It’s a parenting quandary that has been around for years: which is harder, the adjustment from having no kids to having kids, or going from one child to two (or more)? When my husband and I found out that we were expecting baby number 2, it was a question we asked every parent we knew who had more than one child. The responses were mixed. Each parent firmly believed that they had the right answer, and they did – for their family. However, it goes without saying that each family is different, and the only way to know the answer for yourself is to experience it.

At first, we just believed whatever anyone told us – that is, when it was what we wanted to hear. Oh, they’d say, going from zero to one is hard! Once you have one, any additional kids are a cake walk. After all, you’ve experienced it once – you are a pro!

It turns out, this couldn’t have been further from the truth. Yes, we had experienced it once – we already had a daughter. Our second born is a boy and, for us, the experience was like being new parents all over again. The difference in his anatomy forced us to change our diaper changing process (more wash cloths were kept handy next to the changing pad to deflect or absorb any spraying that inevitably took place once he was de-diapered). And he is, of course, a different person from our daughter and responds differently to, well, everything. She liked being swaddled; he kicks off the blankets. He sucks his thumb; she never did. He nurses; she was bottle fed. He laughs easily and often; she is still one of the most serious kids we’ve ever met.

Despite their similar DNA, they are two decidedly different people – and two is definitely harder than one, at least for our family.

If you have more than one child, which was a harder transition for you?

Each generation certainly has its own way of doing things. I’ve recently noticed that this especially applies to parenting – not only does everyone have their own way of doing things, but they seem to get tremendous joy out of handing out advice to others.

My parents’ generation (the Baby Boomers) seems to be all about the here and now. For example, when my daughter stopped sleeping through the night at just a few months of age, they suggested that we should start her on solids. They had given their own daughter rice cereal while she was still in the hospital after delivery. We explained that with food allergies in our family, we were holding off on starting solid foods until at least six months of age, and possibly later.

They are also decidedly anti-thumb. My son began sucking his thumb at around one week of age; my husband and I had mixed reactions. On the one hand, we had planned to not give him a pacifier unless it seemed like

he needed or wanted it, so he seemingly had decided for himself that he wanted something. On the other hand, we worried that once he did start with a pacifier (or, it seemed, his thumb), that we wouldn’t be able to break him of the habit and he would be in elementary school with a pacifier in his mouth. We’ve since relaxed and now think of it as a healthy way to self-soothe, and sometimes even encourage him to “find his thumb” when he is upset. Our parents’ generation, however, doesn’t seem to believe in self soothing by thumb sucking; every time they see him with his thumb in his mouth, they comment on how hard it will be to break the habit, and have even suggested putting pepper juice on it to make it taste bad.

While I’m sure they all mean well, this advice giving (especially unsolicited) can be annoying. However, when assured that we are doing the best for our kids based on our own research and gut instincts (not to mention our pediatrician’s recommendations), they do tend to back off. And once our kids have kids, we’ll probably do the exact same thing to them. I hope that they, too, will recognize that we mean well.

When we found out we were having another baby, we thought things were going to be easy. After all, we’d been through it already. We knew how to change a diaper, how to swaddle, how to get the car seat in and out of the car without waking up the baby. What else was there to know?

It turned out, there was still a lot we didn’t know. Comparatively speaking, our first born was easy. There were only a couple of time when we panicked over something that didn’t seem quite right to us, but there were never any big scares that had us speeding to the pediatrician’s office – or, worse, to the hospital.

I wish I could say the same thing about our son. We quickly learned that having a boy was like being new parents all over again. In many ways he was like out daughter – he is easy to soothe (usually a diaper change or a little milk would do the trick) – but in many other ways he is very different. We had him circumcised while in the hospital and had to learn how to take care of that. In addition, we learned that after the area supposedly heals, there’s still a lot more going on – and that sometimes it can apparently look scary and pink but be completely normal (if you are wondering about your own baby or are concerned about something, please check with your own pediatrician – it never hurts to ask).

We also learned just how much a baby can spit up (a lot!). We could probably count on one hand the number of times our daughter spit up during or after a feeding when she was an infant; our son spits up at least once during a feeding, and often afterwards as well. We’ve leaned to keep a bib around his neck nearly constantly (only removing the bib when he is asleep or during an outfit change) and that receiving blankets make excellent burp cloths.

