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Differences In Pregnancies

I came aboard Babies Online – The Blog as a resident dad. The idea was that I would offer a “dad’s eye view” of trying to conceive, pregnancy, and the first year of the baby’s life. Unfortunately, that middle section – the part about pregnancy – is not necessarily something I can speak of with much authority (seeing as how I am not the one carrying the baby). So, I am left with my armchair observations and pontificating about that part.

My wife is approximately half way through her pregnancy with our second child (who, we found out last week with reasonable but not 100% certainty, is a boy), so I thought I would share some observations I have made in the differences between the two experiences thus far.

With our first, we conceived in late June, and confirmed near the end of July. Since my wife was a teacher at the time, she was off work and therefore could sleep in as late as she needed, did not have any specific job to attend to, and could effectively just take care of herself. Subsequently, our memories of the first trimester were that it was not that bad, since all teachers are exhausted their first month back. She had no real morning sickness to speak of, and other than one developed craving, the pregnancy was uneventful.

This time around, she is still asking me when I think the nausea will subside (as if I, with less pregnancy experience than her, could offer some insight or wisdom on the subject… but that’s more an issue of the scientifically unproven “baby brain”, which is really a post in itself). She has been more fatigued and more nauseous than she ever was with pregnancy #1. Ironically, I have been doing more around the house this time when she’s a SAHM and her role in the relationship is primarily to take care of our daughter and the house stuff than last time when she was working all day out of the house.

But there are some positive differences as well. What was thought to be gas or an anxious stomach last time is known to be “flutters” from the baby. This baby seems to be a lot more active than our daughter ever was, as evidenced by the fact that our first two ultrasounds each took an hour to complete because the technician could not get the baby to stay still long enough to get measurements. Because we have a daughter who was convinced the baby was another girl, we decided to learn the gender early this time, which was pretty exciting as well.

When you first get pregnant, people tell you that your experience is unique. No matter who you compare pregnancies with, the experience is different. However, you assume that if you have the same partners, and conceive another child, that the experience will at least bear some similarity to your first. And with that assumption you are oh so wrong. Each pregnancy is distinct, for good and for bad.

What differences have you noticed in your pregnancies? Have you noticed trends with children of the same gender, or is that a complete guessing game as well? If this is your first pregnancy, how does your experience compare with other pregnant friends of yours? What about the self-help books that most pregnant women read?

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