While nearly everyone knows the dates of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, even the most with-it moms may not know this Sunday, September 13, is Grandparent’s Day. That doesn’t mean you have to break the bank on a pricey gift, but it is nice to remember the people who love to spoil your child.

Handmade gifts, or even a phone call or visit, might be the perfect offering. If your child’s grandparents live close, let your child spend the day, or even just a few hours, with them. What else can you do to make the day special for the grandparents in your baby’s life?

Handmade Crafts
While a greeting card is always a thoughtful gesture, if your child is old enough, a handmade card will mean even more. Even a preschooler or advanced toddler can make a card with construction paper and washable magic markers.

If you’re feeling ambitious, you may want to help your little one make this adorable “Cup of Love” mug. Let your child decide what to write on the cup, but you can help him along by suggesting phrases such as “#1 Grandma,” “I love you” and “You’re the best!”

Baked Goods
If your little one loves to help out in the kitchen, why not bake a special treat for Grandma and Grandpa’s special day? Keep in mind any special dietary needs older people may have, such as diabetes or high cholesterol. This recipe for oatmeal cookies, from Prevention’s Sugar Solution Cookbook, is true to its name: “Yummy, healthy oatmeal cookies.”

Unsweetened applesauce replaces butter and also reduces the amount of sugar required. The whole grain flour is absorbed more slowly than refined white flour, making this a safe snack (in moderation) for diabetics as well as anyone watching their weight. Kids can easily help by measuring and blending all the dry ingredients in a bowl. Be sure to keep preschoolers away from the hot oven, though.

Pictures, pictures, pictures
What grandparent doesn’t adore photos of their grandbabies? Ideally, we’d all have time to sit and scrapbook a whole album for every year of our child’s life, and then present it as a gift each Grandparent’s Day. In reality, we’re fortunate just to make time to upload digital images and order prints.

You can select one, two or three of your favorite pictures of your child and his grandparent and scrapbook just one page. Mount the page in a nice-looking frame and you have an inexpensive gift grandparents will love. Let your child select the photos and adornments.

Another creative and inexpensive gift is having pictures put on things like playing cards, a coffee mug, jewelry box or a calendar. Clark Color Labs has great deals on photography gifts as well as giving away free prints and free online storage of your photos!

A Day with the Grandparents
We all know that time with your kids is the best gift you can give to grandparents. Suggest some activities, or let the grandparents decide what they want to do with your kids for the day.

In honor of Grandparent’s Day, here are some more Babies Online articles about grandparents.

Happy Grandparent’s Day!

• Grandparenting from a Distance

• Fun Things You Can Do With your Grandchildren

• Why Granparents Are So Important to a Child

Bounty hunter and reality show star Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman is a grandfather once again. With his dangerous job and tough-as-nails persona, it may be difficult to think of him as Grandpa, but this is actually his fourteenth. Instead of a rocking chair or some other stereotypical image, just think black suits, big SUVs and mace.

Actually Dog is just one example of the changing image of grandparenting. Many older people are quite active, and continue to work in their respective fields. Chapman first found fame after the capture of fugitive Andrew Luster. He had actually been in the bounty hunter business for years before that. His arrest by authorities in Mexico for not turning Luster over to them turned out to be a boon for his career. It led to the TV show Dog the Bounty Hunter on the A&E Network, and the expansion of his bail bonds business.

Chapman’s daughter Lyssa gave birth to a baby girl she named Madalynn Grace Galanti. The baby was born on Friday August 7, in Honolulu, Hawaii. The baby weighed six pounds, 15 ounces at birth. Lyssa Chapman-Galanti has a seven-year old daughter, Abbie Mae. She is also stepmother to her husband’s four-year old daughter. In fact, she is a licensed bounty hunter as well and works with her father.

The hit series was temporarily derailed after Champan was caught on tape using racial slurs. A&E stopped production in November 2007. He apologized and received support from the show’s fans as well minority leaders.

Here’s to “Dog” and all the other rocking Grandpas out there. I imagine that this baby will have a lot of love right from the get go. Congratulations to mom Lyssa Chapman-Galanti on the birth of her daughter. Dog frequently talks about his love for his family on his show. This new granddaughter will be yet another chance for him to show that love.

My daughter has only two living grandparents. She is also blessed to have two great-grandmothers, as well, and with the longevity on my husband’s side of the family, I’m pretty sure they will live long enough for her to remember them. I knew only one of my grandparents and none of my great-grandparents, so I’m happy my daughter has this opportunity.