So while we thought we had known everything we needed to know, our son has also taught us humility – that just because we’ve been through it once doesn’t mean we know it all. He continues to teach us every day – and we never stop wanting to learn.

March 18th is Forgive Your Parents Day.  Really.

My friends and I often joke about what our kids will eventually complain about when they’re adults.  We work so hard to be the best parents possible but it’s rare to find people who make the claim that their parents did everything perfectly.  Most of us can only hope for our kids to say “My parents did the best they could do” when they’re adults because no matter how incredibly hard we try to be the best parents we can be, there will always be something we do wrong.

Well then, thank God for Forgive Your Parents Day.

What will my kids eventually need to forgive my husband and I about? The first thing that springs to mind right now is my husband’s absence.  As a military member he comes and goes and sometimes spends months away from home.  We’re all proud of what he does, but I know his absence takes a toll on the kids.  They’re stuck with me, and since I’m trying to be both mom and dad while also holding the house together and meeting all my writing deadlines, I’m sure I’m less than pleasant sometimes.  Maybe years down the road, on a future March 18th, my kids will make the following proclamation:  “I forgive Dad for being gone all the time and Mom for being so busy.”

I’m a lot stricter than my parents ever were with me when I was a child.  They were very laid back when it came to parenting; my brother and I spent a lot of time wandering around and playing instead of doing anything structured.  There weren’t many rules other than “come home when the streetlights come on” and “if you’re going to swear, don’t do it in front of your Nana.”  So it’s a little strange that I’m much more strict with my kids, although I wouldn’t say I’m extremely strict.  At any rate, on a future March 18th, perhaps the proclamation will be, “I forgive my mom for being strict.”

What do I need to forgive my parents for? I don’t know.  There is nothing incredibly profound that sticks out, and I can honestly make the statement that my parents did the best they could.  I can only hope that someday my kids can make the same claim.

My grandmother tells me that parenting is a grand 25 year experiment and investment.  After 25 years, supposedly, you can see the results of your investment.  My oldest is 15, so I still have a decade left to go before I know if this is true or not.

Do you ever look at your child and wonder?  Do you wonder what he will be like when he “grows up”?  I do.   I worry that my son may decide to be a soldier like his Daddy, his Grandpa, and his Great-Grandpa.  I know it sounds silly, but I was struck with this fact the other day as my husband gave my son a proper “buzz cut” with his military clippers.  Hopefully, by the time my son is old enough to enlist, war will be outlawed.  OK, I know that won’t happen, but I can dream.

Yesterday, my husband was doing some construction work on our house.  Without even thinking, he put down the hammer and our son picked it up, and began banging away.  I noticed that he held the hammer in his left hand, just like my dad.  My dad also happens to be a construction worker.

Several months ago, we had our refrigerator repaired and I noticed that my 1 year old was laying on his belly, watching the repairman look under the refrigerator to see what the problem was.  I was amazed at how he concentrated on that repairman!  My girls wouldn’t have even cared.

It shall be interesting over the coming decades to see what talents and interests our son has.  As we encourage him to explore those interests and talents, I’m sure that it will be an interesting journey.

Do you ever wonder what your baby will be when he or she grows up?

When I was pregnant I sifted through all the different baby sites.  It soon became apparent to me that while some of the blogs presented straight-forward information there were also other blogs that tried to keep readers engaged in the website by delivering horrific stories about terrible labor experiences and worse situations.  I specifically remember reading one blog that told the story of a woman who was in labor with her first baby who’s husband drove her out to a log cabin and left her there to have the baby.  It was at that point that I decided I didn’t need to read any more stories on baby sites that were designed to freak pregnant women out.

This is one of the reasons why I have always really liked Babies Online.  The information presented within the blogs is always informative, never alarmist and oftentimes entertaining.  By the way, I’m not just saying that because I happen to write for this blog, but because I personally enjoy reading all the posts and have other friends who also read the blogs on Babies Online and really like what they see.

