This week expectant mom Heidi Klum told E! that she won’t be telling hubbie Seal if they are having a boy or a girl. The baby, due this fall, will the couple’s third, and Heidi’s fourth.

Heidi says that Seal doesn’t want to know, and so she’s being careful not to tell anyone just in case the news gets back to him. They have two boys together, and Seal is the adoptive father to Heidi’s daughter from her first marriage.

Heidi says that she’s hoping for a girl, and while the couple haven’t revealed when they are due, gossip columnists are estimating she’s at about four months and, oooh, excitement, she’ll soon be able to find out by ultrasound.

From a non-scientific poll of couples I know, Seal isn’t that unusual. A lot of dads were happy to be surprised, and most moms wanted to know. Perhaps moms want to plan the nursery colors and start buying pink or blue onesies, and dads figure that it’s not all that important until they are called on to instruct catching fly balls or inspect potential prom dates?  Stereotyping is alive and well over here.

Around mid-pregnancy, lots of men can’t wait to find out the gender of the baby. But at only half-way through, others see the birth of the baby as an event far out into the future and are at ease with not knowing right now. But wait until seven months and dad will probably start speculating on whether he’ll be watching football with his offspring or being begged for money to go to the mall with. Oops, stereotyping again.

I wanted to know what I was having, my husband didn’t want to know. I agreed I wouldn’t tell him. He went out of the room during the critical point of the ultrasound and the technician stage-whispered “I saw a PENIS” then we let him back in. Then I slipped in the parking lot by referring to the baby as “him” and the cat was out of the bag. Whoops.

It’s a hard secret to keep, so if your husband really doesn’t want to know, you might want to consider not finding out yourself, or you’d better be good at keeping things to yourself.

My great-grandmother was a lay midwife and delivered many babies. She said she could “tell” if a baby was a boy or a girl and claimed that her methods were incredibly accurate. Since I’ve had an ultrasound which made it very clear that our child is a boy, I thought I’d evaluate some of the tales I’ve heard to see how true they are.

Chinese Gender Chart
I found that there are actually several variations circulating. Most of the variations accurately predicted that our child was a boy.

Morning Sickness Method
Supposedly, you have more intense morning sickness if you are carrying a girl. My morning sickness is not as intense as it was with my girls, but yet, it is there and is more intense than it was with my first son. I don’t know what this means actually, except that I have morning sickness which still affects me 5 months into my pregnancy.

Heartbeat Method
According to this tale, if a child has a slow heartbeat, it’s a boy. If it has a fast heartbeat, it is a girl. The cut off is supposedly around 140. This child has a heartbeat of 150 consistently, so this myth didn’t accurately predict the gender of our child this pregnancy.

Out In Front Or All Around?
According to this myth, you can tell the gender of your child based upon how you are “carrying” the child. If you gain weight all over, your child is a girl. If your weight gain is all “out in front”, it’s a boy. For me, this has been true.

For this pregnancy, half of the myths of listed accurately predicted the gender of our child; half did not. This tells me that I had a 50/50 chance of guessing the gender of our child correctly! While the myths may not be of any real help in enlightening you as to your child’s gender, they are a fun way to pass time while waiting for your bundle of joy to show up.

The myths and legends about baby gender and sex ratio abound. So do research studies and scientific theories.

According to the basics of biology, the sex ratio in humans should be 50:50. In reality, however, the sex ratio among newborns is actually 106 boys to 100 girls (51.5% in favour of boys). Researchers believe that this is nature’s ways of compensating for the fact that fetal and infant mortality among boys is much higher than girls. In recent years, more studies revealed some explanations about departure of sex ratio from the 50:50 norm.

A previous study has observed that sex ratio is linked to food availability. In hard times when food supply is low, it seems to be more advantageous to produce more baby boys than girls because human females need more food and energy than males when they produce eggs and become pregnant.

Another study by Italian researchers showed that seasons can influence a baby’s sex. It seems that nature favors conception of girls from March to May and boys from September to November. Again this is supposed to be linked to food supply, as autumn (at least in the northern hemisphere) is harvest time.

A recent study by researchers from the University of Georgia found even more intriguing data on sex ratio. They observed that the likelihood of having a baby girl increases with decreasing distance to the equator. This makes the sex ratio skewed, with more boys born in higher latitudes (e.g. North America, Europe) and more girls born in the tropics. The data is based on the sex ratio of newborn babies in 202 countries, from equatorial Africa up to northern Europe. Again, the reason for this skewed sex ratio is attributed to human evolution in response to food supply. Food supply in the tropics is less variable (or at least it used to be) and therefore should favor girls than in northern latitudes where there is winter to reckon with.

