I came across an interesting quiz this morning from Dream Box, the same company I reviewed not too long ago for their online math games.  I liked the games they offered online, so I figured the parenting style quiz might be fun to take.

The quiz is designed for parents of school-aged kids, but it wasn’t difficult to apply the questions to scenarios I encounter with my young children.  The quiz asked a series of questions about what I would do in certain instances.  If my child wanted a puppy, what would I say? If my child wanted to try out for a very competitive team, how would I react? I couldn’t help but laugh at one question that asked me what I would do if my child wanted to leave the house wearing a mismatched outfit; you would know why I was laughing if you saw what my daughter left the house wearing on her way to preschool this morning.  I try not to stifle her creativity, but I really wish I had a shirt for me that said something along the lines of My Kids Dress Themselves.

So I took the quiz and apparently I’m a “Mentor.”  That means that I try to prepare my kids for lifelong learning.  That sounds about right, but then to make things a little more interesting I retook the quiz and answered the questions with the opposite of what I would do.  It turns out that I am not a “Historian” parent, or one who refers to life experiences as a way to discipline.

I think there is a larger lesson here.  There’s no concrete way to have the perfect parenting style.  A lot depends on the parents, the kids and the circumstances.  I don’t think there is any combination of answers that would have made the quiz results say something along the lines of, “Wow, you really are a horrible parent!” Maybe I’m a Mentor and maybe you’re a Historian, but the fact remains that we love our kids madly and that’s the most important thing.

Go to this link if you want to take the quiz, Dream Box Learning Quiz.

I read a lot of books about child development and research pertaining to effective parenting.  Sometimes I run across conflicting information and sometimes it seems like I’m reading the same thing over and over again.  So when I picked up a copy of Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall’s Guide to Pirate Parenting I didn’t quite know what to expect.  I didn’t know whether to brace myself for some really bizarre ideas that were based on some scientific research or if instead I was going to have a good laugh at the humor contained within.

Luckily for me, the book is intended as a comedic, tongue-in-cheek instructional manual for raising kids as pirates.   I was really glad to find this out because I really didn’t think I could handle sifting through 117 pages of pirate parenting that was meant to be taken seriously.

This book made me laugh.  I read the bulk of it at the gym while on the elliptical machine and the other people around me kept peering at the cover to see what book was making me laugh out loud.  Here is the first line that made me laugh out loud and also reassured me that this would indeed be a fun read:

Without going into a textbook lecture about genetics, all you need to know is that the “Y” in “Y chromosome is short for “Why don’t we raise our kids as pirates, honey?”

This isn’t a book you should buy if you are still in the phase of being hungry for all the (serious) parenting advice that you can get your hands on.  If this is the stage of life that you are in then you will probably make it through the first couple of chapters before tossing it aside and grabbing a parenting book written by some expert who probably doesn’t know a thing about pirates or humor.  If, on the other hand, you’ve read your fair share of serious parenting books and you’re ready to get some chuckles out of a read, then this is a great book.

After all, where else can you read parenting advice like this gem:

Your son may not obey you when you say, “Stop fighting with your sister,” but he’ll listen when you bellow, “Avast ye scurvy dog or I’ll give ye a taste of me hook!”

I think I’m going to try that the next time my son is fighting with my daughter.

My friend Melissa, I mean Boobie Chickendoodle, sent this to me in an email.  When I discovered that my new name was Snickle Rhinonose, I laughed out loud.  For the next ten minutes I renamed everyone I knew, and then decided to share with you.  I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

The following is excerpted from a children’s book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dav Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

What’s your new name?

Children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. I hope this helped you exceed your quota

- Your Friend,

Snickle

Let’s face it; we all want to expose our kids to interesting experiences so they can have some great memories.  We want to snap the perfect picture and show off what a fun time our kids have.  I think  that most new parents spend an awful lot of time looking for great places to take their kids in order to build up experiences for their babies and toddlers.  I know I was guilty of this – and still am to this day – just because I want my kids to see the world around them and to always see new things.

The problem is when parents get so frantic and determined about getting a great photo or exposing their kids to something interesting and different that they forget the reality of the situation.  I have a great example of this that I witnessed the other day.

