My son had hie ear tube surgery this morning. It was the third surgery he has been through, and considering he’s not even four yet that’s a pretty big deal. His first surgery was to put ear tubes in and remove his adenoids, the second surgery was to remove the ear tubes and do a skin graft onto his ear drum, and today’s was to put a tube back into one of his ears. I was really reluctant to do it and was afraid that his Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist was being alarmist, but when he had his pre-surgery appointment with his primary physician the doctor took one look in his ear and said, “Oh yeah, surgery is the right decision.”

I had hoped to avoid anything like this while my husband is away on his military tour, but I couldn’t delay it anymore because my son’s hearing was starting to get affected. I went into this whole thing with a laundry list of problems that could go wrong. Remember that I’ve been through this with my son twice before so I knew the physical toll it could take on him, so I was bracing myself for the worst case scenario for everything. Well, maybe not the worst case, but I was prepared to deal with a lot of problems as a result of the surgery.

Sometimes, however, everything goes just right and parents are rewarded with best case scenarios.

I was afraid that finding someone to take my daughter for the day would be a big hassle, but my neighbor down the street who is moving in a week graciously offered to put her packing on hold for the day and take my daughter. She didn’t just watch her either; she took her to the park and out to lunch and made it a very special day for her.

My son remembered his last surgery and was not happy about it, so I waited until yesterday to mention that he would have surgery today. I was ready for him to freak out, but instead he started talking about the play room at the hospital and how he couldn’t wait to play with all the toys.

My son had to abstain from food or water starting at midnight last night. Since he’s the kind of kid who wakes up looking for his cup of orange juice, I was afraid he would be begging for something to drink. Instead, he didn’t mention anything and the surgery clinic actually called to ask if he could come in earlier, so that was less time he spent hungry and thirsty.

When it came time for him to go into surgery, I was afraid he would put up a struggle and cry for me like last time, but this time he was wheeled away without a protest.

The last time he returned from surgery he was distraught and inconsolable. He cried and whimpered and pushed against me for a good half hour or so, but today he came back into the room smiling, sitting up, and showing me the stuffed doll the surgery team had given him in the recovery room.

The last two surgeries he had, he was groggy and in pain for a few hours after the operation was complete. Today, he was actually up and dancing around in his hospital room. His appetite was raging so we went to lunch together and he was in good spirits.

As a parent, I usually brace myself for everything to go wrong and for things to be as difficult as possible. Once in a while I’m blessed with a day when everything actually goes smoothly. By the way, my son is napping comfortably on the couch while I type this, and he usually doesn’t nap anymore. What more could a mom ask for?

My son was just scheduled for a third surgery. Considering the little guy hasn’t even reached his fourth birthday yet, this seems like a lot to me. I hate, hate, hate the fact that he has to go and get another procedure done, but I know that in the long run it’s for the best.

It’s not like he’s having something very complicated done, and it isn’t like this is an emergency procedure to save his life, but it’s a surgery nonetheless and that always makes me nervous.

His first surgery – which was before he was a year old, was to put tubes in his ears, remove his adenoids, and to do some exploratory something or other down his esophagus.

His second surgery – which was right after his third birthday – was to remove the tubes from his ears and do a skin graft on his eardrum.

This third surgery – which he’ll have next month – is simply to put a tube back in one ear. Apparently his right ear just isn’t doing very well without the assistance of a tube and the doctor has concerns that the resulting hearing problems will inhibit his learning capabilities once he gets into a classroom setting.

I’ve had two surgeries in my entire life, and I’m 35. This poor kid is on his third surgery, giving him a ratio of one surgery a year.

I thought about saying no to the surgery. Ultimately, the decision is mine after all, and I would love to think that maybe his ear would just suddenly get better on its own and he wouldn’t need the surgery after all. On the other hand, I want him to have all the advantages of normal hearing and would rather he didn’t have to go from one ear infection to another.

Of course, all the usual thoughts go through my head. Is he going into surgery for no reason? Does the doctor just want to make money from insurance companies by doing one procedure after another? It’s incredibly frustrating to not know all the stuff doctors learn in medical school, so we’re essentially at their mercy when it comes to getting an opinion. It all boils down to trusting someone who knows more than I do.

It still makes me nervous, though, and I hate putting my son through it. In the long run I hope it’s the right decision.

I was amazed when I read this article outlining steps to make C-sections a little less clinical, and less impersonal especially for Moms. There’s never been anything like it before, and I for one agree that it is revolutionary. The idea was born in Queen Charlotte’s Hospital in London, the brainchild of Professor Nicholas Frisk. In the United Kingdom as well here in the United States, the rate of C-sections have risen due to many factors. A lot of C-sections are planned, a lot are avoidable, and many are emergencies. Regardless the reason or circumstances, Professor Frisk argues that C-sections could do with a lot of change:

“It struck me that all the effort was going into changing normal childbirth but that Cesarean section was still steeped in old surgical rituals,” says Fisk. “In some cases I was horrified; the baby would be dragged out like a tumor and passed to several medical staff before the mother. It was ripe for reform.”