This is very interesting considering the fact that many countries in the equatorial region are actually culturally more inclined to favor boys than girls and may actually practice sex-specific abortion. The researchers took this into account in their analysis, with the same results.

In addition, the distribution of food supply has actually changed during the last fifty years or more due to economic development, technological advancement, and climate change. What we see now is that the more developed countries in higher latitudes have ample food supply whereas many areas in the tropics are experiencing food shortage due to droughts, floods, and typhoons. If the sex ratio is really linked to food supply, then we would expect a shift in the future for more girls to be born in Europe and North America. However, evolution is a slow process so we probably won’t see this shift in our lifetime.

The study only considered mothers and babies who actually live in those geographical regions. In other words, there is no guarantee that you’ll have your baby girl by simply spending a holiday in a tropical destination.

I was shopping at my local Walgreen’s pharmacy where I spied a prenatal gender test for about $35.   No, I didn’t purchase the test, but I thought about it.  I still am thinking about the test.

The test is called the Intelligender. Supposedly, it’s available at different pharmacies, but it can also be ordered online if you can’t find the product in your local area.

Chemicals in the test react with your urine to identify the gender of the child you are carrying.  An orange color means your child is a girl. A green color means your child is a boy.  The test manufacturers claim that the results are 80% accurate if the directions are followed.

I am having an ultrasound next Monday, where I hope to find out my child’s gender minus the $35 dollar expense.  I know, $35 doesn’t sound like a lot of money, but yet it is.

Have you heard of this product? Would you try it for $35?

My husband and I are having fun “guessing” the gender of our child that is due in August.  We’ve checked the Chinese Birth Chart, and we’ve pondered our child’s heart rate. We’ve looked at the way I’m “carrying”–which is all out in the front.  Does that mean it’s a boy?

I’ve also looked at my diet and my cravings to see if I could ascertain our child’s gender that way.  I’ve considered a few other “old wives’ tales” that my great grandmother told me about in an effort to discover the gender of our child.  My great grandmother was a lay midwife and had 6 of her own children, so she should have known a thing or two about babies!  I think anyway….

Yet, I am still uncertain as to the gender of our child.  I know–all that effort for what? I suppose it makes the pregnancy go faster?

Last night, my aunt asked me how active our child is in utero.  At this stage, I mostly feel flutters, so I can’t quite gauge it’s activity.  My aunt claims that her male children were more active in utero than her female children.  I suppose this held true for my pregnancies too; my son was more active than my daughters.

Have you noticed a difference in the activity level during your pregnancy between your male and female children? Do you think you can use this to determine gender?

Today I’m going to share my second pre-natal appointment with Babies Online readers! My hope is that maybe this will be helpful to you though.

I was nervous today because I’ve miscarried around four months before.  I am spotting now.  Is it “normal” or a sign of something ominous?

At first, they had trouble finding the baby’s heartbeat.  As I have been pregnant quite a few times, my uterus is large for date (I say I am old and my elastic is stretched out–they say maybe it is twins).  We could hear flutters though.  Some babies do NOT like the doppler I’ve been told and wince away from them, even in utero.  The midwife swore she heard a heartbeat but it kept moving.  She couldn’t get a “lock” on it.

I was trying to NOT panic.  It’s not easy.  They asked me if I would like an ultrasound to reassure myself and of course I said yes.  It took a while until the machine was free in the office and I waited and tried to not worry.  As we were walking to the machine, the midwife told me that she felt I might be having twins as my uterus was so large for my due date. Either that or my dates were off.  I still was going with the stretched elastic theory though.

We got in there and the first thing I noticed was the flutter for the heart.  My baby was OK.  The midwife checked for two–there was none.  My dates were correct too.  What do you know? It IS stretched elastic after all!

The baby was curled up with his or her knees in his or her face.  We laughed about that.  How is that even remotely comfortable?  All of this room and this baby is curled up on itself!

There was no sign of bleeding or blood in the ultrasound.  The midwife told me that sometimes, women who have had surgery on their cervix (I’ve had 2 to remove pre-cancerous cells) can spot and bleed a little bit.  She felt this was the cause of my spotting.

The heart rate is 160.  My great-grandmother would have sworn that meant it was a girl.  This midwife tells me that the whole heart rate and gender correlation is a myth.  We’ll see.  My next appointment is in 3 weeks, although they’ve set me up with a genetic counselor for a session and a level 2 ultrasound because of my “advanced maternal age”.

Read more about my pregnancy journey here.

