Please see the follow up to this story:  Britain’s Youngest Dad isn’t really the Dad

A 13-year old boy cuddled a tiny baby girl in Sussex, England yesterday. No, he is not Big Brother. He’s Daddy.

Alfie Patten is like any 13 year old boy says his own dad, Dennis. He likes his Playstation and his sports teams. Now, Dennis thinks maybe it’s time he taught the boy about the birds and the bees.

Hmm. Well, Dennis, maybe you shoulda’ thought of that a year ago.

OK. I’ll back up a little bit. I mean, Dennis doesn’t live with Alfie’s mom. So, maybe it isn’t his fault. I mean, he gives the boy a few bucks now and then. But he’s got 8 other kids to think about, too. So, it’s all on Mum’s shoulders. I don’t know much about her. Except that now the baby’s born, Alfie spends all his days, and most of his nights, at the girl’s house. She must be OK with that. On the one hand, it’s good he wants to be with the baby. On the other hand, why does he have a baby!?!

Poor kid. Everything they’ve quoted him saying is so sad. He is obviously trying to sound very grown up. But, wow. How could he? He thinks diapers cost “a lot”. And he “thought it would be good to have a baby.” “I will be good, though, and care for it.” How can he care for a baby? He’s still a baby!

His girlfriend, the mature 15-year old Chantelle Steadman, didn’t tell her mother she was pregnant. Mum guessed it after the girl started showing. Chantelle and the baby are now living with Chantelle’s parents. Her mom said it would be hard, since they are on public assistance and now are caring for 7 children. But they are a family and will help her out.

Alfie said they didn’t think about how they could afford a baby. Chantelle said that when she found out she was pregnant, she didn’t think she’d need her parents’ help. The two just knew they weren’t going to have an abortion. Today, Alfie claims they only had sex once and he didn’t know what could happen. Blame it on the teachers then, and Britain’s comprehensive sex-ed?

Uh, has anyone talked to them about adoption? I guess not. I mean, if you don’t tell your kids that having sex leads to babies, why tell them that someone else can raise the baby?

I am glad that this boy is so determined (as much as a 13 year old can be) to be a good dad. And the proud new mama is taking a parenting class at church.  But I’m afraid that 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne is the one who will suffer here. How can they possibly take care of a baby? I can barely take care of both my kids and myself some days.

I showed this story to my 12 year old son and asked him, “Ready for the big time?” He didn’t even know how to respond (which is a good response, I think). He was horrified. He has a baby sister and knows what it’s like. He gets a little nervous when I say I’m going to the mailbox and “can he keep an eye on her?”.

He is the one who noticed a secondary point in The Sun story. Britain’s youngest dad was 12. I just don’t have anything good to say about that.

Let’s be honest. Most of us are fascinated with twins. When I see a set in the store, I always want to look closely and see if they are identical. Some friends of mine have triplets. Two are identical twins and one is fraternal. I don’t know which captivates me more. Of course, I don’t want to stare, but maybe multiples get used to it? I don’t know.

Well, one set of twins in Britain now has double the reason to catch a second glance. Lauren and Hayleigh are fraternal twins, but looking at them, you may not think they were even related. Lauren is white; Hayleigh is black. Statistics vary, but Snopes.com says the odds of multiracial parents having two single-race twins are about 1 in a million. How likely are they to accomplish the same feat twice?

Alison Spooner and Dean Durrant are now fond of saying their family is two in a million. They just brought home their second set of twin girls, Miya and Leah, who share the same beautiful looks as their older sisters. Seven-year old Lauren has red hair and blue eyes, just like Mum. Twin Hayleigh has brown skin and hair like Dad.

In November, the new twins were delivered early by cesarean, and so were originally taken to a special care unit. It wasn’t for five days their parents saw them side-by-side and really noticed the same differences. “I was shocked when I first found out I was pregnant with twins again  -  but I never thought for one second they would turn out the same as last time,” Miss Spooner said. “‘I was blown away when I saw them together. I didn’t know until then that there was such a big difference between the two.”

Finally, the babies are healthy enough to go home, and to have their pictures shown to the world.

Like I said at  the outset, I am fascinated by twins. If I had twins of my own, I’m sure I would be annoyed by people like myself. But I’m just being honest. Most of the fraternal twins I have known look fairly similar. Think about Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I suppose I probably have known more fraternal twins, I just didn’t know it because of their different looks.

This is so cool! What a beautiful family.

For more information on twins have a look at this months Comment Contest Book Giveaway! This month’s prize is Twin Sense: A Sanity-Saving Guide to Raising Twins.

A married British couple recently found out they were twins separated at birth. When they found out the heart wrenching news, a court immediately annulled their marriage, but it hasn?t been reported yet how long the couple was married or involved. This discovery brings up issues surrounding the rights of adopted children and children conceived from donor eggs or sperm.

Many childless adults seek adoption or donors to help them become parents, but children might not learn their true origins.

The twins? sad story was revealed at a debate about human fertility and embryology law, adding to concerns raised about laws surrounding donor conception.

What is the right course of action? Parents have to consider how their child might feel if they knew they were conceived from a donor. On the other hand, traumatic situations like British couple?s might continue to happen if there isn?t full disclosure.

Adoption groups point out that today?s adoptions are much more open, and the twins are less likely to be separated now. But what about donor-conceived children? Is it fair to have the fact of their conception printed on their birth certificate (a public document)?

I think this issue brings up more questions than answers. Even if there are no adoptions or donors, many children have half-siblings they may never know about. Is it really something that government needs to get involved with? Or should it be left up to the parents?

As a single woman, I knew I wanted to have children one day, and I considered using a sperm bank. Though I didn?t choose that path to motherhood, I still know that my daughter may have siblings and cousins that neither of us will ever know about. Am I worried? Not really. There are billions of people in the world, so the likelihood she will ever marry a close relative is like finding a needle in a haystack.

What do you think? If you have an adopted child, are you concerned he may one day marry his sister? If you?ve used a donor egg or sperm, do you think it would be better for your child to know this information or not?