However, both her Grammy and her Grandpa (both on my husband’s side) live out of state. This breaks her their hearts that they can’t get to see Ashley growing up, but we make the best of it.

Since Ashley was born, I’ve grown closer to my mother-in-law, and try to stay in touch with frequent phone calls. After all, she is the one person I know who loves to hear every single detail of Ashley’s day and the new things she does. Since I love talking about my baby, it’s a perfect match!

I try to take pictures at every milestone, including monthly birthdays. I upload them to the computer and e-mail my mother-in-law the albums. Photos are one way to keep in touch, but with today’s technology, there are many ways to help long distance grandparents (and other relatives) stay in touch with their growing grandchildren. Best of all, none of these ideas take a lot of time or cost a lot of money!

1. If you have your photos processed online, at a site such as Clark prints, you can upload photos and then have them shipped directly to the grandparent’s house. No trip to the post office? No hunting for envelopes and hoping you have the right postage? I can live with that. (Clark Color Labs will give you your first 30 prints for free! – click here for more information)
2. A blog. I just introduced Ashley’s Grammy to this blog as a great place—in addition to my frequent phone calls—to stay up-to-date on the developments in Ashley’s life. New moms can easily set up their own blog right here at Babies Online, where you can upload photos and stories for friends and relatives  to view.
3. Video. The possibilities to bring babies and grandparents closer are endless when you add video into the mix. You can take video and upload it to Youtube or your Babies Online Web page for people to view. Most digital cameras today have options to record a few minutes of video. Some events to capture in the first months of life include milestones such as baby’s first meal, rolling over, playing with a favorite toy, and even a few seconds of your little angel sleeping.
4. You can set up a Web cam and add another interactive element to phone calls. Since babies love looking at friendly faces, this is a great way for baby to get to know Grandma and Grandpa, maybe even before they meet in person!

Today’s society tends to scatter family members across the globe but fortunately, technology can bring us closer again.

This year, start a new tradition in your family the day after Thanksgiving: participate in the National Day of Listening.

The project was started by Story Corps., a non-profit group which collects stories designed to cherish and inspire others to celebrate life. I?ve listened to some of the interviews on NPR and it?s fascinating to hear them. The stories tell how people fought brave battles with cancer or lived through the great Depression or volunteered at a soup kitchen. It?s fascinating!

Usually, at least here in America, the day after Thanksgiving is spent shopping and rushing around to get the best deals for the upcoming Christmas holiday. Wouldn?t it be a neat idea to sit down with your children and parents and grandparents the day after Thanksgiving and spend some time together sharing memories instead of shopping? I suppose you could share memories while shopping too, but it wouldn?t quite be the same.

My children and I have sat down and asked my grandmother, now in her mid-80?s, various questions. We?ve learned a lot about her life, and the life of her parents and grandparents who were immigrants to America. In addition to that, we?ve learned a lot about American culture and how it?s changed over the past decades. One of my favorite stories was of how John F Kennedy rode by her beauty salon in the 1960?s when he was president and how all of the ladies ran outside with their hair in curlers to get a glimpse of him. This was, from what she told me, absolutely scandalous in the 1960?s. But it’s worth it to get a glimpse of the handsome president she said with a smirk!

Think about all the people with whom you interact with on a daily basis and consider the wisdom and life experiences of those people. Certainly we all have something to share and learn from each other. If you want to participate in the project, you can learn more at the National Day of Listening website.

When I saw the title of the study touting “Kids Safer When Grandparents Watch Them“, I said, well of course! Grandparents usually don’t have 3 to 10 kids to take care of, as opposed to any type of day care. They’re also generally over-protective, and I would even say, overindulgent. They may carry the kids more throughout the day rather than putting them down to play. My own parents treat my daughter like she’s a china doll who’s apt to break at the tiniest pressure rather than the tough-as-nails baby that she is. I have literally seen her take a nose-dive to the floor from a trampoline. She barely whimpered, and I think I was affected more than she was.

The study also added that kids seem to have less injuries even compared to Mom. This gave me a bit of a pause. And I admit I was a bit miffed. But then I thought to myself, I do let my daughter roam freely, and give her a lot of room to fall in ways her grandparents would never do. That trampoline fall? They’d have been inches away from her, and would have caught her in time. They may not even have let her hands go on the trampoline. There’s a good chance, my dad wouldn’t even have let her ON the trampoline.

The study admits more research needs to be done.

“Additional studies of how households choose relatives to watch their children and the actual caregiving style of grandparents are warranted, because the protective effect of grandparents may depend on choosing the right grandparent”

I know I prefer my parents watching my daughter. But I also know of other parents who wish to hire non-relatives instead, to lessen tension because of differences of opinion. What do you prefer?