Guess what? I’m not the only one who has noticed that Babies Online is one of the best blogs around.  Babies Online was voted one of the best blogs for expectant parents by the Ultrasound Technician Schools website. Babies Online’s blog is in the top five of the list, and if you ask me, it’s rightfully so.

When it comes to pregnancy and parenting, sometimes it can be hard to find accurate information that isn’t overwhelming or designed to scare the heck out of you.  Sift through the blogs here on Babies Online and you’ll find great information that won’t keep you up at night worrying that something may go wrong.

I bumped into another mom yesterday whom I hadn’t seen for quite a while. Our now 9- year old sons were friends a couple of years ago, when they were in the same class, which meant that she and I were the hosts of several playdates.

One thing that I always remember about her is that she is very much into being a full-time mom, driving her kids around like a chicken without a head, throwing great at-home birthday parties, practically camping out on the baseball field during baseball season…you get the picture.

When our boys were buddies and I was first inside her house, I instantly loved her taste and decorating style. I asked about a couple of unique paintings hanging on the walls. She had a story for each of them and seemed to be a bit of a connoisseur of art. When she gave me the house tour, we went down to the finished basement last, where she explained that this was the place for her children’s artwork (in other words, it wasn’t worthy of the main floor). She had some of her boys’ paintings and drawings framed, hanging on the basement walls.

While it was nice to see her boys’ work hanging on the walls, I thought it was interesting that someone so “kid-centric” had none of her kids’ art on the main floor. I thought about a relative of mine whose kitchen was plastered with kids’ drawings from the time they could scribble with a crayon. That, of course, was to the other extreme.

That same relative referred to her house as being her children’s house as much as it was her and her husband’s house.

Then, there’s a neighbor of mine who has taught her children that their house belongs to the parents; the children simply live there until they are old enough to have homes of their own. This is a very clear way of showing that Mom and Dad make up the rules—they’re in charge.

I think my husband and I fall somewhere between these two “types” of parents. I love to hang up my boys’ artwork in the kitchen, yet I have my own sense of decorating and would never plaster kids’ artwork all over the walls, as my relative did. I look forward to displaying that wonderful “first art” made by our 8 month old, when he’s big enough to color.

Our house belongs to all of us. Mom and Dad make up the rules, but we aren’t too strict. When I cook dinner, sometimes the kids get what they get and sometimes I’ll give them a choice, if it’s a laid back kind of night when I haven’t planned a big meal. They can decorate their rooms pretty much as they like, as long as they’re not destructive in any way. (I get to do whatever I like in baby’s room, since he doesn’t know the difference!).

How do you handle the decision-making in your house? Will you or do you ban children’s artwork from certain rooms or the nicely decorated first floor?

When I had my daughter last October, it was the first time I’d been around a baby in nearly two decades.

While I did a lot of research on pregnancy and childbirth my nine months of pregnancy, for some reason I was so caught up in the adventure of “having” a baby that I didn’t think about what it would be like to raise a baby. Just as I turned to pregnancy books before my little one was born, I turned to parenting books in the first few weeks after her birth.

Here is a short list of the titles I would recommend, buy for close friends and keep on my bookshelf for years to come.

1. What to Expect the First Year by Heidi Murkoff – Just like What to Expect When You’re Expecting, this conversational tome is comprehensive and well-organized. While the authors recommend and rely on pediatrician’s advice more often than my personal philosophies would prefer, the book literally covers every topic a new parent could need. I turn to the book each month to see how my daughter is doing regarding milestones, and frequently throughout the month for parenting tips and tricks. I plan to build the entire library of “What to Expect” titles in the coming years.
2. No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley– This practical book outlines a gentle, effective way to start your newborn on the path of sleeping through the night. Didn’t start early? The book also offers techniques to help infants over four months old to begin falling asleep on their own and sleeping through the night. Pantley is not against co-sleeping, but does offer tips for parents who want to break that cycle of having the baby in bed with them. The book also addresses the psychological factors behind night-time feedings, asking mothers to decide if they are ready, emotionally, for their baby to sleep through the night or if they’re still craving that late-night, quiet contact.

