I bumped into another mom yesterday whom I hadn’t seen for quite a while. Our now 9- year old sons were friends a couple of years ago, when they were in the same class, which meant that she and I were the hosts of several playdates.

One thing that I always remember about her is that she is very much into being a full-time mom, driving her kids around like a chicken without a head, throwing great at-home birthday parties, practically camping out on the baseball field during baseball season…you get the picture.

When our boys were buddies and I was first inside her house, I instantly loved her taste and decorating style. I asked about a couple of unique paintings hanging on the walls. She had a story for each of them and seemed to be a bit of a connoisseur of art. When she gave me the house tour, we went down to the finished basement last, where she explained that this was the place for her children’s artwork (in other words, it wasn’t worthy of the main floor). She had some of her boys’ paintings and drawings framed, hanging on the basement walls.

While it was nice to see her boys’ work hanging on the walls, I thought it was interesting that someone so “kid-centric” had none of her kids’ art on the main floor. I thought about a relative of mine whose kitchen was plastered with kids’ drawings from the time they could scribble with a crayon. That, of course, was to the other extreme.

That same relative referred to her house as being her children’s house as much as it was her and her husband’s house.

Then, there’s a neighbor of mine who has taught her children that their house belongs to the parents; the children simply live there until they are old enough to have homes of their own. This is a very clear way of showing that Mom and Dad make up the rules—they’re in charge.

I think my husband and I fall somewhere between these two “types” of parents. I love to hang up my boys’ artwork in the kitchen, yet I have my own sense of decorating and would never plaster kids’ artwork all over the walls, as my relative did. I look forward to displaying that wonderful “first art” made by our 8 month old, when he’s big enough to color.

Our house belongs to all of us. Mom and Dad make up the rules, but we aren’t too strict. When I cook dinner, sometimes the kids get what they get and sometimes I’ll give them a choice, if it’s a laid back kind of night when I haven’t planned a big meal. They can decorate their rooms pretty much as they like, as long as they’re not destructive in any way. (I get to do whatever I like in baby’s room, since he doesn’t know the difference!).

How do you handle the decision-making in your house? Will you or do you ban children’s artwork from certain rooms or the nicely decorated first floor?

When we decided to build our house in a new neighborhood, I was naturally excited. I was thrilled to bust out of our two-bedroom townhouse and finally have some space. It was fun to pick out bathroom tile, cabinets and countertops. It was great to finally have a backyard for the kids.

But there’s a lot more to living in a neighborhood than I’d realized. I loved the idea of living someplace with built-in friends for our kids, and for me, too. Neighborhoods are random, though. You never know who might be living next door or across the street.

Like most people in neighborhoods, we’ve had our differences with other people who happen to live on our block. Sometimes our kids get along with the other kids and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes our parenting style clashes with those of other parents, and at times I have been insulted and kept my distance from one particular mom down the street.

As our kids get older, they require less interference, but when we first moved in almost seven years ago, there were days when I asked myself why I’d chosen to live in a neighborhood instead of on a secluded acre somewhere. I am, by nature, a private person but didn’t consider this much before moving into our current home.

The mom down the street frequently reprimanded my children when they were younger. I certainly try to teach my kids right from wrong and everyday courtesy and kindness. But there were certainly times when they misbehaved and I’d expect another parent to intervene at such times. This woman, however, took it on herself to apply her quirky rules to my children. The example that I will always remember is when she told my boys not to wear their baseball caps sideways because this, in her view, made them act rough and talk slang. A cap causing a child to change his behavior was way over the top for me. What right did she have telling my kids what and what not to wear?

I’ll likely be dealing with more of these neighborhood “issues” as our baby gets older and starts to interact with other kids on the block. Our older boys still have disagreements with the neighborhood kids but tend to pick and choose who they spend their time with more carefully.

I don’t think I’m the only one who has found that being plopped in a neighborhood with a random sampling of people certainly has its pros and cons. If we ever move again, I think I’d like a bit more seclusion and privacy. I won’t miss the doorbell ringing at inopportune times. Instead, the kids can invite friends over so we’ll know when to expect them.

It was the second time that one of my son’s preschool teacher mentioned that “he is really not the biggest eater in his class.” This time, I asked whether he finishes his vegetables at least. And she said. “Oh yes. When it comes to salads, he always asks for seconds.” Well, I don’t see any problem at all, I told her. He is just eating the way he is used to eating at home – concentrating on the vegetables.

The truth is, my twin boys don’t like meat that much. And their sweets intake tends be limited. However, when it comes to fruits and vegetables, they have free access and almost endless supply at home. I would place a plate full of sliced apples, pears, cucumbers, carrots, and red bell peppers on the kitchen table and it would be gone in an hour or two. Add to that the grapes, the cherry tomatoes, the oranges, the strawberries and the nuts.

