The baby shower is so much more than a gift giving session?it?s an event to mark the passage of a couple into parenthood, and to celebrate the birth of a child. Baby showers are important events requiring special care to plan in the best of circumstances. When the mother-to-be lives out of state and is on bedrest, this can complicate the plan, but it need not be a show stopper.

When I got remarried, I moved 800 miles away from my family, who mostly reside within a 50 mile radius of each other. Family friends live about 1 ? hours away in another state, but for the most part, everyone is centrally located.

When we announced the great news that we were expecting, my sisters began planning me a shower as it had been 9 years since the birth of my last child! It was assumed that I would make the 450 mile trip north to attend my baby shower where everyone lived, as it was the most logical plan. Apparently, life doesn?t follow logic.

I was put on modified bedrest during the last few months of my pregnancy. With my husband away with the Army for training, and four other children to care for, life was challenging enough. When I mentioned the baby shower plans to my doctor, he nixed them. That was too far of a drive to do alone and even if I could have someone help me out by driving, it wasn?t advisable.

My sisters were disappointed, but not deterred, and began planning the ?new? baby shower?without my knowledge. Recently, I saw an article about a family who gathered together and actually had a virtual shower for a woman in their family who had moved far away because of her husband?s military service. Both the woman and her family had webcams and they could watch her open up her gifts. That is an awesome idea, but sadly, my family is not technologically equipped.

Instead, most mailed the gifts to my home at my sisters? request. Others, who could make the trip, drove the gifts to a place where friend?s of my husband lived. He would be traveling that way after his military training, and could pick up the gifts before heading back to our house a few days before our child was due to arrive.

On my end, all I knew was that the baby shower had been canceled. I was deeply saddened and disappointed, but I tried to concentrate on the positive things like the fact that my child was healthy, that my pregnancy would soon be over, and that my family cared enough to suggest a shower.

On the day my husband was to arrive home, my mother-in-law stopped by to clean the house for me. I have to admit, my husband doesn?t care if the house is clean or not, so this was a shocker. Even more shocking was the fact that she arrived with a large amount of food from a local caterer. About an hour or so later, my husband arrived home with a car load of gifts and a few minutes after that, the neighbors arrived with gifts in tow.

We had a great time opening gifts and calling the different relatives on the phone to share the excitement with them?the low-tech version of the webcam experience. Although it wasn?t quite what it could have been had all of my loved ones been present with me while I was opening the gifts, it certainly was a very good option given the circumstances.

I started spotting the following day after an OB confirmed my pregnancy. And then, before I had time to really digest everything that’s happening, I was ordered to go on bed rest.And it turned out, I would be on bed rest for three months.

That is a lot to ask from an active woman who loves the outdoors, one who especially loved climbing mountains and jumping off bridges into rivers. Personally, I think it is one of the hardest things for a pregnant woman, the realization that her body isn’t hers anymore, at least for the time being.

But one’s got to do what one’s got to do. Everything to keep the baby safe, after all. So my hubs and I camped on our living room so i’d be close to the TV, the bathroom, the computer and everything else. Exchanging notes with fellow Moms who were put on bedrest, here is how we made bed rest work for us:

1. We SLEPT a lot! This went a long way in relaxing us and rejuvenating us. We relished that we need not be slaves to alarm clocks anymore (except to remind us of pre-natal vitamins and uterine relaxant drugs we had to take).

2. We CATALOGED and ORGANIZED. It was the perfect time to organize the wedding pictures and bills and what-have-you’s that have piled up. It whiled the hours away and resulted in less clutter in drawers and cabinets.

3. We WATCHED TV. Loads of it. We didn’t just embrace all of Oprah and Ellen and Tyra, we also made room for all the reality shows we could find. We caught up on our showbiz gossip. We followed The Amazing Race and American Idol. Some of us even checked out the cartoons kids are watching now, and all the documentaries at National Geographic and Discovery Channel. Some of us also bought complete seasons of favorite soaps and became Grey’s Anatomy, Heroes, Desperate Housewives, etc. fans overnight. I personally watched all of FRIENDS’ episodes twice.

4. We READ a lot. I read all Harry Potter books at least twice. I re-read all my chick-lit novels and had my husband buy more. We read pregnancy books and breastfeeding books and parenting books. We read nursery rhymes out loud. Some of us chose an author and attempted to read all his works (I chose Mark Twain).

5. We took up NEW and PRODUCTIVE HOBBIES. I digiscrapped. Some took up scrapbooking with fervor. Some took up knitting. Some took up cross-stitching. Maybe you can even dabble in board games or video games (depending on the terms of your bed rest, of course).

6. We turned to the INTERNET. We did a lot of research online, a lot of shopping too! We also found support and comfort from fellow Moms who went through, or are undergoing, the same confinement.

7. We ACCEPTED help and the situation. We delegated tasks even. Someone else had to take care of the dog, the fish and the chores. Daddy had to take care of the other kids and Mommy too. To make it easier for the household, however, we also made sure we had our box or basket near the bed containing things we might need or want during the day, so we need not keep calling someone for help. We also took it upon ourselves to balance the checkbook, monitor the cashflow, and list up the groceries. We also scheduled visits from friends so we wouldn’t be deprived of socialization and adult company.

8. We TALKED to our significant others, family members and friends. We shared our feelings, we cried over shoulders, we discussed our fears.

9. We SKIPPED WORK and other STRESSORS. Aside from the very occasional call to direct a subordinate, tell someone where the file is, update the boss on our progress (especially if the bed rest was going to take longer), we all made sure we avoided doing anything related to work. That way, we didn’t dwell too much on which projects were left unfinished. We also let someone else take care of other stressors like an ailing family member. And hard as it was, we tried not to worry about the finances for the time being (while also curbing some cravings and shopping itch).

10. We FOCUSED ON THE GOAL which is a safe pregnancy. We found that when you know your priorities, it is easier to let go of everything else and make the necessary sacrifices and compromises.

Though bed rest is not a proven remedy for pregnancy complications, it has been proven to take pressure off the cervix and reduce strain on your heart, thus improving blood flow to the kidneys which helps eliminate excess fluids. Bed rest also increases circulation to the uterus and the placenta, facilitating the baby’s growth. Most of all, it minimizes the level of stress hormones in the bloodstream that can trigger contractions.

So if you’re like me and your OB issues instructions for you to get some bed rest, don’t panic! And don’t think you’re going to go insane (we didn’t!).

Remember, it can actually be the greatest opportunity to prepare for the baby too.