Even though I am the oldest, my sister was the first to bless my father and step-mother with a grandchild. I remember that as soon as she could talk, she named my father ?Poppy?. My step-mother was ?Grammy?. Although my mother had passed on years before, we decided to give her a grandmotherly name too. When we refer to my mother in conversation, we call her ?O-Ma?, which is German for grandmother.

When my children were born several years later, life got even more complex. Not only were there grandparents to name, but there were great-grandparents to name too. Both of the parents of my parents were still alive at the time. On my ex?s side, there was one great-grandparent to name in addition to his parents.

Some of the relatives were happy with traditional names, others were more creative. My grandmother decided that she was much too young at the age of 75 to be a great-grandmother and she asked for the children to call her G.G. This was code for ?what a GREAT grandmother!?

Some of my grandparents asked my children to call them the same name that I called them. For example, my grandfather announced that he was ?Pappy?, and that everyone regardless of which generation they hailed from could address him as such.

Several years ago, I remarried and my children gained a whole new family. My husband?s family didn?t mind having the girls refer to them by their first names?until my husband and I had a child together last year. We all realized that it was important to find names which would be appropriate for everyone. We added ?grandma? and ?grandpa? before their names and the transition was relatively painless for my children.

A quick internet search revealed that there are numerous nicknames for grandparents and great grandparents. Some of the names, like Gramby, I thought were clever and cute. Some, like Slo-Ma, could be cruel or funny, depending upon your sense of humor.

When choosing a nickname for your parents and grandparents, it?s best to ask them what they prefer to be called. If they have no preference, you may wish to make some suggestions but let them make the final decision. Then again, your child may make the decision for both of you!

What nickname have you chosen for your children?s grandparents? How did you choose that name?

My wife and I live approximately 40 minutes by car from her parents, at least when they are not living up north at the cottage for the summer. Since their town is smaller and has fewer “essential” ammenities (like a mall, big box stores, etc.) they are often in our neck of the woods, and tend to stop by every time. If I were to put an average on it, I would say they visit about one or two times per week, generally for a lunch or at least a couple of hours. We occasionally go to their place for family dinners, but I would estimate that number at five times per year, making it insignificant in the grand scheme.

My parents live quite a bit further away – the car trip takes about five hours, depending on bladder capacity (did I mention my wife is pregnant?) and travel companion mood (did I mention my daughter is a normal three year old kid?). We try to get there once every four to six weeks or so, depending on schedules, weather, and holidays. Also, my parents cannot travel to see us because of health reasons, so whenever we get to them is all that they see of my daughter.

I understand the discrepancy between families is directly a function of our distance. I am not comparing the two. What I am wondering is whether or not our frequencies (for either family) are typical or average. I think a big part of our desire to give our daughter as much time with them as possible is the knowledge that since they are older, they will not be around forever. (Yes, this post is partially driven by guilt that I feel for not visiting my parents more often.)

How often do your children see their grandparents? How much does distance factor into that decision? Do you feel comfortable with the amount of time they spend together, or do you always feel like there should be more? Is the whole “they will not be around forever” argument part of your consideration?

My husband was almost 40 when our first child was born. Grandma and Grandpa were thrilled, but Grandma was shocked to find out that things had changed since her baby was a baby.

She was not amused.

Grandma was horrified when I chose to breastfeed my infant. She was aghast when I announced that I would not be mixing cereal in a bottle so that my son would sleep through the night when he was 4 weeks old. When I declined to bind his stomach so he wouldn’t get a hernia, she was downright concerned. Shortly thereafter, she began making daily visits to the house, I assume to check up on me and make sure her grandchild was doing alright.

I had discussed the above issues with the pediatrician who confirmed that parenting techniques have definitely changed in 40 years. When I chose to follow the advice of the pediatrician instead of listening to Grandma, Grandma was furious. What did a pediatrician know anyway?

She refused to read the literature I brought to her and declined to visit the pediatrician’s office with me to discuss her concerns with my son’s doctor at the next well baby visit. I have to admit, I was at a loss as to handling this situation.

My husband sat down with her and explained that her everyday visits were no longer welcome. She was welcome to come and visit once a week, with advance notice. If she wanted, she could take her grandson for a walk around the neighborhood in his stroller (one of her favorite activities). Finding the middle ground turned out to be a boon for our son and for our relationship with his Grandma. We could still have our boundaries, but we learned that including her in the process helped smooth out the rough spots along the way.

