A relatively small study out of Australia has found that preschool aged children are already aware of body image. 53 children in four kindergarten classes were surveyed, and it was discovered that parents, especially mothers, are unintentionally impressing their own image issues on their children. The study found that children learn by watching their parents, and so if their mother is constantly verbalizing her dissatisfaction with her body, they internalize it and make it their own.

I found this study to be frighteningly disheartening. By no means am I the pinnacle of a physical specimen. However, I do not (as was mentioned in the article) suggest to my preschool aged daughter that she needs to exercise more to lose weight. We (my wife and I) encourage her to be physically active because it is “good for her body” (i.e. healthy), the same reason we give her for strongly encouraging (occasionally forcing) her to eat fruits and vegetables.

I cannot imagine what would possess a parent to tell their preschooler that they need to lose weight. Society does enough damage with the messages and images in modern media without parents doing the same thing at home.

Source: Body image obsession starts in kindy via Adelaide Now

A non-scientific survey churned out the non-surprising numbers: 31% of moms were angry about the pressure Hollywood moms put on them to look a certain way after giving birth. 24% felt depressed about it. The complete article really hit a nerve for me. In my culture, it is rampant, and considered perfectly acceptable, to greet people with an assessment of their weight. Of course, the commenter is most likely to comment on weight gain than weight loss.

I can’t even count how many times I have received the comment “Oh, you’ve gained weight!” in my life post teenage body (I’ve never been skinny, but I was skinnier in high school). And it’s now a constant refrain since I had a baby.

There are some moms who totally find celeb mom’s weight loss inspirational. I find it 99% unattainable except for a few. Those blessed with good genes, and those blessed with the same resources. If I had nannies, a personal trainer, a chef to prepare me nutritious and delicious meals, and a job where the number one priority is to look good? Heck, I’d utilize it all. The proud reality for me though is that my husband and I worked hard taking care of our baby all on our own, with a full-time job after barely 6 weeks of vacation.

How could we suburban moms compete? Besides, the La Leche League and doctors don’t recommend trying to actively lose weight while nursing, and I’m still nursing. They also don’t even recommend working out until at least 6 weeks after a C-section, which a lot of moms go through instead of vaginal births. Yet we see Hollywood moms on the cover of magazines with seemingly perfect bodies, and toned stomach a mere 8 weeks or so after giving birth? Are we supposee to emulate this? Is this even healthy?

Some moms mentioned in the MSN article have tossed their subscription to such magazines in disgust. For me, I don’t take such call to perfection so soon after birth to heart. I know my reality, and I do my best with that reality. For example, though the scale says I have lost all my pregnancy weight, I know my stomach will not look the same again without medical intervention. Stretch marks, sagging skin is a reality of most pregnancies. It was something that was considered normal before, but not anymore, it seems. Now, rumors circulate about lipo and other stomach treatments after a C-section or vaginal births for celebrity moms, and I’m apt to believe them. Their bread and butter is from how they look. It isn’t mine.

My one true wish though is that society accept and embrace women’s bodies in all sizes. My daughter is gonna grow up in this society after all, and I want her to always be proud of how amazing her body will be in carrying a baby, is she is ever blessed with any.

It’s taken me about thirty years, but at last I think I’ve made peace with my body image. It’s been through diets, exercise regimes taken up and abandoned, my weight fluctuating between 100 and 160lbs, boyfriends, marriage, separation, a new relationship, and the most important factor: my son.

Gaining pregnancy weight – a lot of pregnancy weight – taking abuse from my ex-husband for being fat, and loosing a lot of breast volume from breastfeeding damaged my self-esteem.

Now I have more positive people in my life, most of all my son, who gives me an indescribable amount of joy every day. My body cradled him safely for 9 months, and fed him, and held him and nurtured him. The lines above my belly button that will never go away are a reminder of that, and instead of being revolted by them, as I once was, today I’m proud of them.

Today, I’ve made a commitment to eat right (or at least, not too badly) and I’m also trying to set an active example. I’m riding my bike, I’m doing yoga, and we are walking to the store. I want to set a good example to my son, so that I’ll be his mom in good health, and be there for him as long as possible.

Also, throwing him up in the air has given me great shoulders!

My weight has stabilized, I feel good that I’ve managed to incorporate healthy eating and exercise into our routine (as opposed to exercise being a chore to fit into the day somehow) I have more energy, and I’m even confident enough to go out wearing shorts.

Looking back, I didn’t appreciate that I probably looked great when I was 17, even though I felt awful about myself. But now, at last, I’m at peace with my body image, I have more self-esteem, and it’s due to respect for my body and what it can do, rather than trying to conform to an unrealistic image of society’s “ideal” woman.

How has having children affected your body image and self-esteem?

It’s been long-rumored in the tabloids that many celebrities have had an elective cesarean birth, and a tummy tuck along with it. Other claims include anorexic diets, and 8-month cesareans to avoid gaining too much weight. (Could any mom really do that?)

No celebrity mom has ever confirmed that they’ve had either procedure, but with Hollywood stars appearing on the red carpet 3 weeks after giving birth looking amazingly thin, you have to wonder.

Beginning in California (where else?) many plastic surgeons are now marketing the “mommy makeover”, a plastic surgery package of a breast lift, optional breast implants, a tummy tuck and liposuction, advertised directly to mothers.

Last year, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons performed an incredible 325,000 mommy makeovers.

Is this a good thing to market, or are the surgeons taking advantage of new mothers? Seeing models and actresses looking fabulous right after delivery doesn’t do your self confidence any good. Are they exploiting women who should really be proud of all the amazing things their body has just accomplished?

Pregnancy didn’t do my body any favors – I’d have a boob job, and lipo, and anything and everything they can throw at my stretch marks. But I don’t think I’d ever go through with it, unless someone else was paying!

Would you have a mommy job? Or do you see the changes as a wonderful testament to your motherhood? (And good for you, Mama!) Or have you, or are planning to, have plastic surgery after pregnancy?