Let’s Talk About Poop
It’s so simple for new parents to slip into the whole “My-baby-is-the-most-brilliant baby-ever-and-everything-my-baby-does-is-intriguing” that sometimes we forget to censor ourselves for the non-parents in the room. I once had a conversation with two friends of mine: one was a mom and one was a man who had never had children. The other mom and I trading labor stories back and forth for about five minutes while my male friend politely listened for a while. When we started discussing blood loss and how gory labor can be he glanced down at his food and begged us to stop. Poor guy.
The funniest instance of this, however, was at a playgroup I attended when my daughter was around six months old. My friend’s sister was in attendance, and although she was somewhat familiar with babies because of her sister’s children, she had never cared for a baby on a day-to-day basis. Four of us stood in the kitchen, eating appetizers and watching our kids play. One of us brought up the topic of poop, and before long we were all discussing the frequency, consistency, and smell of our babies’ poop. We didn’t spare any details. My friend’s sister stood there watching us, completely horrified as we detailed the contents of our babies’ diapers while also munching happily on snacks. Once we all realized what we had done we all had a good laugh about it, but I’ll never forget the look on my friend’s sister’s face.
Here is a tip from one parent to another: Although your baby is undoubtedly gorgeous and clever, you’ll want to make a concerted effort to retain some adult conversation in your brain so you’ll be able to chat with non-parents without bringing up poop, cracked nipples, or spit-up. Your friends without children will certainly appreciate it.