 

3. How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of your Doctor by Robert Mendelsohn – For those looking for an alternative medicine/natural health approach to child-rearing, this book provides practical advice and solutions. Mendelsohn asserts that there’s rarely a reason to involve your pediatrician and gives you the knowledge to diagnose and treat many common ailments. I’ll be referring to this book in many instances before I call my baby’s doctor.

 

4. Anything by Dr. Sears – The “Dr. Spock” of our generation, Dr. Sear’s volumes are comprehensive, informative and authoritative. He advocates attachment parenting, but also teaches balance in the family and a common sense approach to parenting. As the father of eight children, including noted author and pediatrician Dr. Robert Sears, his advice can be trusted.

 

5. The Nursery Collections – or any other comprehensive volume of children’s nursery rhymes and short stories. I know the first time I was faced with singing a classic like “The Wheels on the Bus” to my daughter, I completely blanked on the words. While my sister assured me the baby doesn’t care if I’m singing the right lyrics or even in tune, it bothered me! A collection of rhymes and songs will save your sanity and give you a constant arsenal of baby entertainment.

 

6. Dr. Seuss Books – For a limited time you can receive TWO FREE Dr Seuss books and a FREE TOTE BAG from Babies Online. You can find more baby freebies right here at Babies Online including free baby & parenting magazine offers and more!

Readers, what are your favorite parenting titles?

My 12-week old daughter absolutely hates having her feet exposed. Even in the hospital, if one little foot worked itself free of the swaddling, she would cry and cry. She spent the first eight weeks of her life clad in blanket sleepers so I wouldn’t have to worry about an exposed foot waking her in the middle of the night.

When I started dressing her in little pants and onesies, I always took care to inspect the inside of her socks for stray strings that could wrap around one of her little toes. But I never thought to check the inside of her footie pajamas.

Today while I was writing a blog post my husband was watching the baby. I ran into our room when I heard him call out, “Come here, I need your help.” His voice was calm but urgent; I knew it was an emergency of some kind.
We have a changing table in our bedroom so I expected to walk into a poop-filled disaster. Instead, I saw my husband with the baby scissors out, doing something with our daughter’s wriggling foot.

“She has a string wrapped around her toe,” he said.

I calmed my daughter with kisses and stroking and simultaneously held the other foot down while he tried to extricate the nylon string that had wrapped itself tightly, in several layers, around our daughter’s middle toe, which was quite red. It was scary but I remained calm… of course, he didn’t want to pull the string and wind up cutting her, but we had to make sure every bit of string was removed.

When it was finally done, I massaged her toe and foot to get the blood flowing, and made sure she could still wiggle that toe. She seemed none the worse for the wear, and stopped crying as soon as we had finished.

Before dressing her again, I turned the pajamas inside out to remove every small string I could find. From now on, I will check every piece of clothing before I put it on her for any bit of string or thread. Even threads that are shorter than half-an-inch, too small to get wrapped around a finger or toe, should be cut. Any small thread can suddenly pull and turn into a giant, dangerous string.

This is also a good time to remind parents that baby’s clothes should not have strings or bows that hang down, and it’s a good idea to keep strings off your own clothes, as well. I’ve pulled all the strings out of my hoodies and I tuck the strings on my sweatpants and pajamas into my pants.

Am I a bit paranoid about this? Probably. But a friend of mine has a son who lost his finger when it got wrapped around the string of a window shade. And I remember when my nephew was only 2 years old, we had to pull over on the side of a major parkway to extricate his finger, which had gotten trapped by the stringy hair of his favorite Rugrats doll.

Our “string adventure” this morning was enough of a close call for me that I will be even more vigilant in the future. I know I can’t protect my daughter from every danger in this world, but I will do everything I can.

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and 3 month old son.  Life is slightly crazier now than it was a few short months ago.  Before my son was born, going out to get the groceries or even going outside for a walk to the park was simple and fast.  Now, it seems like getting ready to leave the house is a huge ordeal!

First of all, I have found myself having to convince my daughter that it will be fun to go out.  I’m not sure why, but she often states that she would rather stay home than to do anything (shopping, a visit to the library, visit a friend etc.) until we actually get to where we are going when she admits that she is glad that we did leave the house.

