that was essentially catered for free by Barilla, and all my friends got to leave with gift bags filled with goodies. It didn’t cost me a thing.

If you’re like me you love free stuff, and it’s even better when you can share free stuff with your friends!

Okay. We know how much you love that tiny pink tutu with the matching headband but your baby outgrew it at least six months ago and she’s getting odd looks from the other babies at story time. Instead of holding on to clothes that have passed their load limit, consider taking a picture of your baby in her favorite outfit and holding a clothing swap party. Mothers have been hoarding ill-fitting baby clothes for too long, it’s time to break free and regain your basement!

The best part of these shindigs is the stories that go along with the clothes.

“Steve’s mother bought this for Alex when he was born” Alicia told us at a recent gathering. Holding up a frilly lavender dress, we knew more about Steve’s mom than we wanted to and the look on Alicia’s face filled in any other questions floating around; Alex happily munched on his plastic truck and ignored the women sending him pitying glances.

I wanted to unload the boxes of clothes from five girls. The ones that had been mended or washed so many times you couldn’t tell a Carters from an OshKosh were sitting in bags waiting for the donation truck but I clung to these last bits of babyhood like that tiny splooge of potatoes at the bottom of the baby food jar. These women would know how to treat a hand knit sweater that fit for about twenty minutes but I couldn’t bear to part with it. Until now.

Inviting the women was easy. My neighborhood teemed with women in various stages of motherhood, from waddling to swaddling. Spreading the word with email shot like wildfire across our town. Arriving with bags and babies under their arms, my living room became a Mecca for snowsuits and snap-up pants, rumba panties and impossibly tiny socks. Naked children ran through the house while their mothers chatted about storing breastmilk or who was new at the Pediatrician’s office. It was a great way to meet new moms and find a pair of shoes at the same time; it was multi-tasking at its finest.

Try a clothing swap in your neighborhood today. It’s good for the planet, great for your budget and you don’t have to feel guilty about no one wearing that freakishly pink outfit your grandmother bought your son.

Personalized and professionally printed invitations. Tarpaulin. Theme cakes. Catering. Separate gifts for children guests and adult guests. Special gifts for godparents. Requests for specific attire to fit the theme. Costumes made. Entertainment. Activity Booths. Personalized Guest Book. Photo Mosaic. Balloon or Flower Arches. A gift registry. A photo and video team. A secondary photo team. And six to eight months of planning.

Maybe it’s because i’m a first-time middle-income parent that’s why I am totally baffled by this. How come birthday parties have evolved into such a production that one has to exert the same effort one did in planning a wedding?

I understand how, if you have the means, you would want nothing but the best for your child. I am just wondering though about the wisdom of spending all that energy (and money) into a one-day affair which your child (and his guests) may enjoy but never really remember. Also, I cannot help but think that it may be putting yourself up for a fall, because now you’d be expected to throw a bigger party next time, or get more creative in entertaining the guests, or give away cuter souvenirs. And then, of course, you will be hardpressed to deliver the same for all your kids.

Or am I just being a party-pooper here?

No matter where in the world you go, children’s parties are a production number laden with games, activities, and energy burner food. In the Philippines, a children’s party is never complete without the requisite spaghetti, hot dogs, marshmallows, and orange juice. Throw in at least three high-energy games with an equally highly energetic party emcee, tons of prizes and candies, and you have the basic skeleton for a “successful” children’s party.

Coming from such a hyper culture as that, it is a welcome respite planning or attending children’s parties in Leuven, where my 5 year-old son attends kleuterschool (kindergarten: ‘kleuter’ is kindergartener. Most of his invites come from his close group of playmates in the classroom, and more often than not, he has been the sole male guest at the birthday parties of his female classmates. “He’s sweet”, one father told me when I picked up my son after a party. But I digress.

Parties are generally small. Parents normally consult with their children on the guest list and the usual question is, “Who do you want to attend your birthday party?” The celebrant nominates at most 10 children (and this is already a big number; it is possible to have only 2 guests plus the celebrant) and the invites are written by hand on Disney postcards and then given to the children’s class teacher who then puts the invite in the schoolbags of the invited ones. Parties are usually held in the home and the best way to find the address is by looking out for 2-3 balloons taped to the front door. It never fails; you can never get lost once you’ve found the street. Parties last no more than 3-4 hours in the afternoon, usually on a Saturday with the occasional Wednesday afternoon schedule owing to the half day schedule of all school children until High School in Belgium.

No parents are present at these parties except those of the celebrant. There will usually be one game or activity, a snack of pancakes (pannenkoeken) and juice for the children all throughout the afternoon and right after the singing of “Lang zal hij/zij leven”, the Flemish birthday song which is translated as “Long may he/she live”, the kids have a slice of the taartje, or cake. There will be the ubiquitous sweets and a small token present for the invited guests and the party is over. Although the Belgians are not known to be as punctual as their German neighbors, they still do adhere to the times set. If they say the party is from 14.00-17.00, the party will long be over if you pick up your child at 17.30.

Like I said previously, coming from a culture heavily influenced by the Spanish notion of fiesta, this quieter version of a birthday party is by far more relaxing, less stressful, and much easier to prepare for. Try it sometime! You’ll still be smiling at the end of the day and maybe even squeeze in a dinner date to cap the night.