When I was pregnant the first time I noticed something rather pleasant the bigger I got: the men around me got more chivalrous. Not just my husband – although he did step up the “taking care of my Little Lady” routine a little – but my male coworkers and even men who I didn’t know started treating me much differently. It was as if every man I encountered was just waiting for a chance to help me. It was a weird feeling, probably because at 5′8″ I’ve never really been very good at faking the whole helpless female thing, but I actually liked it a lot when it started to happen.

The first instance I noticed was when I walked into a store. A man I didn’t know held the door for me, which isn’t that peculiar, but he sprinted to get the door for me and actually made a hand gesture for other people to wait while I waddled through.

A month later I was at work and the copier had a paper jam. Usually individual employees were responsible to clear the jam and get everything back into working order, but the second I got on my knees to try to pull the paper out a swarm of male employees showed up. “Here, let me help you up!” “I’ll take care of this.” “Why don’t you go take a break while we fix this?” It was as if I had slipped through a vortex into an alternate reality where the men took care of everything because they cared, and not because they wanted to be condescending or belittle women.

It’s an enchanted place indeed.

When my second pregnancy came along I got so huge that everyone – male and female – helped me a lot. I miss a few things about being pregnant, like feeling little kicks and knowing that my body was growing a human being, but I also miss the chivalry that I encountered as a pregnant woman.

I was in a relationship with my son’s father for over ten years, and married for over half of those – basically most of my adult life. My total experience with dating is based on watching Sex and the City, and listening to girlfriends’ escapades and adventures, with just a teeny twinge that I didn’t really get to have all that fun… and a little relief of not dealing with all that hassle too.

So now I’m a single mom, and at the point where I’ve grieved the end of my marriage, and feeling like it might be time to do something for me. I’m not trying to replace my son’s father. He has a father, who wasn’t a good husband, but was a good father. This is for me.

I adore my girlfriends, but it’s also nice to sit on a patio and drink a beer with a man who politely compliments my dress, is passionate about guy things like bikes and football, and doesn’t know or care whether SIGG bottles or Kleen Kanteens are superior in the eco-friendliness and the all important mom-competitiveness stakes.

So now I think I’m ready to at least try out a date. I’m still sore from my marriage breakup, but I’m refocused and now any possible heartache over a man is negligible compared with my love for my son. As long as I have him (which blissfully includes him shouting “I wuv you very much” at me) there’s no guy who can break my heart.

The man who took me out for a drink tonight, a friend-of-a-friend, seems like a nice guy, and we agreed to do it again next week. (Re: men interests… I like my bike too. We had one thing, and a couple of others in common.) I’m taking it slow, and I’m not introducing him to my son any time soon, but we’ll see how things go.

Postnatal depression in moms is at last being recognized, and today more moms feel able to seek help and treatment without being stigmatized.

Society doesn’t treat dads as well. Men often get depressed after the birth of a baby, and studies suggest around 3-4% of fathers suffer from depression. Another study published this week suggests that depressed dads may affect their children too.

Two-year-olds with slow speech development were twice as likely to have a depressed father than those with average speech. Researchers speculate that depressed fathers are less likely to interact with their children, and particularly to read to them. Reading to babies and toddler is known to improve speech skills.

Men are more likely to not get treatment for depression, perhaps feeling it’s not ‘manly’ to ask for help, or imagining they will be perceived as weak if they admit they have a problem. If you feel the father of your baby is suffering from depression, let them know that it’s OK to get help, that depression is a genuine medical condition, and that they are no less of a man or a father to suffer from it. They will be more of a man to seek help, and they can be more of a father when they are receiving treatment and begin the road to recovery.