Because baby girls are gorgeous without any jewelry. Because I think it’s something that is a permanent alteration and is something that your daughter should be able to decide to do for herself. Because it could even be dangerous.

I’m not anti-piercing, I have 8 in my ears and a stud in my tongue. But I had every one of them done because I wanted to.

I had my ears pierced for the first time when I was about 8. My mom, my sister and me had a “girls day out” to have it done. My sister and I both picked out the earrings we wanted, and got our ears pierced together. Then, I think, we went for ice cream. Very corny, I know. But it’s a nice childhood memory.

I know a five-year-old who’s ears were pierced as a toddler and while she loves wearing earrings, she’s a little sad that it wasn’t something she chose to do. I got a new piercing last week and she wanted to get one too. It seems like she wanted to have been involved in the decision to have her earlobes pierced.

I’ve heard moms say they get their daughter’s ears pierced to make them look more feminine. Strangers tell moms of girls that their son is adorable all the time. Strangers told me what a pretty girl my baby son was all the time too, it’s a little grating but ultimately not something to be upset by. Actually it’s quite hard to tell small babies apart. But if you don’t like strangers thinking your baby is a boy, isn’t that what pink outfits, dresses, hair bows and barrettes are for?

Piercing, while fairly safe, does have risks like infection and allergic reactions. If you have to have your baby’s ears pierced, wait until she is at least 3 months old and better able to deal with any possible complications. And have the piercing done hygienically at your doctor’s office. Not the mall. Why? Here’s a video of a typical mall ear piercing. How unhygienic does this look! First a superficial cleaning. The women doing the piercing aren’t wearing gloves, and goodness knows what kind of germs and dirt are lurking under the first woman’s nails? It makes my skin crawl. At least your doctor will use sterile equipment.

The American Association of Pediatricians recommends “postpone the piercing until your child is mature enough to take care of the pierced site herself.” Then you can treat yourself, and your daughter to a mom-and-daughter day out and have her ears pierced done then, and make a memory for you to share.

Parents’ approach toward jewelry and babies can differ quite dramatically around the globe. I found this out when I shared my own baby girl’s ear piercing story. See getting ears pierced in many cultures, including mine, is quite accepted, and even expected. The same thing may be frowned upon by other cultures, especially in Western Europe. So on one hand many Europe-based friends shared with me their European husbands’ horror at the thought of their little babies’ ears getting pierced. On the other hand most Latin cultures share the no-big deal attitude to getting baby’s ears pierced.

In many Southeast cultures, you’ll see babies, even male ones, with bracelets around their wrist. Some are made of jade, for good luck or traditional reasons. Some are made of beads, in red or black. There is a superstition behind the second set of bracelets. It is supposed to catch the eye of strangers or family members who take notice of the baby. Any bad vibes or bad spirits that they may be carrying would then be deflected by the bracelet and baby will not get sick.

Sometimes jewelry on a baby is meant to announce a family’s status. Gold bracelets or necklaces are meant to show that the family can afford such a luxury and is therefore wealthy (whether they really are or not). Most of the time though, jewelry is just a tradition to convey affection (necklaces are heirlooms passed down from generation to generation), good luck, or worn for superstitious reasons.

Whatever the reasoning towards babies being adorned with jewelry or not, it matters very little, if you think about it. What matters is that parents love and cherish their children, and raise them to be caring and kind individuals, among many other things

More on Parenting Around The World series: Italy’s Peanut Butter.

This past Saturday we took our 6 month-old daughter to a local accessories store to get her ears pierced, a milestone for anyone with a little girl. We held her still as the multiple-tattooed and multiple-pierced associate ensured that the marks on her lobe were perfectly aligned. We digested her observation that our daughter’s lobes are actually not symmetrical; one is bigger than the other. We held our breaths as the piercing gun went off silently, but in our imagination was as loud as revolver. And then I cuddled her as she cried then found her thumb and sucked happily.

Why did we decide to get her ears pierced now

as opposed to later when she is older? We did it partly so that she’ll just have it over with, and won’t remember the pain. Partly because of tradition. In our family, girls ears are pierced as babies, and it’s no big deal. And partly so that people would stop asking me constantly whether she is a boy or a girl.

There’s of course another school of thought on this subject

which is that piercing is an unnecessary body mutilation and should be the child’s choice. There’s also the rite of passage method where parents build anticipation in the child. They may require the child to save up for the occasion, and allow them to pierce it on a milestone birthday.  I think each way is fine as long as the parents take great care in choosing the place that pierces your child’s delicate ears.

Some things to consider

Make sure the company you select to pierce your baby’s ears uses sterilized products, and sealed, sterilized earrings. Your pediatrician may even do this for you so do ask them. Make sure to pick the tiniest post available; they can get as small as 2 mm in diameter. And most important of all, make sure that the piercings are sterilized at least three times a day, and the studs not removed until six weeks after the piercing. Post earrings must be worn six months after the piercing to ensure it will not close.

As for our daughter, we carried her around proudly in the mall afterwards, showing off her peridot studs. Until, that is, a gentleman approached us and admiringly said: “What a beautiful boy!”

Hmmp.