When Your Ex Finds Out You’re Pregnant
Life in modern day society can be very complex and confusing. Sometimes, I wish there was a book about how to handle certain situations with grace, calmness, and dignity. Alas, there is no book and some situations are just going to be downright ugly.
Seven years ago, I left my abusive ex-husband and began to rebuild my life and the lives of my children. Four years ago, I re-married my current husband.
My ex is not happy that I have moved on and he’s very vocal about it (I’m being kind here). He was very vocal about the first child my husband and I conceived and incredibly, crashed our son’s funeral after suing me for contempt of court because I miscarried on HIS weekend. How selfish of me. He was EXTREMELY vocal about my second pregnancy. Now, I am pregnant again.
My daughter mentioned the pregnancy to him yesterday during a phone call. So far, I haven’t heard any drama over the revelation, but I’m preparing myself because I’m almost positive it’s going to get ugly again. I also wonder if (or how) I can make this a little bit easier for all of us–mostly for my children. I certainly don’t need any more stress in my life–nor do they.
Sadly, I don’t think that there is anything I personally can do, other than to limit my exposure to the negativity. Of course, I’ll be there to help the children navigate through the emotionally charged waters too. I can listen to them as they vent and free themselves from the negativity after visitation periods, and I can give them some strategies to protect themselves emotionally, but I think that’s about it. It doesn’t seem to be enough.
I am curious though, has anyone else out there dealt with a situation like this? How have you handled the issue with “grace and dignity”?