Whether it’s the pediatrician’s office or any other appointment, at some point, you will be stuck in a waiting room with your baby. Here’s how to make it less stressful for the both of you.

Go Early

By getting the first appointment, you’re less likely to have to wait very long. Mid-day or late-day appointment, on the other hand, are usually the least on-time. You’ll be waiting for doctors and nurses running late, other patients’ tardiness or too many appointments scheduled in the day.

Be prompt

Show up early for your appointment – yes, it might mean waiting a little longer, but it’s better than being late and possibly missing your appointment time. In addition, if your child is a new patient, there may be paperwork to fill out prior to seeing the doctor.

Pack Extra

Pack two (or more) of everything. The rule of thumb in our house is to pack twice as much as we think we will need. If you think just one bottle will be enough, take two. Bring enough bottles of water and snacks for both the kids and you – you might be waiting a while and need them. In addition, bring plenty of diapers and wipes; infants and babies go through scads of diapers each day and you don’t ever want to be without a fresh one.

Bring a new toy

Skip the play area (they’re notorious germ pits — even, ironically, in doctors’ offices) and bring your own toys – preferably a new one that your child hasn’t seen before. If you don’t have anything on hand try giving them something they aren’t used to such as a pen (remove the ink cartridge of course), pieces of paper or a magazine, an Altoids tin. Just be sure the toy is age appropriate and does not pose a choking hazard or any other danger.

Bring patience

Most likely, you will have to wait for a few minutes. Be prepared to wait and the wait will go a little bit better. In fact, if you are prepared to wait, you might just be pleasantly surprised if you don’t have to wait very long!

I’m not a doctor.  I’ve never even visited a medical school before.  So why is it when I take one of my kids in to see the doctor for something that may merit antibiotics, suddenly I’m supposed to know the medically appropriate course of action?

The visit usually goes something like this:

Doctor:  Yep, your child does have an ear infection (or whatever the infection d’jour is).

Me:  Ah, yes, I figured as much.  So what should we do now?

Doctor:  Well…some doctors advise giving antibiotics at this point.

(Long pause.)

Me:  So what do you advise doing at this point?

Doctor:  Well, really, it’s up to you.  I can prescribe antibiotics if you would like.

Me:  Okay, but does my child need antibiotics for this infection?

Doctor:  It really depends on which doctor you talk to.

Am I the only mom who has ever dealt with this situation? I don’t know if the physicians my children visit have all been instructed to turn into Dr. Vague when the subject of antibiotics comes up, but sometimes I just want a trained medical professional to tell me what to do.

I know that antibiotics are a sore spot right now and that most medical professionals caution that they are being overused.  I get that.  I don’t want my child medicated unless it’s necessary, but on the other hand I don’t want to deny medical treatment to my child if it’s really needed to clear up the infection.

I have never once went into an appointment for my child and demanded antibiotics.  I have also never refused antibiotics if the doctor decides that it is the best treatment for the ailment.  I will tell you, though, that I have found that getting a definitive decision from a doctor with regards to antibiotics is getting harder and harder.  Usually I have to resort to asking, “If this was your child, would you prescribe antibiotics right now?”  Of course, this only works if the doctor has a child, but it’s a pretty effective way to get a straight answer.

First of all, this post can make you feel bad, even depressed. But it’s an important issue that some parents and parents-to-be might have to face. So if you are not up to some sad posts today, please don’t read this.

It’s every mother’s, every parent’s nightmare – a baby or a child who are so ill or so extremely premature that he or she has to be placed on life-support system. The decision whether to pull the plug is one of, if not the hardest to make.

A study by researchers at the Johns Hopkins Children’s Center explores some of the communication problems between healthcare providers and parents of children in making life-and-death decisions as the one described above.

26 mothers who went through the pain of losing a baby granted in-depth interviews 3 years after and revealed the following:

Many mothers felt that doctor-parents discussions were prone to misunderstandings.

• They felt that what they were told by doctors and what is recorded in the medical chart of the patient are often at odds. One mom, for example, reported being told that “nothing could be done” but the chart discussed several options.
• Very few could recall discussions about all the options which would range from “aggressive resuscitation to palliative care through the end of life.”
• If the options were ever discussed, they were not clearly explained. Many found the “doctors’ speak” vague and confusing.
• Most moms did not trust doctors who are detached and lacked empathy.

