The Perils of Assuming a Women is Pregnant
A playgroup that I hang out with had a gathering this morning, and one mom I hadn’t seen in a few months was there. So we said hello, how nice it was to see her again, and asked after each other’s kids. She looked rounder in the belly than I remember, and her son is about the age where many moms start planning baby #2.
It could also be a little extra weight. Bolder people than me might just ask outright but I don’t want to cause offense if she isn’t pregnant. But, I don’t want to not ask, it would be rude not to ask after her new baby, and besides, if she’s pregnant I want to know!
I asked her how she’d been, and she replied that she was feeling a lot better this week because her morning sickness had eased off. Congratulations, my friend, and thank you for saving me from asking the awkward question.
I just read an article about riders on the subway in Chicago, and whether they give up seats to pregnant women or not. Only half of bus and train users in Chicago give up their seats for a pregnant woman. Some commuters said that they don’t want to offer their seats to pregnant women just in case the woman in question isn’t actually pregnant.
I think moms have a pretty good radar for spotting other pregnant women. Have you ever noticed one of your friends or colleagues acting a little differently, holding herself differently, or has that subtle expression that she knows a really exciting secret? And then a few weeks later, she made the announcement?
I guess since we’ve been there, done that and got the maternity t-shirt, we can pick up the subtle signs that differentiate early pregnancy from a recent jelly donut binge.
But, my policy is still going to be to wait until I’m told to start talking about someone’s pregnancy. if you get it wrong, your friend is probably going to be offended and feel fat. I’ve had a messy relationship with weight most of my life, and the last thing I want to do is make anyone else feel bad about their weight. Most pregnant women like to make the announcement themselves, not have someone else guess first. It takes the excitement of the news away if someone else already knows .
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Robert Freeze says...
As a guy I would most defiantly offer my seat on a train to any woman – pregnant or not. Likely the best way to not offend and still be courteous… It’s not like you have to say, “excuse me, you look pregnant, please have my seat.”
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