Getting ready to leave the house these days involves making sure that everyone is fed (my daughter eats a leisurely breakfast and my son is breastfed), everyone is ready for the day and we are all dressed appropriately for the weather.

Once I get the kids (and myself) ready, it is time to actually venture out of the house.  This often involves multiple trips to the car.  First, I take my daughter out and buckle her into her car seat.  Then I grab my diaper bag and any other luggage and finally I grab my son.

After I get everyone settled in the car, it is time to start it, warm it up and scrape off the snow and ice.  Lately, there have been more than a few times where I have successfully made it to this step only to find out that my son has a poopy diaper and we have to all go back inside, get undressed, change a diaper and start again.  By this point approximately an hour has passed and we are too close to either lunch or dinner to make it worth while making a second attempt at our outing and my daughter ends up getting her way with us staying home.

One day a few weeks ago, I had the kids in the car and while I was attempting to scrape the snow and ice off, I broke off a wind shield wiper.  I tried for a good 10 minutes to get the wiper back on with no success and we all ended back in the house with me soaking wet and frozen, a crying poopy baby and a supportive and sweet preschooler who helped me feel better.  Sometimes, I think my life could be written into a comedy act!

Hopefully with the New Year will bring better luck with my attempted outings and I will actually make it out of the house more than once or twice a week with my kids!

One of the things about being a new mom that totally caught me by surprise was the complete lack of time to myself.  I guess I figured I would be able to steal away occasionally to gather my thoughts or to catch a little break, but I soon discovered that – at least in my situation – there were hardly any breaks for me at all.  If I wasn’t nursing I was cleaning up a diaper, or if I wasn’t trying to comfort my baby to stop her from crying I was changing her clothes because of a new spit-up incident.  It never ended, and although I adored my baby like nothing else in the world there were plenty of times when I felt like I was going to go bonkers because I could never catch a breather.

Hopefully you have a spouse or family member who is willing to give you breaks once in a while, or at least a newborn who likes to nap for long stretches of time.  Either way, you should have a few things that you use to get a short break that refresh and rejuvenate you without taking a lot of time.  I know some people advise, “Take a leisurely walk around the block” or “Enjoy a nice bubble bath,” but I think my list is a lot more realistic and doable during the hectic first few months with a new baby.

1.   Have a cup of tea or coffee. You might be amazed at how relaxing one single hot drink can be when you know you get the whole cup without interruption.

2.  Work on an ongoing project. For me it was working on my novel; for you it might be scrapbooking or painting a picture.  Set a timer for ten or fifteen minutes and request that time to yourself while you do something not related to cleaning up after a newborn.

3.  Read a chapter in a book. Unless you’re reading a book with really long chapters you can probably steal away to read through one while someone else takes care of your baby.

4.  Listen to a song. You can’t always get someone to agree to take the baby so you can get away for even ten minutes, so have a favorite song ready at all times on your music player and consider it your “rejuvenating song.”

5.  Just sit. Set a timer for however long you can get and then just sit.  Reflect on how amazing your baby is and give your mind a couple of moments to reset.

If your spouse is just as overwhelmed as you are – or even more so – then you’ll probably meet with much less resistance for asking for ten uninterrupted minutes to have a cup of tea than you will asking for an hour to go to the gym.

Even the most fantastic parents need a break once in a while, even if it’s only for a few minutes at a time.

When our babies’ grandparents were raising us, they had Dr. Spock and their own intuition… and not much else besides the guidance of their own parents. Everything has changed since our parents’ days… a lot for the better, such as the “Back to Sleep” campaign to decrease the risk of SIDS and better safety standards for most baby products, including car seats.

But the different “schools” of parenting and widely varying philosophies tailored to help parents raise happy, successful, well-adjusted children can be overwhelming for any but the most self-assured parents.

In the past few months, I’ve explored many of them, most with the goal of getting my almost three-month old daughter to fall asleep by herself, without props, and also get her to sleep through the night consistently.

On paper, Gary Ezzo’s Babywise system seems very practical and effective. In a nutshell, you try to get your child on an “every four hour” feeding schedule early and try to keep a pattern to every day—Eat, Play, Sleep. The system advocates letting your child “cry it out” in 10 minute increments in order to facilitate the child falling asleep by herself without any props, such as a binky, nursing-to-sleep, or rocking.