In a previous post, I reviewed a report about obstetricians getting traumatized during difficult and sometimes fatal birth outcomes. It seems that aside from not being able to handle the emotional burden of a patient’s death, some doctors also cannot seem to empathize with family members. The authors think that many doctors

• feel uncomfortable during such emotionally intense moments.
• have difficulty in delivering bad news clearly but compassionately.
• feel that showing too much empathy can give the parents ” a false sense of hope.”

There is clearly a gap between what the parents of the patients need and what the doctors are delivering. This gap can be bridged by proper training of the doctors as well as guidelines from the doctors’ association such as the American Academy of Pediatrics, the authors conclude.

A few months ago I wrote about my son’s ear tubes and how they really were great for him because he went from recurring ear infections to no infections like magic. I still endorse ear tubes, but now I have a warning for parents who are considering letting their babies get tubes like my son did.

At my son’s last annual follow-up with his Ear, Nose & Throat Specialist the doctor told me that even though the tubes appeared as though they had fallen out, one was still in there and was causing problems. She urged me to schedule surgery so she could go in there are remove the tube and put a little healing patch on the spot that wasn’t healing as planned.

Wait a minute…I thought we were done with surgeries?

Apparently not all tubes fall out on their own. Even more maddening was the fact that after my son was wheeled away into surgery to have the tube removed – and I was sitting in the room freaked out like any parent would be – the doctor walked in and told me there was more damage than she initially thought and she wanted to graft some skin from the back of my son’s ear to implant onto the damaged area.

So just to be clear, my son is already knocked out on anesthesia, I’m already freaked out, and this lady is telling me she wants to slice up the skin behind my son’s ear.

I told her to go ahead and do it, but I probably would have agreed to just about anything at that point because I didn’t want to debate with her while he was sprawled out on an operating table.

That was almost a week ago and he seems to be recovering quite nicely. He doesn’t complain of any pain and the stitches appear to be healing. I was just taken by surprise that all this came about after the doctor had originally assured us that tubes are no big deal and all that jazz. I still endorse tubes wholeheartedly, but just be sure that you know what you might be getting your baby into with these things.

I don’t leave my kids with a babysitter all that often, but when I do I want to make sure that all the bases are covered while I’m gone. I always write out a long list of instructions fort our sitter (she’s probably tired of reading it but thankfully she humors me every time) and I’ll always have a talk with my oldest child about what the night will entail.

What am I missing? No, I’m not going to go out and buy a nannycam. What I should do to make sure all my bases are covered is to write up a medical Consent to Treat form and give a copy to the babysitter. What this form does is it gives her the legal authority to take my kids to the hospital if necessary and to give permission to treat them if necessary.

I did some research on these forms and from what I gather it’s standard practice to always treat a child for life-threatening injuries regardless of whether the doctor receives parental permission or not, but other injuries become a bit of a gray area. Doctors are so apprehensive about potential lawsuits that they may actually refuse to treat a child for a broken bone or some other non-life-threatening injury until they receive permission from a parent or legal guardian.

Having a Consent to Treat form alleviates this problem. The form says something to the effect of “I give full permission for <babysitter’s name> to seek medical treatment for my child in my absence.” Then you list your contact information and your child’s medication list, allergies, and anything else that may be of importance to the doctor.

I would rather have my sitter take my kids directly to the hospital in case of an injury instead of first spending precious time trying to track me down. How about you?

Having medicine prescribed for your baby can be a sticky situation. You want your baby to receive treatment for whatever the ailment is, but on the other hand you don’t want to expose your baby to any medications he may not need. Believe me, I know how it feels. Both of my children have been on allergy medicine (Zyrtec for one, D-Allergy for the other) since they were itty bitty babies.

I don’t like giving them medication unless they absolutely need it. I guess I’m always afraid that they’re injesting something they don’t even need, and all it takes is one story in a magazine about a baby dying from an accidental medicine overdose to really freak me out.

My son was on Prilosec for about a year. He first was prescribed this medicine when he was having issues with crispy-sounding breathing because the doctor decided my son had acid reflux. This medicine was a big pain. It had to be kept cold, the pharmacy needed plenty of advanced notice before we needed refills, and my son absolutely hated the taste. Half the time he didn’t even take the full dose because he spit most of it out.

I kept asking the doctor if we could try to lay off the Prilosec to see if he had maybe outgrown the ailment on his own, but she was apprehensive about it. At one point she even suggested that I should increase his dosage.

