The “Other” Moms
I once read a great article that discussed the cliques that form with playgroups. The article compared this to the same phenomenon in high school where certain leaders arise, some people just kind of follow along, and there are some people who simply don’t fit in. I’ve attended more than a few playgroups during my reign as Mommy, and I will say that I have to agree with the author of the article. Perhaps it isn’t merely a high school phenomenon, but merely a natural, anthropological-type occurrence that’s bound to happen no matter what the group. Get a bunch of high schoolers together, and they’ll form groups. Get a bunch of parents together, and they’ll form groups too. For all I know, you can get a group of random tribesmen from the far corners of the earth, put them all in a big room, and they’ll form groups too even though nobody can speak the same language.
For the record, I don’t have a degree in anthropology, so I probably don’t know what I’m talking about here.
Anyhow, the point is that even though we all have the common bond of parenthood it does not necessarily mean that all our other differences melt away. There are different parenting styles, opinions, and cultures that make us all who we are. Rest assured that we can’t hide behind the Parent label for too long before our true colors start to shine. I remember one playgroup – we had all known each other for a couple of months – where a mom all of a sudden went into a very loud, opinionated diatribe about abortion. The rest of use stood there with our jaws open, not really understanding when our playdate had turned into a political rally.
Look for a playgroup full of parents who you would want to hang out with outside of the playdate. Things will run much smoother and you won’t dread playdates as you would if you couldn’t stand the other parents. Your kids can pick their own friends when they get older, but when they’re babies it’s up to you to find social interaction for them…don’t make it torturous to you.
Dawn Allcot says...
Great something else to look forward to (beyond labor and delivery.) LOL I hated high school and don’t fit in with “normal” people. LOL
Very interesting blog, though. And I believe you’re right about the tribesmen. I’m sure someone’s done a study on it, too!
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