Almost three years ago, Maria del Carmen Bousada gave birth to twins, setting the record as the oldest mother ever at age 66. This record was broken by Rajo Devi Lohan of India last year who gave birth for the first time at the ancient age of 70. However, Bousada is still the oldest mom to ever give birth to multiples until she passed away earlier this week at the age of 69, leaving her 31-month old twin boys orphans.

In Vitro Fertilization Aided the Late in Life Conception

Bousada has never been married and got pregnant through in vitro fertilization using an unknown donor’s sperms. She reportedly spent all her life savings and even sold her house in order to pay for the fertility treatments. The IVF procedure was performed in Los Angeles where she supposedly lied about her age. Many countries, including the US, have set a maximum age limit for women who want to go through IVF but some don’t.

Bousada’s case will surely spark up the debate of the ethics of having children so late in life. While proponents of the issue argue for freedom of choice that science has enabled us, its opponents question whether it is fair to have children and put them at risk of being orphaned at an early age. One can say that Bousada’s story has proven the opponents right. Earlier this year, a 65-year old British woman created a furor when she decided to have a child and had fertility treatments in an eastern European country.

What Happens to the Children?

Sources told CNN that the children are being well taken care of by a nephew of Bousada. One source (a neighbour) told CNN that “God didn’t let her enjoy her children very much. He should have given her more time.” But what about the kids? They, too, didn’t have much time with their mom. It is sad, but they will barely remember her when they grow up to be adults.

Last week two showbiz icons from my youth passed away. For me, Farrah Fawcett was always the sexiest of the Charlie’s Angels from my childhood TV years and Michael Jackson was always the youngest and cutest of the Jackson Five’s and I will always remember him – not for “Thriller” or “Billy Jean” – but for childhood favorites like “Happy” and “Ben”. (Huh, am I giving away my age?)

But these two people are not only celebrities – they are also parents. So what happens to the children when celebrities pass away? The ones who have the normal family set up such as the children of Natasha Richardson seem to fare rather well despite tragically losing their mom. However, I can imagine that things can become complicated in the case of the so-called “patchwork” families. Do they get tangled in custody battles and fights over wills? Do they end up rich like Dannielynn, Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter or end up with nothing like Heath Ledger’s daughter Matilda Rose?

Farrah Fawcett has a 24-year old son with her long time partner Ryan O’Neal. At least he is already an adult and can probably manage on his own despite his drug problems.

Michael Jackson’s family set up is a bit more complicated. He leaves behind three children from two relationships for whom he had full custody. From his second marriage, he had a son Prince Michael Joseph Jr. (12), and a daughter Paris Michael Katherine (11). He had another son Prince Michael Jackson II (7) in 2002 but the identity of the mother was never revealed, although there are speculations that he was born through a surrogate mother implanted with an embryo fertilized with Jackson Sr.’s sperm. With Michael Jackson’s untimely death, I wonder whether he has provided properly for his children, considering the financial problems he had been having lately.

I can imagine that celebrities, especially superstars, can sometimes feel invincible. Even at middle age and beyond, death seems very remote. Does it occur to them that they can’t live forever and that their kids might become orphans? I feel sad for them, but I feel even more for their children especially if they are as young as Michael Jackson’s children. I hope that they won’t be caught in nasty court battles about custody, paternity/maternity and money. I hope that they will be protected from the relentless media coverage.

The deaths of Fawcett and Jackson made me ask myself questions about  life and death, about my children and my family.

How about us who are “mere mortals”? Are we prepared for all eventualities? Do we know what would happen to our children in case something happens to us?

Just days after the last flash of fireworks and opulent display of the Beijing Olympics, a more grim scene awaited a spectator in China’s now famous Olympic Bird’s Nest Stadium. On Tuesday, a woman at the paralympics (an event for athletes with physical, mental, and censorial disabilities) discovered a newborn baby girl in a toilet. She is perfectly healthy.

Due to the high profile of the child’s case, she is being cared for at a NICU in Beijing, and may have a decent future. It still breaks my heart but it’s not really her story that does it.

Though the government has not confirmed the statistics, many agencies estimate that over a million babies are abandoned in China every year. Put another way, about 114 perfectly healthy newborns are left to die every hour. Almost all of them are girls. Some of them -like the baby in the stadium – are found before they die, but they are hardly rescued.

The lucky ones end up in a private orphanage where foreigners vie to bring them home. Less fortunate ones are kept in hospitals for the mentally ill, or in state-run orphanages. It’s impossible to say what the care is like in average institutions, but journalists who have visited selected orphanages report children being systematically neglected, the sick being left to starve to death. Not because the workers don’t care, but because they can’t take care of all of them. There are also many tiny, covert rescue homes that are unsanctioned.

The Communist government enforces a one-child per family rule (with a few exceptions). There are, of course, many sides to every story, but the simple explanation here is that if a woman managed to avoid a forced abortion of an unauthorized baby, she will sometimes resort to abandoning the child. And since the culture prefers the birth of boys, first-born girls are sometimes exposed, as well. Infertile Chinese couples can adopt, but it is very difficult for families with a child to get authorization to bring home an orphan. So the majority of these ‘rescued’ babies languish and die in government sponsored institutions. In theory, foreigners can adopt a Chinese baby, but few have the money or patience to do so.

I just don’t understand. A friend of mine recently adopted from China. It took two years and more than $20,000 to bring home one of millions of little girls that the Chinese government doesn’t want to feed, much less educate.

So what can be done? I have no idea. If you are the praying type, say a prayer for the mothers, orphans and government of China. Hug your babies. And for all of our nations failings, remember there are many good things about America; be thankful you live here today.