I tried this for exactly three days. Not so much the crying it out part—I just don’t believe in that—but the Eat, Play, Sleep. My daughter naps longer and better if she nurses just before sleep. Our schedule quickly became Eat, Play, Eat, Sleep. And considering she is small for her age and still needs to eat every hour-and-a-half or so, this works for us.

As my daughter approaches three months, I decided it was time to try to get her to sleep more than four hours in a row at night. Right now, she sleeps 3 to 5 hours, wakes to nurse, and then is up every two hours as morning approaches. I’d love to convert this into two blocks of five hours, or even six hours straight.

Elizabeth Pantley’s No-Cry Sleep Solution sounded like a better plan than Babywise – something I could live with and, best of all, no crying! Like Babywise, this plan advises you to put the baby to bed when she’s almost, but not quite, asleep. If she cries, pick her up, rock her, nurse her—follow your normal ritual—and then try again.

This plan is working for us early in the day, for naps or bedtime, but at four in the morning, it’s still easier to nurse her to sleep. That’s when it hit me: Getting the baby to sleep through the night, if she doesn’t start sleeping through on her own, will require self-discipline and patience on my part. Just like the rest of parenting. And that’s something I won’t pick up from any book or parenting expert.

]]> http://blogs.babiesonline.com/baby/first-attempts-to-get-baby-to-sleep-through-the-night/feed/ 2 http://blogs.babiesonline.com/celebrities/did-your-spouse-make-you-want-to-have-kids/ http://blogs.babiesonline.com/celebrities/did-your-spouse-make-you-want-to-have-kids/#comments Tue, 25 Nov 2008 16:32:52 +0000 Jessdel27 http://blogs.babiesonline.com/?p=7099

I read recently that actress Angelina Jolie had made up her mind to never get pregnant. That is, until she met Brad Pitt. “I think one of the life-changing things that he did, one of many, is that I was absolutely never going to get pregnant,” she is quoted as saying. I wonder how many women can relate to this. I know I can.

People seem to find it strange when a woman says she doesn‘t plan to marry or have kids. But the truth is, women make this choice for a number of reasons. For me, I guess you could say I just didn‘t have that maternal instinct, and was so happy being an aunt, I thought that was enough.

When my husband and I were dating though, I changed my mind about all that pretty quickly. I can‘t really call it an epiphany or anything like that, but it dawned on me that I wanted to have children with him. I suspect there are women and men out there who for one reason or another, have determined that parenting just wasn‘t for them. Then suddenly the right person comes along and all that goes out the window.

Everyone is different of course, but for those who didn‘t always feel like they wanted children, can that one person really ignite that desire to raise and nurture a child? Is it fair to be critical of women or men who decide they don‘t want to have children?

Yes, in some cases there may be what seems like selfish reasons for not wanting to be a parent, but often it is a decision that individuals make after careful thought. One thing is certain, even someone who wasn‘t prepared to be a parent often finds that the natural instinct kicks in, sometimes even before the baby is born.

In a quote taken from a website, Philadelphia psychiatrist Elyse Rubenstein defines the maternal instinct as “an inborn tendency to want to protect and nurture one’s offspring.” She went on to say in the article that not wanting a baby previously will not make you a bad parent.

I have to agree. Just as we are all capable of good and bad, most human beings, regardless of what statistics say, are capable of feeling that bond after becoming a parent.

Most people refrain from certain behaviors once they have children, such as swearing, talking about people behind their backs, or otherwise distasteful or impolite behavior. But sometimes it’s not just the words that you say in front of your kids that they might pick up on it’s what you do.

As our daughter has reached toddler age, she has also begun to notice all of the little behaviors and mannerisms my husband and I have both good and bad. Not only does she mimic us when we do certain good things, such as putting our hands to our mouth when we cough and repeating us saying “Bless you,” to someone when they sneeze, but she also will let out an exaggerated sigh when we ask her to do something that she does not want to do. The other day, I had to kill a spider on the wall. Spiders make me jumpy as it is, and having to squish one is definitely not one of my favorite things to do. So I took a deep breath, grabbed a paper towel, and smashed him, squealing in distaste as his life was put to an end. My daughter, of course, witnessed the whole thing, and immediately jumped around the room, saying, “Eeew! Eeew!” Cute, but a good reminder of just how much she sees.

