Domestic Violence Against Pregnant Women: How To Get Help
When a man learns his partner is pregnant, it’s usually a joyous time. As well as happiness and excitement, it’s natural for men to feel uncertainty, fear of change, nervousness about whether he’ll be a good father, and worry about how he’ll provide for his family. But for most men, it’s a an overwhelmingly happy feeling.
For a minority of men, this negative emotion can turn into rage, resentment or jealousy of the baby, a doubt that the child is actually his, anger at the mother for “trapping him”, maybe compounded by bad memories from his own childhood, financial pressure, and other negative emotions.
Pregnant women are at increased risk of violence from their partner. Abusive relationships often get worse when the woman is pregnant, partly because of the emotions it stirs up in the man, and partly because she’s more vulnerable and easier to abuse.
And in some cases, it leads to murder. Homicide is one of the major causes of death of pregnant women in America, and the vast majority of murders are committed by the father of the baby.
The most famous case in recent times was Laci Peterson, murdered in 2002 along with her unborn son, Conner, by her husband, Scott Peterson. He is currently on death row in a California prison.
Latoyia Figueroa, a mother to a seven-year-old daughter, was murdered in 2005 by the father of her unborn baby. She was five months pregnant, and had refused her boyfriend’s request that she had an abortion. Her boyfriend was jailed for life without parole for the murder.
Authorities don’t keep specific records on whether murder victims were pregnant, or whether pregnancy was the motive, but some groups estimate that a shocking 20% of deaths of pregnant women are homicides.
Murder of pregnant women is rare, but domestic violence against pregnant women and their babies is not. If you are pregnant and being abused, you are not alone, and there are people who can help you.
If you are pregnant, and scared, or know someone who is, here’s some links for help and more information.
In the USA: The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) For advice, information, someone to talk to, and connections to help in your community. Open 24 hours, staffed by English and Spanish speakers, with interpreters for almost every other language.
In the UK: Refuge, 0808-2000-247, A 24-hour help line for women to talk and get help for abusive situations.
In Canada: Shelter from the Storm and ShelterNet connect women to domestic violence helplines and shelters. A Safe Passage offers support groups and counselling for victims of violence.
In Australia: Crisis helplines for each state and territory at The Government Office For Women. The national Domestic Violence Crisis Service 24-hour hotline is 62 800 900.
In New Zealand: Preventing Violence in the Home 0508 DVHELP (0508 384 357) between 7.30am and 11.00pm. For emergencies outside these hours, call the police on 111.
All of the hotlines above are confidential, and you don’t have to give your name to talk to someone. If your baby’s father is abusing you, it will not get better after the baby is born.
The violence and abuse is not your fault. What he is doing is evil and wrong. Please call, and get help for you, and your baby.
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