Even with the progress that has been made in equality of the sexes, and even among the children of my most right-on, feminist friends, little boys play with trucks and little girls play with dollies.

I wonder if there’s some truth to the stereotype of boys liking cars and girls liking dolls. My son first encountered a toy truck at about 6 months. It captivated him so much that it was all he played with for a week. His first “words” were brrm brrm.  My 9-month-old daycare baby girl ignores trucks but loves to look at dolls and toy animals.

This might be from parents consciously  or unconsciously buying gender specific toys, but maybe that’s not the whole story. In 2005, researchers studying baby monkeys found that girl monkys preferred dolls and soft toys, and boy monkeys preferred cars.

Back in the 1970’s, researchers studied the tendency for boys to play with cars and girls to play with dolls. They found that the way girls played with their toys helped them learn about communication, empathy, and helped them develop emotional literacy. The way boys played with trucks and blocks helped them learn technical skills.

Both skills sets are valuable, but as just about anyone who has tried to talk to their man knows, knowing how to change a tire is not very useful when talking about a  relationship or an emotional issue.  And even though most women are better at communicating than men, it doesn’t help much when you run over a nail with your car when you went out without your cellphone and have no idea what to do.  Our sons and daughters need both skill sets.

And the latest study on gender bias in toys has worrying results. Toys marketed to girls have considerably less educational value than toys marketed to boys. While girl toys are great for learning about emotions and communication, for and encouraging creative, imaginative play, that’s just about all they do. There’s a much wider range of boy toys, and they teach literacy, technical skills, problem solving, as well as creative play.

So perhaps for your little one’s birthday, consider a dolly for your son, or some blocks for your daughter?

There was a time when preference for male offspring was very strong. A man started a family in order to produce an heir, an offspring to carry on the family name. Although this has since changed in most parts of the world, there are still cultures where gender preference (hence gender selection) is still practiced. The woman was almost invariably blamed for giving birth to the wrong gender. Failure to produce an heir used to result in the mother being disgraced and/or divorced.

The science of genetics has brought about woman’s vindication on the gender issue. It is now known that  sperm determines the gender of the embryo depending whether it contains an X or a Y chromosome.

This latest research at the Newscastle University in the UK puts even more responsibility on the father – whether a child is a boy or a girl depends on the father’s genes.

It seems that the tendency to produce sons or daughters is inherited by men from their parents. Thus, a man who has many sisters is more likely to produce a daughter while a man who has many brothers is more likely to produce sons. The results are based on data of 927 North American and European family trees going as far back to 1600 and involving over half a million members of these families.

The results of this latest genetic research explain the following:

• why there is almost a 1 to 1 ratio of males to females in our population
• why more baby boys were born after the World Wars

Several posts on baby gender issues have been tackled here at BOL. Please click to see previous posts.

Trying for a baby boy? While what only really matters is a healthy baby of either gender, many moms would admit they have a slight preference for one gender over the other, and perhaps wonder how to have a baby boy?

I have a son, and if I could pick the gender of my next baby, I’d have a girl, to have one of each. But I want a baby boy too, and would adore another son equally of course!

Do you want to know how to conceive a baby boy? If you are thinking “how can I have a baby boy” here’s a rundown of scientifically based methods and advice that might increase your chances of having a boy.

The Baby Boy Diet

Much in the news lately: moms who eat high calorie diets around the time of conception are slightly more likely to have a baby boy. Moms who eat more breakfast cereals are also more likely to have sons. so does eating the baby boy diet work?

Brit thinks: No. Don’t risk skimping on vital nutrients. Just eat healthily.

Timing Intercourse to Have a Baby Boy

Biology 101: the sex of a baby is totally decided by sperm. Either a “male” or a “female” sperm gets to the egg first, resulting in a baby boy or baby girl. Male sperm are faster swimmers, but don’t live as long as female sperm. Female sperm are slower but tougher and more persistent.So there are various methods of timing intercourse relative to ovulation that increase the odds of having a boy. To have a boy, having intercourse as close as possible to ovulation gives the faster male sperm the best chance to get to the egg first. Here’s a closer look at this method including how to determine when you are ovulating . So does timing sex to have a baby boy work?

Brit thinks: scientific evidence supports this one and success rates are reportedly around 70%. So try this one. but the planning seems to take the fun out of babymaking somewhat?

The Loose Underpants Method

As female sperm are tougher, they survive better in hostile environments. What’s hostile for sperm? They don’t like being too hot, for example in hot baths, or tight boxer shorts. Activities your man does may also reduce the number of male sperm. Professional cyclists, scuba divers and jet fighter pilots father significantly more daughters than average.So loose underpants for him, avoid saunas or hot baths for a few days before trying to conceive, and if he is a cyclist and you want a boy, suggest he cuts down on the time he spends in the saddle.More evidence? My dad is a serious cyclist and I’m one of two girls. Another cyclist friend has three daughters.