The steps involve increasing parental involvement, revisiting physiological factors, and immediate skin-to-skin contact for the baby and Mom.

I know that in my case, and as per usual standard operating procedure, a drape blocks a Mom’s vision from the surgery that is happening on her abdomen. This is supposed to protect us from all the gore of the operation. Queen Charlotte’s Hospital does away with this drape at the point when baby’s head is emerging. They reason that the Mom’s focus would be too much on the baby and its safe arrival to be much bothered by anything else.

The article describes a “half-delivered” method (which I can’t quite picture still). The baby is allowed to wriggle out and expel the fluids from its lungs by themselves, simulating a vaginal delivery. This emphasizes a slow delivery, and baby starts breathing on its own before cutting off the placenta. Baby is immediately handed to Mom. This is made possible by monitor equipment being plugged to the back instead of the front. I remember when my daughter was born, Dad, who wore a surgical scrub over his outfit, was the first to hold her. She was held up to me, but I didn’t get to hold her until a good twenty minutes later. I would have appreciated holding her much sooner. In fact, all the other changes sound sensible.

This procedure is not applicable for preemie babies with immature lungs, those in the breech position, or in other dangerous situations.

The only concerns that come to mind would be the removal of the drape. I don’t know if I’d be too keen on wanting to see my abdomen cut open, and I hope they emphasize the Mom’s ability to choose. Overall, I hope that more moms and doctors become aware of this method and that it comes to the stateside soon, if it hasn’t already. Studies on long-term effects to gauge any measurable differences between the old-fashioned C-section and this new method are still on its initial stages. Having had a C-section baby though, I know its very possible for me to have another one for the second, though I wish for a Vaginal Birth After C-section (VBAC). It makes me feel a little better that there’s an alternative with some improvements.

My son has had surgery twice: Once when he was a baby and then again as a toddler. I’ve been through it two times with him alone because both times my husband stayed home with our daughter, so I know all about how tricky it can be to stay calm for your child’s sake while on the inside you’re screaming like a banshee.

I’ve read every bit of literature the doctors and hospitals have given me and have combined that with my own experience to offer this advice when it comes to preparing your Little One for surgery.

Keep in mind that my son has never had major surgery resulting in a bunch of severe pain, so I’m sure that’s a lot different. This advice is for parents taking kids in for ear tubes, adenoid removal, tonsil removal, and all that jazz.

For a baby: The process will be a bit of a blur for your baby, so the important thing is to stay by your baby’s side as much as possible and to stay calm. I brought my son’s favorite stuffed animal along and they let him take it into the operating room. Right before the nurses took him off to surgery I calmly told him that he was going to go with the nurses and go take a nap, and that I would be waiting right here for him when he was all done. I was true to my word: I was eagerly awaiting his return when they brought him back into the room.

Also, before you get yourself worked up picturing your child being dragged away from you kicking and screaming, know that they usually give the kiddos some medication to make them a little sleepy and a little more agreeable before the surgery. If your baby is going to protest it’s going to be a groggy protest at best.

If you are still nursing your baby then consider yourself lucky. My son came out of surgery and immediately latched on to my breast and was as happy as could be.

For a toddler: I waited until the night before the surgery to tell me son that he was going in to see the doctor in the morning. This worked for my son because if I tell him something is going to happen too far ahead of time he’ll worry about it until it happens, but your toddler may be different. As I tucked him in I told him that in the morning we were going to go have an adventure – just him and Mommy – and we would leave the house before the sun came up to go see the doctor. The next morning as we were driving to the hospital I told him that there would be interesting things to see at the hospital and also that he would take a special nap while the doctor helped his ear.

I made sure to stress that I would be there the whole time, and that the doctor only wanted to work on his ear and wouldn’t touch anything else. We brought his favorite toy again, and the whole time we were waiting for his turn to have surgery I pointed out all the interesting things we saw and how interesting this whole experience was.

Oh…and I made sure he knew how brave I thought he was.

When he returned to the room after the surgery I switched on his favorite television show and cuddled with him. He was pretty upset and really out of it, but eventually he fell asleep and woke up in a pretty good mood.

Which reminds me: Be sure to have the remote to the TV in hand’s reach otherwise you’ll wind up like me and have to watch Playhouse Disney while your child sleeps on you soundly.

The only thing worse than having surgery is having to deal with your child having surgery. I pray that we never have to go through it ever again, but I also hope that these tips can help if your child is scheduled to have surgery.