The Truth About Birth Plans
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I was talking to a dear friend several months ago about her “birth plan” for the upcoming birth of her first child. A birth plan is an opportunity for you to discuss and plan “ideally” how you’d like your child’s birth to happen with your health care provider. Just doing a simple internet search, I found several websites devoted to helping you create a birth plan which can be simple, or very detailed.
I’ve given birth with a doctor in a hospital, with midwives, and also in a military hospital. The interest level of the health care providers in birth plans varied significantly across these environments, as I’m sure you can imagine.
What I did find out from my birth experiences, all after high risk pregnancies, was that very little emphasis was placed upon the experience. It was more so placed upon the baby and doing whatever was needed to deliver a healthy child. Because of the stress surrounding the birth event, I had little time to think about if I’d like music played during the birth, or if I’d like to be in a birthing chair or not. I found, quite frankly, that different providers had different ways of doing things, and that some things were not up for discussion.
Perhaps it is different during a low risk pregnancy. What I did try to convey to my friend, and what I’d like to share with other women on the cusp of motherhood is that you should pack a hearty share of flexibility in your hospital bag. Don’t set your hopes on having “an experience”, and realize that your child’s birth may or may not go the way you envision—for many reasons.
A birth plan is an awesome way to mentally prepare yourself for the birth of your child, but realize that it isn’t set in stone, no matter how detailed it may be. It’s best to keep in mind that the goal isn’t creating the ultimate birth plan for the perfect birth experience; the ultimate goal is the birth of a child in an environment that is safe for both mom and baby. Prepare yourself mentally for the reality that all may not go as planned.
After checking back with my friend, I found that she did indeed need to deviate from her birth plan as last minute complications meant that she needed an emergency c-section instead of delivering the child naturally. She had a beautiful, health child, and yet she was disappointed and felt shortchanged because the experience had not gone a certain way. My heart broke for her because her emotional pain was very real, and there was very little I could do but listen to her relay her disappointment.
Parenting is a grand journey that begins during pregnancy. Birthing the child is just one event in that grand journey and lasts a comparatively short time in comparison to the length of time it takes to raise a child to adulthood. It is however, a preparation for what is to come. Just as you might need to deviate from “the plan” during the birth, you may need to deviate from “the plan” at some point during the parenting journey in the future too. Pack your flexibility for the birth, and keep it handy for the rest of the ride!
jess says...
I really love the idea of a birth plan. And perhaps I was just too laid back to complain when things didn’t happen the way they were “planned.” For example:
I wanted to listen to music in the birthing room, okay that did go right.
I wanted to use a birthing ball and bar, but since I was hooked up to a fetal heart rate monitor, I couldn’t move very much.
I absolutely wanted a drug free birth, but the baby wasn’t coming so they had to induce with pitocin.
I reaallly wanted to use the jacuzzi available, but once they had given me pitocin, I couldn’t.
I 100% wanted a natural birth, but my son wasn’t coming out. Turns out, we needed that cesearean because his cord was wrapped around his neck twice.
Will I try a birth plan again? Absolutely. The most important thing to remember from any book or birthing class is to stay flexible. I hope the next time around that my baby will be as laid back as me and that we can get down to business according to “plan.”
Kimberly says...
Oh how true! I just had my son 3 weeks ago and my birth plan - written about 2 months before my due date - included things like “I’d like to be free to walk around during labor - I will ask for an epidural if I want one, but probably will not - I do not want to have a c-section unless medically necessary,” etc., etc.
What ended up happening was that I was induced on my due date because my baby was getting huge. I needed an epidural immediately for the intense Pitocin contractions that came out of nowhere and then after 8 hours of labor and a baby who was quite happy to stay inside, I had an emergency c-section to get him out of there.
I was sad, overwhelmed by the whirlwind experience, felt out of touch with my baby the first day or two, and had a major surgery to recover from. But all in all, what mattered was delivering a healthy (10 lb. 4 oz.) baby boy and getting on with our journey. I wouldn’t change a single thing because he is just precious.
And I’m not sure I’ll ever write another birth plan again.
Erika-Marie Geiss says...
Great article. You’re absolutely right about maintaining a sense of flexibility when it comes to drafting a birth plan, but where one delivers also has a lot to do with the experience that one has in labor. Some hospitals ignore them completely. I know of one woman who, when she handed over the birth plan, was told by the nurse: “first time mom. Huh. Well, you won’t be needing this. We don’t go by these.” Or something to that effect. (She delivered at one of the hospitals that I refused to have anything to do with.) On the other hand, my doctors and CNMW respected our birth plan (or at least pretended to) and we had an excellent experience. But, we were also open to all of the possibilities from the onset that things might not go the way we wished–and we let them know that as well when we turned over our carefully prepared document. Were we to have another child, I’d do it the same way…including where we delivered (unless we got did a home birth).
VaMomma says...
I never wrote a birth plan after experiencing my first birth for just the reasons you ladies mention.
I found that overall, the midwives were the most open to my input, but the military hospital was very regimented and there was no room for any change in their routine, despite my vocal protests. For example, they refused to let me hold my infant after birth until they had done their “post birth” routine and cleaned him up. After my protests, a nurse intervened, and they shortened the routine, but that was the best I could do.
One doctor actually ordered my epidural for me despite my protests during my labor with my second!
Birth plans are great to do, in theory, but in reality, they have very little to do with what actually happens in the birthing room. I’d advise all moms to be prepared to advocate for yourself and discuss the things that are open for discussion with your provider, or have a friend, significant other, or relative available to advocate for you. Other than your close family and friends, your best advocate will be the nurse attending your birth. She or he will be able to give you and idea of what to expect, and how certain doctors tend to handle birthing experiences.
Thanks ladies for sharing!