Our city has one of the best zoos in the nation, so I take my kids there often.  It’s especially nice to walk through the jungle area during these cold winter months because we can shed our heavy coats and wander through a really good replica of various jungles throughout the globe.  One of the best things about the jungle at our zoo is the fact that some of the animals roam around relatively free; the zoo apparently knows how to keep certain animals back from the public using ponds and barriers, so it’s a really interactive experience that even the youngest kids can enjoy.

When we were there the other day we walked past a set of branches that had a monkey-type animal perched on top.  I’ve walked through this jungle about a million times with my kids so I knew right away that this wasn’t quite right.  Apparently the animal got past the barriers and found the walkway for visitors.  I immediately grabbed my kids and pulled them back, but a dad from the family behind us got all excited and shoved his young son up next to the animal.

First his son recoiled, then the dad pulled him back in front of the animal.  Then the animal swiped at his son, the son jumped away, and the dad actually pushed his son back so he could get a photo.  At this point we were scurrying away to make sure my kids didn’t get some bizarre primate injury that would be really hard to explain to the emergency room staff, but I was still amazed that this dad was so concerned about getting a picture of his son with the animal that he completely disregarded the obvious threat the animal posed.

I’m assuming the kid came out of it all okay because it seems to me a kid injured by a wayward zoo animal would make the news.

I think that sometimes parents get so excited at the prospect of getting a perfect picture or having the perfect experience that they might totally miss the bigger picture.  I would hope that I would never put my kids in harm’s way in an attempt to get a fantastic photo, but I can see how people can easily get carried away.

Need some ideas for activities with your little ones this weekend? If you’ve already done them, they’re so much fun, they bear repeating!

1. Set up an inflatable pool in your backyard and have the kids wade around in it (with supervision, of course). Get beach paraphernalia, like buckets, scoops, etc., or other water toys and watch them splash around with glee.
2. Visit a children’s museum, they’re usually either free or have a nominal fee. Children’s museums are usually hands-on, and interactive, so you won’t be spending your time telling your toddler “No, don’t touch that!”.
3. Take a hike in the woods. Strap your baby in a baby carrier, and toddler in dad’s back carrier and enjoy what nature has to offer.
4. Check your library for story time and bring the kids. This is best for toddlers and preschoolers. Baby would probably be fussy so time it right when they are napping in a stroller or carrier, or have just woken up, diapered, eaten and in a good mood.
5. Buy a bottle of bubbles or make your own (I used to make my own when I was younger) and blow bubbles in the backyard, or in the park.

Got any other ideas? Share them here!

Remember how you couldn’t sleep Christmas Eve? The excitement and curiosity was almost too much. Dawn would barely crack before you were hitting the stairs at top speed, rushing to surprises wrapped in bows and colors.

I watched a home video of my niece and nephews this Christmas morning. My sister had to wake the kids up. That’s right, she woke the four year-old and sent him to see his brand new bike. He blinked, stared and looked back at her like…ok, cool. Then the four year-old woke the 10 year-old. There was at least a 5 minute lag time between the wake up call to Christmas and the kid appearing. My niece was faster, but not by much.

Wow.

Each child had a brand new bike, stocking stuffers and presents under the tree. They also had $3.99 pillows. They hugged the pillows. The 10 year-old said the pillow was on par with the bike. The 9 year-old wasn’t sure. It was painful to watch. My sister and her husband was more excited than the kids.

I tried to give it a positive spin – they are so content, they don’t need much. But I’m still baffled – sleep through Christmas?!

To the kids defense, they are much more excited seeing family members and that’s what the day is really about. Maybe they’ve got it right – get excited about the people, not the stuff.

What’s your favorite Christmas memory?

It’s 7p.m here in Ohio and my Christmas is coming to a close. My family has partied to the point that 7p.m. feels like 3a.m.!

We celebrated Christmas early in our own home in Columbus because we were going to my family’s home on Christmas Eve for the big family gift exchange. Then it was family breakfast Christmas morning at my sister’s. So for the amusements of all -

Our Christmas:

12 – Dirty Diapers

11 – Moms a Milkin’

10 – Jokes a’ Crackin’

9 – Bags of trash

8 – Children running

7 – Gallons of juice

6 – Dozen Belgian Waffles

5 – “Where’s my _____?”

4 – Pieces of cake

3 – Christmas Celebrations

2 – Hours of Sleep

And A Partridge in a Pear Tree (with icing on him – how did that get there?)

Merry Christmas to All!!!