Brit thinks: temporary lifestyle changes might be worth trying. If your man has a sperm-unfriendly profession or hobby, why not go on a relaxing vacation for a few days, give his male sperm a chance to regroup and then try to conceive?

Watch What Your Man Drinks, and Smokes

Smoking and drinking are both well known to reduce sperm counts, and just like the job or hobby your man does reduces the number of male sperm more than female sperm, drinking or smoking will reduce the number of male sperm in relation to the number of hardier female sperm. So heavy drinkers or smokers may be less likely to have boys.

Brit thinks: drinking too much or smoking is bad for you anyway. Dads-to-be should certainly be quitting smoking, and reducing the amount of alcohol drunk is a healthy choice. So these lifestyle choices are ones dads-to-be should certainly consider whether or not they want a boy.

Ovulation Calculator

Want to know when you’ll be ovulating next?

When Dara Torres (US), and Constantina Tomescu (Romania) won medals last week in swimming and marathon, respectively, nobody batted an eyelid. Why should they? Many other women like them -Paula Radcliffe (UK, long distance runner) and Lindsay Davenport (US, tennis player), to name a few – have achieved athletic feats not unheard of in this day and age.

What all these women have in common is that they are older than your average competitive sportsperson but are still competing at the Beijing Olympics. At 38, Constantina is the oldest marathon winner in Olympic history while 41-year old Dara is the oldest ever member of the US Olympic swimming team. Paula and Lindsay are both over 30.

And – they are all moms. While many of us juggle between job and kids, these women have to juggle between demanding physical training and kids. That’s the way to go nowadays. No problem.

But let’s go back 60 years and 15 Olympic Games ago in London in 1948 – to the woman who paved the way – Francina Blankers-Koen. This Dutch athlete, better known as “Fanny” had a lot stacked against her. She had to live through the second World War, a time when food was scarce, therefore extra hard for athletes in training. She was a woman at a time when sporting bodies were exclusively male who simply tolerated female athletes. She was 30 years old, a very ripe age in field and track athletics. And – she had two young children during an era when a mother’s place should be at her children’s side and nowhere else. Something that helped through was her determination to succeed and the support of her husband-coach.

War, food shortage, pregnancies, 2 small children – these were not the best ingredients for an athlete’s training. Remember, this was a time when athletes were not allowed to do endorsements or accept any kind of commercial support. While Fanny trained on the track, her kids played in the high-jump area – a perfect sandpit! – according to the Independent. For her unconventional parenting style, Fanny got lots of hate mail – plus the fact that she wore short trousers while training.

Fanny went on to win 4 gold medals in the 1948 London Olympics. She could have won more if not for the Olympic rule at that time than women were limited to competing in 3 individual events only. Public opinion was divided – admiration for her feats and condemnation for shirking on her motherly duties – her youngest was 2 years old during the London games. To show this rather grudging appreciation of her achievements, she was dubbed by the international media as “The Flying Housewife“, “flying” for her athletic prowess and “housewife” to put her in her place.

What even made her story remarkable is the birth of her 3^rd child in 1949 just a few months after she came home victorious from London. She was actually in the very stages of pregnancy during the competition, according to the Independent . Whether she knew about her condition was not clear. At any rate, had her condition been known by the sports authorities, she wouldn’t have been allowed to compete.

Fanny went on to compete in the 1952 Helsinki Olympics. In her time, she set 16 world records in 8 different disciplines. The crowning glory to her amazing athletic career was being voted as the “Female Athlete of the 20th Century” by the International Association of Athletics Federations in 1999.

Note: I have no statistical or empirical evidence to back up the hypothesis I am about to propose. It is merely based on my own observations and experiences. Any extrapolation on this matter should be done purely for entertainment value.

When we first told my father that we were reasonably certain the baby my wife is carrying is a boy, he did not have as significant a reaction as I had expected, given the amount of pressure he put on me to “carry on the name”. However, later that weekend, he did say, in passing, “Well, now that you have a boy, you won’t have any more kids, eh?”

And while I wanted to be indignant, and reply with more than a little bit of frustration that we would be happy with either gender, I didn’t. I said nothing because deep down, I knew that the fact that this baby was a boy made me less inclined to try for a third than if we knew it was going to be a girl. For a few weeks after that, I felt pretty badly for how I felt: that somehow having two girls wasn’t enough for me.

