5 Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman
We’ve all been there. Either as a pregnant person placed in an awkward situation by some thoughtless words spoken, or as the instigator putting our foot in our mouths. Whether it’s your best friend, sister, wife or an acquaintance who is expecting a baby, please follow these guidelines of what not to say to her.
Things to Not Say to a Pregnant Woman
You’re as big as a house! Even if she is as big as said house, please don’t tell her that! Being told you’re larger than life is something few people will find complimentary. If you must focus on her appearance, tell a pregnant woman that she has that pregnancy glow, or that her hair looks extra full, or that her purse is pretty.
Have you chosen a name? My husband and I heard that question over and over again and, since we hadn’t decided on a name yet, we’d give an honest “no” answer – which was almost always followed by some well-meaning (but unwelcome) suggestions. However, even though we were down to two possible choices, we still weren’t sharing the names because, frankly, we didn’t want anyone’s opinion on them. Naming a baby can be a very personal decision and sometimes it’s best not to ask.
How long were you trying? There’s no good answer to this one: the asker may end up either surprised at how little or how long it took to get pregnant; either way, it’s no one’s business.
Did you use fertility drugs/a fertility clinic? Don’t assume that multiples or even a single pregnancy is due to fertility methods. Even if she did, she might not want to talk about it. Infertility and trouble getting pregnant are very tough situations, and if the pregnant woman wants to discuss it, she will bring it up.
You must be so excited/thrilled/happy/etc. It’s easy to assume that anyone who is pregnant is thrilled to be in that state. However, pregnancy can bring a multitude of emotions – which are not always positive ones. In addition, morning sickness, issues with parents, health concerns and more can all cause feelings of worry during pregnancy – turning a simple statement into an inconsiderate blow to her emotional state. Instead of assuming she is feeling great and making her have to agree with you, simply ask, “How are you feeling?” and then listen to the answer.
What inappropriate or inconsiderate things have you heard from others when you were pregnant?