When we decided (along with the pediatrician’s ok) that it was time to begin solid foods, we called her to be present. She was thrilled to be able to feed her grandchild his second spoonful of solid foods. Because of issues with my older children, I needed for my son to be able to take a bottle as well as nurse. Grandma helped me by feeding him breast milk in a bottle because he refused to take a bottle from me. When I have to travel out of state or take my older children to specialist appointments, she is more than willing to keep our son at her house so he doesn’t have to travel with us. I appreciate that so much.

We still don’t agree on many issues, and I doubt that we will quite frankly. I’ve learned to pick my battles, hold firm to my boundaries, and communicate with her when something annoys me. Another thing that has helped immensely is reminding myself that although we see things differently, we both share one important thing: love for a special young boy. Love triumphs over details any day.

I was chatting with a grandmother who had five children. I asked her how she managed with five, and she said that it was easy raising them. “What’s your secret?” I asked. “Oh, I sent them all outside to play during the day, then they came home for their dinner.”

And if you talk to your grandmother, or great-grandmother, it’s likely she did something very similar with her kids. That was just what you did back then.

Can you imagine a modern mom doing that? Haven’t times changed? And Grandmothers don’t think it’s changed for the better.

Grandmothers are watching in horror as their children turn into over-ambitious, competitive parents with pampered, demanding offspring, according to a new report into how women’s experience of motherhood has changed over the generations.

Grandmothers are worried about their daughters trying to balance motherhood and work and their own lives, the pressure on their grandchildren to attend music classes and gym classes and yoga for babies, prepare a gourmet menu of homemade baby food every day, do exactly the right amount of tummy-time and encourage their babies to meet all their milestones on time – no, make that just a bit earlier than the other babies in their playgroup.

Professor Rachel Thomson, co-director of The Making Of Modern Motherhood report, a study of moms, grandmothers and great-grandmothers, found that

Grandmothers believed the range of choices available to their daughters not only turned mothering into a competition, but also undermined their daughters’ confidence in their ability to care for their children. ‘The gains offered by this story of progress were dwarfed by the losses in the grandmothers’ eyes,’ she said, ‘including the creation of demanding babies.’

Pick up any baby magazine and it’s full of the latest gadgets and gizmos that claim they will help your baby learn music, spelling, and make baby smarter and generally better.

And then there’s all the safety research. Bis-phenols in plastic? I have the BPA-free bottles for my baby, says one mom. Well, I use the glass bottles, say another. I have aluminum chemical free non-leaching bottles! says the third.

Local parenting magazines have adverts for all kinds of baby classes for even the youngest babies. When my son was a couple of months old, I called up about one class. The teacher told me that they “have a wonderful learning environment to teach the babies to roll over”.

What, we need classes to teach our babies how to roll over? (My son did manage to learn perfectly well without the class.) There seems to be a new product or service every day to teach your baby to do something that their mom, or older brothers and sisters would have traditionally taught them.

I think I like being a mom in 2008. I like all the options of classes, products and entertainment available to me and my son, I try not to fret when I see a younger child do something my son can’t do yet, and I think I’m well-educated enough about safety issues to make informed choices about how to parent my son. Even though it does make me worry when there’s a new recall or a new danger seemingly every day.

Would you rather have been a mother in simpler times, a generation or two ago?
Or it is better for moms and babies in today’s world with all the new benefits, but all the new stresses?

We live in America and this week we are visiting our families in the UK. We survived my in-laws, and now it’s my husband’s turn to visit his in-laws, we are now staying with my Mom and Dad.

Toddler finds a kindred spirit in my Dad. My Dad is the sort who can entertain a small child for hours with nothing more than a pile of shredded paper or his slippers and Toddler is entranced.

Toddler is the only baby in the family, so he has a lot of Nanas, Great Grandmas and Aunties. There’s a lot of people to see and names to remember, so Toddler simplifies it by calling everyone “Grandad”.

The grannies who come to visit sit round, and compare ailments, and try to out-brag each other, despite Toddler being everyone’s grandchild. Old habits are hard to break.

Greatgranny 1 – My eyes aren’t what they were, I can’t see a thing. Still he’s a handsome little man, isn’t he? Looks just like my son at his age, although without all that hair. I brought him that whatjamacallit over there, with the flashing lights. We never had those in my day.

(I think, Yeah, he has a mullet. So? He won’t wear a hat so it keeps his head warm. Anyway, I thought you couldn’t see. Thanks for the large plastic fire truck garage, but how on earth are we supposed to get it home on the plane?)