But then I started thinking, and I realized something: in all of the families I knew that had more than two kids, the two oldest were both of the same gender. For everyone I knew, two boys or two girls was not enough.

I need to gather more evidence, certainly. So, this is where you, dear readers, come in. Do you have evidence to support my theory that people with “one of each” are significantly less likely to have a third? What are the genders of the two oldest children in families with three or more kids? Please give your answers in the comments.

“When it comes to math, boys are better than girls.” Now, how many times have we heard this before? Stereotypes? Maybe? But then it gets to the point when we believe it.

For example, this belief has been used to explain why there are very few female mathematicians, engineers and physicists reaching high career levels.

Researcher at the University of Wisconsin – Madison have just announced some study findings that will make a lot of girls feel vindicated.

They looked at SAT results and math scores of over 7 million US students who were tested according to the No Child Left Behind Act. And the results are clear – girls measured up to boys when it comes to solving mathematical problems.

The researchers are sending out the message to teachers and parents alike that this type of stereotyping can be influential in a girl’s math self-concept. They move on to mention that girls actually take just as many advanced math courses in high school as boys. In addition, 48% of all bachelor’s degrees in mathematics are earned by women.

So why the lack of high level female mathematicians and physicists in universities? Maybe it’s about time they check their employment policies…

Source:

University of Wisconsin – Madison News 24 July 2008

In the 1950s and 1960s, San Francisco bay was heavily polluted with PCBs, a banned group of chemicals once widely used in many industrial products.

PCBs are known to have adverse effects on immune, reproductive, and nervous systems. They cause liver damage, skin problems, and brain damage at high levels. The chemicals are also very persistent, remaining in the body for many years. When waterways are contaminated with PCBs, the chemicals are absorbed by the fish, animals and insects that live in the river or ocean, and if the fish are caught for food, PCBs end up in our bodies, where they can stay for many years.

PCBs were banned in America in the 1970s, as their toxicity was recognized, but they still persist in the environment today, partly due to inadequate disposal of waste products containing PCBs, and partly from contamination and spills, like in San Francisco.

Mothers who were pregnant and exposed to PCBs in San Francisco in the 50s and 60s were much more likely to have female children. Researchers speculate that the PCBs made the loss of a male embryo more likely, or affected the mother’s eggs somehow, so they were less likely to be fertilized by a male sperm.

The moms were 33% less likely to have a boy than a girl. In other words – 67 boys born for every 100 girls.

PCBs are found in significant quantities in breast milk, and most of an infant’s exposure to PCBs comes from breast milk.

As we are told to eat more fish for our health, and breastfeed for our own and our babies health, it’s disheartening to know that both those things increase potential exposure to PCBs.

AS PCBs have been banned for decades, PCBs in the water are decreasing gradually, and for most mothers, breastfeeding is still the most healthy option, unless you know you have been exposed to PCBs or live in a contaminated area.

Fish can still be on the menu too: some fish have much lower levels of pollutants than others. Here’s a list of fish to eat, and fish to avoid.

Source: Medical News Today

A recent study by American and Argentinian researchers claim that the protective properties of breast milk against respiratory infections works better for baby girls than for baby boys.

The researchers studied 119 babies born with very low birth weights. These babies have a higher risk to develop severe respiratory infections than babies born with normal weight. The study compared the incidence of severe acute lung disease between male and female infants and between breastfed and formula-fed infants.

The results show that breastfeeding significantly decreased the risk of acute lung disease in baby girls but not in baby boys. Formula-fed baby girls showed the highest risk profile, with an 8-times higher risk for respiratory disease.

As such, breastfeeding did not decrease the rate of infections, but rather the severity of the disease and rate of hospitalization.

It has always been previously thought that the transfer of natural immunity from mother to child through breast milk is universal and not dependent on gender. This study shows that there is a gender disparity when it comes to breast milk protection.

Other lessons learned from the study are:

• Breast milk does not prevent babies from catching the disease but helps babies to fight the infection successfully.
• Baby girls who are formula-fed have the highest risk to get lung infection.

Despite the gender differences revealed in this study, breast milk is still the best food for babies, regardless of gender. And regardless of what they say about vitamin D deficiency.

Sources:

PEDIATRICS Vol. 121 No. 6 June 2008, pp. e1510-e1516

HealthDay News, 2 June 2008

There is just no way round it when they are small. We take our babies and toddlers -regardless of their gender – to the bathroom of our choice depending on our gender. Most of the time it’s at the Ladies’ where the changing tables usually are. But as the toddlers become kids, and gender issues kick in, things can become a bit confusing, even embarrassing when the kid’s gender does not match that of the parent he/she is with.

