Babies learn to speak by listening and mimicking what we say. Experts say that by about 10 months old (or sooner) babies will begin to recognize common words. By this time, they’ve been “babbling” multiple syllables for several months, and may start putting a few words (”mama,” “dada”) into context.

Communicating with your baby from birth helps positively reinforce their identities as little individuals, separate from you. For instance, responding to a baby’s cries lets her know her needs will be met, that someone is paying attention. Likewise, when you respond to a baby’s coos and gurgles with interested expressions or by repeating what she is saying, you are telling the baby her words matter – you are interested in what she has to say.

I provide a running commentary whenever I’m out with my daughter – and I have done this since she was born. In the grocery store, I recite my list to her, point out products that catch her attention and tell her their names, or just talk about things we will do in the future. At home, I fold laundry in front of her watchful gaze, pointing out the colors and the objects. Then there are songs and games: The Itsy-Bitsy Spider, and Old MacDonald, for instance. It turns out, just by trusting my instincts, I figured out many of the right things to say to a baby.

Follow these tips to engage your infant in conversation:

Be animated. Make your eyes wide and use animated facial expressions to catch a baby’s attention – the more exaggerated the better to engage a very young baby.

Use simple phrases. When you talk to your baby, use short words and simple phrases. Refer to yourself as “Mommy” (or “Daddy” as the case may be) and use your baby’s name frequently, too. As babies get older, they listen for their name to recognize the beginning or end of a sentence.

Remember to speak slowly and clearly. If you’ve ever studied a foreign language, you know how hard it is to understand native speakers if you are just beginning to learn the tongue. To a baby, every language is new. Speak slowly and clearly so baby can discover patterns in your words.

Repeat baby’s first words. Or first attempts at forming words. Baby’s learn language best when you speak clearly to them, but you can also repeat their “babble.” If your baby says, “Ga, ga,” repeat “ga, ga,” back to him. After repeating his syllables a few times, switch it up. If he’s been saying, “da, da, da,” say, “da, da” (only two times) back. Your baby will soon catch on and start mimicking you.

Teach conversational patterns. When your baby babbles to you, treat it as if you would a regular conversation. Say, “Is that so?” Let your baby respond. Provide positive reinforcement by saying, “What an exciting story you’re telling me!”

Similarly, when you are talking to your baby, make sure to leave time for a response. In this way, babies learn the give and take and different intonations of a conversation.

Use words and gestures to connect concepts. From birth onward, you can show baby an object and tell them the word for that object. Games like my laundry game, where I point out different pieces of clothing and their colors as I put them away, can be played anywhere.

Show your baby toys or stuffed animals and say their names. You can take, for instance, a stuffed dog, and say, “This is a dog. Dogs go ‘woof, woof.’” Then rub the animal against your baby’s cheek and say, “The dog’s fur is soft.”

Bath time is a great time to point out body parts as you wash them. As your infant gets older, (around 8 months) you can ask her to point to her nose, foot or elbow, for instance. Don’t worry if she doesn’t get it right away.

Your words make an impact. Most importantly, remember that even before your baby truly grasps the full meaning of your words, those words make an impact.

Don’t criticize an infant or toddler, and avoid threatening a baby with negative consequences. It may be tempting to explain to a finicky eight-month-old that: “If you don’t eat your spinach, you won’t grow up big and strong,” but negative phrases have been shown by child-rearing experts to hurt, rather than help, development.

Avoid, at all costs, telling a baby they “can’t” do something. Whenever you talk to your newborn, infant or toddler, provide positive reinforcement delivered in upbeat tones. Not only will it help teach your baby how to speak, it will pave the way to a lifetime of confidence for your little one.

Babies and toddlers learn a lot by copying you. That’s why they want to learn to talk and walk and play with your cellphone. I don’t know why babies want to drop cellphones in the toilet, you’ll have to ask your friendly neighborhood child development psychologist.

Babies mimic you, and it’s natural to mimic them back, and coo to babies, clap our hands together with them and stick our tongues back out at them, and apparently this is very good for making baby feel important, validated and loved, and encourages baby to keep copying you.

If only there was a way to filter what they copy and what they don’t. Once I locked myself out my house and broke in through a window with a shovel from my son’s sandbox. He spent a lot of time bashing his sand tools on the walls and windows after that, and was probably wondering why we didn’t climb in to the house through the windows more often.

I’ve also learned that I burn toast too often. I was cleaning the kitchen today with my toddler, and gave him a towel to help wipe with. He looked at it blankly. Then realization dawned! He ran to the other side of the kitchen and started  flapping it towards the smoke alarm.

Then there’s the way he talks to my daycare baby. Daycare baby was crawling on the sofa, and he shouts “Baby! Get Down! Now!” in an eerily familiar way. OK, so one day he was climbing on the back of the sofa again and again and again and trying valiantly to fall off the back and break his head on the hardwood floor and totally ignoring my polite requests to get down.

It’s amusing, interesting and sometimes humbling to see yourself mirrored like that, and a little reminder that just about everything you do in front of your child affects them, a little or a lot.

It’s no secret that parents are starting their kids on the path to learning earlier these days. Before my son was born, my husband and I made a decision to avoid the cutesy baby talk. Taking our cues from the latest research at the time, we decided the best way to develop his communication skills was to actually communicate with him.

We used to get some funny stares, when for example we were at the bank, and we would point at signs and read them to him. And this was only shortly after he had said his first word. I can remember my husband telling me once about reading a short sign to our son, and his friend who was nearby saying, ‘You know he can’t understand you, right?’

Unfortunately many people share this attitude. They somehow fail to realize the enormous potential of a young brain. The end result of our efforts is a child with a vocabulary far beyond his years. We don’t use what some people would call ‘big words’ when speaking to him. But he has developed an innate curiosity about words, and the way they are used. When he hears a new word he always asks what it means. And for the most part he remembers and uses them correctly. He even grasps contextual meanings pretty quickly.

I am not by any means saying he is a genius. But clearly, babies can reap enormous benefits from parents who speak to them instead of just making funny sounds. This is one case where child development experts are clearly right. Let’s face it, when you look into those precious eyes, it’s easy to just lose yourself, and start making any sound that will win a smile. Just also keep in mind that they need more from you.

So what’s your take on baby talk?