Greatgranny 2 – Yes, my shoulder is like that. I can’t get dressed without a whole tube of Bengay. I have so many photos of him now, my friends say what a handsome boy he is. And such a bright little thing, he can read books all by himself, did you know?

(Well, no, he can’t, but whatever. He does know letters though. My ultra-competitive aunt and sister are playing scrabble and Toddler comes up behind my sister and shouts out A! B! B! P! causing strategic loss of triple word score to my aunt.)

Etc.

It was lovely to see all my wonderful family. I’m so sad to leave but it’s time to go. I wish with all my heart I lived nearer to my family.

We board the plane back to the States. We get home uneventfully, and a few days later, we are all running on Central time again. Toddler, however, appears to be running on Eastern Samoan time. I think it’s time for a nap.

We are visiting the UK to see our families this week, and I’m delighted to report we all survived our flight.

We narrowly missed the plane, Toddler (and Daddy) fell in love with a real Ferrari on a win-a-Ferrari display at the airport and we lost track of time until the airline had to page us (”Will Mrs Brit and party get to the gate IMMEDIATELY” and I always feel the announcer wants to add “Jeez, you people are stupid, you had TWO HOURS to get there after check in.”)

I got in some great cardio chasing him up and down the airplane aisles. We actually managed to bring one more diaper than was needed, instead of one less, which is more usual, although changing a poopy diaper with the plane hitting turbulence midway through is somewhat challenging. He refused to eat any food from the plane except the margarine from the in-flight meal and then poured a cup of apple juice over him and me, so I’m glad I brought sandwiches and spare clothes.

The highlight of Toddler’s vacation was coming next. We took the train from the airport to the Grandparent’s house. Toddler was obviously expecting something that looked like Thomas and was plainly disappointed there was no steam, faces on the front of the trains, or anything he could push along and make choo-choo noises. But he soon warmed up to them and had lots of fun shouting at the other trains going by while we waited for ours, and some obliging drivers waved and beeped their horns.

Our train arrives. Toddler immediately disregards the notice to not put your feet on the seats, so I take his boots off, whereupon he decides he wants to run up and down the aisle. Toddler announces a “Big Poo!” to the whole train. Changing a diaper on a train is even harder than on an airplane. Toddler is very excited to see sheep, and cows, and ponies in the lovely English countryside out of the window.

It’s been a tiring journey, but seeing how delighted Grandma and Grandad are to see us makes it all worth it. And hearing Toddler talking in his sleep about “purple train! purple train!” is a sweet bonus!

I read an article today about a Japanese family who began a tradition of decorating a small, artificial Christmas tree back before WWII. That tree, and it’s symbol of more joyous times became a rallying point that carried the family thru the heartbreak of WWII, the atomic blast, and other heartbreaking events. Even during the war, when anything western would mean arrest, the family still kept up the tradition. A picture near the article shows an elderly Japanese man decorating a small fragile tree with ornaments.

This will be our son’s first Christmas. He won’t remember this year at all, but his sister’s have already spelled it out for him–and reminded me just in case I forgot(which I didn’t) all the things that we need to do for “Christmas” to happen.

The elves always come after Thanksgiving–no one knows when–but usually appear after someone has been exceptionally nice or things like that. They leave small gifts(found at the Dollar Store at the North Pole I suppose) in stockings and leave as quietly as they came. The elves started that tradition at my grandmother’s house 35 years ago. Back then, they gave scented Avon perfume and soap of course, but it’s still the same concept.

And of course, the Advent calendars that my great-grandparents would get for each of us so we could count down the days until Christmas. This year, our son watched his sister’s open up their calendars, but next year….just you wait!

Then, there’s always Christmas cookies! Though I am now living several states away from the rest of the family, my sister’s and I still continue the tradition started with my great grandmother, who baked extra treats during the Depression to sell to help feed her large family. My grandmother and my mother continued the tradition, as did my mother with us. When she passed away at a young age, my sisters’ and I continued the tradition. Despite divorces, job cuts, illness, or impending arrival of babies, we still got together to bake with all of our children. What a crazy, messy, fun time! Now, we each bake a recipe and box it up and send it to the others as we are far apart. A little bit of love in a box.

Every year, my grandfather would buy us a cookie cutter for Christmas. It was usually of something important that happened during that year, so it was special. As I bake my cookies this year, I pulled out the cookie cutters and told the stories to my children about a great-grandfather they never got to meet and the importance of each one of these special reminders of his love.

We all feel very blessed that we’ve been entrusted with a new life to share these traditions with. And, who knows, perhaps my grandchildren will be doing the same with their children, 70 years from now.