Taking little boys to the Ladies’

I had 2 twin baby boys who went with me to the Ladies’ all the time. As they grew older, they could also go with their Dad to the Men’s. And of course, the questions had to come. What’s the difference? I left it to the man to talk to his little men about the facts of life. Now they’ve reached the age – at 5 – when they feel they don’t belong in a ladies’ room anymore. And they resent it now when they have to go just because Mommy has to.

Taking Mommy to the Men’s

This happened for the first time when my twin boys were 3, and just barely out of their nappies. They simply and urgently had to go. And McDonalds at Frankfurt main train station was the place to go. Except that there were 10 or more ladies lined up in front of us. No choice. They had to go to the men’s room. With me. Their Mommy. The men inside were quite startled at my entrance but understood when they saw the boys. As you can imagine, this had to happen a couple of times. And it’s not fun for Mommy.

Taking Daddy to the Ladies’

I take my boys to swimming classes once a week. But then one day Dad had to take over. The boys, eager to show their Dad a place unfamiliar to him, sprinted straight towards the ladies’ changing room, with their Dad at their heels. You can imagine the ladies’ indignation and my husband’s embarrassment.

Are they old enough to go on their own?

At age 5, my boys reached the stage when they can go to the Men’s on their own, as long as Mommy stands guard outside the door. And men going in and out would always stare at me curiously. There are still times when somebody shouts “Mommy!” from within and I had to go inside to the rescue.

A friend of mine, with a boy of about the same age, is a bit more prudent than I am. She has this thing about paedophilia and she’s never let her boy go to the bathroom alone. I always make my boys go together so they can watch out for each other.

I still take my boys to the Ladies’ changing room at the pool though. I feel that some ladies are not so comfortable about having such “big” boys around. I can understand this. At 5, they are getting more aware of gender issues. However, I don’t think they are old enough to be in a pool’s changing room by themselves. There are pools though with family dressing rooms. This makes life easier, especially if Daddy comes along and we only have a single sports bag for all our things.

I suppose that with regards to the bathroom/changing room issues, life is simpler for moms with little girls but then it’s complicated for their dads. And for those with multiple kids of different genders, how do you manage at all?

When I was just a teenager, my father informed me of a fact that I still carry with me to this day: since he was the only one of his siblings to immigrate to Canada from Italy, and that I am his only son (I have two sisters), that it was my responsibility to have a son so that my surname continued on in Canada. It wasn’t explicitly stated, but it was certainly implied that the lack of a son would be tantamount to failure.

Thanks, Dad. No pressure or anything. It’s not like I was, what, 17 and had yet to choose a vocation, let alone a mate.

Nine years later, I met the woman who would become my wife. Three years after that, she became my wife. A year later, we were pregnant with our first child.

When people asked if we were finding out “what it was”, I would always reply that we had it on good authority that it was human, but we were keeping an open mind, just so, you know, we didn’t “get our hopes up”. Those with less social graces would subsequently ask, “Well, what do you really want?” If my wife wasn’t around, I’d say something along the lines of, “For the world to open up and swallow one of us, preferably you, whole, and therefore end this conversation.” If she was around, I’d say the defacto, “Oh, I just want the baby to be healthy.”

Liar. I wanted the baby to be healthy and happy and cute and smart and witty and talented and brilliant and well behaved and able to sleep through the night and certainly not a little $%#! like that pain in the rear kid across the street who kept messing up my lawn.

And I wanted a boy. Or so I thought.

Deep down, I wasn’t sure what gender I preferred. I mean, logically, I should have a preference, right? And since there’s only two choices, it should be pretty easy for me, right? Wrong. You see, while one part of me, the part who felt duty bound to carry on the family name, wanted a boy, the rest of me was pretty sure that was a result that would end in disaster because historically I have never gotten along with men as well as I have with women. My best friends? Women. My closest confidants? Women. So there I was, paralyzed by my inability to resolve my (completely irrelevant) preference. I stressed about this for months leading up to the birth.

Ultimately, my wife gave birth to a little girl. An amazing little girl who got the best from both of us: she has her mother’s nurturing spirit (not to mention good looks… this child is a mini-me, seriously) and her father’s analytical mind (and thankfully not his facial hair). She is remarkable in every way, and I cannot imagine a world where she isn’t a she.

Having a daughter meant I didn’t have to address my fear of being able to raise and relate to a son. Since then, I’ve adjusted to the possibility of raising a boy. I have realized that just because I don’t necessarily relate well to most men doesn’t mean I won’t relate to this boy. In fact, having a boy would offer me the opportunity to do it differently than my father did it, and potentially raising a man who is comfortable with both genders.

