The day I found out I was pregnant, the lead story on CNN.com was ‘the dangers of caffeine for pregnant women.’ Ah, the Universe loves irony.

A few years ago, I sported a pin on my jacket that read, ‘Give me coffee and no one gets hurt!’ In the past year, I’d ‘cut back’ to about three or four (8 oz.) cups a day. And green tea in between.

I love everything about coffee. The taste, the aroma, the positive memory-associations of sipping a good latte after a great meal. Even as I write this, my heart is pounding in anticipation of a cup of the good dark stuff. In my first job as magazine editor, when things got rough at the office, I’d head to Starbucks for a ‘grande soy latte.’

The evening after I found out I’m pregnant, I went to my sister’s house to tell her. I noticed the fresh pot of after-dinner coffee brewing. ‘Do you want a cup?’ she asked.

‘More than anything,’ I said wistfully.

She gave me a funny look and then she remembered the news I’d just shared; and the study. ‘It’s okay. One cup won’t hurt. I drank coffee through both my pregnancies.’

‘Thanks, Mom, nice to know you cared about me!’ my niece interjected.

‘And they’re both fine,’ she concluded.

When I started experiencing the first signs of morning sickness, oh, about 2 days after the pregnancy test showed up positive, coffee lost its appeal. By the third day, my stomach turned at the scent of coffee brewing.

But the brain forgets quickly, and after a week, I was jones-ing again. By now, the caffeine headaches have gone away, and it’s pure psychological addiction.

The other night, after a particularly good dinner, I brewed myself a cup of decaf. I couldn’t even bring myself to drink it. I don’t know whether it was psychological (I’d always swore I’d never drink decaf) or if the nauseated feelings coffee brought on earlier had ruined it for me.

I’m on a quest for ‘coffee substitutes.’ I still miss the ritual of sitting down with my morning cup, checking my e-mail and preparing for the day. And I still miss everything about coffee; including, especially, the almost-instant energy perk.

It’s almost an identity crisis. Not only do I miss coffee? I miss everything it represents.

I recently tried herbal tea with ginseng. There it was the elevated heart rate, immediate perk, a burst of energy that didn’t even wear off as quickly as a caffeine high. Then I went online and learned that studies were inconclusive in regard to ginseng and pregnancy, but pregnant women were advised to stay away from the herb. Great.

I’ve started drinking VitaminWater Revive, fortified with lots of B vitamins. It hydrates, and B vitamins, as long as you stick to the recommended daily allowance, are healthy. No ‘energy burst,’ but it’s something to drink in the morning.

I’ve resorted to keeping my energy level up the natural way: exercise, limiting sugar and carbs so my blood sugar levels stay steady throughout the day, and a quick 20-minute cat nap when I really can’t take it anymore.

I’m just glad I don’t smoke or drink heavily, because I couldn’t imagine giving up two addictions all in the space of a few months!