Our current living situation has my family living with my parents for the moment. It hasn’t been bad actually. My parents work different shifts from us and we often have the house to ourselves. Aside from a little annoyances here and there, understandable in close quarters, everything seems to be working out. Nothing can replace the peace of mind of having my mom taking care of my daughter when I’m off to school (second degree), and the joy of seeing her grandparents dote on her.

I go to school partly on campus, and partly online, so my daughter pretty much spends the weekdays evenly between my mom and me. I even edge Grandma in time spent with Mina if you count the weekends. So, I’d figure, she should be equally attached to Grandma and me, right? RIGHT?

Well, she’s not. She likes my mom more. And honestly, it HURTS! I know I should be grateful that she’s being cared for by someone who obviously loves and cares for her, and who she loves in return, but that’s hard to remember when:

• She practically tries to jump out of my arms when my mom comes into the room
• Cries inconsolably when my mom leaves the room
• Refuses to come to me when I try to take her from my mom
• Practically ignores me when I come into the room but lights up when my mom does

I don’t even know what I’m doing wrong. I try my best not to give her any indication that this upsets me, but deep down, I’m crushed. I have read up on this to see if other moms have experienced the same thing, and thankfully, I don’t seem to be the only one out there. However, I would like advice. I know it’s not my Mom’s fault, and I want Mina to love and like her Grandma. But I’d like an equal opportunity relationship with her, if you know what I mean. What, if anything, should I do differently? Should I just let it go and hope she passes through the phase soon? Should I bribe her with treats so she associates those with me? Should I make sure she spends all weekends with me and not spend anytime with her Grandma? That sounds a bit harsh to me, but I’d love to hear if any of you are able to give words of advice and wisdom.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to be grateful that my she has a special relationship with my mom, and try not to get jealous.

Earlier this week, a woman was arrested for driving a car with a three year old on the roof. The woman in question was the child’s grandmother, and when confronted by police, argued that she was driving very slowly, in a parking lot, and that the girl was completely safe because she was also holding on to her leg.

Of course, using that logic, car seats are no longer necessary, since a parent or guardian’s hand on their leg is enough to keep a child from bodily harm.

I could not believe the story when I read it. Initially, I thought that the grandmother had placed the child on the car while loading it (a debatable practice itself, but one I could halfway understand) and then started the vehicle in motion before realizing the little girl was not secured inside her car seat. When I realized that this was not the case, and that the girl was being taken for some bizarre form of toddler joy ride, I was mortified. To say that the woman’s actions lacked good judgment is an understatement. What she did was just plain stupid.

What do you think about this story?

Well, it’s finally happened. I’ve stumbled upon my very first same-age friend to become a grandma, and I’m not quite sure what I think about it.

In other words, there is a woman the same age as me who has a grandchild.

Now I know I’m no spring chicken, but I didn’t have my babies too incredibly late in life. I haven’t even reached the point of AMA (Advanced Maternal Age), yet here is my friend from high school who is a grandmother. Granted, she had some special circumstances. She had her first baby when she was sixteen, and then her daughter turned around and had a baby at eighteen and viola! A grandmother at age 34. Yikes.

I haven’t worked up the nerve to ask her what it’s like to know that her daughter followed a similar pattern, and if this is something she had hoped to avoid. I bet she wonders how I can stand chasing two little kids around while her children are on their way out of the house. We’re of the same age, but we’re not living in the same world, essentially.

I’m glad I waited to have kids. I’m glad that by the time my kids even think about having their own children I’ll probably have given up trying to hide gray hairs. Then again, I wonder if my friend is glad she had children so young so now she can go out and start a whole new life…as a grandmother.