Which brings us to our baby in progress, whose gender is still a mystery to us all (well technically not all of us… presumably the baby knows whether there’s indoor or outdoor plumbing). We are scheduled for an ultrasound in the middle of May, and hope to find out the gender to better prepare our daughter for what is coming. To be completely honest, I’m having the same struggles this time: on the one hand, having a boy would mean we have “one of each”, but having a girl means my little girl would have a sister, and from what I’ve been told, sisters have a special bond. And truth be told, I still feel pressure from my father to provide a namesake.

Realistically, what I “want” doesn’t make a difference; that decision was made months ago in my wife’s uterus. So why am I obsessing over it? I don’t know. It’s not like I will love this child any less if it is one gender or the other (but so help me, if that child becomes a Packers fan…), or that I will feel sad because of what I think is missing. I guess, deep down, all I want is for this baby to be healthy (and preferably human).

What are your thoughts about gender? If you are currently pregnant, do you prefer one over the other? If you have children already, did you get your “first choice”? How did you react? Has your opinion changed since having your child?

I first heard this “myth” from my midwife while expecting one of my children. The heart rate was 155 beats per minute and she accurately predicted I was having a female child.

Being the curious type, I asked her for more information. If the heart rate is over 145 beats per minute she said, it most almost always indicated a girl. If it was under 145 beats per minute, it was a boy. You don’t say! It seemed a little crazy to me, but you know, this method did accurately predict the sexes of my children, and also my sister’s child.

For my girls, they all had heartbeats of over 150 beats per minute in utero. My son had a heartbeat of 130 beats per minute or around there most of the time. I say most of the time, because his heart rate(just like his sister’s heart rates) did increase with age. Therefore, I’d say from my experience, that the early heart rates should be used as a predictor if you are interested in trying out this method.

Of course, you won’t really know with 100% certainty until after the birth of you child, so it’s best to NOT get your hopes up. I’ve known people who really desired one gender over the other and were crushed when they discovered that the child they were carrying may not be the gender they wanted.

My sister has two children and was hoping for a male child with each pregnancy. As we were both pregnant at the same time with our 2nd and 5th children respectively, we decided to have some fun and try to figure out the gender of our unborn babies using many of the old wive’s tales we had heard during our childhood. Her child had a heartbeat of 160 beats per minute–a girl–according to this myth. My child had a heartbeat of 130 beats per minute–a boy. It should be noted that as they aged, her child’s heartbeat dropped, and my child’s heartbeat increased. She refused to accept anything other than the reality of a male child, and this caused her great stress and anxiety during her pregnancy.

Our children were born one month and one day apart last year. Her child was a girl and my child was a boy. I joke with her that it took me four girls to get that boy (truly, I didn’t have five children for that reason I assure you) and she should keep trying! She was not amused.

Have you ever used this method to determine if your baby was a boy or a girl? Did it work for you?

last week, we covered the recent studies from UK universities that claim diet affects babies gender. In a nutshell, the studies report that high-calorie diets seemed to produce boys, and lower calorie diets produce girls.

Louise Silverton, Deputy General Secretary of The Royal College of Midwives in the United Kingdom, warns women trying to conceive that altering their diet can have serious consequences. It’s long been known that the diet of mothers before and during pregnancy has long-term effects on their health, and the health of their baby. In particular, midwives are concerned that mothers might reduce the nutrients in their diet to try to conceive girls, or overeat unhealthy foods to try to conceive a boy.

There’s no way to guarantee a boy or a girl, except having a “boy” or a “girl” sperm chosen during IVF, which is illegal in many countries except for avoiding gender-dependent diseases.

You can increase your odds of getting a boy or a girl with methods like the Shettles method, the theory involves timing intercourse relative to ovulation. There’s a whole book devoted to the theory, which is based on sound scientific reasoning. But again, it’s no guarantee of a girl or a boy, just an increase in the odds of getting the gender you want.

Getting your man to wear very tight underpants is also reputed to increase the chance of a girl. Extra-tighty whities mean less sperm, and men with low sperm counts tend to father girls. But your husband or boyfriend may veto this idea!

So the bottom line is, without medical intervention, you can’t guarantee a boy or a girl. So don’t follow some weird diet to try to get one or the other. I was very anti-boy before I got pregnant, and guess what – my baby was a boy. I knew I needed to deal with the fact I could be having a girl, and every mom needs to be open to having a girl or a boy as early as possible. Here’s how I got my head around having the “wrong” gender.