Seeing yourself mirrored in the innocent behaviors of a toddler can be unnerving, to say the least. Suddenly your own bad behavior or traits that you don’t like about yourself are not only being scrutinized by little eyes, but are being acted out as well.

The bright side to this is that she is a little sponge, absorbing every last drop of learning that she can, through our actions and our words. I just wish sometimes that she could be a little more selective about what she chooses to remember and not have to remember Mommy shrieking as she kills a spider.

I wonder if I am the only parent out there who is frustrated when they are dealing with customer service and a noisy child. I think not.

I love convenience. As a mom of 5, I like to pay my bills online or over the phone if time is crunched. Time is crunched a lot for us and so I end up listening to voice prompts and pressing buttons to do what I need to do to keep the household running.

I?ve noticed ?new? voice prompts where you can either say your answer or you can press a button. I?d rather just press the button to answer the questions, even though it can be difficult at times to juggle my toddler and press buttons because it?s less of a hassle. Let me explain. This morning, while trying to pay a bill over the phone, my toddler screamed at just the right moment. Apparently, that scream at that moment meant in computer language that I didn?t want to pay the bill and had changed my mind. I had no options to ?go back? and the call was disconnected.

I tried again. This time, my son came up and dropped his sippy cup at my feet at just the ?right? moment. Again, the computer took the thunk to mean that I?d changed my mind about paying my bill and I was disconnected again.

I tried for the third time, but not before I told ALL 5 children to go in another room and to please be as quiet as possible for a few minutes. At just the ?right? moment, my second child, who is autistic, came into the laundry room and announced it was snowing. You guessed it. My call was disconnected again. In computer language??Mom it?s snowing!? also means no.

On my way to pick up bread, milk, and other essentials, I stopped at the post office to get stamps. Apparently, the software programs for some companies are just not parent friendly I have concluded. I realized that I could spend a whole lot of time using the ?convenient? yet frustrating new method to pay my bills, or I could go back to the old method which would probably save me time in the long run. Here?s to being ?old fashioned?!

Alltop, a great parenting news aggregator has seen fit to include Babies Online Blog to it’s list of worthy parenting news. I know I’ll certainly add this to my favorites, as the site includes a variety of links to the most pressing concern a parent could have. There are links to how to raise a happy child, the latest news concerning parenting, attachment parenting, articles for dads, etc.

Thanks, Alltop, we’ll be visiting!

One of our biggest challenges lately has been taking our daughter out to restaurants. At almost two years old, she is able to entertain herself for longer periods of time, but also gets bored and antsy when seated for too long. While this presents a challenge at home ? sometimes after her breakfast or lunch, when she is still strapped into her high chair, is the only time Mom or Dad get a chance to go to the bathroom or let the dog out ? it can be especially difficult on the few occasions when we eat out.

Previously, we?ve just avoided eating out as much as we could, for our sake, for our daughter?s sake, and for the sake of anyone dining with us or anywhere near us. We feel like no one wants to hear someone else?s kid fussing and whining when they?re out trying to enjoy a meal ? unless it?s a very casual dining establishment. But sometimes eating out is unavoidable. Here are some of the ways we?ve been able to keep our daughter occupied at restaurants ? before, during and after the meal.

• Plan ahead. Sometimes this isn?t possible, but if you can keep restaurant kit in the car, it can help. I have a bag that includes crayons and paper, some small toys she doesn?t usually play with, and, of course, some snacks such as Cheerios and a bottle of water or juice.
• Time it right. Try to avoid going out during times of day when your child is cranky, fussy or tired. We also try to choose “off” times at restaurants, such as before noon or the evening dinner rush.
• Select seats wisely. Try to get seated near other children; other parents will understand if your child starts whining more than that couple who look to be out on a romantic date.
• Order quickly. Especially if your child is near meal time, order for him or her as soon as you sit down, or as soon as possible afterwards, and ask for that food to come out as soon as it?s ready. Nothing keeps a hungry child busy like food!
• If necessary, make a quick exit. There have been a few times where our daughter was so over-tired or just plain done that we needed to make a quick exit from a restaurant before she made a scene. We simply apologized, asked for take-out containers and the check, and left.