A recent study by researchers at the Washington University at St. Louis shows that children acquire the taste for certain types of food rather early – before they turn 5 actually. In addition, the food environment at home plays an important role. In fact, parents actually shape their children’s taste for fruits and vegetables. Take as an example somenody we know whose 2 daughters wouldn’t touch anything with fruit in it. The problem is, their dad doesn’t eat fruit either.

Coming from a multicultural (Eurasian) family environment, my boys take Asian and European food in equal stride. If I’d let them, they’ll eat rice with French cheese or German sausages with no qualms about culinary culture.

One thing they learned rather early though is that sliced apples or bananas are the only snacks they will find in mommy’s backpack. Their mommy doesn’t have any cookies or chocolates in her purse as other mommies do.

It’s not that I run a purely health food operation at home. Every 2 weeks, we have hotcakes or waffles for breakfast. The boys occasionally get peanut butter, jam or nutella (hazelnut chocolate spread) on their toast. We indulge in nice desserts from time to time. We bake Christmas cookies. And it’s inevitable that they get to eat fries when travelling. But these are always topped by fresh fruits as snacks and in-betweens and vegetables for lunch and supper.

Researchers say that children learn eating patterns at home that can lead to either obesity or healthy weight. According to lead researcher Debra Haire-Joshu, “overweight children have already been exposed to salty, sweet foods and learned to like them. To keep a child from becoming overweight, parents need to expose them early to a variety of healthy foods and offer the foods many times.”

I don’t believe in complete abstinence from sweets or fatty food. Keeping these away from kids only make them more attractive. My policy is they can handle these foods in limited amounts However, I agree with the researchers that offering children healthy food as early as possible can provide the environment for healthy eating habits. I don’t really mind if my son doesn’t finish his spaghetti at preschool as long as he gobbles his salad with gusto. In the end, it’s quality, not quantity that counts.

Child proofing is a continuous process, as my husband and I have learned as our son, now just over two explores more and can problem-solve to reach things that he used to just stare at and wonder about. There’s nothing quite like watching your toddler go to the bathroom to get the step-stool used for hand-washing and teeth-brushing so that he can reach the toy that he wants that he saw sitting on the kitchen island.

Baby proofing and toddler proofing can be a daunting task for many new parents and parents-to-be, especially if you have had started your family well after establishing your career and living the greater portion of your adult life child-free. While welcoming a new baby into the family brings tremendous joy, the idea of having to clear your home of (or put away for now) beloved objects and collectibles may be daunting to some. But don’t worry, while you do need to re-evaluate your space paying special attention to dangerous and poisonous items, you don’t need to get rid of your Hummel or Lladro collections.

My years as a museum-curatorial professional gave me an added bit of relief when it came to child proofing because I knew about the magic of Museum Wax. I’d never have expected to use my museum expertise with my parenting short of making museum trips with my son, but it has come in quite handy, and it meant that the things that my husband and I have collected over the years in our travels (both together and before we were married) didn’t necessarily need to be wrapped in bubble and stored away until that far-off date called “someday.”

So what’s the secret? Museum Wax.

Museum wax is an inert, sticky blend of microcrystalline wax that is safe to use on nearly any flat surface. Available in both gels and wax, it is used in museums (and other professions that rely on display cases) to secure art and artifacts in cases, so that if for example, a case of 18th-century Wedgwood is bumped accidentally, the objects in the case are not destroyed. Museum wax is even rated to withstand earthquakes; is removable, reusable and safe to handle with bare hands.

Of course, getting a container of museum wax, won’t solve all of your child-proofing issues. As you grapple with whether you want your house (or areas of it) to become Romper Room, your own mini museum, or achieve some balance between the two, where your tastes as adults and reflections of your childless adulthood commingle an coexist with parenthood consider that beyond basic safety (and common sense), child proofing can also allow you as a parent to teach your child respect for other people’s things and spaces. One of the important things to do as your child transitions through the stages of crawling, cruising, walking and independent exploration-on-a-mission, is to teach your child what objects are for everyone to use, what objects are for “looking at only” and what objects are okay to touch if Mommy or Daddy is holding them. As your child grows into a toddler, teach your child to ask “May I touch?” and “May I hold…?” before picking something up. Instilling this respect as part of your child proofing actions and vocabulary will also help your child to understand what they can and cannot touch not only in your house but in public and in other people’s houses as well. And here’s the bonus: when you take them for their first museum trip to a museum that’s not a hands-on/child-centered museum…your child will understand why they can’t touch the art.

In the meantime, you now know “the child-proofing secret” and while you’re plugging up the outlets and latching the cabinets, you can stick down the Hummel and Lladro with peace of mind.