Do you nurse in public? When I first began breastfeeding my son, I was extremely shy about nursing in front of anyone. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to see any more skin than I might want to show someone, whether I was in public or even at home with guests. But after spending the Christmas holidays holed up in the bedroom nursing my newborn rather than enjoying the company of our visiting family members, I realized enough was enough. After all, no one was making me breastfeed my son in private – except me.

A quick survey would have found that our guests would not have been uncomfortable with me nursing in front of them. I was the one who was embarrassed.

Nursing in public can be challenging, especially the first time. But over the past few months I have come up with several tips and tricks for nursing in public.

• Find a secluded spot. If you can, try to find a low traffic site where you can nurse comfortably. This could be a corner booth in a restaurant, a dressing room at the department store, or a park bench.
• Make sure you’re comfortable. There’s nothing worse than hunching over to get baby to latch – and then getting stuck in that position for a half hour or longer. Bring a pillow if you need to, or use a folded up blanket to position yourself and your baby comfortably.
• Make sure others are comfortable. If I’m with a group, I ask if anyone would be uncomfortable with my nursing my son. In most cases, everyone is fine with it, but I think sometimes it doesn’t hurt to ask.
• Don’t over-expose. In the winter, a pashmina scarf around my neck and shoulders helps to keep people from seeing anything I don’t want them to see. In warmer months, I bring with me a receiving blanket that I can drape over my shoulder to shield baby from onlookers. Many online stores also sell special tops or covers to keep you covered during a feeding.
• Practice at home. Nurse your baby in front of a mirror or ask your husband or a friend if they can see more than you would want someone to see of you in public.
• Check the laws. Many states have laws regarding breastfeeding. Check out this link for your local laws. Some states allow breastfeeding in any public place. Some states will even let you get our of jury duty if you are a nursing mom!

Breastfeeding in public can be nerve racking, but with a few preparations you can do so comfortably.

Perhaps one of the most nerve racking feats for a new mom is the first time you nurse in public. I tried to avoid doing it, and got away with quick exits to my car, or nursing rooms that some wonderful buildings provide for almost three months, but eventually there was a time where my son was hungry, no, make that HUNGRYFEEDMENOW, with nowhere to go, so deep breath, deploy blanket, shirt up, nurse. I survived.

What I was worrying about most, and I know that it’s something breastfeeding women should not have to care about, is what did other people think? Was someone going to say something, or ask me to stop, or to leave?

Breastfeeding in public is legal everywhere in the USA.  If you and your baby are legally allowed to be somewhere, you have the right to nurse your baby there. That means stores, restaurants, public places, at work, at a park, the market, the library, the mall. This law supersedes laws about indecent exposure, meaning that it’s ok to show breast or nipple when breastfeeding a baby.

This month, a breastfeeding mother was asked to cover herself up at a Denny’s restaurant in North Carolina after other customers complained. The manager told a local newspaper that “In this particular case, this guest was exposed in a manner that was causing discomfort toward other guests to the point of them complaining to management and leaving the restaurant.”

Generally, us nursing moms don’t want or mean to flash anyone. Nursing babies have zero concept of indecent exposure and just want to get fed, or decide to be awkward about getting fed, which is responsible for the majority of nip slips. And then there’s all the babies who don’t want to eat with a blanket over their heads.

The mother is seeking an apology from Denny’s. So far, none has been forthcoming, so nursing mothers are planning a nationwide nurse-in at Denny’s restaurants on Sunday 22nd February at 1 p.m. If you want to join in, just show up at your local Denny’s, and nurse. There’s a Yahoo group to organize meetings with other mothers, or invite your mom friends to go with you.

This isn’t the first nursing incident to garner national attention. In 2007, a woman was asked to cover her baby with a blanket after another customer complained in an Applebee’s restaurant. Almost 2,000 nursing moms joined in a national nurse-in after Applebees refused to apologize, instead offering to carry blankets in their restaurants so nursing moms could cover up.

And the most unintentional ironic breastfeeding dispute? In 2006, A women who sat down in Victoria’s Secret to nurse her baby was told to move to a restroom. Why? “because the sight of her breasts might offend a customer”.

I tried to nurse as discretely as possible, I never really felt comfortable doing it. I was relived that I was never hassled over it. I have friends who whip a boob out and start nursing their babies without a care as to who might be looking, and I admire their attitude.

After all, breasts are to feed babies, and really it’s ridiculous to take offense to it. The common theme in all these incidents isn’t bad attitudes at the businesses where they took place, rather complaints from other customers which caused managers to take a misguided action. It’s hard for a manager or employer who may not know the rules, and I expect the managers thought that asking the mother to cover up her baby was a reasonable request.

So I don’t know how much good a nurse-in at Denny’s will do.  Unless it changes a few attitudes amongst the general public, and helps stop people complaining about nursing mothers.

Have you seen these – or do you use one yourself?

Many nursing moms I know have bought one of those apron-like covers to wear over their baby so they can nurse in public and cover everything up. Nursing in public can be very nerve-racking especially at first, and these cover-ups give mom more security and ease to latch on baby. They are also very useful with a distractable baby. You know – nurse – pop off – nurse – pop off – I’m hungry, but there’s too much to look at!

There’s a couple of brands, some are tastefully named like Babe au Lait, and Mommy Covers. Or you could buy a Hooter Hider, if you must. All the brands make nursing covers in lots of patterns, from bold graphics, pretty flowers, to rocker mom styles.

Crafty moms could make their own very easily – all a nursing cover is made from, is a rectangle of fabric, and a strap to go around your neck to keep it in place.

I thought about buying one, but I never did. I either made do with a regular baby blanket – which is true, did not stay in place as well with a fidgety baby. Or when I was more practiced, layered two shirts, pulled the inner one down, the outer one up, and latched him on, still keeping everything covered.

I think that wearing a nursing cover can say I’M NURSING much more than other ways of covering up. If the goal is discretion, a baby wrapped in a blanket, or nursing in a sling (Moby wraps are great for this) can be much more discrete than wrapping a great big brightly-colored poncho around yourself.

The moms I know who used them loved them, and I can absolutely see the appeal. So do you use a nursing cover-up, or will you be buying one?