Several weeks ago, I had written about a gentleman who named his daughter after the Republican presidential and vice presidential candidates. A new trend has developed; this one is also associated with the American presidential elections.

Mothers in Kisumu, Kenya, have celebrated the election of Barack Obama as president of the United States by naming their newborns after he and his wife Michelle. Kisumu is a village in Africa close to where Barack’s father was born.

The day after the elections, there were 15 children born at the local hospital. Five of the male children were named Barack and three of the female children were named Michelle. Many of the mothers interviewed said that they hoped to honor the couple, but they also hoped that their children would be inspired to succeed in life because of their names.

I am deeply touched that women in another country have chosen to name their children after our president elect and his wife. While I think that their intentions are admirable, I guess I wonder – will these children face ridicule because they are named after an American couple? I have never been to Kenya, and so I don’t know if these names will “stand out” from the names that other children have been given. Then again, if the naming trend continues, their names won’t “stand out” anyway.

I wonder what will happen to the babies Barack and Michelle as they grow. Will they spend their lives explaining their names to people? What happens if they meet people who do not support the political ideals of their namesakes? I think of the man I mentioned at the beginning of this blog post who named his daughter Sarah McCain. What happens to her now that the candidates that she was named after lost their bid for the White House?

Multi-Tasking Mommy is back on the scene!

I’ve been busy this past month making the adjustment of being a Mommy to a 3 1/2 year old girl to including a newborn boy to the mix. My priorities have definitely shifted and I’m having to manage my time even more than I was before.

My son was born at 8:58am on October 1st via c-section. This was a repeat c-section and I look forward to sharing my story with you in a future post.

This past month, I’ve been busy recovering, breastfeeding, trying to sleep and entertaining a preschooler all the while trying maintain my sanity. It’s definitely a challenge, but one that I’m thoroughly enjoying. I look forward to sharing my stories and experiences as a Mommy of two.

In one short month, I have:

Becoming a Mommy to two children has been a huge transition in some ways and in other ways, I feel like it hardly changed my life at all. I am loving having two children to love and care for and although we are busier now than we were before, life is fun and always full of surprises.

Before my son was born, I didn’t understand how it was possible to find a place in my heart for even more love. As soon as he was born, I just got it. My heart grew larger the moment I saw him and now I understand just how easy it is to love two children just the same.

You can read more Multi-Tasking Mommy at Circle of Life.

When I was little, my parents would leave a vegetable on the vine ‘for the bugs’. My mother claimed that if the bugs could eat that one vegetable, that they would leave the rest of the crop for us! I’m not sure if it ever really did work, but I thought of this just the other day as I was child proofing our kitchen again.

I say again because I am constantly trying to stay one step ahead of our increasingly mobile toddler. It’s not an easy job.

My great moment of epiphany arrived while I was watching him try to figure out how to open up a kitchen cabinet door. Of course he couldn’t because of the new child-proof locks I’d installed after he’d figured out the old ones. He was frustrated and a temper tantrum quickly followed. As I consoled him, I thought about it all.

Why couldn’t he have his own cabinet? If I emptied out a small cupboard far away from the stove and other appliances it should be ok. I could fill it with safe items like spatulas and old pots and wooden spoons. Note, our doors have no hardware on them, so they open and shut easily. If you have older cabinets, you may want to remove handles or magnets that hold the door shut.

I emptied out a cabinet and put in some of his toys and a few safe kitchen items: wooden spoons, spatulas and old pots. I showed him ‘his’ cabinet and he was thrilled! When I am working in the kitchen now, he’ll open up his cabinet and play. Because he now has his own cabinet, he no longer has the desire to try to get into the other cabinets. Of course, I always am close by to supervise him when he is playing!

I’m not sure how long this truce will last. But for now, he’s happy and safe, and that makes me happy.