• Midwives Concerned At New Diet And Baby Gender Research, UK

During each of my many pregnancies, I spent a great time checking out gender prediction methods. Actually, more than not, many people were happy to offer their tried and true methods of prediction to me, especially when they found out I was pregnant again after having 4 girls.

Would our next child be male or female? Drum roll please.

I stumbled across a Chinese Birth Chart while researching online one day. According to the website, the chart was “ancient Chinese knowledge” hidden in a tomb for over 700 years and was now on display at the Institute of Science in Beijing. For entertainment purposes only, the website authors were displaying the chart online. I was intrigued, but cautious, and so I showed my husband.

Dear Husband has a degree in science and he called it a statistics chart. Nothing more, nothing less. There was nothing magical about it he claimed. Nevertheless, he agreed that there very well may be some validity to the chart.

Would the “statistics chart” be accurate? I checked my prior pregnancies with the chart information and astoundingly, the chart was right. I checked each of my sister’s information against the chart information and again, it was correct. Then, just for the thrill of it, I called my sister, who was expecting at the time and due to have an ultrasound in a few days. We worked out her information and according to the chart, she was having a girl. The ultrasound confirmed the chart’s prediction at her ultrasound.

All of this intrigued me. Was I carrying a boy or a girl? Could I stand to know? Suppose the chart said it was a boy and then I had a girl? After 4 girls, would it be fair to get my hopes up for that son of which my husband and I were dreaming?

My husband and I sat down one night and checked the chart which told us we were having a boy. Now what? After years of buying pink, glitter, and lace, did we dare trust the chart? Should we tell people that “the Chinese chart” said it was a boy? Would they believe us?

A few months later, we had an ultrsound due to difficulties I was having with the pregnancy. The technician asked me if I wanted to know the sex of our baby as it was quite obvious. Did I want to know? Yes, yes I did.

Our child was a boy. A healthy boy.

I cried the whole way home! Firstly, because I was relieved that our child was all right. Secondly because IT WAS A BOY! After four girls, I was going to have a boy!

You would think that my relatives would have been happy for us when we told them. Sadly, not one of them(save my husband’s mother) believed us, the ultra sound, or the Chinese birth chart. Instead, they felt that I was one of those women who was just going to have girls and had sadly convinced myself that I was having a male child to make myself feel better about the whole thing. For the baby shower that happened shortly after our ultrasound, most folks bought yellow and green. Some bought us blue, just in case. I began to have my doubts at this time and wondered if the technician had made a mistake or if the chart had been a phony too. Who to believe?

When our child was born, I didn’t take the doctor’s word for it, or my husband’s word–I wanted to see! My eyes confirmed that the chart and the ultrasound technician were right. It was a boy.

I’d encourage all expectant women to try the Chinese birth chart with a few caveat warnings. I have known one woman who did have a child with a sex opposite than what the chart predicted. Therefore, I’d encourage parents who opt to use the information to do so with an open mind and realize that it might not predict the gender of your child. I’d also caution expectant mother’s to use the chart correctly. You must use your age when you will give birth, and the month you conceived to determine results. It can be a little confusing as many times, your age when the baby is born will be different than your age when the child was conceived. Also, you might not know exactly when the child was conceived! Let’s see….was it LATE June or EARLY July?

Whatever your results, I wish you happy charting!

When it comes to mortality rates among newborn babies, it seems that gender has a lot to do with it.

A recent study shows that baby boys are more likely to die than baby girls in industrialized countries like Europe, Canada, the United States, Japan and Australia. In 1970s, boys had about a 30 percent higher chance than girls to die before they reach their 1st birthday. Recently, however, the gap has narrowed down to 20 percent. This improvement in survival rates is most likely due to medical practices that helped more infant boys survive, including more Cesarean sections and intensive care units for premature babies.

So why are baby boys at a disadvantage compared to girls?

? Boys have 60 percent more likelihood than girls to be born prematurely.
? Boys have higher chances of having neonatal respiratory distress syndrome, a condition that makes it difficult for a baby to breathe. This syndrome can occur in premature babies whose lungs have not yet fully developed.
? Boys also face a higher risk of injury and death during term delivery because they tend to have larger bodies and bigger heads

Reading this report and the statistics therein made me realize how lucky I am. My twin boys were born prematurely and spent 2 weeks in a neonatal station for low birth weights and respiratory problems. It seems like a miracle that they are now very healthy almost 5-year olds?

Sources:

MSNBC 24 March 2008Drevenstedt et al. The rise and fall of excess male infant mortality. Proceedings National Academy of Sciences April 1, 2008 vol. 105(13)5016-5021.