It’s perhaps one of the most annoying adolescent phrases of the last few years. A boy gets caught cheating on a test–”It’s all good, Miss,” he’ll say to his teacher when she’s upset. A girl busted for shoplifting tells her friends, “It’s all good,” when they ask about what happened.

But the truth is that it’s NOT all good. In fact, according to the Josephson Institute’s 2008 Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth, our kids are not good at all.

After surveying 30,000 students in private and public high schools across the U.S., researchers learned that our kids are not only more troubled than ever, but their consciences are clear about it.

“Not my kid” think most parents. Well, chances are–yes, it is your kid. And I hate to say it, but kids in the religious schools were in the bottom of the barrel. OK, so most of us have told little lies, things we can’t even remember. We try not to. But when it comes to important things, the kind of lie that you have to think about, most adults wouldn’t do it. But our kids would. In fact 83% of them (and that’s just the ones who will admit it) say that they have lied to their parents about something SIGNIFICANT! They even get a little cheeky about their dishonesty. 26% of them said they lied on at least one of the survey questions! Of course, the gender breakdown shows that boys are worse liars than girls, either that or they are more honest on surveys.

OK, so maybe you don’t think a lie now and then makes them a moral failure. Does cheating? 64% of American teens cheated at least once this year. But if you’re in the midwest, take heart–”only” 59% of your kids cheat. As a former high school teacher, I know that a huge number of kids don’t even consider some of their actions to be cheating. They’ll protest that a friend “helped” them with their homework, meaning they copied word-for-word the last five questions they didn’t finish. Sadly, the highest rate was among kids in private religious schools.

Here again, you may say, “Well, I cheated on a couple of tests, but I turned out fine.” But were you a thief? Now, let me be fair and say most kids are not admitting to stealing. But way too many of them are quite willing to admit their klepto tendencies. Overall, about 1 in 3 of them take things from relatives, friends–and stores.

But it’s all good. When asked how they feel about their own character, they feel pretty good about themselves. Especially when compared to the wretches they call friends. 77% said they are better than MOST of the people they know. But we’ve been telling them for years that they need to follow their own hearts and moral compasses, and not compare themselves to anyone else. That must be why 93% said they are satisfied with their personal ethics and character.

Just think, these are the leaders of tomorrow. I am not entirely surprised about the cheating thing, having been in the public schools for twelve years. But I was so disheartened by the results. I know it’s just one survey, but it was a huge sample. And this Institute has repeated this research, and the results are getting worse every time. I look at my precious baby girl and wonder what am I going to do to steer her away from what almost EVERYONE around her is doing?

The recent announcement of Jamie Lynn Spears’ 3 month pregnancy has sparked a variety of debates over school programs that teach sex education. Parents from all over the country are pointing fingers at the abstinence-based sex education programs that are being taught in todays, schools, claiming that these basic abstinence centered and statistical evidence programs aren’t working. Since many schools have undergone massive country-wide budget cuts, most of these health classes have been trimmed down to biological information or piggy-backed into general health and nutrition classes and do not include information about contraceptive options and proper usage.

The head media spokesperson for Planned Parenthood has stated that these programs are certainly not working and teen pregnancy is on the rise. Teen pregnancies between the age of 15-17 have seen an increase this year of a whopping three percent. This is the highest spike in teen pregnancies since 1991, and has a lot of parents nationwide concerned and taking a closer look at the information their children are receiving both within school systems and at home. Planned Parenthood stresses the importance of talking to your children early and suggests that while abstinence is definitely the most effective options, parents should make sure that this is not the only option they are presented with.

While there has been a spike in pregnancies in the ages 15-17, the age group that has been most affected has been centered around ages 18-19, almost tripling the numbers from the subsequent group. While parents have been quick to point fingers at school systems, I think the finger should more appropriately be focused on the media and their portrayal of young women in television, music, fashion and film.

Most notably is Jamie Lynn Spears, notorious bad-girl older sister Brittany. The flash-bang pop tart has been the center of gossip news in the last few years consistently due to her wild antics and upsetting parenting patterns displayed by Spears in a number of altercations. In December, Spears was removed as the primary guardian of her children to her refusal to take a drug test and for multiple public displays of negligent parenting. As the patterns of pop idols and role models for young women are slowly changing to more respectable figures, we as parents have to make sure that we are monitoring what our children are watching on television, and pay close attention to those figures we find our kids admiring.

While the media has started to turn focus to more positive topics and role models, gossip news has not lost it’s daytime television hold on it’s audiences. Jamie Lynn Spears’ recent confession of pregnancy was even highlighted in the midst of world news on CNN prime time. I was appalled. Does this kind of media have a place in our worldwide news? While we cannot shelter or prevent our kids from seeing and being exposed to this trashy type of exploitative news, it is our responsibility to make sure that our children understand how we feel about these figures and offer support and discussion surrounding any topic they have questions about.

While it may not be necessary to have he traditional sit down ‘birds and bees’ conversation it is essential to the health and safety of your children to talk to them about sex and their options if the child does engage in sexual practices. While you should always promote abstinence, I think it is equally important to stress maturity, responsibility, and awareness surrounding the topic. Don’t let your kids get themselves into a situation they can’t handle, prepare them before it’s too late! Maybe things would be different in the Spears family if there had been more communication and more engagement in the lives of their children. While our kids may not always make the decisions that we would ideally like them to, we can help them to make better decisions by educating and talking to them about the facts and issues surrounding this topic and all topics with a mature and open attitude.