Single Motherhood is not Catching
I’m separated from my son’s father and for the most part, I’ve had some wonderful support from family and friends. It’s often hard to accept help, but I’m so grateful to have someone make me dinner, help look after my son, or just listen to me complain when my ex is being a pain.
I’m a little saddened by the reaction of some people I know. One woman who I’ve know since when I was married has changed a lot. She’s married, with a child my son’s age, and we used to be friendly and now she treats me like I have a disease. I don’t think singleness or marriage breakups are catching? I don’t think my one-parent son will transmit something to her daughter.
I don’t know her true reasons for her change in attitude but it seems like she, and a couple of other mothers I know, are much more comfortable being with mothers in traditional two-parent families.
I can accept that it’s easier relating to people in the same situation as you, and perhaps the fact that I’m single reminds her that marriage isn’t always until death-do-us part and there’s fear of something happening to her family. I don’t know.
I asked my aggressive, alcoholic, emotionally neglectful husband to leave for a good reason. My home is much more peaceful and my son seems to be happier now he has two calm houses instead of one frightening one.
Single mothers, there’s a lot of us, mostly didn’t want to end up sole parents. I wish I had a loving partner to curl up with on the couch and take turns getting up at night when the baby is sick and go to the park together as a family at the weekends.
So this is a message to those in a good relationship. Give your partner a hug and tell them how much you appreciate them. And if you have any friends who are single moms, give them a hug (or make them a coffee) too.
Read More
Carolyn says...
I’m a newly single mom. I left my husband 2 months ago and my son turns 8 months next week. I get I’m so sorry. I’m not, I’m happier and so is my son. We are currently living with my parents and older sister so he has all the attention he could ever want. His Father wasn’t a drinker or abusive he just got to the point he didn’t help with the kids (his son or our son) He didnt’ help with the house and the last straw was when he starting throwing things when he was mad. I give hugs to all moms!