A friend of mine had her second baby while I was barely in the first trimester of my second pregnancy. Her kids were really close in age – about twelve months apart, I think – and she didn’t have an easy time with dealing with both kids at once. She told me that I won’t realize just how easy it is to deal with one baby until you put another one into the mix. It’s only then that you understand how easy it is to only deal with one kid.

She told me something her pediatrician had told her: When it comes to having kids, “One is one, and three is three, but two is four.”

In other words, having one baby is tough, but at least you’re only dealing with one baby. Having three kids isn’t so bad because by the time the third one comes you’re already a master at multi-tasking. The second baby, on the other hand, is an entirely new experience. Up to that point you’ve only ever dealt with one kiddo. Suddenly being responsible for two kids instead of one can be a rude awakening for some moms and dads.

In other words, two is four. It’s twice as hard to go from one baby to two. It can be incredibly overwhelming, especially if the babies are pretty close in age. Trust me…my kids are nineteen months apart and there were many times indeed when it seemed to me as though my two babies were more like four babies. For me, it was that tough.

If you’re awaiting the birth of your second baby, don’t assume that you’ll have a tough time. I know some moms who claim that the addition of a second baby was a seamless transition. Do brace yourself for some big changes, though, because even the best blessings can add some difficulty.