The funny thing was that my instincts were saying that he really didn’t need this medicine. Something inside me said that he was getting a medication that wasn’t doing a thing for him.

One day I made up my mind: I would wean him off the medication and watch him carefully. I did it with the reluctant blessing of my son’s doctor, but guess what? He did just fine without the medication. He didn’t need it after all. Of course, this doesn’t mean that he didn’t need it at some point, and maybe it was a good thing when he was younger, but I was very happy when we were able to say goodbye to that vile stuff forever.

Stay tuned as my doctor and I try to see if we can get the kids off allergy medicine too!

When a woman first realizes she is pregnant, there are the expected emotions of joy, excitement and anticipation. After the excitement wears down, however, she begins to realize that now comes the hard part, choosing a doctor. Some women have explicit preferences of whether they are more comfortable with a man or a woman OB/Gyn, others simply want to make sure that they see someone who is caring and sympathetic. Once you do find someone who is perceived to be the “perfect fit”, what happens when you spend more time with the doctor and realize that you are not totally comfortable with either the doctor or just the atmosphere of the practice in general? Is it acceptable to seek out another doctor, even when you are already 4 or 5 months along?

Luckily, I have not had to endure this problem, but know of many women who have and who have felt almost guilty for wanting to switch doctors mid-pregnancy. In doctor’s offices today, most pregnant women end up seeing the nurse practitioner more than the person who ends up officially delivering their child. So by the time they actually meet face-to-face with their doctor, they might already be 4 months along. At this point, prenatal testing might be offered and some women find that their views or beliefs might be contrary to the doctor’s views and beliefs regarding testing. Some women don’t feel comfortable expressing their views and consequently, become forced into tests that they don’t really want.

On a pregnancy message board that I frequent, one woman posted that she was offered the AFP (Alpha-Fet0protein) test, but just assumed that it was a mandatory test. When she questioned her primary doctor whether or not the test was necessary, the doctor said, “Well, you’re not being very smart if you elect not to take it.” Now, a comment of that nature has no place in a medical facility, especially with a test that is optional. The women is currently in the process of changing doctors to find someone who is a little more on her wavelength and who can understood her concerns without being judgmental.

Basically, if you are uncomfortable with your doctor, in any way, shape or form, then you should not feel guilty at all about looking for someone else who can meet your needs, whether that be at 3 months pregnant or 8 months. You are the patient and you deserve the best that the medical field can offer, without question.

According to the March of Dimes website, gaining the right amount of weight during pregnancy is an important part of creating a healthy baby. They state that women who don’t gain enough weight are at risk of delivering an underweight baby (5 lbs. or less), while on the other end of the spectrum, women that gain too much weight are at risk of not only delivering early, but creating health problems for themselves, such as high blood pressure and diabetes. While these statements are certainly true in most cases, what about those of us who are already small, have always been small and cannot possibly gain the recommended amount of 28-40 lbs. while pregnant?

I have always been a petite woman and, in fact, have never weighed over 100 lbs. My usual weight is around 94 lbs. and I have never had a problem of looking too skinny or emaciated, which has been a blessing. With my first pregnancy, I did gain quite a bit of weight (almost 30 lbs.), but a majority of that was water weight. In fact, after delivery, I immediately lost about 15 lbs. of that weight due to all the excess fluids that many times are present in a woman’s first pregnancy. With my second pregnancy, I didn’t gain near as much weight. Actually, it was only about 21 lbs. and I did not look or feel as bloated as I was with my first. Both my sons were born at healthy weights, around 6 lbs. 5 oz., and had no problems at delivery.

I am currently pregnant with my third child, and at 16 weeks have actually lost weight. This is the first pregnancy I have had where I’ve experienced the wonderful effects of nausea, firsthand. I feel almost embarrassed and ashamed to walk into the doctor’s office and have them see that I now weigh barely less than 90 lbs! Luckily, my appetite is slowly returning back to normal and I am sure that I will gain back the weight I have lost in no time.

Basically, every woman is different and they gain and lose weight differently while pregnant, as well. Though you may be concerned about your weight gain or loss, as long as the baby is shown to be healthy and thriving, then you should not place too much stock in what is considered “normal”. The amount of recommended weight gain is only a guideline and you, more than anybody else, know what is comfortable as you go through your pregnancy.