This weekend I met an inspiring mother of  an adult and it got me thinking about what kind of a mom I hope to be when my son is grown up.

The mom I met was out rock climbing. She was standing on the edge of a cliff in a state park about an hour out of the city, holding armfuls of climbing gear, enjoying the beautiful day, the beautiful scenery, and doing something she loved. She taught me to set up climbing anchors at the cliff tops, I lent her some of my gear, and we all climbed together for the rest of the day, and heard her stories about sleeping in a sleeping bag roped to the side of a cliff half-way up a mountain, and other daring tales.

Her son is in his mid-twenties, and she’d been climbing for over 30 years. Climbing is something I’m very passionate about and it was wonderful to meet someone who has kept up her passion through motherhood.

Our lives change so much when we become moms, and often many of the things we do for ourselves get lost, or there is no time to do the hobbies and interests we used to have. I hope I can maintain some of the things I’m passionate about as well as being a mother. And I hope one day I’ll be old and wise, and I can help others and share knowledge and experience as generously as the mom I met does.

Maybe my son will love climbing too, maybe he won’t, I’d love to share that with him if he does, but whatever he is passionate about, I hope that I will be as good at supporting him, and also helping him to find a balance between doing things he loves and doing things he needs to do (like school).

And when he’s all grown up, and off doing his own things, I hope he’ll let me know what he’s doing, even if it’s something I don’t understand (and it probably will – who knows what kids of 2030 will be into?) and I’m sure I’ll be very proud of him. And I hope he’ll feel that however grown up he is, that his mom will always be his mom.

What kind of mom do you think you’ll be as your children grow, and when they are grown up? How do you maintain doing the things that you love?

It’s the big day they’ve been looking forward to. My twin boys turned 6 today! It is certainly a major milestone for the kids as well as for the parents. Here are the reasons why:

• 6 is the age when they start primary school. Until a year ago, kindergarten in Switzerland was not obligatory, so that for many kids, 6 is the year when they actually “leave the nest” for the first time.

• 6 is the age when kids start paying. From now on, they will be paying for public transport, museums, swimming pools, shows, etc. For the kids, 6 is the age when they can have their very own – albeit reduced – ticket. They are no longer the “gratis” babies who had to sit on mom/dad’s laps at ice hockey matches. They will have their own seat! Oh, how proud they are. (And oh, how much more do mommy and daddy have to spend now).

• 6 is the age when kids can do much more. There are games, rides, or toys that are only accessible to 6+ kids, including that big slide and the 3-meter diving board at our local swimming pool.

• 6 is also the age of the big doctor’s check up, when inoculations are finally completed, and when the kids are checked for school readiness.

In addition to these milestones, we have agreed that a couple things can happen once they turn 6, namely:

• They can choose the clothes they wear in the morning, although mommy still has to give the final approval based on weather conditions.

• They can go and shop for their birthday presents.

• They can brush their teeth in the evenings on their own.

Things went fairly well even though they went for sleeveless shirts and shorts on a not-so-warm day. It took them two hours to decide what to buy with their birthday budget of 10 Swiss Francs (about 8 US dollars).

In the end, they refused all suggestions from us parents – from swimming fins, to a ping pong set, etc, and opted for a little stuff toy instead (much to Dad’s dismay and mom’s delight). As for the tooth brushing, it went pretty well despite a mishap with the toothpaste.

It was just 6 years ago, they were born premature and much smaller than normal babies. I remember the weeks when they had to stay in the neonatal clinic. I remember how we lived through post partum depression, the superhot summer of 2003, four months of breast milk pumping, countless sleepless nights, tummy aches, teething pains, and respiratory tract infections. Those are the times when I had my doubts whether I could make it. But then I also remember the first smiles, the first steps, the first words, all the other “firsts”. My six years have come and gone. And I guess I’m allowed to say: we made it! Good night, my babies.

It’s fun to speculate what your little one will be, isn’t it?

My son is either going to be a TV show fashion critic, or a member of the Mafia.

OK, perhaps I should explain further.

I’ve nicknamed him Carson after Carson Kresley, the fashion expert on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and How To Look Good Naked. He’s blond, funny, cute, and has strong opinions about my fashion sense. Why, only yesterday, he insisted I took off the shirt that I picked, and he chose another one for me. It was red, and I was wearing a pink skirt, so we have different ideas of what colors go together. Or perhaps I just don’t understand his haute couture fashion style.

Now, how did I come up with the notion that he’d join the Mafia? We don’t have any Italian roots. It’s really more to do with his current love of concrete mixer trucks. He has about six, presents from grandparents and aunts and ones from the 99¢ bins at Target as a bribe for sitting in the cart while I shop. He’s fond of putting little plastic toy animals in the mixer. Just joking one day, after watching the Godfather on DVD the night before, I asked him if he was going to send the zebra to sleep with the fishes. Well, of course, he thought that was a marvelous idea (yes, I know it was a stupid thing to say) so ever since he’s been mixing up a whole zoo and singing about sleeping with fishes in a manner in which Vito Corleone would be proud.

So, in a entirely non-serious way, based on their personality, what do you think your baby or toddler might be when they grow up?

Eight-year old girls should still be playing with dolls and reading fairy tales – and not worrying about cup sizes and monthly periods. Unfortunately, it seems that more and more girls are entering puberty at an early age.

In 1997, a study on 17,000 girls in North Carolina showed that almost half of African Americans and 15% of whites had begun breast development by age 8. That was more than 10 years ago and this trend of early onset puberty is becoming the norm rather than the exception.

An LA Times article reviews what experts have to say.

It?s normal
Some specialists say the trend of early puberty is not abnormal. Good nutrition, good health care, and good standard of living ? these are all contributing factors that give the go signal to the body to start the process towards reproductive maturity. In other words, girls nowadays are growing up faster than the generations before them because of better quality of life.

It?s not normal
Others think this is abnormal and attribute this alarming trend to exposure to chemicals in food and the environment. Hormones and growth factors in food products are highly suspect.

The consequences
Whatever the reason behind these changes, there are consequences to think of:

• Early puberty means early exposure to estrogen. Estrogen level is a risk factor for breast and cervical cancers.

• There is non-synchrony between the physical and psychological development of these girls. Will we end up with little girls trapped in adult bodies?

• What about consequences on sexuality? Should sex education already start in the second grade? Shall we soon be worrying about pre-teenage pregnancy?

Source:

LA Times, 21 January 2008