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Can you keep a secret?

canyoukeepsecret.jpgMy husband and I have never been much for what we call ?stupid-stitions.? Nevertheless, we didn?t plan to tell practically everyone we knew that I was pregnant before I even had my first doctor?s appointment. It just kind of happened.

I?d been feeling tired for about a week. I mean, tired beyond tired. ?It?s only 11 AM and I need a nap? tired. My period was four days late. Sunday night I decided I wanted to take a pregnancy test. I figured I?d wait till morning for the most accurate results. I didn?t want to waste another test on a false negative; I?d already been through three since we started trying to conceive about four months prior.

The plan was to get out of bed and take the test before my husband left for work. But remember what I said about being tired? Monday mornings are bad enough. The thought of peeing on a stick, pre-coffee, did not appeal.

As a freelance writer, I set my own hours, more or less, and I usually start work around 10 AM. At 9:30, I hauled my tired butt out of bed and into the bathroom. The plus sign on the EPT jolted me awake in a way caffeine never could. I blinked to make sure I was seeing it correctly, washed my hands, and headed to the kitchen.

Carefully rehearsing what I would say, I dialed my husband?s cell phone. ?Could you come home for lunch today?? I asked. I looked at the clock, and a voice inside my head said, You can?t wait until 12 or one o?clock to tell him! ?Or sooner,? I added. ?Nothing?s wrong. Just, you know, if you can. Not a big deal.? ?Okay,? he said. I wanted to scream, ?Okay, you?ll come home now, or during lunch?? When will I see you?? But I stayed cool.

Within less than 40 minutes, he walked in the door. ?What?s up?? he said, by way of greeting. ?Are you pregnant?? He had a smile on his face. ?So much for surprising you,? I said. ?Yes!? He laughed. ?Well, good! I knew it! At least that?s a good reason for leaving work a few hours after I got there. Everyone will be happy.?

Two of his co-workers at the elementary school had been present for our cell phone conversation, and all three of them had figured it out. The two women sent him home with their blessings to make sure.

Later that week, we attended a work party. Needless to say, word spreads quickly in an elementary school, so no one asked why I was sipping ginger ale all night instead of rum and coke or wine.

Since all my husband?s co-workers knew, we decided it was only fair to tell our friends and family, too. I?m great at keeping other people?s secrets, but I really can?t keep secrets about myself.

I understand the reasoning, besides superstition, behind not telling people about a pregnancy until the standard 12 weeks. With a one-in-four chance of miscarriage within the first trimester, you may not want to have to share that news with all the people you shared the good news. But if anything bad should happen, I want my support system there to know about it. I just can?t understand keeping the pregnancy a secret.

More importantly? reference the whole “tired” thing again. I would much rather everyone know I?m pregnant than be concerned that I have a terminal illness or, worse, I?ve just gotten incredibly lazy and decided to nap at every reasonable opportunity!


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